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Had sex with my cousinnoregrets (self.confession)

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[–]jayesanctus 106ポイント107ポイント  (46子コメント)

I get that incest is taboo and taboo can be attractive.

But I don't get reddit's obsession with incest.

Whether anyone wants to admit it, fucking a family member is red-necky as fuck, backwards as fuck, and all around kinda' gross.

And there are real world consequences, beyond just 'mom and dad' finding out. Shame in the community, in the workplace. Some employers might just let you go.

I know I'll be punished for speaking up against incest by the community, and to me, that's like...the weirdest thing of all. Not only are many of you really down with incest, you're militant about it. As if there isn't another side to the story.

There are so many other people out there in the world to have sex with...why copulate within your family tree? Is Christmas not awkward enough yet?

OP, you're an adult, you have to realize what you're doing is messed up and could have repercussions. Some things are fun to think about in the dirty part in the back of your head, but if you want to be pilloried in the community, (and really cause some problems for your cousin and your family name) then keep doing what you're doing.

[–]chriskicks 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not outright against it. It doesn't physically affect me. Ive met someone torn between feelings for a relative and respecting taboo, i do feel bad for them. But as you said, and i completely agree, there are so many repercussions that you have to consider because when you're dating in your own gene pool you really are bringing the whole family into that messy situation.

[–]showmeyourprivates 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

We all have our own views. Personally, I don't see much wrong with it. The reasons it can be problematic are mostly society-based. People judging you for something that doesn't actually harm anyone. And, that has always been kinda a dumb thing.

[–]capilot 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cousins are a grey area. It's only legally considered incest in about half of the states. In most of the world, cousins are ok, and in some cultures, it's encouraged.

[–]WellHello87 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

It comes down to this.

To most people family is more of a feeling, thus for OP he hadn't seen this cousin in years so had lost the family bond with her. I have friends that I consider family to the point that I wouldn't have sex with them. And I have cousins I only see every few years that i would LOVE to have sex with. Not only because they're attractive but because theres also that taboo to it.

[–]waytoogeneric 18ポイント19ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow, did not think I'd see a sane response in this thread. Someone had to say it. Thank you for this.

[–]scottevil110 23ポイント24ポイント  (26子コメント)

It's not passionate defense of incest. It's passionate defense of letting people do what they want with their lives. If someone isn't hurting someone else, then yeah I'm going to defend someone who wants to bang their cousin just as much as I'm going to defend a gay couple or someone who just wants to get high at home.

It's their business, and trying to give someone shit for it is just as shameful as telling someone they're disgusting for being gay.

You're not providing them any new information. They know that if people find out, they're going to be weird about it and that it could have repercussions. But what's funny is that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's only true if the people in their lives are as non-understanding as you are.

[–]jayesanctus 7ポイント8ポイント  (25子コメント)

Equating homosexuality to incest is a forced equivalency.

The two are not the same.

Genetically a person can be predisposed to being attracted to the same sex. Science bears this out.

Genetically you are not predisposed to bang your cousin/sister/mother/daughter. Science also bears this out.

There is literally no one born with the genetic predisposition that they are only attracted to family and are disgusted at the thought of not having sex with a family member.

Regardless of how you feel, they will not, in any way, be the start of an 'incest revolution,' where suddenly its ok and everyone is fine with it. He'll fuck up his life, his family name, and her life.

That's pragmatic reality, and that's the difference between tumblr and real life.

Yeah, I'm non-understanding about people wanting to fuck family members. I have no problem stating that. That doesn't make me closed minded.

It means I'm not cool with fucking family members.

And just because I won't screw a family member doesn't mean there is something wrong with me.

You know what's funny? I've read and heard a lot about the trope 'its only bad for _______ because of the social stigma/social reaction.' in terms of incest and pedophilia.

I worked with the sexually abused.

And I'm telling you that trope is bullshit. When you fuck with the family dynamic and introduce sexual intimacy where it doesn't belong, it changes things, it can hurt people, its not good for the individual and can/will damage the fabric of the family.

Yep, these people are adults. And maybe if they do it secretly, everything will be (relatively) fine. But their family will be changed, forever no matter who finds out.

Promoting incest on a societal basis is just not a good idea. In fact, its a lousy, fucked up idea that can destabilize families, which are the bedrock of modern society.

You know what's a good idea? Fucking people who aren't in your family.

Seriously...wtf.

[–]scottevil110 27ポイント28ポイント  (19子コメント)

Genetically you are not predisposed to bang your cousin/sister/mother/daughter. Science also bears this out.

So? I don't get it either, but I'm pretty sure they're not making up being attracted to each other. If they are, they are, and it really makes zero difference to me why. But since you brought it up, you're wrong anyway. What you're referring to is the Westermarck effect, and it only applies to people that you actually grow up with. You become desensitized to CLOSE family members. If you run across a hot cousin that you haven't seen in a decade, your dick has no idea that that's your cousin.

Regardless of how you feel, they will not, in any way, be the start of an 'incest revolution,' where suddenly its ok and everyone is fine with it.

Not my problem. That's for them to deal with. But you're only strengthening the parallel with homosexuality. "It's nasty because everyone says it's nasty."

It means I'm not cool with fucking family members.

That's fine. That's your right. I'm not into it either, but it's none of my business if someone else wants to. I'm not into cilantro either and I can't fathom how anyone could like it, but I'm not gonna tell you you're twisted if you like it.

Promoting incest on a societal basis is just not a good idea.

Again, not promoting incest. I'm promoting leaving people the fuck alone and letting them do what they want.

You don't have to be cool with it, but I think you're wrong if you're trying to claim that it's not parallel to being "morally opposed" to homosexuality. Your entire post could basically be used verbatim by an evangelical group protesting gay marriage.

"It will destroy the fabric of the family." "It's not natural." "If people find out, it will ruin their lives (again, ironic because that's only true if people are like you)." "Society will never be okay with this."

Seriously, I'm pretty sure all of that stuff has been on a Westboro picket sign at some point.

[–]jayesanctus -3ポイント-2ポイント  (18子コメント)

You're being intellectually dishonest and you know it. At the very least disingenuous, and you're smart enough to know better.

You're putting words into my mouth, and then hating them there.

Your entire post could basically be used verbatim by an evangelical group protesting gay marriage. "It will destroy the fabric of the family." "It's not natural." "If people find out, it will ruin their lives (again, ironic because that's only true if people are like you)." "Society will never be okay with this." Seriously, I'm pretty sure all of that stuff has been on a Westboro picket sign at some point.

So, the part where I stated that there is a genetic predisposition to homosexuality could be used by an evangelical group or the Westboro church?

That's so dishonest its frightening.

I'm all for leaving people alone, but at the same time, there are legitimate genetic reasons to not condone incest.

You are smart enough to understand the reprecussions of inbreeding. Maybe not in this case, as 1st cousins intermarrying is rather innocuous, but in general...you know I'm right. That...isn't up for debate. Inbreeding has detrimental genetic consequences. Do I really have to elucidate the consequences of a closed genetic line.

So, where do you draw the line. You're cool with it in general? So if mom wants to jerk off son, that's fine, too? Father/daughter? Or will we only draw the line at cousins? 1st cousins ok, but not after 3 generations when genetic issues start to crop up?

But before you delve into that, please clarify how when I said

Genetically a person can be predisposed to being attracted to the same sex. Science bears this out.

...that this is something that could be construed as to appear on a Westboro baptists sign.

Because, if you were being honest, you would know that is something that would NEVER appear in the context you specified.

That's some bush-league debate. That's intellectually dishonest bullshit, and honestly, if you knew my background in LGBT rights, that's fucked up and insulting.

If you want to engage on a libertarian debate as to why incest is fine, then by all means, extol the positive virtues of incest and how society should accept it without reserve.

I'm all ears. Where do you draw the line? Anyone can fuck anyone? Is that cool?

[–]scottevil110 9ポイント10ポイント  (17子コメント)

So, the part where I stated that there is a genetic predisposition to homosexuality could be used by an evangelical group or the Westboro church?

No, because the analogy I'm drawing is between your opposition to incest and their opposition to homosexuality. I'm not accusing you of being anti-gay. I'm saying that your claim that there is a genetic predisposition against incest (which is, again, incorrect) is analogous to their claims that being gay is unnatural.

I'm not saying that because you oppose incest that you must oppose homosexuality. I'm saying that the logic you're employing to oppose incest is exactly the same logic that others use to oppose homosexuality. They claim that it goes against nature, etc. etc.

If you want to engage on a libertarian debate as to why incest is fine, then by all means, extol the positive virtues of incest and how society should accept it without reserve.

You misunderstand libertarianism. I don't have to think something is positive in order to support someone else's right to do it and be left alone. That's the part of libertarianism that's so insanely difficult for so many people to understand, that if I don't personally benefit from something or understand it, then how on Earth could I possibly be okay with someone ELSE enjoying it?

Anyone can fuck anyone? Is that cool?

Yes. Exactly. It is exactly zero of my business whom you fuck or why.

I understand the argument about being concerned for potential offspring, but that's the only possible argument that could begin to hold any water, because you could argue that it actually has an impact on a third, unwilling party. But even still, it's a poor reason for opposing any two given people who happen to be attracted to each other.

We don't consider it disgusting to be attracted to someone with a known hereditary deformity, that would almost certainly be passed onto a child. We don't even insult those who act on the attraction. We simply say "Be careful not to have a kid, because it'll probably be fucked up, and that's not fair."

Why can the same simply not apply here? Maybe one of these people is sterile. If that's the case, then your only valid reason for opposing their attraction falls completely apart.

[–]jrdy_rq 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can you cite any of your claims about science using a reputable journal? Because otherwise I'm going to assume you don't know what you are talking about.

[–]the_poodleo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can I just say that neither sides arguments fully cover this? It's situational.

[–]PhonyUsername -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

Genetically a person can be predisposed to being attracted to the same sex.

Source?

[–]jayesanctus -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Really? Start here.

[–]PhonyUsername 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

A simple and singular determinant for sexual orientation has not been conclusively demonstrated; various studies point to different, even conflicting positions, but scientists hypothesize that a combination of genetic, hormonal, and social factors determine sexual orientation.

Did you even read it?

[–]wzdew 11ポイント12ポイント  (5子コメント)

I understand where you're coming from, but realize that the bulk of your reasoning against it is pure judgement and not actual reasoning.

Whether anyone wants to admit it, fucking a family member is red-necky as fuck, backwards as fuck, and all around kinda' gross.

Red-necky, backwards, and gross is very subjective.

Redneck is a pejorative social term that targets class as being an issue. While you may feel it's not classy, such judgement has no relation on sex between to individuals, regardless of their genetic relationship.

Backwards is a pejorative social term that targets queer groups (non-normative groups). Being non-normative is not reason to abstain. It's just another form of closeting.

Gross shows personal disgust, which is not applicable to 3rd parties. It applies to you and you only.

there are real world consequences, beyond just 'mom and dad' finding out. Shame in the community, in the workplace. Some employers might just let you go.

Social shaming is a product of maintaining a normative construct. It's peer pressure, which is not a valid reason to abstain from something you enjoy. It's another form of closeting.

The threat of job loss is not a reason to abstain from a relationship. It's a coercion tactic to enforce the social norm. A relationship with your cousin has no bearing on the workplace. Even though there would be little to no protection under law, such an action by an employer is discriminatory in nature and should not be supported.

There are so many other people out there in the world to have sex with...why copulate within your family tree?

If you have a job now, you wouldn't toss it out for a potential better job in the future. You'd play it out and if something better comes along, then you make the decision on whether you'd like to switch jobs.

From your POV, youd pass up an incestual relationship because you're not into it. It's not an option for you, so you'd go for something that suits you better. In OP's case, it's an option for him/her, so he took it.

You're an adult, you have to realize what you're doing is messed up and could have repercussions

It's messed up to you. I think it's pretty clear OP made a perfectly valid adult decision. Because OP is an adult, they deserve some deference and respect, even if you disagree with their course of action or are disgusted by it.

You made no valid arguments in your post.

The only valid argument I've heard against incest overall is potential genetic malformations in the offspring of the couple. This can be managed with birth control, non-vaginal intercourse, and in the worst case scenario, the morning after pill or an abortion.

I understand the feelings of disgust and such, but realize these two people feel very different than you. They may not meet your standard, but they meet their own. Social repercussions can and will happen, but that's always been the case, whether it's an interracial relationship or a same-sex one. It's not a reason to stop doing what makes you happy.

[–]boner_sauce 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

So well said! People and their social conformity. If they think it's wrong, it must be wrong. Ug.

[–]officerha 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Some cultures prefer cousin marriages. Real life problem with cousins only happen of cousins are getting married in every generation. I think it takes about 4 generations of cousin marriages to actually have abnormal offspring. I grew up in a culture where cousin marriage is a norm. I would never get married to my cousin because of that slight chance of retarded offspring. But it's not icky or nasty in our culture. The fiancé is from a family who gets married in cousins majority of the time. And I can tell you one thing for certain, they are really smart. More than half of her cousins are doctors. Two of my fiancé cousins got married to each other. One is a doctor. The other one is an engineer. So who knows what kind of real life problems this will cause. My point is that it's not all grossed out like you are making it out to be. Every one have different opinions. My opinion is from my personal experience.

[–]cha0smaker69 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You obviously are not a Targarian or Lanister

[–]Troy0McClure 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Tell that to 10,000 years of royal families.

[–]PrettyLegitimate 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Many of which had some serious physical and mental disabilities as a result.

[–]jayesanctus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

King Phillip of Spain.

[–]MusicMagi 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reddit is a microcosm of the world, not a detached society. You need replace "reddit" with "people"

[–]highideas -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is not just reddit. Look at all the porn sites and it will eventually be mom and son and aunt and nephew shit. I agree it is gross and has real worl consequences if children are produced.

[–]Riov -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Youre just like your mother