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Why It's Time For Male Allies To Fight Men's Rights Activists

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Parenting fail: My 13-year old daughter walks in the door and drops an F-bomb about the weather. Parenting win: I chastise her choice of language without mentioning gender. 

For Men's Rights Activists, it's all about gender: men vs. women.

More specifically, it's about blaming those feminist bitches. Got screwed in a divorce? Feminist bitches. Killed in a war? Feminist bitches. Injured in a high-risk job/victim of spousal abuse/male on male rape/accused of rape/homeless? All the fault of feminist bitches.

MRA is not about solving problems that affect men, but about hating women—and to a lesser extent, about hating men who ally with feminism. I learned the latter firsthand after referring to MRA as "a toxic slew of misogyny" for my article in TIME Magazine that went so viral it was discussed on CNN Television.

The League of Extraordinary Butthurt went ballistic, attacking me in the comments section, via blogs, on social media and in my email inbox. It's interesting to note how few used real names when referring to me as a "mangina."
The thing that confuses about MRAs is that, if they were actually serious about solving any of the problems that they profess to rally around, why would they choose to alienate half the population? The feminists I know love men. They don’t want them to be injured on the job, get assaulted, restricted from seeing their children, be homeless or die young. The fact that MRAs deride feminism and view it as the source of their woes, rather than collaborate to solve problems that affect all people, tells me that they don’t actually care about solutions. Have MRAs become involved in finding solutions for what happened to Shia LaBeouf? Or Tamir Rice? What about Mike Brown or Eric Garner?

I ask: What has MRA ever accomplished other than to warp the minds of certain men and draw continual attention from the Southern Poverty Law Center's Hate Watch blog for their misogyny and threats of violence toward women? Don't think they promote violence? Read the words of MRA poster boy Paul Elam. Or go to Reddit and prepare to have your eyes bleed.

I am a man who respects women and has benefited from feminism, and I call out MRA bullshit. MRA gives men a bad name and holds inclusive feminism back.This is an important role for male allies to play, because men who are on the MRA fence are less likely to listen to a woman's views on the subject—but they may listen to a man. Male allies can pull them back from the brink.
Plus, it's safer for us men. Yes, I was inundated with hate for a few days after my TIME article, but there weren't any rape threats or getting put on some "offender registry" to be a target of harassment. MRAs are far more vitriolic and violent toward women who call out their crap than they are to men.

If you're serious about solving problems faced by men, it's feminism that needs your support, not MRA. Feminism has a history of improving the lives of both genders. All MRA seems to accomplish is a promotion of misogyny and violence.

by James S. Fell

(via ravishly.com)
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  • John Gormley · Top Commenter
    This is for the author of this piece.....think for a minute.

    How many people have left the MHRM movement and joined feminism?

    I can name plenty who have shed the toxic evil ideology of feminism and joined with us and become MRA's.
    • Ian Mitchell-Gill · Top Commenter · Teacher at DDSB
      I have the utmost respect for the women on the facebook page "Why I don't need feminism." It's pretty damning when the gender you are supposed to represent leave because they don't like the way they are being treated. God I respect those women who speak out. I hope they keep talking.
      Reply · Like
      · 3 · May 18 at 10:58am
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  • Steve Brule · Top Commenter · Kingston, Ontario
    How to spot a feminist article: opens with feminist bigotry against anyone who disagrees with feminists, use distorted rationalizing in the middle, finish with "more help is needed for feminist" bigots.
    • Ian Mitchell-Gill · Top Commenter · Teacher at DDSB
      It's a politically motivated cult. They want power, influence and money. Being accurate and honest will not garner that. Cue the lies, hysteria, and fabrication of social ills to push their own agenda.
      Reply · Like
      · 1 · May 18 at 11:01am
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  • Exposing Feminism
    "The feminists I know love men. They don’t want them to be injured on the job, get assaulted, restricted from seeing their children"

    The National Organization for Women, the largest feminist organization in the country, founded by Betty Friedan, the mother of second wave feminism, opposes shared parenting legislation and legislation to end permanent alimony. Men's rights and father's rights groups have had to battle the feminist movement from day one to get fathers a right to see their children equally. Here is the first instance of them opposing default shared custody in 2001:

    http://issuu.com/prenticereid/docs/feminist_groups_oppose_shared_paren/1

    Here is the second instance of them opposing default shared custody in 2005 pay special attention to how arrogant they are in their opposition to it. Quote:

    "The National Organi...zation for Women, New York State, Inc. strongly urges the Assembly and Senate of New York to oppose this legislation. This bill seeks to "create the statutory of presumption of joint custody for all minor children whose parents are no longer married, so that both parents can continue to share in the responsibilities and duties of the children's upbringing."

    http://www.nownys.org/archives/leg_memos/oppose_a00330.html

    This is the third instance of them admitting they opposed it and this article in a very important one from the Boston Globe.

    The reason why this one is so important is because it also admits that in one study mothers were given sole custody of the children a staggering 83% of the time. Quoting from the article:

    "they are championing a pending House bill that would begin each custody case with a presumption that fathers and mothers are entitled to equal amounts of time with their children.

    Joseph McNabb, the president of Laboure College in Dorchester, found that joint physical custody was awarded at Worcester Probate and Family Court only 8 percent of the time in 501 cases in 1993.

    Mothers obtained sole physical custody 83.2 percent of the time, and fathers received sole physical custody in 8.8 percent of the cases, according to the study.

    The bill is opposed by the Massachusetts chapter of the National Organization for Women."

    http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/07/05/fathers_back_bill_on_rights_of_parents/?page=full

    And here's the National Organization for Women opposing the end of lifelong alimony for women. Quote:

    "Under the misleading label of “alimony reform,” Assembly bill A3909, sponsored by Charles Mainor (District 31, Hudson), and other similar bills currently pending in the NJ legislature, advance the interests of alimony payors—a majority of men and a small handful of women—seeking to overturn their alimony payments.

    NOW-NJ opposes bills A3909, A685/S1388, and SJR36/SJR34 in their current forms. The thrust of these bills is a focus solely on the economic circumstances of the payor, while ignoring the economic circumstances of the recipients. Recipients, who are predominantly women"

    http://www.nownj.org/news-x/press-releases/171-alimony-reform.html     See More
    • Exposing Feminism
      So your movement which I have just demonstrated and documented consistently opposes father's rights right out in the open and opposes the right of men to be allowed to avoid debt-slavery after a divorce and you want to sit up here and tell us that your movement cares about men's rights? Do you think we're stupid?

      YOUR MOVEMENT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ENSURING THAT COUNTLESS NUMBERS OF CHILDREN DO NOT HAVE THEIR FATHERS IN THEIR LIVES! THE TEARS OF THOSE CHILDREN ARE PARTLY YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO PEOPLE LIKE THIS!

      Take a look at that documentation and you will see that your movement even refused to sit at the same table as men at one meeting to discuss the issue! And not a single feminist group nor feminist leader has condemned ANY of this activity and you want to sit up here and pose as savior!
      Reply · Like
      · 42 · December 25, 2014 at 9:13pm
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    • May Powell · Top Commenter · Birmingham, United Kingdom
      Exposing Feminism In the same way that most Christians and Muslims and Jews and Hindus I know are lovely people, organised religion is a pain in the arse. I feel similarly about political movement and social justice groups. I know very few feminists who don't like men, even if they sometimes feel angry at what some men do, but organised feminism has often been a pain in the arse.
      Reply · Like
      · 5 · January 27 at 7:10am
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    • John Gormley · Top Commenter
      May Powell in any broth the scum always rise to the top
      Reply · Like
      · 3 · March 25 at 5:36pm
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  • Joe Renaud · Top Commenter · Bruckmann Martial Arts
    What a steaming pile of crap. Good job on spinning MRA's into women haters. Journalistic integrity is obviously not your strong point.
    • Ian Mitchell-Gill · Top Commenter · Teacher at DDSB
      Nobody ever accused feminists of playing fair. Will there be misogynists in an MRA? Sure. Will there be man haters in pretty much every feminist organization? Hell yes. The idea that a mens right movement can only hate women is pretty an inaccurate and self-serving dismissal of real issues faced by men everyday.

      What AMAZES me is that women still find alimony acceptable. Child support, sure but alimony equates a woman's earning power to that of a child. I've read some great articles by women on why it's got to go. For true equality, alimony should be a brief thing, or an antiquated thing. Feminists are not interested in equality, only when it's convenient.
      Reply · Like
      · 5 · May 18 at 10:57am
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  • Jack Barnes
    I notice something. Men aren't feminists they are allies. Women aren't MRA allies they are fellow MRAs.

    Interesting.
    • Billy Plante · Top Commenter · Port Colborne, Ontario
      That's because it has been stated by many that there is no such thing, and can be no such thing, as a male feminist. They are unwelcome.
      Reply · Like
      · 4 · May 17 at 5:28pm
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    • Josh McElravy
      It's weird. It's almost as if you think "feminism" is monolith, Jack.
      Reply · Like
      · 1 · May 18 at 4:10am
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    • Liam Gongaware · Top Commenter · Winona State University
      I'm a man and I've identified as feminist for a very long time. Thing about that is that a man can be feminist, but that implies that he's more active as an ally to women/female feminists, so it's whatever you choose to identify as.
      Reply · Like
      · May 28 at 7:30am
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  • Brett Caton · Top Commenter · Gosford, New South Wales
    "Why It's Time For Male Allies To Fight Men's Rights Activists "

    Feminist: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

    MRA: "Say, isn't that a bit sexist?"

    Feminist: (screams) "Help me, White Knight! For I am but a damsel in distress! Save me from these fearsome rape-monsters!"

    MRA: "What? I haven't raped anyone?!"

    Feminist: "Only a man who raped women would deny the foul deed! Oh save me White Knight, save me!"

    MRA: "I think they're off rescuing Anita again"

    Feminist: "Oh damn! Look, I've twisted my ankle..." (*shakes coin box hopefully*) "Donations, please?"
       
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    • Adam Nuncio · Top Commenter
      This author has some personal issues he should learn to work through instead of blaming men who complain about issues they feel affect them, for complaining about issues to begin with.

      Isn't that really what's going on here? How dare men have concerns about how they feel treated and criticize the main ideology that seems to care more about smearing them for it than actually addressing their issues? Kinda hard for MRAs to get anything done when certain zealots are so hard at work sabotaging or smearing any credibility of their concerns because...... well, for what seems to be just to get back at them for speaking out in the first place.

      You don't fight for equality. You fight for political dominance. At every drop of a hat, you ridicule and deride anything that does not identify as feminist. Or wears a shirt you don't like. Or ...sits in a masculine manner. Or enjoys the opposite sex. Or does mature stand-up.

      How's that acid attacks campaign coming along? The campaign to end human trafficking? Stop domestic violence? End genital mutilation? Help soldiers? Oh... nobody's actually doing anything about it... just a bunch of blogs telling everyone who already knows about it that it exists. Well now! At least we're telling people who don't already like it that they shouldn't like it! ಠ_ಠ

      Until your own shit doesn't stink, I don't wanna hear a peep from you criticising anybody else for not solving issues.

      James... you're a coward. A hypocritical and arrogant human being that gets off smearing other people for jollies then claims to stand on a moral highground of justice and equality. On the bright side, you're not alone in your bigotry. Plenty of "safe spaces" now where you can parrot your hateful views to sympathetic ears without interruption. Female validation is a hell of a drug, eh?

      "If you're serious about solving problems faced by men, it's feminism that needs your support, not MRA. Feminism has a history of improving the lives of both genders"

      MY RELIGION IS THE RIGHT RELIGION LOOK AT ALL THE DIATRIBES I WRITE ABOUT OTHERS! I HELP ALL THE GENDERS BY EDUCATING BIAS FOR ONLY ONE!

      idiot.       See More
         
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      • Grace Alexander · Top Commenter · CEO & Founder at Brilliance on Demand
        And the complete cesspool in the comments section continues... LOL
        • Raymond Martin · Top Commenter
          Yeah, you are here.
          Reply · Like
          · 17 · May 17 at 8:18am
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        • Shannon Ellery Hubbell · Top Commenter
          Lewis' Law in action.
          Reply · Like
          · 2 · May 17 at 2:44pm
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        • Frackas Fromer
          People dare to disagree and debunk, hence "cess pool", and that is the level of feminist disingenuousness which leads people to join the mra, or at minimum become anti feminists because they see which side spends its time lying to people. Sorry, the level of intellectual dishonesty pervasive within feminism is incompatible with the idea that feminism is concerned with the principles of justice in any way that matters.
          Reply · Like
          · 8 · Edited · May 17 at 6:23pm
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      • Frackas Fromer
        A response to this article from PsychologicalCynic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1sNQtI18mE "Male allies" of feminism, are fools who don't know they are just the next in line for abuse by these gender bigots who call themselves feminists. The dishonesty revealed in every statement of this article only proves why fewer and fewer "allies" exist, let alone women who will even call themselves a feminist, its why feminists have to viciously attack women who dare to shirk the label, and why these attacks on mra's exist, the ideology and brand of feminism have become toxic, and instead of dealing with it, you see this deflections, you see the ideological blindness. Self reflection just isn't possible in the hug box of ideological purity feminism has built for itself.
           
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        • Billy Plante · Top Commenter · Port Colborne, Ontario
          So to sum up

          You insulted an entire group of people. They got a little upset and made comments about what you said. Now you're butthurt and trying to act like the victim?

          When you're done attempting to appease your feminist overlords and actually take a moment to look at the issues men face and what the MRM is actually doing about it, let me know. Until then, please leave the discussion for the adults.
             
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