About 3 months ago I swallowed. I canceled my gym membership. I started half-assing at work. I spent a lot of time hamstering. I will just call in sick and sit down with some snacks and netflix.

It really got me thinking. My mom taught me so much as a kid.

"Don't go out in the rain! You will catch a cold."

"You can have a cookie if you clean your room!"

"If you are a good person girls will like you!"

"Honey, I had to divorce your dad because biologically speaking, he is no longer a fit specimen or provider. You can visit him on Easter and Flag Day."

"I left some hot dogs in the fridge. Out with Chad tonight. -XOXO MOM"

And she was right. I stopped going out in inclement weather. And when I do, I wear two coats to lay one down in case a lady does not like the puddle on the curb. I clean my room and eat a cookie every weekend! And boy, I am going to be so nice to all the women. I have been working on my compliments and curtsies:

"M'lady, you would make a wonderful mother, with your kind spirit and flawless genetics."

"Miss, I want to compliment your reading skills!"

"Thanks for speaking to a lowly man as me! Which liberal and feminist politician should I vote for this November?"

It's really paying off dividends. Its that endgame. Some sweet woman, post wall, is going to really appreciate my soft teddy bear physique. My knowledge of modern social justice, knitting and the snack aisle will impress my lucky lady.

So that's my field report. How has the blue pill treated you so far?