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Self/OpinionDealing with Anger (self.AsianMasculinity)

iloveliterature が 投稿

Hello, I've been lurking this sub for 5-6 months, read the Basics page, etc. There's a lot of truth in many of these discussions that have been extremely difficult for me to swallow (ex. bamboo ceiling and asian males living at a disadvantage in the Anglo-sphere). When first discovering this sub, I took all of these discussions with a grain of salt in my Uncle-Chan-ish ways, but now I've come to see that there's a lot of truth in these discussions as I'm now witnessing them in my real life interactions with people.

I'm 19 years old and just completed my first year at a big southern university. I'm short, 5'6", love to workout/eat healthy and have a few hobbies (golf, singing), and not a virgin.

I've been trying relentlessly, everyday to become the best man that I can be by following the advice both given in here and TRP. I've had a lot of success thus far, but in the back of my mind I can't help but think "I'll never be good ENOUGH due to the shortcomings of my race and height". When I have these thoughts I just have this anger that lingers on my mind. I know that I have to play my best with the cards that I'm dealt with, and it doesn't stop me from pursuing success in all aspects of my life.

However, I just want to ask you all, have any of you gone through this emotional state similar to mine, and if so, what can I do to diminish this anger before it leads to any self-destruction?

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[–]Paperdealer 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Coming from someone whose been through depressive states, anger is a form of strength.

Generally speaking change is effected by people who are angry (not sad) with the current status quo.

How you use this anger is up to you, I have a lot of family members and it drives me crazy thinking that some of the day to day shit they go through is attributed in a large way to their race.

First I go about trying to teach them what exactly is going on, the ones I have spoken to are pretty receptive. They can kind of see whats happening already but for various reasons make a point of shutting up and bearing it. When I talk first, it almost seems like it gives them permission to be more open about it.

Secondly, I don't really know why but my family have an issue with speaking up about a problem even if it is the easiest way to solve the issue, (just ignore it, that's just how life is etc).

I basically coach them through what to do, admittedly they know how to walk the way themselves and all i do is give them a little nudge through the front door, but I think they find a lot of comfort in the fact that I am willing to meet those people, make phone calls and email if they don't feel up to it.

so far I am batting 3 for 3, not much but i only started this shit a couple weeks ago.

Heh, I ramble but my point is, you are supposed to be angry, use it don't suppress it.

In the end, its up to you how you use your anger, obviously doing positive things is best. But hey if you weren't angry you'd be sad and sad people are the ones who commit suicide and most people would much prefer it if you and all the other asian bros didn't do that.

[–]Disciple888 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Generally speaking change is effected by people who are angry (not sad)

Word. LET IT FLOW THRU YOU

[–]chinesethrowaway222 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

ANGER IS GOOD.

ANGER FORCES YOU TO CONFRONT ISSUES IN REALITY.

All this self-improvement masturbation is just hiding the reality that AAs have NO POWER IN REALITY IN SOCIETY. AAs realize they have no power, which is why they don't bother changing the outside world (reality) and force their anger inwards (self-improvement, self-hatred, etc).

[–]Paperdealer 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I totally agree, the uncle chan who works on self improvement with the sole goal of proving himself worthy to white people ("not all asians are like that") repulses me.

They look down on and see other asians as competition for the attention of their white mastas.

I wonder do they know that as long as they continue to dance to the western worlds tune, no matter how hard they work and self improve, their blood, sweat and tears and that of their families will always be worth less than that of their white "brothers".

[–]countercom2 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

I was probably born in a fusion reactor.

I have an intense rage to begin with and I channel it to create the reality I want.

Also, I don't believe in forgiveness. I used to but I realized it's bullshit. You ever notice this "advice" comes from the same white people who benefit the most from forgiveness, continually fuck people over with sanctimonious hypocrisy, and "forgive" run away Black slaves by killing their whole crew, pearl harbor with fire bombing and 2 nuclear bombs (1.2 million dead), and 9/11 (if it's even true) with genocide in the Middle East (well over 1 million dead in Iraq alone) ?

They want forgiveness?

[–]Chinaiherdulikepsydukz 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fuck forgiveness

[–]ragerdat 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

They want forgiveness?

This is why i dont blame blacks for their present state in the USA. Why do you think black men are the most institutionalized? Cause they can see the game is rigged and they do what they can to make it on their own. All these race riots are a good thing in my mind. The oppression is real. Burn that mutherfucker down.

[–]wheelssss 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you can't get out of the South for the foreseeable long term future, move to Houston.

[–]ntran2 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes come to me. Come enlist in my ranks!

[–]PhilippinesEvolved_Red 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

For these last 8 years, anger has been my strength.

Ironically, I've gone further in my personal growth and career aspirations than between the ages of 17-26.

Many people will say it's because it's experience. Yes sure it is, experience by seeing how may times I've been fucked over, been passed over, and feeling I was never good enough.

There are only two ways to combat this. Lie down and accept this is life, or get up and fight back.

Anger is a great motivational tool, just dont let it consume you.

[–]ldw1988 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Anger is productive if you are a sane human being. I started lifting partly because I wanted to represent for Asian men and get strong as fuck. I can honestly tell you that I would not have had the success I did without the burning drive that this "chip on my shoulder" helped create

[–]ragerdat 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

No its good to have anger. The problem usually arises when you cant channel that anger into productivity, this in turn leads to a life full of self doubt and even depression.

You need to find an outlet to convert these emotions into positive use.

[–]joelstean 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I see a lot of people telling you to gtfo of the south. As a guy who grew up in the south and has never had an issue finding friends, dating both white and Asian girls, and experiencing only one case of overt racism, I'd strongly suggest that you examine your life and surroundings and determine if your environment is holding you back. If you think it is then by all means, do what you gotta do.

Good luck, bud.

[–]ntran2 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

People have this preconceive notion that the South is a super racist hub and it's extremely oppressive. In Texas it is not a huge issue, there is a large Asian demographic and such cities as Austin or San Antonio is full of liberal college minded people that almost any one could fit in.

Outside of Texas, Florida is a pretty mixed state, northern Florida will be generally more low income and high income communities with predominant white majority. Central and Southern is more of a latin culture due to being so close to Cuba, Puerto Rico, etc. These areas are pretty accepting of Asian people, there are hardly any issue for a young Asian male to have a good time in Central/Southern Florida.

Louisiana has a large Asian population near and around New Orleans. There is a lot of Asian owned businesses and Asian fishermen in the area. These however tend to be poorer Vietnamese families as a result of the refugees from the war. The second generation either grew up and moved out or they assimilated into black cultures down in the South.

I can't speak for any other southern state because I never spent enough time there.

[–]Chinaiherdulikepsydukz 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

ehh

acknowledge that you are at a disadvantage because that liberates you

and then concoct a plan to get out of the south ASAP

[–]TaiwanMaryboRichard 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Anger is good. Use it.

[–]ChinaKevinL337 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Try focusing on some good things. Do some things you enjoy like hobbies. Realise the problems are there but don't let your world revolve around them. Height is something you can't change so focus on things you can. I find that I'm a lot happier when I'm not thinking about these things.

[–]Disciple888 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I disagree. You can either repress anger like a fragile soma head or use it to channel positive change for society and all Asians, particularly Asian men. If you're too lazy to set the streets on fire, the least you could do is donate to orgs that have our best interests at heart. Like this one, for example:

Media Action Network for Asian Americans

If you want to get more involved, you could even gasp volunteer!

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