Russian army punishments

_thats_not_me_ · 8日前

I love how they could just make them all carry heavy logs and such, but it wasn't embarrassing enough for the punishment, so they actually had someone sit down and paint a gigantic "iPhone."

Strideo · 8日前

For the bayonet one you get a big wooden sword.

Punishment, or reward?

Nik_tortor · 8日前

I remember we got a new soldier and he lost his ID card on the first day so we made a huge cardboard cutout of an I'd card, put all his information on it and cut a hole for his face to go where his picture was and he had to hold it until he got his new one a week later.

Edit: Holy crap this blew up! ill try to find a picture of the guy tonight.

liberterrorism · 8日前

The guy at the end gets an iPhone 7? Doesn't seem like much of a punishment.

Danceswithchocobos · 8日前

There was a story posted on reddit a long time ago about a guy who was keeping skittles in his locker (which I'm assuming was not allowed).

His punishment? He had to plant every skittle in the bag into the ground. When he'd go to water the hole he had to scream: "TASTE THE RAINBOW!".

minimalisto · 8日前

The Canadian military's basic training has something similar to the phone prank.

They made people carry around an old rotary phone if they were caught with their cellphone.

The trick is, any staff could say 'ring ring ring', and you would have to answer the phone like there is someone on the other side.

No matter where you were, what you were doing.

Keep in mind during basic training you essentially have zero time for anything. So having to answer your 'phone' three times before you can eat your meal is actually a huge pain.

Kadaj2302 · 8日前

Let's be fair, that sword is definitely not a punishment. Everyone laughs at him but they really just wish they had a sword too.

amoyer55 · 8日前

During our ruck marches, if someone's ruck was under the weight limit they had to carry Pebble - a 35 lb rock. Saw Pebble once, people learned real quick. Good times.

dekenfrost · 8日前

When I was in German "boot camp" one of the recruits had heard that you can get out of military service (without having to do the compensation work) when you tell them that you are "unable/unwilling to use a gun because of moral issues".

He did this, but it didn't work out quite as he had hoped. He still had to finish boot camp, but he wasn't allowed to use guns, so he always had a wooden replacement that he was carrying around (it was not as big as these ones though, more like the real thing)

There were many ways to get out of German military honestly, but you had to have some luck. Of course, since 2011 military service isn't required in Germany any more.

Feroshnikop · 8日前

This person must've been caught masturbating on duty

a_small_goat · 8日前

One of my squadmates got caught by the MSG with a lip full of dip while in formation. The MSG made him dump out his ruck, turn out all his pockets and then eat both cans of wintergreen Kodiak he had on him. Not only was he sick as a dog afterwards, but he gave up tobacco entirely - and mint chewing gum, and he had to use kids' bubblegum toothpaste for months afterwards. Although it was kind of hilarious to have someone barfing mint everywhere during our ruck march.

One other person actually answered a phonecall while on a patrol scenario during the same FTX and was made to carry a brick around, pressed against the side of her head like a phone for the rest of the weekend. I didn't see it personally, but I know who it was, so it really wasn't that surprising.

Tom_Pain · 8日前

RIFLE IS FINE.

Pretend_Sanity · 8日前

I had a negligent discharge on deployment when I was in the US Army. Thankfully no one was hurt and no property was damaged.

My punishment was that the .50 cal machine gun had to be within arms reach of me for two weeks. I had to carry it with me when I went to eat, when I went to the latrine, I did PT with it and I slept with it right beside my cot (dummy corded to my wrist so it would be harder for someone to take it).

I'm actually very thankful that they decided to punish me that way Instead of making it official.

Suicidal-Ghost666 · 8日前

Damn, so what if your caught with a cigarette in your mouth a cellphone in your hand, without your gun or bayonet. I wonder what would happen.

raoulAcosta · 8日前

Breaking News: Apple sues Russia for IP infringement

ChazoftheWasteland · 8日前

That's a goddam Kent cigarette, too. When I lived in Romania, we would pay our housekeeper twice a month in the near worthless local paper money, the Lei IIRC, and once a month with a bag of groceries and two cartons of Kent cigarettes purchased at our commissary. The black market base currency was packs of Kents.

If you saw somebody smoking Kents, you knew they were rich, and probably high up in the Party.

Meunderwears · 8日前

The Ukrainians should develop a massive army of termites.

nebbie13 · 8日前

We do similar things in the US Army. When someone loses their ID card, it's common to create a giant one.

straydog1980 · 8日前

And all three guys burst out laughing when Recruit Ivan lost his standard issue butt plug.

DaSpawn · 8日前

Caught smoking on duty.

oh man, I wish this was the case in the ARMY and was the only reason I had to start smoking. Everyone in my squad would take a smoke break every hour, while I had to stay there in the 100+ degree heat inside a metal box (M577) and keep working

tried faking it for a bit just to catch a break, but they soon realized this and gladly let me sit there and kill my lungs instead

CutsLikeABuffalo333 · 8日前

"Some one put a nice varnish or something on it... Better write them a thank you note... Actually, here's a rape whistle; if you get into trouble some one with a real gun will come and help"-The other guys (some what)

Ytubrute · 8日前

Interesting; that Nokia in the last image seems to have an Apple logo on it...

AcOolNamE · 8日前

A little late for the party, but here goes:

I have a similar story from the Norwegian Army, where one of my friends was in the "Boat platoon" in Skjold (we call it mordor, because of the remote location, and generally hell-ish conditions). As the name says, they operated on the water, in harsh conditions. One late february night they came home after a 12 hour mission, and forgot to secure the boat when they went to shore. One of the sergeants on camp noticed this, and quickly swam out to get the boat. The next morning they woke up with an inflatable boat outside their room, with the instructions to carry this around at all times. Weeks passed, and wherever they went, the boat went with them, until one day when they forgot to secure the boat outside the canteen (note: this was not close to the water). The sergeants drove the boat to the top of a mountain, and told the privates that the boat "floated" away because they forgot to secure it.

Tr0user · 8日前

I'd hate to be on the receiving end of the punishment for being caught carrying a large wooden log.

Justworkhere · 8日前

"Why does Alexi carry such big cellular phone?"

"Alexi could not be getting signal with other phone. Commissar Jobski issued him Apple Tree Touch."

"Alexi is Capitalist pig"

hurdur1 · 8日前

The cell phone one. Classic!

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