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"We should slow down" (self.TheBluePill)

RybosWorld が 投稿

I posted this exact same text to r/asktrp. I got some advice that was in line with my thoughts on the situation (and some that wasn't). I wanted to honestly ask the bluepillers what their thoughts are on my situation. Apologies if this is the wrong place for this post - my goal is to really just compare the answers I receive (although I admittedly lean redpill).

Text as follows:

"Would you mind if we took some time off?"

How does one handle a situation where a girl says something along these lines? A girl I've been seeing for about a month said this to me last night and I went with the agree and amplify strategy. We decided we wouldn't talk again until Sunday, at which point we would reassess things.

Did I do the right thing here by telling her that "I agree things are moving too fast. We've kind of been hanging out a little too much"

Is there a better way for me to handle this situation? Should I drop things altogether?

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[–]luridlurkerObserving the Dick Derby 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Would you mind if we took some time off?"

Sounds like she's not that into you, so I don't see much of a point in pushing the issue. If you manage to say something that keeps you two from taking a break, you'll probably just end up right back at this point again in the not too far off future.

Work on having healthy self esteem so you don't feel the need to play games to avoid rejection. Rejection happens, and it's not some slight against you. It's best to move on so you have a better chance of finding someone that's actually super into you.

[–]IwillpixiecutyouAnd I assume you lift. 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agree with this.

This is the way I've learned to look at relationships; if you are not with someone who is stoked to be with you, you are always depriving 4 people (minimum) with finite lives from having a relationship that is the most awesome possible;

  • There's you who are not that great to this person.

  • There's the person who WOULD think you are freaking great who is still out there (maybe in the same lame situation you are as we speak, or just plain lonely and wishing she could meet someone like you).

  • There's the girl you're dating who is not that into you (I.E. not that stoked about the things you committed to doing and thinking about I.E. not very compatible).

  • There's the person she would be interested in who is still out there (again the butterfly effect of them having a lame relationship or lonely).

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you're either young or otherwise newish to dating. People don't "appreciate you later"; They fundamentally stay the same person and will never be thaaaat stoked about you (and honestly you were never as stoked as you could be about them.)

The best relationship is the one where you are super excited this person exists on the planet and they feel the same way.

Since that is possible, why are you cheating yourself? Why are you effing up other's getting the most out of their lives by clinging to the wrong person? If you look at the effect of dating the wrong person and how far that ripple goes, it doesn't make logical sense to date the people who are not emphatically excited you exist and are in their lives.

Once I got very clear on this and committed to finding it or bust, I found that person for myself. Anything less than that is fluff and you could be doing something better with your time (I say as I feed my reddit addiction...but yes. You get what I'm saying).

I somewhat doubt this advice is going to be what you want to hear or are inclined to follow through with, but I hope it may have made sense and gotten through to you. There are plenty of books and videos targeted at women saying "get any guy you want! Catch him and keep him!" Women get the same terrible advice to try to do social skill jedi voodoo and try to constantly use formulatic nonsense to trick people into barely staying; that is a LOT of work and it is simply not how compatibility works, will not escape the problem I've outlined, and will not make anyone particularly happy.

Recommended reading: Meeting Your Half Orange, recommended life change, stop believing TRP. It is bullshit which flies in the face of your intellectual potential (translation: it is stupid), rational thought, logic, and ability to find and comprehend sound science, all on the spastically flapping wings of male supremecy magical thinking.

Finally, start asking yourself how you want to feel in your ideal relationship and not for a description of what your ideal person will be like. Change your focus; Is this how you want to feel? No it is not. Make a definitive list of how you want to feel in the relationship you want to experience before you inevitably die, and look for those feelings.

Good luck.

[–]Birdsiscool 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agreed. It's hard to say with little context, but it sounds like she gave it a fair shot but she's just not really feeling it so she's trying to break things off gently.

If all you want is to get in her pants, you might be able to make that happen. If you want more than sex, you're better off moving on.

[–]quantumtrollening 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd just answer the question. She's asking if you would mind. So, is that something that'd bother you? If so, say that. Is it something about which you'd be indifferent? If so, say that.

The point of relationships is to relax and have fun. If you're applying strategies to your conversations and stressing so much over a simple question that you're asking about it in several online communities, you're doing it wrong.

[–]platitudypusSensual Jew Whisperer 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're getting a lot of good advice here, but keep in mind that TBP is a satire subreddit, not an alternate philosophy to TRP. You may get more responses in /r/relationships.

[–]GlaiveThrower 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I guess this girl doesn't want to do the rybo

[–]wiibiiz 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If that's not how you feel, you shouldn't have said it. On the path you're going down you are most likely going to lose the relationship anyways, so you might as well be true to yourself. I hope you don't internalize all the "she's found her Chad Thundercock" bs-- sometimes relationships don't work out, end of story. I will say that this reaction you've come to on whether or not you've said is indicative of a problem I often see in younger people's relationships where they become so insecure/anxious about what the other person thinks of them that they believe the only way they can stay with them is constantly change and filter themselves for the other person's approval (most RPers never overcome this). If you feel like that describes you, you need to either find a way around the problem or just leave, because you WILL end up hating yourself. In essence, you're saying that you aren't a good enough person on your own merits to be with this person, who clearly matters to you because you're staying with her even though being with her is a constant source of fear and insecurity. Again, not saying this is the problem, simply giving some insight. Some relationships can't be saved by good communication, but most of them can be killed by bad communication.

[–]lilyinbloom 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's over. I'm sorry. It hurts sometimes, but "take a break" is the easy way of saying "it's not working."

But don't let her be a symbol of her entire gender. One human being on a very large planet isn't buying your stock anymore. There are billions of other women.

You know how TRP is all don't put dat pussy on a pedestal? There's some truth to that. Human beings should not put human beings on pedestals. We do when we're in love with someone who doesn't want us back. You need to try to focus on other things and push her out of your mind, as hard as it may be.

[–]reditoria 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"no problem, have fun :)"

[–]Redwine_and_DoritoesI deserve blowjobs and soup -1ポイント0ポイント  (4子コメント)

You should drop things altogether so she can go on and find a real man.

[–]Amberleaf29self improvement to the (lotto) max 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think that was a bit uncalled for; this guy may be TRP but it doesn't help our reputation as TBP as a whole if we drive all red pillers away with insults, especially since this guy is being polite.

[–]Redwine_and_DoritoesI deserve blowjobs and soup 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Fair enough.

I'll amend my comment:

I think after a month, she smells the redpill bullshit on him and is politely telling him she isn't interested. He thinks using A&A as some sort of mind game to get her interested will work (since that's redpill) when all he did was agree it's time to move on; she has no interest nor investment in him.

redpill tactic: it would be best if he let her go to find a real man.

Better?

[–]Birdsiscool 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not sure that's a fair assessment. A quick scan of OP's post history revealed:

Its an r/theredpill thing. I'll save you some time so you don't have to go there - its a bunch of social rejects who claim they are "enlightened" for realizing they're socially inept and blame all their issues on women

[–]Redwine_and_DoritoesI deserve blowjobs and soup 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was going by the very little information presented. I didn't lurk his posting history.

Did he do the right thing, like he asked? That's up to him to decide if that's what he wants with this girl. He agreed with her, told her okay and come back and reassess later. That wasn't "wrong".

BUT he thinks he was using A&A, for whatever reason... like redpill says to do. Intentional mind game == time to move on.

[–]HotDogKnightsWhite Knight -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

First of all, I don't consider myself a bluepiller. I consider myself a sane guy that thinks of women as human beings.

Without any context here, it's hard to give advice. What does she mean by "take some time off"? Does she mean that you've been hanging out constantly for the past month, so she needs some time to do her laundry and catch up with her friends? Or does she mean that she wants to put a pause button on the relationship as a whole?

[–]RybosWorld[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

She specifically said she wants to spend more time with her friends and that her friends and me have been getting too involved.

[–]juniperbunch 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Would you mind describing your relationship and interactions with any of her friends, please? It might help provide more insight into what she said.

[–]RybosWorld[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I got along really good with her friends and she repeatedly told me that they liked me a lot. I never hung out with any of them when I wasn't with her, though.