Geek and Misandry

Anonymous asked: My aunt just posted a misogynistic meme that reads: "it's a mans job to respect a woman but it's a woman's job to give him something to respect" and I'm so fucking irritated and it's heart breaking to see my family with so much internalized misogyny.

geekandmisandry:

Ahhh yes, put the responsibility on women to be treated as humans.

uppity-broad:

geekandmisandry:

enaronia:

geekandmisandry:

enaronia:

Don’t be silly.

That’s definitely not what “respect” means there.

My eyes just widened. Are you implying… Gross stuff??

I… guess?
But not like you seem to be thinking.

I was just being snarky, not making any kind of statement or hinting at/suggesting/explaining anything you don’t already know. I suspect you’re actually more familiar with this stuff than I am.

I just meant, y’know, that kind of “respect for women” stuff isn’t really related to treating them like humans, since it’s pretty clearly about treating them differently than the Standard Model Human/men. It’s, what’s a word, paternalistic?
A strange interpretation of chivalry?
An obsession with who opens doors for whom?

Oh phew, I thought I had wildly misunderstood. What you are saying makes sense.

Social psychologists call that type of “respect” benevolent sexism. It means that women are viewed in a positive but paternalistic and idealized way, like angelic, delicate creatures in need of protection, who exist to meet men’s needs for sex and emotional intimacy. Women who violate gender role expectations, especially the expectation of male dominance, are treated to hostile sexism. geekandmisandry has posted some delightful examples from Anons of late. Together, benevolent and hostile sexism form ambivalent sexism, which is the most common, modern form of sexism that we need to contend with these days. It’s insidious because if you don’t know what benevolent sexism looks like, you could mistake it for actual respect. But that so-called respect is contingent on meeting men’s needs and expectations. One slip up and you see the hostile side of the coin. Very confusing for many women who have been taught to think that benevolent sexism is actually positive, and the hostility is warranted by their own misdeeds. And confusing for the rest of us, too, because the existence of benevolent sexism can make us question the intentions of any man who treats us well.