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[Serious] Hotties of Reddit, when did you discover that you were hot and how did it affect your personality?serious replies only (self.AskReddit)

poopypants6789 が 投稿

When did you realize that you were hot? Did you have any sort of reaction to it (or to its side-effects) that changed your behavior or personality either temporarily or permanently? What misconceptions do you think other people have about you?

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[–]DeeJayFresh 2668ポイント2669ポイント  (849子コメント)

Honestly , it's weird.

As a guy who has gone from extremely skinny to really fit twice in 3 years I can tell you It gets uncomfortable. Mainly because the second time around you realize how shallow people are. Little things like acquiring help are easier when you're attractive, but making friends as an attractive guy is probably one of the most belittling things you can experience. .. People just assume you're a douche bag. ... End result.. you become a bitter douche bag.

[–]pm-me-weird-stuff 1310ポイント1311ポイント  (610子コメント)

Mainly because the second time around you realize how shallow people are. Little things like acquiring help are easier when you're attractive

I lost 140 pounds a few years back and became a thin and alright-looking guy, and I hate how almost everybody I meet is so much more friendly and accommodating. The difference is not subtle, it's like night and day. I know that sounds like something that should be enjoyable, but it just makes me feel like everybody is fucking shallow and fake. It's really shaken my trust in other people.

The whole experience has driven me even further into the arms of the internet, because at least here I can be sure that if somebody likes me or hates me it's got nothing to do with my appearance either way.

[–]Shamscam 571ポイント572ポイント  (198子コメント)

I lost 50 pounds before and started a new job and everyone talked to me and I didn't really think anything of it. But I recently gained most of it back and started a new job again and almost no one will talk to me anymore. I plan on starting up weight loss again this Monday.

[–]Limond 784ポイント785ポイント  (144子コメント)

Today is better than Monday!

[–]RiotDesign 823ポイント824ポイント  (55子コメント)

Yesterday, you said tomorrow.

[–]crazypanda01 365ポイント366ポイント  (21子コメント)

Just do it!!!

[–]Zooloph 163ポイント164ポイント  (4子コメント)

He probably said Monday yesterday too.

[–]pull_my_finger_AGAIN 24ポイント25ポイント  (2子コメント)

Just DO it!

[–]DredPRoberts 18ポイント19ポイント  (3子コメント)

Today is just yesterday's tomorrow.

[–]Sssgth 27ポイント28ポイント  (3子コメント)

Something something be dreams

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    [–]wazzledudes 48ポイント49ポイント  (10子コメント)

    "I'll call today."

    YOU'LL CALL NOW.

    [–]PM_YOUR_FEELINGS 67ポイント68ポイント  (60子コメント)

    I'm starting on monday too

    I am NOT missing a burger night I've planned with my friend who I didn't see for 8 months. Although I don't have to lose a great amount... 15 pounds would be nice

    [–]Limond 94ポイント95ポイント  (31子コメント)

    It is possible to eat the food you want and still lose fat. Moderation is the key.

    [–]PM_YOUR_FEELINGS 254ポイント255ポイント  (27子コメント)

    yes, but it is burger day

    there is no moderation

    edit: I do appreciate all the dietary advice but its not needed. Don't need to lose weight, just want to lose a bit and I just need to get my ass to be more active as I have a sitting lifestyle with a job that puts me behind a monitor for 8 hours too.

    Also burger day happens extremely rarely and I do skip fries ;)

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      [–]t-ara-fan 15ポイント16ポイント  (4子コメント)

      Skip the fries.

      [–]vmlinux 77ポイント78ポイント  (21子コメント)

      Easy way to lose weight. Order whatever you want and normally eat except drink water. Then when your gigantic double meat double cheese jalapeno bacon, avacado laden, egg on top burger with garlic fries gets to your table ask the waiter for a to go plate. Then cut the burger in half, start eating. When the waiter comes back with your to go box, put half of the burger in the box, and half your fries.

      You get 2 meals instead of one, and you lose weight. This diet has always worked for me, and was recommended to a very obese friend by a heart surgeon as a surefire diet that anyone can follow easily.

      [–]Minus-Celsius [スコア非表示]  (8子コメント)

      Oh shit. I already only order water and I am overweight. Also poor.

      [–]Dustmoss [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

      If you cut it in half, that's half the calories. That means you can eat twice as much!

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              [–]BScatterplot 231ポイント232ポイント  (126子コメント)

              Move to the South. Everyone's nice here, even to fat people, because heck most of us ARE fat people.

              [–]fupadestroyer45 186ポイント187ポイント  (115子コメント)

              Just don't be black

              [–]It-just-is [スコア非表示]  (13子コメント)

              I'm from the South (I'm white) and one of my black co-workers said, "In the North you can move high but not get close, In the South you can get close but not move high."

              [–]tjciv 81ポイント82ポイント  (33子コメント)

              That's funny considering we have more black folks here than the rest of the country and the friends I have say they were treated much worse by people up north.

              [–]PunnyBanana [スコア非表示]  (9子コメント)

              People up north treat everyone worse. It's cold up here. We have to save our energy on getting inside and keeping warm. We don't have time or energy to waste on being nice for no reason.

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                    [–]Reverent 338ポイント339ポイント  (42子コメント)

                    It's a hard truth that people like to gloss over, physical attractiveness is important.

                    We all grow up being told that we are special little snowflake and it's what is on the inside that counts. But that isn't true. Your interactions with society are extremely based on your presentation. If you are overweight or ugly, you are already on tilt.

                    The problem is that people give huge weight to first impressions. We all do. If you don't, you're a liar, you do it too even if it is subconscious. It doesn't take much, it's initial impression, how they greet you, how they look, is their handshake sweaty, do they have a weird way of speaking. It is entirely possible to overcome this, but when you don't make a celebrity grade first impression, you are fighting an uphill battle. More importantly, we all do it, we shouldn't look down on people because it happens.

                    So yes, it's true. Handsome and beautiful people get the world handed to them. They will get the jobs they aren't really qualified for, they will get the opportunities denied to people better suited to those goals, they will get the fame, they will get the fortune.

                    Here's the real truth though, that people should actually teach their kids. Sometimes in life you get handed a shit sandwich. You can chomp on that shit sandwich and pretend like it is an extra crispy BLT, and most people do just that. Or you can look at that shit sandwich, and decide that you're gonna save up your change and buy a real sandwich. Some of us are born ugly, some of us gain weight easily, some of us aren't very smart. Society likes to ignore this.

                    The correct answer isn't to ignore this. The correct answer is to accept this as a fact, and work harder to overcome it. It is possible. You can get fit, even if it is harder for you then the people around you. You can work on your social skills, to overcome your bad impression with a resounding character. You can even try to fix your appearance, whether that is plastic surgery or makeup or dressing up.

                    At the end of the day, getting where you want to be begins with accepting where you are. Once you accept that, and the ugly truths that go with it, you can set your life on the path to overcome these obstacles. The most important truth, beyond all these ugly truths, is there always is a way forward. You just need to find it.

                    [–]voteforabetterpotato [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                    The correct answer is to accept this as a fact, and work harder to overcome it.

                    Well said.

                    The sooner we realise we are flawed humans and there are some aspects of basic human nature that we simply can't change, the sooner we can identify and work around those things.

                    [–]tardisnottardy [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

                    I'm in the middle of a nasty pleateau in my weight loss. Im down 20 lbs, but still have 40 more to go. Everything in my life is centered around weight loss, it's all I ever think about. Pictures of me are shameful. Eating has become a chore, although I still have problems wolfing down way more than necessary. Depression, anxiety and daily stressors are making me weary and tired. It is so easy to give up right now. Last week on vacation, I basically did.

                    I'm trying to get back on track, but it feels like I will never reach my goal. I will always be that "fat girl on a diet" who stays the same weight, or teeters in between the same 20 lb weight range. I'm trying really, really hard to push through this, and it's not really working.

                    Your post had so many great points. So many bits of insight that helped perk me up and gave me a little bit of just what I needed. Thank you for giving that hope.

                    [–]Abasaken [スコア非表示]  (12子コメント)

                    I feel like what your saying here is so true except that you can be born stupid and change that with effort. You can gain weight easy and keep it off. You can't be born ugly and put effort and time in and then poof beautiful. You can do that with almost anything else though.

                    [–]Reverent [スコア非表示]  (6子コメント)

                    There will always be flaws that you cannot circumvent. Lack of smarts, or a learning disability, is definitely high among them. It doesn't create an insurmountable problem.

                    Sometimes, the best you can hope for, is to compensate a flaw with a strength. So yes, a person might not be very smart, my partner for example has a fairly severe learning disability. She struggles with even basic math, and has a fairly severe case of dyslexia. It doesn't mean she is a lost cause, in fact I love her deeply and hope to spend the rest of my life with her.

                    She is a compassionate person beyond anything I hope to be. She empathizes with people I find loathsome, she keeps an unbreakable good faith, she makes every day I am on this planet something to be treasured. She also has many flaws and some of them can't be fixed. But she compensates by being one of the most influential and compassionate human beings in my life. She has managed to overcome her flaws with her unshakable character, and so can others.

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                      [–]00mpa [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                      In all seriousness, this reminds me a lot of the talk that Tyrion Lannister has with Jon Snow about being bastards and imps. It's not nice, it's not necessarily sugarcoating things, but it's honest and perhaps the most helpful thing that can be said.

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                        [–]PaperLuigi3 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        FUCK YOU MAN

                        I'm just kidding. I know the feeling. I get a little chubby every winter and then I do marathons in the summer. People don't treat me too differently between the seasons, but I definitely see a difference in body language when talking to people of different sizes.

                        [–]imjustbuzzed 235ポイント236ポイント  (58子コメント)

                        People who are way out of shape can sometimes be thought of as having no respect for themselves, being unmotivated and unhappy. Some people don't want to hang out with that kind of person.

                        [–]HyruleInAustin 64ポイント65ポイント  (47子コメント)

                        Same. I went from 300 to an ab-showing 180 and the world flipped. My personality was the same. My intelligence didn't alter. But I looked a bit better. And people went bananas. When I went to get my motorcycle license, the lady and the DMV let me skip the line. Women openly and unashamedly flirted with me.

                        Edit: added "n" to "a" to make "an"

                        [–]xnifex 8ポイント9ポイント  (27子コメント)

                        Wow that's a lot of weight loss. How did you do it?

                        [–]HyruleInAustin [スコア非表示]  (15子コメント)

                        I do not mean this answer to be fippant, but I ate less and exercised more.

                        To do so, I went full obsession. I wrote down every single thing I ate. I kept it at about 1500kcal a day (I am six feet tall, male and have a medium to large frame, so that is a solid caloric deficit). I cut out alcohol and 90% of processed foods (things like tortillas and other convenience items I retained.)

                        I started running. Well, honestly, I literally was not able to walk an entire mile when I started. So I started by walking up one flight of stairs and called it a day. The next day, I went up two. The next three. I incrementally added distance and effort. Then moved to walking. Then added short jogs. Etc. I did my running on trails and through the woods to keep my mind off of how difficult it was and focused on how pretty the things around me were.

                        I also lifted.

                        Lost the weight in under a year.

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                          [–]Dhalphir [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

                          Women openly and unashamedly flirted with me.

                          Would it have been more appropriate to do it ashamedly?

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                            [–]sludgecaked 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

                            Yeah, on the internet we hate everyone indiscriminately!

                            [–]darktree27 [スコア非表示]  (16子コメント)

                            As a girl who used to be real fat and then lost a ton of weight, I can agree. People are shallow. You see people that would never give you the time of day before, but now suddenly they are giving you attention. It has made me skeptical of everyone.

                            I guess naturally thin and beautiful people someone who has never been fat or ugly must think that everyone is just super nice all the time.

                            [–]CriticalValue196 51ポイント52ポイント  (9子コメント)

                            I lost 30lbs while living in Japan, but since I was still huge by Japanese standards (5'9", 185lbs) the treatment never changed. I didn't notice any difference until I came home for a holiday and actually had a guy hitting on me at a party (for the first time in my life) despite the fact that I wasn't exactly tiny by American standards. It was still a pretty big change that I was insulated from while I lived in Japan.

                            [–]Ungreat [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

                            I was watching a travelogue video with someone talking about cultural differences between western countries and Japan. He said one difference is how blunt the Japanese can be if you have gained weight, not necessarily out of rudeness just different attitudes and standards.

                            He was talking about going back to the UK for a few weeks, eating badly and drinking beer, and when he met his friend back in Japan the first thing she said was 'Oh no, you big face now!'.

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                              [–]pm_me_pokemon_pics [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                              I experienced this same thing, my friends told me it was just my imagination but it really isn't. I'm a 24 year old female and I started at 305 lbs and was a size 28. I'm currently 210 lbs and a size 14. So I'm still a bit chubby, but it's a big difference and I'm pretty solidly built so I carry it well.

                              When I was fat I felt pretty much invisible. Nobody went out of their way to talk to me and if they did it usually wasn't nice. For example some drunk guy bumped into me at a bar and told me "watch where you're going fatty". I was standing still. Usually people weren't outright mean like that, but no one was ever nice either.

                              Now people go out of their way to talk to me. Strangers say hi while I'm walking down the street. Guys go out of their way to hold the door open for me. Girls compliment me on my hair and makeup. People at stores always ask me if I need any help.

                              It is really fucking strange. At first I was offended because I'm the same person I always was, just thinner and healthier. But I guess it's just nice to not be seen as a social pariah so I'll take it.

                              [–]AllOrNothingMostly 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              But now I know you are fit and you seem pretty cool! Lemme know if you want to borrow something or do fun attractive people shenanigans with me

                              [–]SulliedBeast 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              I think this has merit. People who are attractive get more positive social experiences. However, transformed people probably carried themselves differently post change. I know iI did. I was happier with myself and in general being less self conscious was noticed by people who were already my friends.

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                                [–]randomnickname99 214ポイント215ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                I never noticed but I always do kind of stereotype good looking guys as douches...

                                [–]DeeJayFresh 121ポイント122ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                Which sucks cause you never know where people come from. In my case I went through highschool getting picked on and being a nobody. I was the pot dealer? I grew up cleaned up and now I'm a bit of a local celebrity (radio host) but people treat me like some sort of predetermined thing. I honestly have given up on being accepted for who I am. I'm a straight white male. People just don't care.

                                [–]CarpetFibers [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

                                I was the pot dealer?

                                I was Ron Burgundy?

                                [–]cerberus6320 44ポイント45ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                If you "look the part" the audience will damn sure try to cast you for it too.

                                [–]kewriosity 29ポイント30ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                Your origin story sounds like some kind of streetwise Frasier. I would watch that.

                                [–]OortClouds 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                Throw in comedy feuds and you describe marons show on fx

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                                    [–]InsrtBooze_EnjoyShow 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                    IME smiling more often helps alleviate this. Of course you can't smile 24/7 but being cognizant of its impact can go a long way.

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                                      [–]shadowboxer27 72ポイント73ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                      A lot of girls I met in highschool even confirmed, "i just figured you were a typical douche, but hot"

                                      [–]Djeter998 47ポイント48ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                      As a lady, I can tell you that whenever I see a REALLY hot guy, my reflex train of thought is that he's either a total douche or taken. I feel like a jerk for thinking that, and I don't judge people though.

                                      [–]chaosenhanced [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

                                      As a guy, sometimes I feel the exact same about hot women. What's funny is that when you treat a hot woman like a normal human being, that's what makes you stand out to them.

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                                        [–]apopheniac1989 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        When I lost weight, I noticed people being more polite to me and spontaneously talking to me more. Not just women, everyone.

                                        [–]TrandaBear 33ポイント34ポイント  (10子コメント)

                                        Yeah... I'm not even hot and I can identify with this. Started working out in college, drop 60lbs, and got buff. All of a sudden girls started talking to me and smiling at me. It was like "Where the fuck did you come from?" You do end up mildy bitter.

                                        [–]BamBam-BamBam [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

                                        Why? Because they should be able to see your stunning personality from across the room? Initial attraction is all looks. It's the initial spark, personality is the kindling.
                                        EDIT: ... And I guess that the wood is the wood.

                                        [–]dylansavage [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                        Completely agree with you, why would this make people feel bitter?

                                        Attractive literally means you attract more people.

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                                            [–]iqtestforhiring 34ポイント35ポイント  (35子コメント)

                                            Same. I bet you're even nicer to fat people now, though, right? I go out of my way to be nice to fat people cuz I know they are shunned.

                                            [–]Crockinator 148ポイント149ポイント  (33子コメント)

                                            Guess I'm an asshole, but after I lost 75 lbs, I started judging fat people... well those that complains about their size and try any miracle diet. I view them as lazy, and unable to fight for something that is dear to them.

                                            They ask me how I did it. I tell them "I moved more and ate less". "Oh it's too troublesome, but my friend told me about this grapefruit diet where I can eat what I want".

                                            God dammit.

                                            [–]ShermHerm 69ポイント70ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                            For me, I have a ton of sympathy for fat people and am friends with many. But I get fucking infuriated when I see that the only thing they do about their weight problems is complain about them. Fat people who I see jogging and huffing and puffing and working super hard I have mad respect for.

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                                                  [–]bat-tail 670ポイント671ポイント  (36子コメント)

                                                  You know how hot people talk about "attractive people things" happening to them? Yeah, for me, it was just normal, and it wasn't until recently I realized my friends didn't get the same treatment.

                                                  People compliment me. Family friends and relatives will comment to my parents on how beautifully I've grown up. I always thought they were just being polite until I realized they would never say the same thing about my sisters.

                                                  Random people talk to me. Not to hit on me or anything, I mean like housewives at the supermarket and construction workers on the side of the road. They compliment my clothes, or just say friendly conversational things. I thought this was because I lived in a friendly neighborhood or something, but it happens when I go on vacation too. I guess my looks make me look approachable? I'm not too sure. I thought this was normal too, until my friends pointed out I got approached a lot more strangers compared to them.

                                                  I don't go to bars or large social gatherings because I am pretty introverted but on the rare occasion that I do attend a party where I don't really know people, guys will introduce themselves while ignoring my friends. When I hang out with groups I am not particularly familiar with, the guys try to get to know me and talk to me a lot. I usually socialize with a small circle of people I've known since childhood, so being flirted with is a pretty new experience and I still don't know how to handle it gracefully.

                                                  How did it affect my personality? Well, even if I'm attractive to other people, I'm not particularly attractive to myself so it's not as satisfying as you'd think it is. It's flattering sometimes but it makes me uncomfortable when guys ignore my friends or the other girls to direct their attention to me. The kind of guys you attract only with good looks are not the kind of guys I am interested in. When you talk to them they just drink in the sound of your voice, or look at the expression on your face while not really listening to the words or the meaning behind them. They know your favourite food and movies and songs and books but they don't really care why you like them. All the guys who have approached me solely because they thought I was cute turned out to not really give a shit about me past my looks and it's made me really wary and suspicious. I'm not saying attraction doesn't matter, but if my face is the only thing they are interested in, interacting with them will not be very enjoyable.

                                                  [–]Drict [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

                                                  I have always been interested in root causes and what brings people's attention to things that they like.

                                                  It is EXTREMELY hard to dig for the cause and effect model with the average person. They usually don't know, don't want to share, don't trust you enough with why, can't put it into words, or don't give the interaction enough time to really give the conversation the chance to get there.

                                                  Always a bonus if the person is attractive, but that is never the end all be all of why I talk to an individual.

                                                  [–]fulldicknohalfdick [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                  they aren't trying to get to know you. they're trying to sleep with you

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                                                    [–]inconvenient_cow 1341ポイント1342ポイント  (167子コメント)

                                                    I have ugly duck syndrome.

                                                    I went through a horribly awkward preteen/early teen stage years- I was chubby, had a horrible haircut, was nerdy and socially awkward.

                                                    I grew a few inches in my later teen years and started working out, ended up losing lots of weight. I developped better social skills from being in theater and having to deal with awkardness all the time (drama kids ftw!).

                                                    I guess I started seeing a difference when I would drunkenly get asked out by guys all the time, or when strangers would compliment me. I didn't see a huge shift in personality- except maybe that I find myself irritating. I still have huge self esteem issues, except that if I complain about a part of myself I don't like, it comes off as 'fishing for compliments'- when really I actually do still see myself as an awkward 13 year old.

                                                    The other thing I've noticed is that I'm super distrustful of guys, because, as cheesy as it sounds, I don't know if guys like me for my personality or my ass. I mean, I'd love it if a guy was into me for both, but it fucks with my head a lot when someone is really into me but I can tell they've built me up in their heads to be something as not.

                                                    Anyways, now I feel like a narcissist so I'll just stop here. Hope that answered your question!

                                                    [–]GentlemanJoe 585ポイント586ポイント  (68子コメント)

                                                    I think this is the first post I've seen that's almost totally ambiguous; you could either be a straight woman or a gay man.

                                                    (If you're not the latter, maybe an actual gay man could chip in and say whether it reads the same to him as to me.)

                                                    I think many people still see themselves as awkward 13 year olds.

                                                    [–]kspacey [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

                                                    Nah, the 'distrustful of guys bit' gives away that it's a woman. If you're a gay guy you already know how shallow most of us guys are and distrust doesn't factor into it at all.

                                                    [–]pogtheawesome 198ポイント199ポイント  (48子コメント)

                                                    Fishing for attention

                                                    When do guys ever get accused of that?

                                                    edit: I stand corrected

                                                    [–]meinbereich 98ポイント99ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                    In the gay community, you do. Numerous instances of perfectly healthy gym bods complaining they're 'fat'. And bam! Comments are fans telling them they're hot and whatever.

                                                    [–]TheMightySwami 288ポイント289ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                    When they're gay.

                                                    [–]seriouslydh 57ポイント58ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                    As a straight man with a bunch of gay friends. Alllll the time.

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                                                      [–]dl064 36ポイント37ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                      I don't know if guys like me for my personality or my ass

                                                      but then:

                                                      drama kids ftw!

                                                      ...Bit gender ambiguous now.

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                                                        [–]SillyLittleNarwhal 66ポイント67ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                        Fellow ugly duckling here. I get feeling suspicious. I still feel so ugly. I look at pictures of myself and it doesn't look the way I feel inside. I was overweight, had bad acne, and was not very high on the social ladder in school. I lost the weight, meds took care of my acne, and suddenly hot guys were talking to me. The awkwardness of my personality didn't match my looks at all, and it freaked them out. In my early twenties I guess my social skills developed through uni and friends, and I can now handle talking to hot guys without sounding like some kind of 3rd rock alien. BUT I have a hard time giving them the benefit of the doubt. I have a hard time not judging hot people as shallow sports idiots. And I try to let on how much of a nerd I am early on in conversation.. like I'll talk about star trek or something, and then gauge how much that weirds them out. I figure the quicker someone finds out the real "me" (ie the 13yr old who read the Animorphs series alone in her room while everyone else went to somebody's birthday party), the faster they get a chance to withdraw from the aquaintance.

                                                        TL;DR: I screen people by being honest and awkward. I can't help who I am and it saves everyone a whole lot of time.

                                                        [–]jencupcake 135ポイント136ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                        For me I grew my hair out from a terrible bob haircut, embraced that I have some curves and got contacts. All of a sudden it was like people actually looked at me. I couldn't actually believe guys were interested in me. It was a mixture of being excited and embarrassed. I wasn't used to it so I thought that maybe now I was viewed as dumb. I've always been a bit air headed in a way, I think about too much at once and it all spills out. It's never a "holy cow you're stupid" kinda way. But I felt I would get talked down to a bit more once I turned into the butterfly me.

                                                        Overall it's fantastic. That may sound conceded, but I really don't care. It gave me so much confidence. I talk to anyone now with ease. I can do presentations. I will voice my opinion. I also learned that I love makeup and it's become a wonderful hobby of mine. Realizing at around 18 that I was cute or whatever helped me from being so painfully shy and embarrassed by anything I did, to someone who stands tall, will chat your ear off and isn't afraid to stick up for herself. It made me a happier person with the confidence I got.

                                                        [–]Pornonation 338ポイント339ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                        conceded

                                                        It's Conceited you airhead

                                                        [–]Zniped 16ポイント17ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        This is an important lesson on how critical it is you present yourself well.

                                                        [–]InquisitaB 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                        So you literally were the girl with glasses who suddenly was attractive once she took them off. Although I guess you didn't wear your hair in a ponytail.

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                                                          [–]LadyLandshark 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                          Same thing happened to me, I was a very ugly middle schooler, but started looking more normal in high school. I still remember the first time a guy actually flirted with me, because I was so in shock that a guy could actually like me.

                                                          [–]comic_serif 19ポイント20ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                          Ugly Duck Syndrome is the best description I've heard. You're pretty much the gender-swapped version of me.

                                                          I still have major self esteem issues but apparently, according to my friends, I got a lot more confident in my social skills and got in shape since high school.

                                                          I'm still not used to that kind of attention. In my entire life I have never considered myself as an object of physical attraction and it's still rather uncomfortable to me to get hit on by people.

                                                          [–]wildmetacirclejerk 27ポイント28ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                          The building someone up in ones head thing is true of both genders though.

                                                          However I will concede that unless a man has a lot of experience with women, it takes a number of years for them to really take off the rose tinted goggles and just be real for a Goddamn minute and see you as who you are, not as some perfect woman who can do no wrong because her ass is cute.

                                                          I freely admit I'm still in the rose tinted glasses phase, but am just knowledgeable enough to realise I'm in the rose tinted glasses phase, which helps a lot. I have to go against my own inner thoughts and feelings because I know they're built up from a wild imagination of future projection, rather than seeing the person as they are.

                                                          I liken it to knowing you always bowl to the right, so you move position off center left to compensate so you get the strike.

                                                          Sure it's better to learn how to bowl straight, but second best is positioning your weaknesses in such a way that they don't affect your strengths

                                                          [–]tughdffvdlfhegl 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                          I'm a guy, but most of this applies to me almost perfectly. I was a skinny, awkward, not great looking kid. I grew up into a pretty good looking guy, but self confidence takes a much, much longer time to follow. I'm still waiting for most of it, even if I am really good at faking it nowadays.

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                                                            [–]ladygerard 560ポイント561ポイント  (90子コメント)

                                                            I went through some seriously ugly years in school (like enough to break mirrors and strike fear into the hearts of those who looked upon me), so when I lost weight, grew my hair out, and started wearing more flattering clothes and contact lenses, I was really taken aback by the attention I got. Went from forever alone super virgin to actually having compliments and random customers/other students flirting. I actually like getting cat called, I was always self conscious about my looks so actually getting attention still boosts my confidence because I never expect it.

                                                            Then again, I have massive tits so that's probably the only reason. At least my boyfriend thinks I'm hot...

                                                            [–]Zniped 283ポイント284ポイント  (48子コメント)

                                                            Ex heavy girls who keep their tits get an insane amount of attention, but hey why shouldn't they?

                                                            [–]ladygerard 98ポイント99ポイント  (43子コメント)

                                                            I've been quite lucky in that I've always had massive tits, I used to be small and gawky, then was fat and spotty, and now I've kind of balanced out but my tits have always remained the same size, madness!

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                                                              [–]wolfstickers 111ポイント112ポイント  (10子コメント)

                                                              Then again I have massive tits

                                                              That helps for sure

                                                              [–]Chevey0 [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

                                                              youve ernt those tits rockum!

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                                                                [–]ghost_in_the_potato 893ポイント894ポイント  (224子コメント)

                                                                People always used to tell me I was pretty and that I should be a model and whatnot, and I always figured it was bull because I never cared about my appearance until around college.

                                                                In college though, I did start to try to make myself look nice, and it was actually really horrible what happened afterward. Literally four of my closest guy friends who I had been really close with came out and said they had always had crushes on me, and although I tried to let them down in the nicest way possible those relationships just aren't the same. I feel really guarded around them now.

                                                                I also just started feeling really objectified and it made me think about a lot of stuff--like, I always question if guys are talking to me because they're actually interested in me, or if they just think I'm hot. And I think being valued so much for your appearance is really damaging psychologically too. I never felt this way before but now suddenly I'm really worried about how people will treat me when I get older and am not longer hot and young. It's really depressing, honestly. Ignorance is bliss.

                                                                [–]Ghost_in_TheMachine 554ポイント555ポイント  (27子コメント)

                                                                So how is it being in a potato

                                                                [–]ghost_in_the_potato 439ポイント440ポイント  (24子コメント)

                                                                It's pretty sweet. I can't see from inside very well though--just low quality images that look like they were recorded with...oh wait

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                                                                  [–]GroundhogLiberator 16ポイント17ポイント  (14子コメント)

                                                                  Do you think that many of your guy friends who would jump at the chance to date you?

                                                                  [–]ghost_in_the_potato 30ポイント31ポイント  (13子コメント)

                                                                  At that time, it certainly seemed like it because it really was one after another. I almost got scared of showing any affection to my male friends.

                                                                  Now I'm a lot more guarded around guys, or I go totally the opposite direction and act like a complete bro around them almost subconsciously as if to get this message across. So now I don't think it's a huge issue in that respect.

                                                                  [–]blahgblahblahhhhh [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                  I thought it was common knowledge that in friendship between girl/boy, even if the girl is a little bit pretty the boy will admittedly bang girl.

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                                                                    [–]woofybluelove 182ポイント183ポイント  (90子コメント)

                                                                    Yes! I have to be very careful around newer guy friends, because if I act naturally (playful, competitive), they start crushing on me. So I'm usually really reserved and quiet and guys.

                                                                    [–]OutcastedKilljoy 138ポイント139ポイント  (35子コメント)

                                                                    Ugh this exactly. I love making friends and am super playful with people but I have to act so reserved around guys I've just met because it just devolves into them thinking I want their dick. I've gotten yelled at for leading people on and it's just like ): I act this way with all my friends.

                                                                    [–]regular_author [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

                                                                    As a guy who has done the "think girl is into me but really shes just being a playful friend" thing many times I can tell you it sucks. What I can also tell you is it hasn't happened once since I stopped being a shithead and learned to like myself. So I would say that it's their problem. If they were really into you in a healthy way, you would know from the beginning.

                                                                    [–]SurlyRed 50ポイント51ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                    This sounds like a them problem, you should be true to yourself and bugger the consequences.

                                                                    [–]OutcastedKilljoy 53ポイント54ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                    I would rather avoid getting more people angry at me. It sucks but I don't find it that huge of a problem for myself. Thank you though :)

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                                                                        [–]my_name_is_X 20ポイント21ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                        Would you expect attractive guys to treat you the same? Just curious

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                                                                          [–]xkisses 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          I've actually had more than a couple of my close guy friends tell me they couldn't be friends anymore because their SO said so.

                                                                          FWIW, I'm 36 now and have gained weight, and In the past two years I've totally experienced what it's like to become invisible. It's really jarring, yet somehow cathartic. I found this article really interesting, you might as well: http://lithub.com/the-insults-of-age/

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                                                                            [–]Lewis_Killjoy 518ポイント519ポイント  (70子コメント)

                                                                            About two years ago is when I found out, it was after a few months of girls latching onto my side that I realised that those girls weren't cuddling me because I was warm. I had always just assumed they were cold.

                                                                            Personality wise not much happened aside from me teasing them a bit when started hugging me.

                                                                            [–]wildmetacirclejerk 253ポイント254ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                            That's hilarious but I can see how that process ran out in your head.

                                                                            Guys have a habit of being dense because the costs of us guessing wrong are severe

                                                                            [–]Noohandle [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                            Very true. I'm paralyzed by this, basically

                                                                            [–]pandizlle [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                            Not as bad as being gay and guessing wrong. That's a punch to the face sometimes.

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                                                                              [–]willjsm 539ポイント540ポイント  (46子コメント)

                                                                              seriously? for months you just thought they were all cold? wtf?!

                                                                              [–]RiotDesign 1367ポイント1368ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                              He realized he was hot, not smart.

                                                                              [–]ZenZibbeh 109ポイント110ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                              To be fair. I've yet to meet a girl that says she isn't cold.

                                                                              It can be 40 Degrees celsius outside and she'd have on a winter jacket.

                                                                              [–]Rexless 51ポイント52ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                              I am a girl. I am always cold. That being said, if I have asked to borrow a jacket from a guy with no other intentions. Cuddling has other intentions.

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                                                                                [–]Lewis_Killjoy 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                My excuses are it being Winter when it started, had very low self esteem, and I was more or less socially retarded back then. This was when I was 16 and had just lost a bit of weight and more or less finished puberty.

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                                                                                  [–]Dr_DuckZilla 74ポイント75ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                  This is some anime tier obliviousness.

                                                                                  [–]ActSci94 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                  Wow, I didn't think people could be as dense as anime characters... Good job Senpai!

                                                                                  [–]Galaxyan 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                  if you are a hottie then I think it's very likely they were cold

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                                                                                    [–]ihaveyourwife 293ポイント294ポイント  (75子コメント)

                                                                                    I'm not super attractive by any means I'm alight, but I'm no Brad Pitt. However for whatever reason whenever I travel to Asian countries like China,Thailand, and even when I'm in Chinatown etc people just adore me. At first I thought it was because I had travelled to quite poor areas and I'm obviously a wealthy (comparatively) Westerner and they are attracted to my money. However this wasn't happening to any of my fellow western family/chums. I'm a Caucasian male with brown hair and brown eyes and high cheekbones. and I have had it suggested I that I might fill that niche of being exotic enough(being western) and safe enough(having very similar features) to make the ladies/guys dig it.

                                                                                    It didn't really effect my personality as the effects were too short-lived to notice. It did however make me consider emigrating.

                                                                                    Moral of the story is. Maybe you are not a hottie in your home-town, heck you might not be appreciated in your entire country but rest assured there is a country out there where a good amount of the people wanna Jump your bones and have sweet sweet herbal tea afterwards.

                                                                                    [–]baconismidog 50ポイント51ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                    Not hottie in the hometown. Man, I've seen that with Northern chicks. They're these tall, blonde blue-eyed women who are beautiful but they're surrounded by mothers, sisters, friends and cousins who are tall blonde and blue-eyed so they think they're all boring and normal. Anytime I'm around Minnesota or Wisconsin you see these women and they'll treat you like you just fell out of the sky wearing a cape just for asking them their names. It's shocking. I have a hispanic buddy with a chrome dome and a beard. He went to a Packer's game and when he got back here (Texas) he was just starry-eyed at all the beautiful chicks who talked to him. He is seriously considering moving.

                                                                                    [–]poontanger[🍰] 115ポイント116ポイント  (29子コメント)

                                                                                    Same thing happened when I was in thailand. My brother and I met some other travelers, went to a club. The other guys stood in the corner, my brother and I hit the dance floor, and no exaggeration we each had 5-6 beautiful girls dancing on us, and on our arm as we left the club.

                                                                                    Although considering it was thailand they could have just been lady boys and prostitutes after our money...

                                                                                    [–]Jacks_Grin 161ポイント162ポイント  (27子コメント)

                                                                                    And then you woke up in a bathtub full of ice with only one kidney.

                                                                                    [–]Yvels 50ポイント51ポイント  (15子コメント)

                                                                                    one kidney left ? what is it a sub for kids ?

                                                                                    Corrected to : ''And then you woke up in a bathtub with no ice and no kidneys''

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                                                                                        [–]liamera 32ポイント33ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                        This was many of my friends' experience who have traveled to China. Many of them are very average-looking, but there they were celebrities and seen as quite handsome because English.

                                                                                        [–]kewriosity 35ポイント36ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                        If you're red-headed, you'll generally be very popular in China. You're basically walking around with a head covered in a colour that is adored by people and symbolises good luck, wealth and prosperity.

                                                                                        [–]GrandScorpio 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                        I am all about that sweet sweet herbal tea.

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                                                                                          [–]Nainma 50ポイント51ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                          I was always the "quiet one" in primary school, so I didn't get any attention, good or bad, and automatically assumed I couldn't look that great to anyone out there. Then for the year 6 school disco my friends did the classic 10 year old girl thing and gave me a makeover, I got compliments all night, felt incredibly confident because of all these people paying attention to me who wouldn't have talked to me otherwise, and from then on I just kept feeling better about myself :)

                                                                                          [–]d0gfish 35ポイント36ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                          I had a weird teens (currently just shy of 20), I was overweight and rather nerdy and into and still am, things like D&D and gaming and such so girls didn't really give me much attention.

                                                                                          I started gymming at around 16 and taking more interest in grooming and "fashion sense" and developed really well, made first team rugby and such and I got more attention in high school but nothing over the top, seemed to be an average amount but nothing to make me think "I must be really good looking".

                                                                                          Anyway I went overseas for a year (first year out of school) and started dating this really good looking girl over there and who I knew prior to coming over though; so dating her gave me a confidence boost and it started happening from then, I was being hit on a lot overseas (but still ever faithful) and it gave me a lot more knowledge that people thought I was attractive. Anyway I came home at the beginning of this year and started bartending at a local club and now I get this absurd amount of girls coming up to me and complementing me, buying me drinks and full on hitting on me and being really open about their intentions and what they would " like to do to me" and often find friend requests from lots these girls on Facebook the next day and texting me. Within days of working at this bar I was scouted for modelling and now I do that on the side for extra cash - quite difficult actually.

                                                                                          I thought maybe it was just drunk girls being drunk girls at first but not anymore, it makes me feel good about myself and now in day to day life I get a lot of compliments because perhaps I seem like a more approachable and a happier person.

                                                                                          So it's really given me this confidence boost and I definitely feel more good about myself which carries through to every day things which is great, friends and family say they can see I'm a far more happier/outgoing person. I still think I'm pretty average looking though.

                                                                                          [–]JeffersonSpicoli 55ポイント56ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                          I've always been the guy who got the pretty girl. The only way I'm aware that it's affected my personality is that I have to be extra nice, or people will assume I'm an asshole because I'm handsome. Kind of annoying really, people assume I'm being patronizing when really I'm just somewhat awkward.

                                                                                          [–]Lyra_Belacqua 105ポイント106ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                                                          I was never hot at school. I was super nerdy, spotty, and hilariously awkward. Things started changing when I was at College, I got more into music and adopted styles that suited me better and I was comfortable in, I didn't have anything before. I took a year out between College and University, and apparently that's the time I suddenly seemed to just shift. I'd always been quite active and never had an issue with my body, but my younger teen problems started to fade, I was more styled and comfortable within myself, and suddenly people were hitting on me. Before I was 17 I could probably count on one hand the amount of people who genuinely tried to hit on me or express interest, compared to the more popular kids I was invisible. Some girls simply took puberty in their stride and were glamorous and attractive right through school. When I got to University, I was really taken aback with the interest I seemed to get. Probably didn't help I was one of only a handful of girls on my course, but everywhere I went I was getting all this attention that I'd never experienced before.

                                                                                          I was still brutally shy at this point, but it at least gave me confidence that just maybe, I was actually attractive for the first time in my life. I certainly attribute some of it to the fact that everyone is simply getting hornier at that age compared to school, but I was genuinely starting to accept I was probably more attractive than I gave myself credit for. It didn't exactly help me come out of my shell though, if anything I probably got even more shy and used the small circle of friends I had as barriers. I went my entire first year single despite numerous, and even repeat advances from some guys. I had never been a social person and suddenly being thrust into a spotlight, I had no idea how to handle it, so I simply didn't for a while. The more friends I got however, I got more relaxed and more willing to be in social situations without clinging to a handful of people. It was a really awkward time for me trying to adjust, but it's interesting to look back and laugh at myself now for being so reclusive and timid. I am now much more at ease with people, I can meet new people and actually act like a normal human being.

                                                                                          [–]Mixels 19ポイント20ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                          So by normal human being, what you really mean is a normal human being from another dimension who uses a magical knife to travel between this world and your home and whose second-best friend is a polar bear. Right? Because if that's you, I'm jealous. :/

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                                                                                            [–]Kaitfish 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                            28/F here.

                                                                                            Junior high is when the comments started rolling in. I reveled in my "hotness" in high-school. I enjoyed being chased around by random Lambda Chis in college. My well-paid, respected position at a Fortune 500 company, which I would sincerely like to think was given to me on the basis of my achievements and intellect, was likely given to me because the 3 middle aged bald men who interviewed me began stuttering and drooling the minute I sat down.

                                                                                            I was a typical teenager/college kid. I spent a lot of time being superficial and demeaning to my own self. I represented myself in a way I don't care to relive. It's embarrassing to look back on. These days? I work my ass off in corporate America, want to be able to grab a quick coffee without being gawked at (would you want to be stared at suggestively at 7am?), and for the dick in Accounting to stop staring at the side of my face all the time and actually take a second to look at the mother. fucking. bench. memos. I put on his desk.

                                                                                            Oh -- I'm not married and approaching 30, so that forever alone trend doesn't discriminate. Heads up, guys...have confidence. Come talk to me. Don't assume I am looking for my own personal Ryan Gosling. I'm not. I'd come talk to you first, but I'm shy as fuck.

                                                                                            So there's that.

                                                                                            [–]Kastabort9000 69ポイント70ポイント  (10子コメント)

                                                                                            Found out a couple of years ago. I had that awkward teenage phase where all my limbs were too long and my nose was huge. I've always been a bit too skinny. When I was about 17-18, my body parts sort of evened out. I got a haircut, started buying clothes that were actually my size and started using contact lenses instead of glasses. People notice me a lot now. Strangers come up to me and comment on my looks or ask me for my number. I get stared at a lot. I get cat called a lot. My friends tell me I'm beautiful all the time. Some people seem to automatically assume I'm stupid, even though I'm well educated (7 years at uni).

                                                                                            I fucking hate it. I've never felt beautiful, I can almost feel grotesque some days. I feel like it's all just lies and that someones gonna jump out and scream "sike!!!" soon and tell me that I'm really as ugly as I feel. I tend to try and hide my face behind big sunglasses and I often wear shawls wrapped losely over my head because most of the time I just want to be left alone. It's great when you want to get in to a club though, and I rarely have to pay for alcohol because I've always got a couple of men standing by waiting to buy me drinks. Even though I tell them I'm gay. Oh well!

                                                                                            [–]climb-it-ographer 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                            This resonates with me. I was awkward as hell in school, but now I get a ton of attention from older women and gay men. I still don't quite know how to handle it, although my wife finds it rather funny.

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                                                                                              [–]Milkgunner 33ポイント34ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                              Ninth grade. I was a kid that loved reading and kept to myself. Then all of a sudden girls I barely knew started texting me, some really sexually. Shortly after that I started going to parties and made out with several girls a night, and soon got the reputation of being a man slut. I don't regret it, i was young and had fun, but now I've changed and lever even have one night stands because they usually suck.

                                                                                              [–]wickedwildwilly 44ポイント45ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                              So, I don't think I'm a real "hottie", but im definitely a better than average looking person, and I hope I can contribute to this question.

                                                                                              I really started looking better by the end of high school, and I noticed that other people noticed me. You know, little things like strangers eyes lingering on you, people commenting on how you look good, and stuff like that. I didn't really react to most of it, and I found the compliments to be fairly off-putting for whatever reason.

                                                                                              However, I will say that there were some benefits I tried to exploit. I learned that I could get free things for girls working in the service industry with relative ease. Stuff like gift cards, upgrades on airplanes, and discounts at bars and restaurants were pretty common if I put in a little effort to be engaging. I'm not sure if that's because they liked the interaction with another person, because I was decently good looking, or some combination thereof, but this worked for me.

                                                                                              In terms of misconceptions, I'm not sure. I don't feel judged often. But if I had to guess I would think that people often wouldn't tag me for someone who loves video games, plays trumpet, and enjoys reading.

                                                                                              Hope that was what you were looking for!

                                                                                              [–]jursla [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                                              I am disappointed by lack of photos in this thread

                                                                                              [–]DatNick1988 22ポイント23ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                                                              We'll see, I came from this.

                                                                                              http://imgur.com/hPm44gF

                                                                                              So now that I have completely "transcended" as I've been told, I still don't really care because I was so used to being a mythical creature who just lurked in a middle school for a few years. When people saw me, it was a sighting, like Bigfoot. Seriously, I looked like somebody they raised money for. I went a little wild after high school with sex and pretty girls, but I calmed down and got married, and now I'm content. I guess I never really noticed that the reason I had so much sex was because I was hot. I always thought it just happens when you get older and go to college.

                                                                                              [–]MrObvious 36ポイント37ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                              I (31M) grew up fat. Hated it, hated myself, had no confidence etc, the usual story. Decided in 2011, after a holiday where I was afraid to be in any photos, and after a breakup that was less than friendly, I decided I'd had enough, so put my mind to losing weight. And I did it, up to a point. I never reached an ideal weight but there was a very very clear contrast.

                                                                                              28 years of self loathing convinced me I was ugly for life. Suddenly I was slimmer, healthier, more confident, and able to fit into and buy nicer clothes. I'm no model, and I have no idea what facial features make a man attractive. But it would appear that, being 6 foot 5, naturally heavily built, AND relatively slim, I was suddenly "hot".

                                                                                              People treat you differently. More smiling, more eye contact and banter with men, more glances from women. In fact the way women started treating me was ridiculous.

                                                                                              Obviously I was more confident, and they like that. But complete strangers picking the seat next to me on the bus and starting conversations? Groups of women making eyes towards me in bars? One time I stepped out of a pub for a smoke, made eye contact with a woman, said "hi", and was immediately offered a threesome.

                                                                                              I was really into OKC dating (this is before Tinder). The dates started getting more frequent and more sexual. I set myself a policy of never sleeping with a woman on the first date after a handful of incidents. This just drove them more crazy.

                                                                                              Girls who I'd been attracted to before but who never so much as looked at me were suddenly calling me up, messaging me online, straight up asking for sex. I turned most of them down. It was ridiculous.

                                                                                              What happened? My newfound confidence landed me an amazing girlfriend, we got happy and moved in together, and now I've got comfortable quite a lot of the weight has come back on. None of my hot guy clothes fit anymore but I'm still happy. Now I'm just trying to claw my way back.

                                                                                              [–]condimentorice 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                              I think you are my straight doppelgänger. At age 30, I had a terrible breakup and after a family gathering where I realized how much I hated my own appearance, I finally did something to change it, and less than a year later, the way the world interacted with me was entirely and unsettingly different. Did online dating. Was overwhelmed with the number of responses. Had to set rules about no sex on first dates. Eventually found an awesome boyfriend and moved in together. I've put on some relationship weight, which at first was OK because it was just enough to make people less crazy...but now it's getting to be too much so I'm trying to find the motivation to get back to where I was.

                                                                                              Good luck, man. We can do this.

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                                                                                                [–]Dr_Wong 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                In college. I was never really ugly in high school, just chubby, nerdy, and never really took care of myself. Lost a lot of weight freshman year, started working out, got a haircut, and became less of a dork. I'm not hot, just good looking.

                                                                                                After I became single junior year, I was a douche. Always trying to sleep with people, constantly talking about the gym and drinking, that kind of stuff. Eventually I realized what I'd become and that most of my friends didn't like me any more.. and that I didn't like me any more. So I stopped and just kind of settled down.

                                                                                                I have a girlfriend now, but still get hit on by girls, especially at parties. It's fun to play along and be flirty for a while, but never cross a line.

                                                                                                [–]Luder714 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                "Pretty girls seem to find out early,

                                                                                                How to open doors with just a smile"

                                                                                                --Eagles, Lying Eyes

                                                                                                [–]row_guy 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                Same as many, junior year of high school got in great shape, was in a band etc. chicks dug it, college good shape (for a while) generally the same.

                                                                                                Now I am a mid 30s dude who could lose a few but as I've noted in similar threads, I am at a point in my life (married, kids) where I am happy if an attractive woman DOESN'T flirt with me. It can be too much at times. I feel guilty later and I love my wife and would never cheat. Even past flings I avoid as there my be attraction there that I don't even want to be around as it would only cause problems.

                                                                                                A tip to the guys. Many women aren't just interested in looks. Being decent looking gets you the opportunity for conversation, that's when you can really become attractive to a woman. Also being in good shape and well groomed is key.

                                                                                                [–]bkow[🍰] 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                I've known I was perceived as attractive since about 9th grade. I got a lot of attention from girls and it made me arrogant and kind of a dick. This continued up to 10th grade where I'd be dating a few girls at the same time without regards to their feelings. I started talking to this one girl, she called me out on my bullshit and told me that my personality made me ugly. That made me realize that I needed to change, I really liked this girl and didn't want to be someone she despised due to my character. I took a year off from dating and girls to work on myself. I came back my 12th grade year a changed person. I dumped a bunch of friends who I considered toxic, made new ones and I was more caring for others. I rekindled my relationship with the girl who brought about the changes in me. This year we'll be married for three years. I'm very glad she was ballsy enough to stand up to the "good looking cool guy on campus".

                                                                                                [–]RzaAndGza 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                                Most people in the thread have some vast change in their teenage years, I'll add a slightly different perspective. I grew up attractive, my baby pictures, middle school, braces, all of that, I was handsome/cute. In high school I was really attractive and took advantage of it heavily. I slept around, cheated on cheerleaders, etc.

                                                                                                Then I went to college, got a serious girlfriend, and added about 35 lbs of relationship weight. Wearing that extra weight not only slowed me down physically, but also emotionally. And in a different way that I noticed, too. People were less inclined to help me or do things for me (that previously would have required only a charming smile) and I personally didn't have the confidence to pursue my methods any more. Also, when you gain weight, your boners are weak sauce.

                                                                                                About a year ago, I got out of the relationship and dropped the weight. I'm back to being able to wink at a hostess when I ask for a nicer table at a nice restaurant, get upgrades on flight by talking to ticket people, etc.

                                                                                                TL;DR- was hot, got fat, got hot again. Definitely noticed a difference in how the world treats you.

                                                                                                [–]liskoturri 134ポイント135ポイント  (82子コメント)

                                                                                                About couple of years ago. Somehow I realized I'm not that bad looking but actually pretty decent from outside. Decided to hit the gym, found /r/malefashionadvice, bought fitting clothes. Started shaving, caring for my skin, found a haircut that fits me (hint: it's not a three feet long black ponytail anymore), bought glasses that weren't hideous and so on. Started looking professional and good. Stopped cursing, talking with a more deeper confident voice (you can actually teach yourself this - I was surprised how easy it was.)

                                                                                                I feel more confident and at ease when with girls now. Well with anyone to be honest, like when I'm giving presentation for a conference room full of people. In fact, it's me who makes other people feel a bit uneasy in the right way and made me understand how girls at high school felt when dudes would stare them and start blushing when you looked back with a smile.

                                                                                                Girls? To be honest, I don't really care about the sex but somehow I seem to be a chick magnet. I don't think it's because I'm beautiful or something, but confident in myself. I'm asexual so usually I just end up cuddling and hugging instead.

                                                                                                About misconceptions... well, I look really social on the outside. I'm not. To be honest I've started to hate big conventions and parties as I just can't stand other people. I'm good at bluffing and bullshitting which is a good thing when it comes to my work.

                                                                                                I'd also like to thank this subreddit for teaching me how to be myself.

                                                                                                So basically I just realized I have the potential to not look like an übergeek, so I figured I'd try to turn myself into something I wanted. Sorry for the wall of text.

                                                                                                Edit: deeper > confident

                                                                                                [–]Marmoe 9ポイント10ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                                                                How did you learn to speak with a lower voice?

                                                                                                [–]liskoturri 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                There's a million tutorials on YouTube to pick one from. Just search for "speaking clearer" or "speaking deeper". You can't turn into a Barry White, but if you're a whiny pipsqueak like I was the difference is definitely gonna be noticeable.

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                                                                                                  [–]hyretic 200ポイント201ポイント  (33子コメント)

                                                                                                  I'd also like to thank this subreddit[2] for teaching me how to be myself.

                                                                                                  I think purposely teaching yourself to speak in a lower voice is the complete opposite of not giving a fuck. It's also not being yourself, lol. http://i.imgur.com/kpGgPAz.gif

                                                                                                  [–]liskoturri 52ポイント53ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                                                                  Well, I probably should say in a clearer voice. But it's considerably deeper and has more "oomph" than my old mumbling nasal sound. So is my spoken English. Because of my whiny voice, my speaking impediment and hearing problems, I didn't even want to talk in English. Then I realized, "you know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna learn this, no matter what."

                                                                                                  The name of the subreddit is purposefully provoking. It's more about learning to overcome your mental barriers that prohibit you from doing things you want to, and becoming the you you want.

                                                                                                  If I cared too much about people's opinions on things like this (like your comment), I'd never ever learned to draw, make music, cook or whatever else. When I realized I don't really need to care about people who devote so much of their energy to berating and making fun of people who try to make progress in their life (just ask every former fat guy when they started hitting the gym), everything as been so much more easier.

                                                                                                  [–]Bromosa 36ポイント37ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                                  People change sex to become who they are on the inside and nobody challenges that, but this guy takes a voice lesson and he's not working to become himself.

                                                                                                  [–]nxvd [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                  and nobody challenges that

                                                                                                  Are you seriously asserting that nobody in today's society challenges the legitimacy of trans* identities? Come on.

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                                                                                                        [–]Beakerguy 35ポイント36ポイント  (23子コメント)

                                                                                                        Older guy here (51). Was considered attractive in high school, but way too shy to take advantage of it. Got married shortly after college to the first decent looking girl who accosted me. After a lousy marriage (23 years) just getting divorced.

                                                                                                        During the marriage, I became "dad shaped". Put on about 60 lbs and never really took care of myself. About 6 years ago, my kids discovered <a sport>. Since I participated in said sport in college a bit, I took it up as well. I travel for work a lot, so I made it my goal to reclaim my body. 2-a-day workouts on the road and a few years later was down to my competing weight of 200 lbs (I'm 6'3"), and am able to beat most collegiate participants.

                                                                                                        My STBX never once acknowledged my metamorphosis and I separated a year and a half ago. Now I am having the time of my life going through the "man-whore" phase (starting to taper off). I am dating younger and far better looking women (mostly 35-45). I travel internationally for work and have relationships with women in several countries and multiple women in the States.

                                                                                                        I don't always like what I've become and am working to get it under control. So far, I have not hurt any women, but I'm afraid the house of cards will come tumbling down and it won't be pretty. My primary girlfriend lives in Europe and I've cheated on her with 16 different women (more if you count the ones I didn't sleep with).

                                                                                                        I'm back in the States for a bit and slept with one woman the night before last and had 2 first dates yesterday.

                                                                                                        [–]ahubbs 35ポイント36ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                                        STBX

                                                                                                        Who are these people that just make this shit up and use it in casual conversation?

                                                                                                        [–]fortune_cell [スコア非表示]  (9子コメント)

                                                                                                        soon to be ex, I assume

                                                                                                        [–]ahubbs [スコア非表示]  (8子コメント)

                                                                                                        Yeah I googled it. Its strange, relationship online talk has an entire shorthand like DH and DD (Dear Husband and Dear Daughter).

                                                                                                        But that's not what I'm really annoyed by the most. Its the leaking of this shit shorthand from bitter relationship forums into the rest of the internet. You wouldn't just toss this stuff into email. But come to reddit and use this niche shorthand casually. It's a strange move and I don't totally get it.

                                                                                                        I mean look at this garbage:

                                                                                                        BIC = Best Interests of the Child BIL = Brother In Law BF = Boyfriend BRB = Be Right Back (used in chat) BTDT = Been There, Done That BTW = By The Way CASA = Court Appointed Special Advocate CO = Court Order COC = Change Of Custody CP = Custodial Parent CPS = Child Protective Services CS = Child Support CSE = Child Support Enforcement D# = Daughter, age #. e.g. D5 = 5yo daughter DCS = Department of Child Support DCW = Dept. of Child Welfare DH = Divorced Husband or Darling Husband DV= Domestic Violence DW = Divorced Wife or Dear Wife ED = Egg Donor (an uninvolved mother) EOM = End Of Message EOW = Every Other Weekend (minimal parenting schedule) FOC = Friend Of The Court FERPA = Family Educational Rights & Privacy Act FIL = Father In Law FOR = Father Of Record FOS = Full Of Sh*t (g) = (grin) GAL = Guardian Ad Litem GFG = Gift From God (refers to a child OR a 'stuck-up' ex) GP = Grand Parents HOH = Head Of Household FOC = Friend Of the Court FIL = Father In Law FWIW = For What It's Worth IMHO = In My Humble Opinion IOW = In Other Words LFH = Lawyer From Hell LMAO = Laughing My < hindquarters > Off LOL = Laughing Out Loud MIL = Mother In Law MSA = Marital Settlement Agreement MSOL = Marital Standard Of Living NCP = Non Custodial Parent NJ = Nut Job (or possibly New Jersey) NM = No Message NOYB = None of Your Business NT = No Text (same as NM) OFW= Our Family Wizard OM = Other Man OP = Original Poster OW = Other Woman OSE = Office of Support Enforcement OSD/OSS = Oldest Step Daughter/Oldest Step Son PAS = Parental Alienation Syndrome [do not use anywhere near a judge] PBFH = Psycho < female dog >/Bastard From Hell PF = Paternity Fraud PFV = Paternity Fraud Victim PKPA = Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act PO= Protective Order QDRO = Qualified Domestic Relations Order R3= Registered Letter, Return Reciept Requested. RO = Restraining Order ROFR = Right Of First Refusal (parenting a child trumps third-party caregiver) ROG = short for 'Interrogatories' ROTFLMAO = Rolling On The Floor Laughing My < hindquarters > Off SAHM = Stay At Home Mom S# = Son, age #. e.g. S5 = 5yo son SC = Step Child or Children SF = Step Father SM = Step Mother SD = Step Daughter SD = Sperm Donor (an uninvolved father) SIL = Sister In Law SKIDS = Step Kids SS = Step Son or Spousal Support STBX = Soon To Be Ex STFU = Please be quiet SO = Significant Other SIL = Sister In Law TRO = Temporary Restraining Order UIFSA = Uniform Interstate Family Support Act UCCJA = Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act WTFU = Wake Up

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                                                                                                            [–]lokesen 67ポイント68ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                                                            To every hot person replying to this question: Picture or it didn't happen.

                                                                                                            [–]ijustplaybass 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                                            I was about 20? I'm 25 now. I did the whole, out of bracers new glasses thing.

                                                                                                            I don't like it :/ I get more attention, but when I try and talk about anything I definitely get the vibe that people aren't really listening...

                                                                                                            I work as a barista/waitstaff though so maybe that has something to do with not wanting to be around people as much? I don't know.

                                                                                                            I've broken up with people over too many compliments, I approach them and say that they need to pare it back a little, but then things just tend to get more desperate from there.

                                                                                                            Honestly, I am a homebody now more than ever. I do not like feeling judged on my looks. It is not an accomplishment.

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