I am a father of two beautiful twin girls. Read my personal experience, and you will see why it is common.

I am not going to sugar coat this. And what you will read will be no exaggeration. These are simply facts from my life. I am not leaving out some detail that somehow excuses the mother for her actions.

I got my ex girlfriend pregnant. It was a long distance relationship. She is a RN, and works in a labor and delivery unit, and used to educate women on proper birth control usage. I am a respiratory therapist, and worked in the NICU at the same hospital. I took a contract at a hospital in another state, but we actually became more serious during the long distance part of the relationship.

She stopped taking her birth control, and didn't tell me. This is why I have fraternal twins. Because she was hyper ovulating when we had sex. I was not informed at all. I had been seeing her for over a year, and we had a great deal of trust for each other. I trusted her with the protected sex portion of our relationship, rightfully so since she was an expert and took her oral med at the same time every day since I knew her.

As soon as she got pregnant, she informed me of three things. First she told me she was pregnant. I asked about the birth control, she told me she had stopped taking it. Her excuse was "I was gonna switch to another kind and didn't think it was a big deal". This coming from an RN working in a women's center and who educated women on the pitfalls of birth control. After telling me she was pregnant, she told me she didn't want to be with me. Then she told me to not worry, her mom and dad will take care of everything, that I should just go away. She told me " I will never come after you for child support". I was confused. I was in love with her, and thought she was as well, she had told me a million times. I was begging her to not throw me away. I asked her to marry me. I was literally laughed at. Mind you, I am 6'4, 245 pds, good looking with a great career. I have been lifting weights for over 13 years. I am not pond scum. I was so confused that I rationalized all this as her being in shock. I figured in a month or so she would come around.

My reaction was very simple. I was going to be the man my mother raised. Within one month I quite my contract, paid back the bonus, got a new place to live back in her hometown, and a new job at a new hospital. That is not easy. I sent her flowers, and gifts. I begged her to be with me. After about 6 months into the pregnancy it became clear, she had an agenda. She had her mother move in with her. She had her father(her parents are divorced) running all her errands and doing everything for her. I was totally heart broken, and scared out of my mind. She made it very clear she wanted me completely out of the picture. And she passively did things, and said things that sent shivers down my spine.

I had no say in what their names are. And I was the last person she had contacted when they where born. I begged to be there for their first breath, and to cut their cords. I was so excited to be a father, despite it not being with her and a family unit. When they where born, she barely let me see them at the hospital when they where in a NICU for a week. People both of us worked with where embarrassed for me. Some people couldn't look at me because they felt so bad for me. The nurses and Doctors knew me, and where heart broken telling me I can't come in to see them because mom said no.

Now, she kept me off the birth certificate for a reason. It keeps me from having any rights at all. And she gets to make the decision. A woman has this power outside marriage. And it is a tactic recommended by shady lawyers to set up a mom to take complete advantage of the father and destroy him. Without my name on the BC, it would buy her almost over a year of time to avoid custody decisions by a judge. To give you some perspective, after a year and a half in court the only thing ironed out is child support. I still don't have respective court orders for visitation, and definitely not custody.

Now before your minds run crazy with what ifs, I am a licensed professional in two states. Have no arrest record. Served in the military. There is absolutely no reason to keep me off the birth certificate. I even called the hospital, and talked to a social worker to get my name on it. And I was told, it is up to the mom.

Now, at this point baby momma is pissed that I didn't go away. This is not what was in her plans. So, she stepped her game up. When I would visit them as babies, I would go every other day for hours, or as long as I was allowed to see them. I would literally sit there and hold my daughters while her, her mom, her brother, and her father would mock me. They would laugh at me. They would poke fun at any little thing I did, demeaning me and belittling me. I was called horrible names, to the point I started recording my visits. When they found out, they would make faces, and stand 2 inches away from me. They would literally take turns sitting right across from me staring at me. I had gotten a lawyer, and was waiting for court to hear my case. I wanted to establish visitation, child support, and custody. Until the courts heard my case, I had to abide by her decisions.

To make this story as short as possible, I will sum things up as much as possible. It wasn't enough that I was a veteran of the US Army, It wasn't enough that I took care of babies in a neonatal intensive care unit, and it wasn't enough that I was a stand up citizen in society with nothing on my record besides a speeding ticket. I had to go to two months of classes, in a room full of moms with ankle bracelets on. I had to go to a seminar. And I had to pay a lot of money. This was all just so the court could see me as remotely fit to be a father. It was the most humiliating experience up till that point. To be considered as much of a burden as drug dealers and hookers.

Now, my daughters are 17 months old. I bought a crib when they where born, that I have never used. My child support was assessed off pay checks that had 30 extra hours of overtime, so I was paying over a grand a month in CS. I was going broke, and had a lawyer to pay. She has broken three court orders, and has never been held in contempt of court. My lawyer, who is a woman, explained that they don't like doing that to mothers because it could backlash onto the kids. She also explained to me a whole myriad of tricks that Lawyers pull when representing mothers. A lot of family law lawyers don't like to represent fathers because it is so depressing and such a losing battle. Representing moms is big business though and easy.

She took me to court over my dogs. One of them is a pitbull. It was a service dog at one time, that was used to help kids, and elderly in California. My pitbull was also used in a club that rescued other pitbulls to help socialize them, because she was so calm and even tempered. I had all of this proof presented to the Judge, including video's of my pitbull around a group of kids at a park. Baby Momma wanted the dog completely off the property for me to see them in my home. And she got it. Despite the fact I have a detached garage with a kennel, a huge back yard, and am a responsible pet owner with all kinds of vet records. The judge ruled in her favor. So now, I have to find a babysitter for my dog, to have my kids at my house.

I have had holidays canceled. I went to the sheriffs department last Thanksgiving with a court order for my 4 hour visit to be up held. The Sheriffs department tried to get her to comply, but she wouldn't. Even with a sheriff at her house, telling her to follow the court order. She refused. He did nothing, because who is gonna arrest a mother that provides milk for her kids right? I was denied my new years day visit. She wouldn't let me have both at the same time until this January. Only after her second lawyer(fired her first lawyer because she told her she needs to follow court orders) recommended doing so to show the Judge she was "Child focused co parenting".

When I pick up my daughters, they reach out for me. Happy to see me. She will jerk them away, turn them, and hug and squeeze them. She will not hand them over until they are crying. Every time I pick up my girls for visitation, my heart breaks watching this routine. She and her mother are trying to train them to see me and be confused, or scared. They don't like the fact that my daughters are happy to see me.

In 2014, I paid 12k in CS. Not including hospital fees. I paid 8k in court and lawyer fees. When she started receiving CS, she went out and bought a brand new 2015 Toyota 4runner. 4 months later, she bought a 185k house 30 minutes away from me. Now, my 4 hour visits are just 3, due to driving time. Having a baby with a man that makes 50k a year is a big payday.

Right now, I am working two full time jobs. I work 72 hours a week, 12 hour shifts 5 days a week. I spend average 10 hours a week with my girls.

On average, men in my situation will see the court room 50 times before my kids are 18 years old. I am going to spend enough money to put them both through a very nice college.

The amount of power mothers have over fathers is simply disgusting. It is a horror show.

I have no future. No woman would ever date me, or consider me as potential to be a husband. For many reasons that are obvious, but also because all women know how much power mothers have, and that they don't want to be dragged into court along with me. No woman in her right mind would consider a single father that is fighting to see his kids. Her is a video of me and my daughters about a week ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc0-npdPILQ

I love them. I have almost lost my mind, soul, and dignity.