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Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

FIFA Assures Fans Investigation Won’t Affect 2022 Qatar Slush Fund

ZURICH—Stressing that soccer’s international governing body will continue to conduct business as usual in the face of high-profile fraud charges, FIFA officials assured the public Friday that the ongoing U.S. Department of Justice investigation will in no way affect the 2022 Qatar slush fund.
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Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria
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Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported. “Is the game on at 4 or 8?” said the misogynistic prick, who clearly believes that women are inferior athletes to men and therefore do not deserve an opportunity to participate in major athletic competitions such as the Women’s World Cup. “It’s on Fox, right? Not Fox Sports 1?” The disgusting woman-hater then reportedly questioned whether Team USA’s offense could get its act together in time for the knockout rounds.

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