上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]frithjofr 677ポイント678ポイント  (122子コメント)

I've run track and field, cross country, I've played soccer, rugby and football, and I've played baseball a few times. The ass-slap is kind of ubiquitous.

When I was running track, or after a 5k, the ass slap was the most reasonable and easiest way to congratulate somebody. Most of the time they'd either be bent over sucking in air, or with both hands on their head trying to catch their breath. An ass slap is something they'll feel and it doesn't require their attention, and it's well understood as "Great fucking job".

As for soccer, after a goal, celebrations get crazy. Usually the goal-scorer is being swarmed while they themselves seek out the player who gave them a ball in. Generally speaking people have two hands, and there's 11 people on a soccer team. Everyone wants to get a congratulations in so there's a lot of quick fist bumps and ass slaps and elbow bumps and even a few hugs.

Even after a good defensive play the other defenders/goalkeeper will usually move in for an ass slap on the one who made the play.

In football everyone's wearing pads and a helmet, the ass is really the only exposed part that's open to slapping, plus with huge teams, you usually tend to get huge lines of high-fives and ass slaps.

So, in short, because the ass is always a viable target, it doesn't require mutual attention, it's not very involved, and it's a guaranteed way to get attention.

[–]Coach_GordonBombay 526ポイント527ポイント  (54子コメント)

[–]Iwasborninafactory_ 727ポイント728ポイント  (20子コメント)

I've run track and field, cross country, I've played soccer, rugby and football, and I've played baseball a few times. The dick in the mouth is kind of ubiquitous. When I was running track, or after a 5k, the dick in the mouth was the most reasonable and easiest way to congratulate somebody. Most of the time they'd either be bent over sucking in air, or with both hands on their head trying to catch their breath. A dick in the mouth is something they'll feel and it doesn't require their attention, and it's well understood as "Great fucking job". As for soccer, after a goal, celebrations get crazy. Usually the goal-scorer is being swarmed while they themselves seek out the player who gave them a ball in. Generally speaking people have two hands, and there's 11 people on a soccer team. Everyone wants to get a congratulations in so there's a lot of dick in the mouth. Even after a good defensive play the other defenders/goalkeeper will usually move in for a dick in the mouth on the one who made the play. In football everyone's wearing pads and a helmet, the dick is really the only exposed part that's open to the mouth, plus with huge teams, you usually tend to get huge lines of high-fives and dick in the mouth. So, in short, because the dick is always a viable target, it doesn't require mutual attention, it's not very involved, and it's a guaranteed way to get attention.

[–]The_Sober_Ocelot 119ポイント120ポイント  (9子コメント)

Did I just witness the birth of a new copypasta? :')

[–]Face_Roll 130ポイント131ポイント  (4子コメント)

I've run track and field, been in twitch chat, I've played soccer, rugby and football, and I've been on 4chan a few times. This copypasta is kind of ubiquitous. When I was running track, or after a 5k comment thread, this copypasta was the most reasonable and easiest way to congratulate somebody. Most of the time they'd either be bent over sucking in air, or with both hands on their head trying to catch their breath during slowmode. A good copypasta is something they'll feel and it doesn't require their attention, and it's well understood as "Great fucking job". As for reddit, after gold, celebrations get crazy. Usually the gold-scorer is being swarmed while they themselves seek out the redditor who guilded them. Generally speaking, people have two old, reliable copypastas, and there's 11+ people on reddit. Everyone wants to get a congratulations in so there's a lot of copypasta being copy pasted. Even after a good comment the other commentors will usually move in to copy and paste their copypastas for the one who made the comment. IRL everyone's wearing pads and a helmet, so the eyes are really the only exposed part that's open to a copypasta, plus with huge threads, you usually tend to get huge lines of high-fives and copypastas. So, in short, because the copypasta is always a viable option, it doesn't require mutual attention, it's not very involved, and it's a guaranteed way to get attention.

[–]tekno45 17ポイント18ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's....glorious. Like the birth of a galaxy filled with possibilities.

[–]everythingsleeps 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks! Now I understand and it all makes sense to me. I'll have to do this next time I'm really into a game with my team. It's so obvious why males and females play these sports separately by sex: the guys couldn't do dick in mouth with women and it would give the wrong impression trying that on a women during a game. Plus they don't have a dick to put in the mouth. It's too bad, we always hear that were all "created equal," but this is one thing that really separates us "dick in mouth sportsmanship ".

[–]Dekar2401 29ポイント30ポイント  (4子コメント)

I saw this on the news when I was kid watching tv with my dad and sister. We all were confused, so very confused.

[–]FoxRaptix 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

I take it he just missed his chance scoring with all the other balls on the field?

[–]chokfull 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

...What the hell is really going on here? Seriously, does anyone have context that helps this make any more sense?

[–]420farms 53ポイント54ポイント  (25子コメント)

Played football at the NFL level and Id have to agree - its almost an after thought because you grow up with it from a very young age... and half the time if you're the one getting slapped in the butt its not even conscious... but theres always times where guys make it super exaggerated if you do something noteworthy good or bad, but you learn to avoid those teammates lol and for us white boys without booty, it can be painful and sometimes they catch a nad and you're just like WTF!?

[–]dmacisabeast 36ポイント37ポイント  (1子コメント)

If this is true, please consider doing an AMA in /r/NFL sometime

[–]ImKitsteR 8ポイント9ポイント  (20子コメント)

What's your name if you played in the NFL?

[–]IamNotYourBuddy 24ポイント25ポイント  (5子コメント)

You'd be surprised how many people have had a cup of coffee in professional level sports and are just normal people when they get out. The average NFL career is like 3 years. There are hundreds of players each year who never make it, cut, and never heard from again. I knew a former NFL player, he was a manager at a local subway near me. He played for about 3 years, got a super bowl ring with the 2001 Patriots, and is even in a Madden game. But he was so far down the depth chart that he doesn't have a wikipedia and it's pretty hard to even find proof that he actually played in the NFL.

[–]GaulPeorge 62ポイント63ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ryan Leaf

[–]cr42 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

Charger fans hate him...

But seriously, fuck Ryan Leaf...

We legitimately hate him.

[–]TrapandRelease 26ポイント27ポイント  (2子コメント)

With a user name like that I'd say Ricky Williams.

[–]hitler-- 14ポイント15ポイント  (3子コメント)

Ricky Williams. Check his post history/username.

[–]earthtokeebs 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know. Everything you said just sounds like an excuse to me. You can just as easily tap someone on the back when they are bent over. Why go for the ass?

[–]Blixnstraten 1609ポイント1610ポイント  (518子コメント)

It's a comradery thing.

Being part of a team, there's a physicality that comes with it. You get changed in the dressing room together, you are all chummy and playful with each other. it's about keeping morale high and a tight knit group plays better together.

By maintaining that connection via fist bumps, hi 5's (stuff people do normally) hugs & pats on the back/butt (stuff team mates do) you keep the connection going and play better as a team.

[–]DuckyFreeman 256ポイント257ポイント  (29子コメント)

Being part of a team, there's a physicality that comes with it. You get changed in the dressing room together, you are all chummy and playful with each other.

I've always felt that the ass slap was a way to quickly and nonverbally reinforce the idea that we are on a team, against them. It's a two sided thing; the guy doing the slapping, and the slapee not getting upset. It's like a high five, someone always has to be first, to ask for the validation, and it means a lot when the other guy rejects the request. When I slap your ass, I'm saying "hey bro, you and me, we're close. We're in this together, and I've got your back". When you don't get upset, you're saying "You're god damned right. None of those chucklefucks could get away with that, but you can".

[–]slightlysubversive 129ポイント130ポイント  (18子コメント)

It means, "You done good."

First time it happened to me, it was weird, but I was proud. I did something good for my team and getting slapped on the ass meant you did good and I'm telling you enthusiastically you did good.

I'd just made a clean and hard open field tackle. I had team mates clapping me on the head and back. I was getting high 5s. The coach, a real old school hard ass, slapped me on the ass and said,"Good fucking job son."

I was so proud. I ran even harder at practice that week.

If you never experienced it, you'll never understand.

[–]only_your_enemy 70ポイント71ポイント  (6子コメント)

As someone who played football for 8 years, I have no idea what you're talking about, and hated the ass-slap. Every single time it made me uncomfortable. It didn't help that I was first string and played well and had it happen every change of sides. I don't care what anyone says or what I do with my butt now, the first numerous times I had my ass touched was by my old way too enthusiastic coaches and it was weird.

Regretfully, a left guard now into buttstuff.

[–]slightlysubversive 26ポイント27ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think it's supposed to be uncomfortable. It's a weird moment. And it exists in the context of you've done something positive for your collective good. The weird moment becomes the price for mass approval.

So it stands out. At some point I had done enough positive things that I associated it with a positive emotion. Being slapped on the ass by many people became a good thing.

I played organized soccer for 12 years, football for 4, rugby for 15 years, baseball for 7. Wrestled for 3. Basically all year long from age 7 to my mid-30's

And yes. My knees creak and ache. My neck and right shoulder are jacked and hurt a lot. My left eardrum had a rupture so my hearing is a little less sensitive there. Broken nose, broken fingers. 2 concussions.

Wait. what were we talking about again?

Ahh buttstuff. Why regretfully? I've heard you cum buckets.

[–]only_your_enemy 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think it's supposed to be uncomfortable. It's a weird moment. And it exists in the context of you've done something positive for your collective good. The weird moment becomes the price for mass approval.

So it stands out. At some point I had done enough positive things that I associated it with a positive emotion. Being slapped on the ass by many people became a good thing.

Conditioning weird moments? I don't know where that goes...

And yes. My knees creak and ache. My neck and right shoulder are jacked and hurt a lot. My left eardrum had a rupture so my hearing is a little less sensitive there. Broken nose, broken fingers. 2 concussions.

Yep, I'm 25 yet my knees pop every time I stand up. Neck doesn't turn well to the left. My jaw pops loudly and seemingly out of socket when I try to fully extend it and pops back in again. My left thumb does the same. I had a discectomy (back surgery) when I was 18. For all of us that didn't go on to sports professionally...why did we submit our bodies to this shit?

Wait. what were we talking about again?

Ahh buttstuff. Why regretfully? I've heard you cum buckets.

Prostate orgasms make you forget about a lot of things, friend. :)

[–]sadistic_cat 26ポイント27ポイント  (4子コメント)

Though I never thought much about this phenomenon, when you explain it like that it seems a bit creepy.

[–]slightlysubversive 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

Without the context of sports and doing something worthy of note, then yeah it's weird. You don't just slap ass for showing up. And no cupping, or squeezing. At least in America.

Good job getting those bananas, cornflakes, and milk. (ass slap)

Unless I just made a double play, scored a try, or made an interception, then don't slap ass.

Weirdly, if I DID make a sweet double play, scored a try, or laid someone out with a tackle then someone better slap my ass.

Sports culture is weird, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Edit: missing word and sentence construction.

[–]Checkoutmyrims 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is probably one of the best explanations of the ass-slap I've ever seen

[–]Glockamolee 2205ポイント2206ポイント  (365子コメント)

So basically all male sport teams should fuck each other like Spartans did.

[–]upads 1473ポイント1474ポイント  (206子コメント)

If they do, morale would go so high they break all records in human history, so it is banned.

[–]illaqueable 2593ポイント2594ポイント  (185子コメント)

This is the reason that homosexuality is still so taboo among professional athletes: the powers that be know that a team of fit, gay dudes railing each other would be so happy and content that they would win everything, thereby destroying league parity and eliminating the competition that makes sport so exciting. Therefore, systematic homophobia.

I mean, look at women's sports: UConn basketball? Knee deep in each other's cooters. 10 national championships, 16 Final Four berths, and 40+ division titles. Does gay pay? You tell me.

#micdrop

[–]bobjoeman 173ポイント174ポイント  (26子コメント)

[–]AdmiralShark 27ポイント28ポイント  (4子コメント)

Before I even click that I have to say that the URL has me ready for some beetlezord or whatever it was power ranger ripoff and if I don't get it I'm gonna be pissed.

Edit: That's an acceptable substitute actually.

[–]gloomyMoron 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Big Bad Beetleborgs, but it wasn't a ripoff of the Power Rangers (since it was handled by basically the same company anyway). It was based off of the Metal Hero series from Japan much like Power Rangers were based off of the Super Sentai series. I think Kamen Rider is pretty much the only live-action series to make it to the US from Japan with the its name intact.

[–]AdmiralShark 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well holy shit. There's an expert for everything on Reddit.

[–]Viking83 13ポイント14ポイント  (5子コメント)

This is handball and it's a rough, but awesome, sport. I can't believe it's not more popular in the US, being fast-paced, high-scoring and violent :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENUIpiwU2aM

[–]Uberzwerg 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

For more stuff like this just google 'handballing'

[–]STALKS_YOUR_MOTHER 349ポイント350ポイント  (83子コメント)

Does it help them win? Yes. Does it pay? No.

[–]cl0ckt0wer 89ポイント90ポイント  (75子コメント)

Gay house holds make more than straight households http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/2249677

[–]BlackPenGuy 151ポイント152ポイント  (49子コメント)

Hate to be that guy but [citation needed] because that sounds outrageous.

[–]Recognizant 122ポイント123ポイント  (27子コメント)

Citation still needed, but my armchair approach deems it possible.

They'd have to do the study on openly gay couples. (Closet gay couples being hard to find/more rare to report.) Openly gay people tend to be in a lower-middle-class or higher economic tier, because lower economic tiers tend to have a stronger anti-LGBT culture. The couples will tend to live in the city, rather than in rural areas. The couples will be stable (Otherwise they aren't a couple), and tend not to have children, because of the adoption difficulties. All of which points to a higher likelihood of study-viable adults who earn more money than the average.

Doesn't necessarily mean it's the best science, though, because you would have to predict a lot of absent data to come up with proper results.

[–]Das_Mime 59ポイント60ポイント  (15子コメント)

Part of the effect also comes from the fact that gay people are less likely to have children, and children can often be detrimental to advancement in a career because parental leave policies in this country are shit.

[–]Minombrej 31ポイント32ポイント  (7子コメント)

We call those DINKS in the sales world. DuAl income, no kids. -edit: one letter was the difference between violence and a couple.

[–]Recognizant 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

I mentioned that.

and tend not to have children, because of the adoption difficulties.

Obviously some gay couples will have biological children from former marriages and the like, but it could certainly be expected to be less common.

[–]timworx 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I mean just off the bat, less chance of kids so less chance of stay at home parent.

I wouldn't be surprised if the progressive nature of many universities makes his education more appealing, too.

[–]fatclownbaby 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

plus, for guys, gay porn pays way better than straight porn

[–]Soerinth 28ポイント29ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why not create an all gay league of super sports stars?

Holy shit that's why the military ended don't ask don't tell! We are unstoppable now.

[–]beholdthewang 26ポイント27ポイント  (15子コメント)

The gayest things I've ever seen in my life have happened in locker rooms. It even tops the time i went to a gay bar for my friends birthday and witness first hand what belt looping means.

[–]CanadaUnderFire 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

And then those jocks, who actually are gay, end up bullying kids, who may or may not be gay, about being gay. Oh, the irony hypocrisy of society.

[–]Basilisc 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You sound like Huey Freeman.

[–]SpaceViolet 37ポイント38ポイント  (11子コメント)

Laughed way harder than was warranted

[–]101Alexander 90ポイント91ポイント  (9子コメント)

A warrant has been issued for your unwarranted laughing

[–]xavierkiath 19ポイント20ポイント  (5子コメント)

Is it a limited warrant or can he now basically laugh at funerals and be ok?

[–]Elided_Ego 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think the judge who issued that warrant should probably be brought up on disciplinary charges.

[–]End_of_This 87ポイント88ポイント  (70子コメント)

Did the Spartans really fuck each other or is that just a rumour?

[–]Lotoran 163ポイント164ポイント  (30子コメント)

Yup.

Edit: Oh! Thanks stranger! You popped my golden cherry.

[–]sirgog 53ポイント54ポイント  (25子コメント)

A big factor was that the society didn't really want 'citizens' having many babies, as that undermined the economic structure of slavery. Cultural norms promoting same-sex relationships and looking down on opposite-sex ones fitted the economic needs well.

[–]_Solid_ 49ポイント50ポイント  (21子コメント)

ughh i think they need some of this in india and china and less of it in japan

[–]EpikurusFW 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's not really the case. The homosexual relationships were in no way replacements for heterosexuality but ran parallel. There was certainly no desire to limit the number of free citizen children. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[–]heliotach712 30ポイント31ポイント  (19子コメント)

big time. Institutionalised pederasty was abound in the hills of Lacedaemonia. The oft-described eugenics (if that's what you want to call leaving malformed infants for the wolves on an exposed hillside) probably was just a rumor, since the only source for it is Plutarch who was totally gay for Athens and obviously had no first-hand experience of pre-Hellenistic Sparta.