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STIFU by aggressively shaking my girlfriend while she slept (self.tifu)

ppredd が 投稿

GF stayed in my house last night.

Having a great night sleep when all of a sudden my girlfriend starts freaking out. We regularly have situations like this where one of us is having some insane nightmare and the other has to deal with the BS of being woken up, but this was a spectacular freak out. Shaking, screaming, knocking shit over - almost as if she was possessed.

I'm pretty p'd off tbh, as I was really tired and now completely awake. So I'm not as caring as usual, I start to shout "Come on theres no need for this. Its all okay. Nothing is happening go back to sleep!!!!"

Then I realise why shes going crazy, the mattress of the bed has like a big hole in it and her hand got caught in it. I notice that she isn't calming down after my shouting and I start to shake her back and over with her shoulders and telling her to wake up.

She eventually lets out a scream "will you stop!!!!"

At that time my attention goes back to the hole in the bed. Why is there a hole in the bed?! Everything starts to clear up. Theres no longer a hole in the bed. My gf is staring at me angrily standing up beside the bed.

GF was not having a nightmare. GF was actually having a great sleep.

I was having a nightmare and randomly got up screaming, shouting and shaking the shit out of my GF.

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[–]Voyager5555 339ポイント340ポイント  (38子コメント)

We regularly have situations like this where one of us is having some insane nightmare and the other has to deal with the BS of being woken up,

May want to get that checked out

[–]fate_mutineer 117ポイント118ポイント  (31子コメント)

I wondered if I'm the only one to find that odd. Sure, we all got vivid nightmares sometimes, and maybe under certain circumstances this might result in heavy phsyical movement. But having this regularly? And then even TWO persons who share a bed having this regularly? Not very likely, better see the doctor. Might be something environmental.

[–]OriginalPrankster889 122ポイント123ポイント  (11子コメント)

I'm going with Indian burial ground where their house is.

[–]kingeryck 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sometimes, dead's bettah.

[–]SOBOTS 27ポイント28ポイント  (8子コメント)

Leave out a few bottles of liquor and that should calm them down for a while.

[–]CorvoAttano420 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Will you join me for whiskey and cigars?

[–]illegaljokes 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is whiskey and cigar all that you can think of?

[–]CurcleofLife 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Never doubt it.

[–]Owlsdoom 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Blankets. Just leave out the special blankets. Smallpox works on ghosts right?

[–]___---42---___ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

All fun and games until someone gets stuck in the fucking TV

[–]Naggers123 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just a while though. Best thing to do is install a slot machine and use it one in a while

[–]ferlessleedr -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because angry drunk ghosts is so much better than angry sober ghosts.

[–]Obie_Trice_Kenobi 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

America is having such bad luck lately, it seems like the whole thing was built on ancient Indian burial gr- oh wait it literally was.

[–]KixStar 24ポイント25ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep. Not that long ago there was a guy around here who was randomly sleep walking and leaving himself weird notes. He thought someone was sneaking into his apartment. Another Redditor essentially saved his life by suggesting he get a carbon monoxide detector.

[–]S3raphi 16ポイント17ポイント  (5子コメント)

Mold? Slow CO leak?

[–]AadeeMoien 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

It doesn't need to be neurological, it could be something as simple as a regular noise disrupting their sleep in the middle of the night. For example, a train, HVAC unit, boiler, mole men, shaking pipes, airport, etc.

[–]AnotherMerp 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mole men? Tell me more...

[–]Anon123212321 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

PC running in the room is one that's often overlooked. Possibly because when you get used to the noise you don't even notice it until it's turned off.

[–]TheGreatWalk 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have slept with my PC on for a long time. I know, however, that's not the reason for my shitty sleep, since I have the same issue when I sleep in places where my airplane.. err, PC, isn't there.

[–]Not_aUsername 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe not relevant, but I remember some thread few months back, where the OP describes certain symptoms, and commenters suggested a CO leak.

I think it was confirmed by the OP to be true.

(damn I know this comment is vague. But I'm just fairly certain I'm remembering this stuff correctly)

[–]shinypurplerocks 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

They may have bonded over their nightmares

[–]keenkidkenner 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I found that super odd as well. I've been with my boyfriend for six years and I can't remember a single time where we woke each other up having nightmares. I think it's a tad bizarre it would happen all the time.

[–]KingKittyWizard 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

Certain brain meds can do that to you. I'm on quite a high dose of Venlafaxine and I have fucking awful dreams every single night :/

[–]Epic_Problem 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Woo venlafaxine. I'm on 225 mgs and just started wellbutrin with it today (ex haven't found something that works yet). Dreams fucking suck.

[–]julianedelmansbffl 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Try taking melatonin and ZMA. I mean, ZMA gives you really intense dreams, but maybe in your case they'll get better-intense. Or become awful. I dunno.

[–]goldenGygax 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"My meds give me terrible nightmares."

"Try taking these. It'll make them even stronger."

[–]Epic_Problem -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Are you a psychologist that knows his personal history? No? Okay then.

[–]theeyeeats 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah I'm pretty sure their house is haunted

[–]sexybeam 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty sure their LSD is haunted

[–]newosis 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

most likely lifestyle related rather than environmental. Odds OP and his Mrs enjoy a smoke and probably some other recreational substances.

Doctor : So /u/ppredd do you take use any drugs at all

/u/ppredd : Yeah I smoke a bit of weed etc

Doctor: Well that would be why you are having fucked up dreams. Now get the fuck out my surgery and stop wasting my time

[–]iushciuweiush 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yea that's why you never tell your doctor you consume MJ. It doesn't matter if you have stage 3 brain cancer, the moment your doctor hears Marijuana that becomes the cause of all of your problems. It's their go-to after blaming everything on stress.

[–]fuzaro 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Something like environmental evil spirit entities.

[–]throwhellodontsayno_ 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

The funny thing is, they don't both keep having nightmares where they have to wake each other up, it's all OP who keeps having nightmares in which his girlfriend is having nightmares.

OP you need to sort your shit out, she isn't having nightmares, she isn't even real, you don't have a girlfriend.

[–]degva 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a plot twist.

[–]Medfried 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's the actual nightmare

[–]kyleg5 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

And that's how OP found out he and his girlfriend had low level CO poisoning.

[–]Coffee--Pot 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, the most me and my SO have is occasional conversations. Or sometimes I fart and it wakes me up.

Which he finds hilarious and cute at the same time.

Having intense nightmares sounds unhealthy for the ol' ticker.

[–]CourseCorrections 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Could be something in the water if both are having same symptoms environmental causes are a possibility. Bad drugs?

[–]ICYURNVS86 596ポイント597ポイント  (18子コメント)

Shakeception...Bwaaaaaaaah

Edit: Bwaaaaaaaah

[–]double_ended_cow 110ポイント111ポイント  (14子コメント)

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[–]4EverUnknown 93ポイント94ポイント  (13子コメント)

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[–]raews_i_esrever_ton 40ポイント41ポイント  (6子コメント)

Tid-tid-tididit-tid-tid-tididit.

[–]DollarStoreHotSauce 26ポイント27ポイント  (4子コメント)

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[–]joshybox2244 12ポイント13ポイント  (3子コメント)

There's less and less updoots being given out with each "Bwaaaah". Just... just.. don't.. just.. sigh don't worry

[–]notenoughspaceforthe 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now I know Hans Zimmer's Reddit account. Looks like you're known now, /u/4everunknown!

[–]endrex 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bwaaah! That boy aint right.

[–]PlumsNThings 332ポイント333ポイント  (21子コメント)

That is some next level M. Night Shamalamadingdong shit.

[–]pm_meyourlegs 33ポイント34ポイント  (16子コメント)

Now his name shall forever be M. Night Shamalamadingdong.

[–]jm419 122ポイント123ポイント  (10子コメント)

Oh, it already was.

[–]pm_meyourlegs 28ポイント29ポイント  (9子コメント)

Why didn't I get the fucking memo. Dammit Jerry.

[–]jm419 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Come on, Jerry, you can't even get your own name right?"

"No, my name is actually Gary, but my previous boss called me Jerry one day and I just never corrected him."

[–]ViolentWrath 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I did this for my first job at McDonald's. They had a preferred name area and I put my preferred name in there which is different from my legal name. Ever since the first interview they called me by my legal name and with it being my 1st job I didn't want to correct them and risk not getting the job and I never actually corrected anyone until about 5 months in when I was convinced telling them that wouldn't do anything as far as me losing my job.

To be fair though the woman that interviewed me turned out to be a pretty heavy control freak and I think if I had corrected her she probably wouldn't have hired me as she would have seen that as a threat to her control. Hard to say though.

[–]Phteve_French 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

Don't blame Barry! You probably did get the memo, but missed it because you were too busy looking at legs.

[–]pm_meyourlegs 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

HEY! I probably was damn Jerry has some fine ass legs.

[–]Phteve_French 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's the secret to his marriage.

[–]beef_the_shmeef 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

i thought it was his long dong?

[–]pm_meyourlegs 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is his everything. There is something about him that is just right.

[–]Burdicus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just took a nap and I'm still tired of Jerry's shit.

[–]Scoopsauce 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

its larry now.

[–]MixedFraction 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

In case you didn't get the reference

[–]pm_meyourlegs 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had never actually heard that before EXCELLENT i learned more from the internets today. SUCCESS!

[–]Silent_Killah 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Midnight Shamalamadingdong.

[–]monstrinhotron 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

it's always been Midnight Shenanigans in our house.

[–]voteforabetterpotato 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Was it ever not?

On a side note, I don't like the amount of crying children in his movies.

[–]tyson1988 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

heh

[–]GettingMeThroughWork 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gave her the ole Shy-amalan twist.

[–]spidyalex54 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a twist!

[–]-MNightShyamalan 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would have done better.

This is for that name spelling, ya douche

[–]M1L3N 52ポイント53ポイント  (2子コメント)

What a plot twist! I didn't see that coming lol

[–]ipatentthings 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Twist and shout... just shake it up baby now...

[–]oGeyra 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, don't shake the baby!

[–]The_Dallas_Diddler 26ポイント27ポイント  (12子コメント)

At least you weren't aggressively shaking a baby in your nightmare. That could've been bad.

[–]GoodShitLollypop 20ポイント21ポイント  (10子コメント)

Now I know why they say not to sleep next to your baby. Not for normal people, but for people like OP.

[–]Livvypooo 10ポイント11ポイント  (9子コメント)

It's more because people often move in their sleep, and parents sleeping next to their baby have been known to roll over, suffocating their child in the night.

[–]destinythrow1 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's not why we don't co-sleep. It's because my son is a goddamn whirling dervish when he sleeps and never stops moving. If I was actually able to fall asleep next to that little tornado I'd be more worried about him rolling on top of my face at some point.

[–]Livvypooo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hook his bed up to a dynamo, and suddenly you have free electricity!

[–]GoodShitLollypop 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's the story, but infants and parents have been sleeping in a dogpile for literal eons. The above is by far an exception, and it's only an exception for people like our beloved OP :P

It's like SIDS. SIDS only strikes an extraordinarily small number of victims. But since there are ways to prevent even that small chance, we will do what we can. Same with cosleeping. The odds of anything happening due to cosleeping across the general population are probably akin to lottery-level odds.

[–]Livvypooo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

People don't tend to think in terms of the general population, but rather more personal. Especially when it comes to their own spawn, but yeah that's true. I mean, we could leave our child to fend for itself against common ailments, because we've done that for eons, but then if something does happen you know that you could have prevented it.

[–]WildVariety 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Number of people were sent to prison here in the UK for Cotdeath. Pretty sure most of them have since bee released.

[–]_stonecoldsaidso -4ポイント-3ポイント  (3子コメント)

It's only really an issue if you're fat or drunk.

Which I suppose covers 90% of people so I guess it is an issue.

[–]bradley129 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's completely stupid. A 90 pound guy could suffocate and kill a baby by just turning over in the wrong direction.

[–]Livvypooo 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not really, no. It's one of the biggest causes of death in babies; bed sharing, not just a parent rolling over, but the latter is one of the issues. There's also the risk of suffocation from your child rolling over, and being unable to turn over again, so their face is trapped in the pillow/mattress. Overheating is also a big issue. A blanket strangling them.

Basically, there's a reason a cot is designed the way it is, and why you don't want to move your child from a bed specifically for it to a regular bed until they're older.

[–]pooooooooooooooo0oop 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's bullshit. Fat people don't move when sleeping, it's too difficult.

[–]TOGTFO 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shaken baby syndrome is actually a debated condition among the worlds top pathologists. They tend to think it's not a thing and the injuries are caused by individual acceleration and deceleration events to the brain (so the head being hit/slammed/knocked etc).

So the excuse you shook the baby no longer works, as it's mainly believed the kid is hit. The hemorrhaging in the eyes is cause by the swelling in the dura as it presses against the eyeballs.

[–]noch_1999 52ポイント53ポイント  (2子コメント)

No mention of checking your totem.

Your gf was on to your gig the whole time.

Sorry Mr. Cobb, I'm looking for a professional. You fail.

[–]pelvicmomentum 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The problem with a totem is that you're too stupid when you're dreaming to remember that you even have one

[–]Lolmoqz 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://imgur.com/ua1mplU

[–]I_are_facepalm 55ポイント56ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake her off, shake her off

But ya, I thought you were describing some crazy meth house at first with that torn mattress description...

[–]Adip0se 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake your body line

Shake, shake, shake, Senora, shake it all the time

[–]LyushkaPushka 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had to check if this was /r/nosleep

[–]IronyGiant 25ポイント26ポイント  (0子コメント)

What a tweest!

[–]pm_naked_females 25ポイント26ポイント  (4子コメント)

I have this condition as well. It is a brain malfunction (really not that scary) and you want to go to a sleep specialist.

[–]ohstopitu 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

you dropped that on him so quick...poor guy must have shit in his pants

[–]Enkanel 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's going to have nightmares about it now!

[–]Amer2703 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just a very minor case of serious brain damage.

[–]Gokjo_Krorl 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

brain malfunction

Subtle.

[–]Sbuiko 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

TIFU by aggressively SHAVING my girlfriend while she slept

[–]PM_UR_KNUCKLE_TATS 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yo dawg we heard you like nightmares so we put a nightmare in your nightmare so you could nightmare while you nightmare. 2007

[–]jana007 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

You guys regularly wake up from nightmares?

[–]hannibalhooper14 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

They wake each other up, who in turn wake the victim up.

[–]B4173415CU73 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

Please don't have babies.

[–]95Mb 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why? If he has a baby then he'll never sleep! Nightmares solved.

[–]arthurchristie 11ポイント12ポイント  (7子コメント)

Sounds like night terrors man, its a legit thing; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror

[–]kalitarios 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

The night is dark, and full of terrors.

[–]dose_response 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've had these a few times. The first time, I woke up across my dorm room from my bed, protecting myself with a laundry basket from a 4-foot diameter spider. It took me days to get over that.

[–]ANUSTART942 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

They're the fucking worst and frankly embarrassing. I'm 19 and live at home still, and sleep in my underwear. I'm having a peaceful sleep and suddenly OH MY GOD SPIDERS EVERYWHEEERE so I run out of my room as my mom stares at me half naked in the living room.

The worst part is I generally come to fairly quickly and realize that I was afraid of nothing and look incredibly stupid.

[–]NellNes 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've been having weekly/monthly intervals of night terrors for the past few years, but I didn't realize it was classified as a sleep disorder. That's crazy. I always attributed it to the anxiety disorders I have, but maybe I actually have a co-morbidity with a sleep disorder. That would blow.

Edit: Words

[–]AroundAboutThere 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

My husband sometimes gets night terrors. They're pretty awful. He wakes up in a complete panic which then causes me to freak out especially when it's 3 am and he's yelling about someone in the house or some shit.

[–]autowikibot 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Night terror:

A night terror, sleep terror or pavor nocturnus is a sleep disorder, causing feelings of terror or dread, and typically occurs during the first hours of stage 3-4 non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. Night terrors tend to happen during periods of arousal from delta sleep, also known as slow-wave sleep. During the first half of a sleep cycle, delta sleep occurs most often, which indicates that people with more delta sleep activity are more prone to night terrors. However, they can also occur during daytime naps.

Relevant: A Night in Terror Tower | Night Terrors (Star Trek: The Next Generation) | Murray-Hill riot

Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Call Me

[–]destinythrow1 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep. An old roommate of mine had them. He'd have to lock his bedroom door at night in case he had a particularly bad one. Usually they'd just result in him waking up in his closet or bathroom screaming. But he locked his door just in case he ever decided to venture out of his bedroom in his sleep.

[–]FunkyFireStarter 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dreaming about glory holes in your mattress? Freud would have something to say about that...

[–]Hechler 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

You are still asleep... WAKE UP!!!!

[–]evemanufacturetool 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I actually laughed. I was totally setup for your girlfriend freaking out but then bam! It was you all along!

[–]golfrinserepeat 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A few weeks ago I was having a dream and in the dream I was trying to escape from someone. Not sure why but I needed to kick this person really hard. Apparently I was barely asleep because when I kicked in my dream, I kicked hard in reality. My left leg kick barely grazed my sleeping wife. If I would have caught her full with that kick, it would have really hurt her. It was one of the rare times I can think of where something like that happened.

[–]jasona042 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was so ready to drill you on why the fuck a hole was in your mattress, too.

[–]BrueBrueSkies 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

We regularly have situations like this where one of us is having some insane nightmare

Uhhhh... what the fuck? That's not normal...

[–]Kenny__Loggins 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

10/10 would shaymalan again.

[–]DrawnM 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Both of get nightmares frequently? What if it happens at the same time?

[–]CaptainZer0dew 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

so basically you had a nightmare while sleeping and in reality. (I'm not calling your girlfriend a monster OP I'm just saying the screaming was probably really heart pounding for you)

[–]OldTimeyPugilist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

LPT: Do not shake girlfriend violently during sleep.

[–]shabinka 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm glad your girlfriend slept in the house, instead of outside.

[–]_reddit_loves_cp_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Are you sure you're not sleeping in a cloud of methane gas or something?

[–]ChurchOfSkatan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I laughed so hard at this

[–]Cyndershade 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is some M. Night Shazamalon stuff right here

[–]neologismist_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You don't have a girlfriend, do you OP?

[–]i_am_mr_solo_dolo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

even if it was her, why would you be pissed off and why is it BS that another person has a fucking terrifying nightmare..especially yo girl dawg, the fuck

[–]justnotdoingmywork 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

you should see a doc

[–]4EverUnknown 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, that took an unexpected turn.

[–]cereblown42 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Regrets collect like old friends.

[–]goomy 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

here to relive your darkest moments

[–]NotAYalie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can see no way, I can see no way

[–]Aliwet 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's the kind of stuff dreams are made of.

[–]WhenWillTheBassDrop 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is it bad that I want to give you Ambien just to watch what happens?

Seriously though, go get that checked out...

[–]bmh825 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you take melatonin or something? Had crazy dreams when I used to take that as well.

[–]mwhaskin 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This happens to me a lot. I wake up and strip my bed because there are snakes in it only to realize I'm a goddamned idiot. One time I moved my trash can all the way into the laundry room for some reason

[–]Drusiph 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lay off the Cid bro

[–]Aearx 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

One of the most unexpected endings, lol.

[–]krispness 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hole in the bed is OPs totem

[–]fattywombat 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hahahaha sounds like you (and maybe girlfriend) has parasomnia / night terrors. My husband used to have them on a fairly regular basis. Managing stress, and having a better sleep routine (I.e. getting enough, and at the same time every night) really helped him

[–]TonyMatter 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

GF will be running your family (best wishes with that). Just make it happen before she has second thoughts.

[–]lookforlinda 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

[–]khaosstar 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

My husband and I can't sleep in the same bed because of this. I toss and turn and have kicked and punched him enough times for him to declare enough's enough. We actually have separate rooms and it's amazing - we're both introverts and love it. Call me crazy all you want but we still get our cuddle time in.

[–]RobertETS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wait you regularly have nightmares? It's nice when parents let their 8 year Olds date and live together

[–]y_all_need_JESUS 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shake it off. Shake it off.

[–]spaceisgay 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Careful with those waking dreams. You could end up pulling a Mike Birbiglia and jumping out of a 2nd-story window in Walla Walla, Washington

[–]FierceBattle 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Now that's a fuckup. I remember this one time my ex woke up in the middle of her sleep and started speaking in a really creepy voice about something being in the house and how she was going to kill me. The things she described were crazy violent and weird. Her eyes were wide open too. I didn't know what to make of it, so I listened to everything she had to say and when she was done I woke her up and asked her if she had a bad dream and if she remembered anything. This happened three times before I actually told her that she was saying pretty bizarre stuff in her sleep. I didn't want her to be creeped out by herself. But it was definitely weird.

People do strange things in their sleep.

[–]BisyLark 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you want paranormal activity? Because this is how you get thrown into a camera by a bitch in pajama shorts.

[–]o0i81u8120o 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I sleep walk, more when I drink. My wife woke up and got ready for work and found me trying to take our queens sized mattress into the living room. I don't remember.

[–]chaoticgerbil 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had a weird ass nightmare like this last week (minus the girlfriend bit :() where I thought I was in a coffin and I was furiously bashing the sides of the coffin and top trying to get out, woke up and my TV was on the floor and my dresser was knocked over. Turns out I went on a rampage in my sleep.

[–]MARegulus 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

relevant

[–]xsparr0w 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Where can I buy the rights to this screenplay?

[–]GryffindorGhostNick -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I ROFL d.

[–]ccasella3 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bullshit meter was going off like crazy, i was thinking, "do you sleep on a mattress without sheets?" and "how do you not notice a hole in your bed before you go to sleep?" and then you pulled in the "it was all a dream" technique. Well played, sir.

[–]LeTrollSprewell 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Welp.. no more Ambien for you.

[–]am_i_the_one 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hahahaha. This is the best tifu that I've read in a long time.

[–]goodgulfgrayteeth 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

At least she didn't wake up screaming because you had your hand up her ass all the way to the elbow! Boy! Would your face have been red!

[–]maybeCarmenSanDiego 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wtf am I on nosleep?

I used to wake up screaming, crying, and/or talking a few times a week. Once I even jumped and tried to ram into the wall. If I hadn't been tackled into the couch, I would have sustained serious head trauma. I'm guessing that the cause was a combination of intense stress and malnutrition, because after I started fixing those it went away.

... But I doubt it's that for you guys... I'm thinking some sort of external factor...

[–]Dizi4 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought you killed her or shook her into a coma.

I'm so happy that it wasn't that

[–]AWildEnglishman 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wish you both a long and happy life together.

[–]GeroldDayne_Dawn 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What if you're still asleep and haven't woke up yet?

[–]1241551135 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you have nightmares this frequently, you need to change your diet man. Destress your life.

[–]SeriousSlacker 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/EXWyqSy.gifv

[–]sleepy_wifebeater 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

For those of you willing to read the next paragraph, I have a similar issue, but with a little bit of added violence.

Growing up, I would wake up gasping for air in a panic, and sometimes sleepwalk, wake up, and immediately panic. The worst night terror I ever had was when I was in college. I was stressed due to finals and my full time work schedule. I came home after work one night and went to bed. I fell to sleep, and around 2 am (roughly 2 hours after I went to bed), I woke up to hear my fiancé at the time screaming at the top of her lungs. She was screaming "PLEASE LET ME GO! PLEASE!”. My immediate thought was that someone was in the room with us. I reached out trying to feel for an intruder. My arms stung and felt wet, so I thought someone was stabbing both my fiancé and I with a knife or something. I began reaching out into the open, trying to feel for an intruder. She was trying so hard to get away from me, and I was screaming "I GOT YOU!". I “came to” a bit more, got out of bed, flipped the light on, and discovered my fiancé on the ground, in the corner, covered in blood. Her neck was bruised, lip busted, and sobbing. I tried helping her, but she wouldn't let me touch her. I grabbed the shotgun I keep next to my bed, and searched the house. After finding no one, I asked my fiancé what happened. She said that I pulled my arm underneath her back, pulled her on top of me, with her stomach facing the ceiling. I then wrapped my arm around her neck, and began screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP" in a very high pitch voice. After everything settled down, we were both a wreck. She was in a lot of pain, and I couldn’t believe what was happening. It is one of the weirdest experiences I have ever had. I was able to piece together some of the dream after everything cooled down, but not all of it. Needless to say, night terrors are NO fun. I had two sleep studies performed after that incident, and I am now taking medication every night before bed for it. I will never forget the experience, and if my wife and I begin talking about it, even in passing, we both become emotional about it. She later told me that when it was happening, she had no energy left and accepted the fact that she was going to die...this is what kills me, that I put her through this.

If you experience night terrors of any kind, I HIGHLY suggest you see a specialist for it. Not only can they cause you harm, but also others. Also, if you have children and they experience anything like this, PLEASE GET THEM TESTED!!! It is in their best interest to learn about these issues early on, and not when they beat the shit out of your fiance...

[–]gilesinator 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Look at the flick of the twist

[–]OktoberStorm 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe you can't have gluten and/or lactose.

[–]Mrbob572[🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Constant disturbed sleeps, might be Co leak? Or something else in the air, get that shit checked.

[–]lt_melanef 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stop doing drugs before going to bed

[–]Olivesandbullshit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah..... I kinda woke up to a lady in my headlock once. That's what she woke up to too.

.........yup.

[–]Final_Countdown_Ass 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The countdown is at 99

[–]mattberg99 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of yesterday when I woke up furiously jerking off.. Don't know why I was doing it... When I woke up I kept going for a couple seconds before I even realized

[–]JustPeter2 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

well that's a fucking neat plot twist

[–]Nick246 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

S.B.S.

Shaken bitch syndrome.

Kills bitches every day.

[–]AlphaSpectrum 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

ken bitch syndrome. Kill

DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDdddd

[–]ViolentStepfather -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shaking isn't all that bad. I have a problem with punching in my sleep. Damnit...my username.