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Basically, I'm afraid of others (self.TheBluePill)

fruitbooploops が 投稿

I'm afraid of making a move.. And I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. More gripping, I don't what the right thing to say is. I try to be myself, but it's very confusing trying to figure out what you're doing because it's who you are and what you're doing for other reasons. I don't even know what it is that makes something integral to who you are

I think people like me make up a lot of the red pill population, I'm not a red puller myself, but I do want to overcome this stuff, and, after trying for so long, Ive started to feel very lost.. Seems like my only option is to reach out in posts like these..

Just looking for advice, I guess.

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[–]WestsideMoonWalkerChad Ochocinco Thundercocks 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, you need to break it down into smaller chunks, first off, in my opinion. It seems like you are thinking of things on a grand scale, when in fact breaking it into more manageable pieces might help you figure out who you are. Aside from that, there is no right thing to say, you should say what you feel like saying. Obviously there are wrong things to say, if you need to know those, just ask.

This isn't very eloquent, but it's a good place to start.

[–]fruitbooploops[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I find myself going overboard a little.. I want to have fun with others, so when I'm talking I just like to make a ton of jokes, but I think people either always find this annoying or it just gets annoying after a while... I don't really know what else to do, and I feel like there's something wrong with me... A ~friend recently told me "you're stuck in a bit" and "it's better to be stuck serious than in a bit" which has thrown me for a loop.. I know that was douchey of him to say, but I don't know if he's right or not.. If I wasn't "stuck in a bit" maybe people would like me more..

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerChad Ochocinco Thundercocks 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think your biggest enemy right now is self doubt, to be perfectly honest. You seem to doubt that people genuinely like you, from what I can see. Be confident, you clearly have something to offer those around you, and introspection is good, but the balance is a bit off. Correct that and you are fine, and remember to believe in yourself.

[–]madscientistlovehyena bitch 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I try to be myself, but it's very confusing trying to figure out what you're doing because it's who you are and what you're doing for other reasons. I don't even know what it is that makes something integral to who you are

You sound exactly like me at 19. Here's the thing: it doesn't matter. All the things you say and do, all the things you like and dislike, that's you. Don't overthink it.

I'm afraid of making a move.. And I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

You know what helped me? Talk to everyone. Crack jokes at the person ringing you up at the supermarket. Make small talk with the guy on the train. It gets easier as you do it. Think of it like a game. Make 'em smile, make 'em laugh.

Sometimes it'll be awkward. Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing, but that's okay. You'll learn from that too because it will happen, and the world won't end. You'll feel a little silly, but you'll shake it off. Next time you won't feel as silly.

Pretty soon it won't seem so hard to try, and it will start to come naturally. Reach out to people in real life. Make one or two real, solid friends if you don't have them now. Get closer to the friends you do have. They're your allies.

But most of all: it'll be okay, don't worry. Most of us humans out in the wild are just as self-conscious as you are. We're mostly friendly and we really don't bite.

[–]GynaTynglez 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I totally relate, although most people who know me think I'm really extroverted. I overcompensate because people scare me. You're not the only one. It is good advice to practice being friendly to everyday people you meet. Supermarket clerks, baristas, bus drivers- just saying "hello, how are you" and being friendly is great practice and can make others happy. A good technique I've learned is to ask people questions about themselves and to really listen to their responses. People will think you're a brilliant conversationalist, and most people like to talk about themselves and are flattered when someone cares enough to ask and listen. Hope some of this is helpful, hang in there.