上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]UnknownStory 1890ポイント1891ポイント  (97子コメント)

It's even more simple in China

Edit: It has come to my attention that I have number dyslexia. Corrected image below. Please do not lash me too hard, father.

https://i.imgur.com/dzmuiOF.png

[–]VAGINA_EMPEROR 452ポイント453ポイント  (39子コメント)

Holy shit

[–]r_hibbs 102ポイント103ポイント  (21子コメント)

Reminds me of Garfield minus Garfield

[–]heilspawn 137ポイント138ポイント  (18子コメント)

[–]iConfessor 27ポイント28ポイント  (0子コメント)

Garfield Minus Garfield is what people look like when they use twitter.

[–]seesharpdotnet 46ポイント47ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wow, Jim looks like he's gonna blow his brains out.

[–]King_Of_Uranus 42ポイント43ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd figure him more as hanging himself. Also its Jon. Jon Arbuckle. Jim Davis is the artist.

[–]IMSmurf 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow that was depressing.

[–]--Danger-- 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is the best thing. I mean, I only saw one, but it was so good. I have to go back and look at more.

[–]koondawg 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

did you just make this?

[–]ItsMouh 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm not gonna lie, I expected something like this but I never thought it'd be this funny ahahaha

[–]JStray63 271ポイント272ポイント  (9子コメント)

I go to show my dad this with my phone... He sticks it under a light to see better

[–]sigma_phi_nothing 149ポイント150ポイント  (15子コメント)

I remember I was in the fourth grade at McDill AFB in Tampa Florida. There was a kid who had a chip on his shoulder and I must have seemed like a target to him. He said his dad was 6 foot 10 inches and his dad could do this and his dad could do that, and I told him my dad could too. One day our parents were invited to visit us in the class room. Mitch made it a point to bring his dad over and introduce him. He was a huge man. You could see the smirk on his face when my dad at 5 foot 11 inches looked up at his dad. Then his dad said "Hello Major" and my dad said "Hello Sargent".

[–]blivet 42ポイント43ポイント  (0子コメント)

Perfect illustration of kids' perspective on the world versus adults'.

[–]Hired_Help 20ポイント21ポイント  (1子コメント)

*sergeant

[–]lordeddardstark 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

No that's his real name: Sargent. He's actually Private Sargent

[–]corn_eater 15ポイント16ポイント  (4子コメント)

And then your dad said "get down and give me ten, sargent! "

[–]hoo_dis 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

That majors name? Albert Einstein.

[–]N8theGr8 2086ポイント2087ポイント  (392子コメント)

Violet is kind of a bitch.

Here's the context: http://i.imgur.com/gsXclkI.png

Here's another one: http://i.imgur.com/pXBIVWX.jpg

[–]easyj86 1704ポイント1705ポイント  (175子コメント)

His dad is a barber and his son has hair like that? Good grief.

Edit: since this is getting a bit of attention, I want to share that I was born in Santa Rosa and my mom knew Mr. Schultz. He really was a good man and an upstanding member of the community. I'm happy to see a bit of resurgence in popularity.

[–]dude_smell_my_finger 602ポイント603ポイント  (102子コメント)

Dude. Don't make fun of Cancer Boy.

[–]-Badger2- 542ポイント543ポイント  (66子コメント)

Worst superpower ever.

[–]HBlight 266ポイント267ポイント  (50子コメント)

It's like wolverine with super-regeneration.... except it just won't stop.

[–]bobnelson1939 47ポイント48ポイント  (16子コメント)

I lost my virginity in 1957. The 50s was the best decade ever.

[–]RidinTheMonster 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

No you have it all wrong, Cancer Boy is a super villain, he is feared

[–]Vio_ 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Considering Deadpool is next to John the Baptist on reddit, Cancer Boy is pretty popular.

[–]KapiTod 29ポイント30ポイント  (9子コメント)

I don't know whether to reference Caillou or Mad Max. So I shall attempt to reference both.

"I want to drive the War Rig now Immortan Joe!"

[–]Zurc1st 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

What's Caillou got with it?

[–]MopsyWT 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's ok, my marrow's just low.

[–]Torgo_the_White 61ポイント62ポイント  (23子コメント)

Well he's towheaded, and the hair is so fine that it blends into his skin color, as how Schultz described it.

[–]snap_wilson 43ポイント44ポイント  (3子コメント)

That was one of the running jokes. That Charlie Brown could get free haircuts any time he wanted, but couldn't grow the hair to actually need one.

[–]Atheist_Simon_Haddad 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

In "You're a good sport, Charlie Brown" he wins five free haircuts.

[–]Spacejack_ 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

I always figured he had hair like that BECAUSE his dad was a barber.

[–]WaxFaster 93ポイント94ポイント  (4子コメント)

That second one... Burned 'er deep.

[–]Captain_GRIMHOUND 35ポイント36ポイント  (1子コメント)

She lost part of her soul from that burn. Now she's on a quest to find it, but little does she know it's ash on the wind

[–]TuskedOdin 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

man that shit was haaaarsh

[–]Ayatollah_Bahloni 40ポイント41ポイント  (15子コメント)

Violet is the kind of girl who would grow up to be Luann's Tiffany. It is interesting to note that she, Patty, and Shermy faded into nothingness over time, as they really didn't have any depth or much to contribute.

[–]SarcasticVoyage 42ポイント43ポイント  (6子コメント)

Charlotte Braun was my favorite one-dimensional character. Her whole schtick was she never realized she was a loud talker SO EVERYTHING SHE SAID WAS LIKE THIS.

[–]strugle 18ポイント19ポイント  (5子コメント)

Huh? How did Patty fade into nothingness? She is probably more well known than anybody besides Snoopy, Charlie and Lucy.

[–]blivet 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

Not Peppermint Patty. There was a character who was named just Patty who appeared in the very first strip. She pretty much vanished in the mid-60s. Sometimes after that Schulz would draw her as part of a group, but that's about it.

[–]DrAminove 490ポイント491ポイント  (64子コメント)

Initially, I though the sexism was uncalled for. But now that I read all 24 panels, fuck yeah. You wanna question my Dad's grasp of foreign policy and expect me not to use the gender card.

[–]backtowriting 235ポイント236ポイント  (33子コメント)

So much of Peanuts was about how children bully each-other. It's great.

[–]Semyonov 321ポイント322ポイント  (32子コメント)

Hello I'm a writer for some politicians. Here's how I'm quoting you, is this ok?

In a recent tirade in an online forum called the reddit, user backtowriting [sic] said, "...children bully each-other. It's great."

It remains to be seen if this will affect his chances in the Primaries, but we can only assume the electorate won't be happy.

Please see the private message I sent you for your invoiced bill, and remit payment soon.

[–]Threerecedingdots 127ポイント128ポイント  (20子コメント)

This type of message could be a terrifying template for a novelty account, and a good lesson on how information can be spun.

[–]Semyonov 96ポイント97ポイント  (15子コメント)

I've been thinking about making a Rita-Skeeter-esque novelty for a while now haha

[–]nermid 40ポイント41ポイント  (12子コメント)

I'd upvote you.

[–]Rita-Skeeter 132ポイント133ポイント  (11子コメント)

Done :)

[–]KillAllCisBlueMen 28ポイント29ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm surprised that name wasn't already taken

[–]Rita-Skeeter 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Me too! Had to go through a couple variations first though. I guess yellow journalism isn't quite what it used to be!

[–]gabrielcrim 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is potentially awesome. This is your life now.

[–]KapiTod 74ポイント75ポイント  (12子コメント)

The fact that a mans lack of understanding his countries foreign policy as an actual insult back then is what I find confusing.

Especially since it was so fucking simple; "Don't trust Commies."

[–]MrBullyGoat 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought he just said his dad had a boy because she couldn't argue that her dad had two boys or something like that. Maybe I'm wrong.

[–]platoprime 231ポイント232ポイント  (34子コメント)

I just feel bad for her.

[–][削除されました]  (6子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]Moritsuma 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

    My dad is better at hide and seek than your dad. I haven't seen that guy since I was a kid.

    [–]echisholm 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The posted one would be great for 3eanuts

    [–]OFJehuty 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

    God damn Charlie knows how to bring it.

    [–]anonymous_potato 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Damn... TIL Charlie Brown's dad is a barber. Imagine a guy who's spent a lifetime perfecting a craft that he can never demonstrate on the ones he loves the most because his son is bald.

    [–]RipShtick 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Violet totally wants to visit the CBD if you know what I mean.

    [–]EZ_does_it 1348ポイント1349ポイント  (235子コメント)

    50's - My dad has a better job.

    60's - My dad has a tattoo from the war.

    70's - My dad got us our own TV

    80's - My dad still lives in the same house as me.

    90's - I have a dad.

    00's - My Dad has an iPad.

    10's - I have 2 dads

    [–]theydeletedme 756ポイント757ポイント  (72子コメント)

    2020s - My dads survived the alien brain spores.

    [–]superheavydeathmetal 180ポイント181ポイント  (62子コメント)

    FINALLY! JEEZ! We'll have been living the the future for 19 years before something futuristic happens. What the hell took so long?

    [–]BigBassBone 58ポイント59ポイント  (4子コメント)

    something futuristic happens

    So the supercomputer in your pocket doesn't do anything for ya?

    [–]ShameInTheSaddle 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Maybe if it had more vacuum tubes

    [–]gear9242 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I can literally watch porn almost anywhere.

    The future is a great place.

    [–]cweaver 95ポイント96ポイント  (18子コメント)

    Are you serious? There are drone cameras flying around everywhere. There are self-driving cars on the road. Everyone I know carries around a tiny touchscreen device in their pocket that can wirelessly access a network that contains basically the entirety of human knowledge (and it can make phone calls and video calls).

    [–]Man_of_Many_Voices 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

    It's kind of funny, because you never think to yourself 'we're living in the future!' The present is always the present. Then again, I wonder if in the early 1900s someone boarded an commercial aeroplane and thought to themselves: "Shit, I'm getting in a vehicle that flies! This is the thing of comic books, we're in the future!"

    [–]Jack41096 138ポイント139ポイント  (30子コメント)

    you see, the future isnt the jetsons, but rather elysium.

    we are living in the future. the cyberpunk future.

    uncontrolled corporations sponsoring a technocracy where information becomes the new currency and corruption fills the air in every corner of the country while we try to retain some privacy and individuality.

    [–]Flavahbeast 168ポイント169ポイント  (18子コメント)

    fuck yes, finally

    *shaves hair into green mohawk, puts on shades*

    [–]imanutshell 46ポイント47ポイント  (6子コメント)

    Wanna join my squad and start shadowrunning?

    [–]HearshotAtomDisaster 16ポイント17ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Now you're speaking my language, chummer. I got a run against Renraku lined up from this one elf I know. Seems legit...

    [–]imanutshell 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I dunno, I'm not really a fan of jobbing for elves after that Aztech run in The Smoke...

    [–]HearshotAtomDisaster 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This one is non-Sinsearach, if that helps.

    [–]Wallsie 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Fuckin' A, here I was trying not to give into the itch to play Shadowrun again.

    [–]lukeausj 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Is it any good? I bought it a while ago and haven't played it.

    [–]kino2012 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The tabletop RPG is fantastic, easily my favorite. the Strategy video game on the other hand... I was very disappointed in it. the only one I've played is dragonfall, so they might have gotten better, but i found that the controls are extremely clumsy and unintuitive. I could get around that, but the thing that really put me off it was that it was very hard to tell what exactly you could do, specifically, cover was awkward, and it was hard to tell if you would be in it where you were planning on moving, as was it hard to tell if you would have line of sight on an enemy. I might be talking out of my ass here, but the combat was also weird, in that chance to hit someone seemed rather arbitrary, and a pistol at point blank seems to have the same accuracy rating as it does from the next zip code.

    TL;DR: Love the tabletop rpg, do recommend strongly, disliked clunky video game controls, do not recommend.

    [–]Yeah_Youre_Not 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

    He posts to a completely digital communications network that lets people from everywhere in the world see his comment, possibly from his phone, which has the ability to be a communicator, a gaming system, a web browser, a notebook, and a myriad of other things.

    Also self-driving cars, laser weapons tested by the US Navy, and FUCKING ROBOTS.

    But no I guess we need aliens to please this guy.

    [–]Lurking_Grue 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

    2030s - 1001111011010111110101010110101000101010101001010101.

    [–]mybustersword 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

    That's only if man is still alive... if woman has survived

    [–]Chispy 250ポイント251ポイント  (15子コメント)

    20's - I have legal weed smoking dad

    30's - My dad has a self driving RV.

    40's - I have an AI augmented cyborg dad

    50's - I am consciously melded with my dad, you and the rest of humanity and our God AI in the 5th dimension.

    60's - My dad was bored of infinite euphoria and now lives in the forest contemplating existence.

    [–]NIQuribe 84ポイント85ポイント  (6子コメント)

    XX- I have no need to compare dads with each other because we are one with the universe and we live tune with the universe

    [–]4a4a 59ポイント60ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Whoa! This is accurate for me from the 70s on.

    70s: we got our first TV when I was a little kid

    80s: My dad indeed lived in the same house as me

    90s: I did still have a Dad, although he moved out

    00s: Yes, he had a few iDevices

    10: My Mom is remarried, so regular dad and step dad

    [–]bge 15ポイント16ポイント  (2子コメント)

    The first iPad wasn't released until 2010. Also nearly every US household had a TV by the late 50s / early 60s. Just sayin.

    [–]linesreadlines 93ポイント94ポイント  (75子コメント)

    [–]jekyl42 51ポイント52ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Jimmy Fallon gets a late night talk show and sexy time with fembots?

    [–]projectjerichox 35ポイント36ポイント  (16子コメント)

    I was like oh great a couple photo (I was thinking straight couple) and I was like oh shit that's not a guy.

    [–]Z0di 49ポイント50ポイント  (12子コメント)

    Well, fuck me. I'm SO SORRY that I thought a person dressed in men's clothing with a man's hairstyle was a man.

    [–]sue_poftheday 12ポイント13ポイント  (6子コメント)

    I don't get it. "I'm attracted to women that dress like men and look like men. But aren't men. I like vaginas. But only when they're under men's clothing. Get it? It's feminism."

    [–]Poemi 444ポイント445ポイント  (23子コメント)

    Yeah. A son who can't kick a damn football.

    [–]whos_high_pitch 357ポイント358ポイント  (22子コメント)

    he would if that bitch would stop moving it

    [–]cpqarray 204ポイント205ポイント  (18子コメント)

    That's why this was so satisfying.

    [–]baktun 53ポイント54ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Omg i finally understand that Malcolm in the Middle gag where he asks Reese "You've never read Peanuts?!?" and proceeds to pull the football prank on him. That one boggled me for YEARS!

    [–]AvocadoIsAFruit 42ポイント43ポイント  (2子コメント)

    That joke is a classic! Did you never read Peanuts either?!

    [–]Tsquared10 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

    And the bitch still messed it up. Rule one

    [–]WiretapStudios 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Laces out, ARRRGH

    [–]THANKS-FOR-THE-GOLD 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held that ball laces out like he was supposed to, Ray would've never missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

    Would you like a cookie son?

    [–]RarelyReadReplies 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    He should just kick her in the face already, that'll show her.

    [–]liquidhordes 62ポイント63ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Note: Violet had an older brother who never came back from the Korean war.

    Burrrrrrrn

    [–]GetsGold 44ポイント45ポイント  (26子コメント)

    This reminds me of the Garfield where Nermal is annoying and Garfield was mean to him cause I used to think Nermal was a girl.

    [–]SarcasticVoyage 65ポイント66ポイント  (19子コメント)

    Nermal wasn't a girl?!

    [–]internetlad 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

    Nermal was a male, yeah. Was supposed to be an immature younger cat to set up Garfield's mood swings

    [–]mrshatnertoyou 160ポイント161ポイント  (52子コメント)

    Here's Schultz's quote about Violet which is pretty funny.

    Some characters just don't seem to have enough personality to carry out ideas," he said, referring to Violet, Patty, and Shermy. "They're just almost born straight men."

    [–]heyitscory 414ポイント415ポイント  (47子コメント)

    To clarify, this is "straight men" referring to the non-whacky guy who sets up the joke for the comedian (like Dean Martin for Jerry Lewis, or Simon Pegg to Nick Frost), and not a heterosexual adult male.

    [–]Vio_ 33ポイント34ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Then you have Bob Newhart, who is considered his own straightman.

    [–]fruxzak 27ポイント28ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Funny man vs Straight man is the classic comedy duo.

    Ever since Laurel and Hardy.

    [–]heyitscory 34ポイント35ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Pinky and The Brain!

    "Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?"

    "I think so Brain, but if they called them 'Sad Meals' I don't think kids would buy them."

    [–]holographene 198ポイント199ポイント  (23子コメント)

    It's quite an indictment of this place that you're probably right that this needs to be explained.

    [–]Derkek 38ポイント39ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I don't think I would have known straight men were those who set up jokes.

    Also, indictment.

    [–]bruzie 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

    "Is your wife a...bit of a goer, eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, say no more."

    "She sometimes goes, yes. She's from Purley."

    Terry Jones playing the ultimate straight man.

    [–][削除されました]  (5子コメント)

    [deleted]

      [–]MetaFlight 70ポイント71ポイント  (32子コメント)

      Meanwhile in the 10's, we're hyper aware to the sexism and blind to the classism.

      [–]Taffer 48ポイント49ポイント  (8子コメント)

      oh god we are calling them the 10's now. I kinda miss people not knowing what the hell to call the 00's

      Can't wait till the 20's!

      [–]skaschmidt 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Good grief.

      [–]RickSHAW_Tom 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

      Doesn't she have 2 brothers?

      Edit: I thought that was Lucy. My b.

      [–]PM_ME_YER_FACE 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I don't think she does. Maybe you're thinking of Lucy. They always looked similar to me when I was a youngin, but Violet tends to wear her hair in a ponytail.