上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 215

[–]Rbell613 75ポイント76ポイント  (15子コメント)

"Did you know in the state of California you can shoot a man if he enters your house without permission?"

[–]LeSTEMLibertarian 25ポイント26ポイント  (13子コメント)

California isn't a duty to retreat state?

[–]Imoutofideasfornames 32ポイント33ポイント  (10子コメント)

Only up until it's inside your home.

[–]LordDongler 118ポイント119ポイント  (9子コメント)

It

Oh, come on, even here in Texas we call them African Americans

[–]jberg93 52ポイント53ポイント  (1子コメント)

0-100 real quick

[–]Username_IV 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I love when racism is casual.

[–]T0mmyb6 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

Wait.. They aren't mudbloods?

[–]LordDongler 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

No, those are gingers

[–]jmg015 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

In most states you can shoot those where ever so long as you have your permit up to date

[–]SrpskaZemlja 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Aren't half of them mudcrips?

[–]ivquatch 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

So I herd you like mudkrips.

[–]acwarren492 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

at first I was slightly ashamed for laughing at this. Then I realized I was going to hell anyway.

[–]UlyssesSKrunk 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Duty to retreat generally doesn't apply to your house.

[–]xSPYXEx 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, as if anyone from California could even own a gun.

[–]TheNaughtyMonkey 67ポイント68ポイント  (19子コメント)

Based on my very limited sample of 5, IT engineers from Germany who visit Texas love: BBQ and going to the gun range.

Oh, and Europe? Even though they had never shot before, they were actually not bad.

[–]10greenbottles 91ポイント92ポイント  (16子コメント)

To be fair, we've spent so much of the last 300 years shooting our fellow Europeans, we've gotten pretty good at it.

[–]Nosrac88 33ポイント34ポイント  (12子コメント)

*we have spent forever shooting at our fellow Europeans.

[–]jedi_timelord 13ポイント14ポイント  (11子コメント)

Guns have been around forever.

[–]3inthebrowning 21ポイント22ポイント  (9子コメント)

You shoot bow and arrow which has been around for a long long time

[–]Nosrac88 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

And before that shooting rocks out of slings.

[–]Kogster 11ポイント12ポイント  (6子コメント)

There was once was an European. Then came another one. They declared war and started throwing rocks at each other.

[–]otisinthedark9 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

I was hoping for a limerick

[–]TheNaughtyMonkey 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

There once was a lone European

Then another came from the Aegean

They had no rapport

So started a war

From Portugal to the Crimean.

[–]AtomicSteve21 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

There was once was a European.
Then came another one.

Declared war over the Aegean,
'threw rocks because they lacked guns.

Edit: an European -> a.
None of this an historic business.

[–]hello-719 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Then they researched new and better ways to throw rocks at each other. They learned finances and banking so they could get the best, most expensive rocks to throw at each other. They explored the world, looking for exotic new locales in which to throw rocks at each other. Yet in those new places, they found their true calling: throwing rocks at natives.

[–]jpowell180 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

They're making a comeback in popularity due to their silence; a gunshot will attract Walkers, whereas arrows are silent, but deadly.

[–]acwarren492 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

the according to the internet, first firearm was invented in some commie place called "china" in the 1400s AD. But everyone knows that history started hundreds of years later, in 1776. So yes, guns have been around since the beginning of time.

[–]Dogpool 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

The difference, though, is that in American ghettos they shoot back at you.

[–]Username_IV 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shiiit? That's rough. But since i'm already going to hell, have an upvote.

[–]NorthtoYukon 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

Just be Careful of the old german who can shoot well

[–]acwarren492 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

or the 90 year old german plumber who fixes your shower with extensive knowledge of gas lines

[–]Adz02 25ポイント26ポイント  (1子コメント)

Redcoat here, did this when I hitchhiked the land of the free. Shot a gun at a gun range no questions asked. Freedom boner still at full mast with the stars and stripes hanging off of it.

[–]Rockydo 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're goddamn right.

[–]oh_mi_scusi 35ポイント36ポイント  (19子コメント)

Is it true? - Australia.

[–]82kets 105ポイント106ポイント  (7子コメント)

In Texas every person you meet has shot at least fourteen people for stepping on their property.

[–]nick16961 75ポイント76ポイント  (5子コメント)

Overpopulation does not exist in Texas, thanks to those patriots.

[–]miraistreak 28ポイント29ポイント  (4子コメント)

Austin would like a word

[–]ISISFieldAgent 79ポイント80ポイント  (0子コメント)

All the hipsters converged there because liberals living in Texas is ironic.

[–]kangarooninjadonuts 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

Texas is not a good place to test people's boundaries.

[–]BeggarBard 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

especially the property boundaries

[–]Icomefromthewater 7ポイント8ポイント  (7子コメント)

Texas here. So if i remember correctly it is legal to shoot someone on your property but only at night. It's some old cattle rustling law from like, the late 1800's that we just never got rid of. This law is quite bothersome for repo men because they conduct alot of business at night and often venture onto private property to get the cars. Now if someone is actually in your home it's open season anytime of day.

[–]LadyLynnsCircus 8ポイント9ポイント  (5子コメント)

Texan here as well. That the time of day has nothing to do with it. It's the Castle Law. If you feel you or your property is being threatened you have the right to defend it. Any time of day, if you feel like someone is one your property threatening bodily hard, property destruction, or thrift. You are in your right to shoot them. This does extend to your vehicles. BUT by God I hope you kill them, cause if you don't they will turn around and sue you for everything your worth.

[–]killersquirel11 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

So,

Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again

[–]Icomefromthewater 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

caption TLDR; specifically nighttime

[–]Albi_ze_RacistDragon 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

thrift

Your honor, he had the craziest look in his eye, and I knew that unless I took immediate action the trespasser would soon be singing Macklemore

[–]HOU-1836 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

To take this one step farther. If you see someone breaking into your neighbors property, you are allowed to use legal force to stop them as well.

[–]Icomefromthewater 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Castle doctrine refers to specifically a home, business, or vehicle, and a specific set of crimes like rape, murder, robbery, and felonious theft.

[–]RsonW 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's some old cattle rustling law from like, the late 1800's that we just never got rid of.

Similarly in California, you can shoot someone panning on your claim.

[–]thetrebel 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Texas proud patriot here

if they step inside your house/on your property its pretty much fire at will

[–]RevBlackRage 264ポイント265ポイント  (126子コメント)

In Texas, You can shoot a man, if he is on your property with out permission. In California however, you have a duty to retreat. Or render oral sex, because California is a pussy state.

[–]So-Cal-Mountain-Man 29ポイント30ポイント  (8子コメント)

I live in a small town in the mountains of California, we almost to the house are armed. We really do not have human predators, but have mountain lions and the such. The good thing about everyone being armed is no one locks up their doors or cars, though we only have 1500 souls in the town.

[–]killersquirel11 24ポイント25ポイント  (2子コメント)

though we only have 1500 souls in the town.

So if you count redheads, what's your town's population?

[–]brinbran 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm assuming still 1500

[–]shaozhen 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

They don't last long since they get classed in with wildlife.

[–]hasnonaim 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I really liked this comment until I remembered damn near every single gun I own would make me a felon in California.

So nah. Still not a fan of your state. Plenty of good muricans there but the state and it's politics are not my favorite.

[–]dwt4 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah but if you shoot a mountain lion in California doesn't some Damn Commie Animal Lover come around to harass you and make you prove that yes, you really were in danger?

[–]Plowbeast 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

No, mountain lions are MURICAN too until they infringe on someone else's rights with their damn commie teeth.

[–]usNEUX 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's nothing commie about trying to take a bite out of someone else when you think they're not looking. That's like, 1/3 of the 'murican way.

[–]RsonW 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

In California however, you have a duty to retreat.

But if they come in your house, you can pump them full of lead. We're not Massachusetts over here.

[–]RevBlackRage 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hahaha yeah i know man, I actually got into guns when I lived in Cali. Made coming back to Texas that much more awesome!

[–]eviltwinkie 12ポイント13ポイント  (3子コメント)

Fun story. I moved from Texas to California for work. One night a drunk crazy guy comes to my door and wont leave. He starts getting really aggressive. So I tell the guy, since its California I wont shoot him and instead gut him like a fish on my doorstep if he doesn't leave.

Neighbor was a sheriff and later he tells me that I would have been in MORE trouble using a knife than a gun. Also, don't use a gun. And its better to run away.

So glad I moved back to Texas.

[–]RsonW 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

California's castle doctrine only applies within your house itself, not the surrounding property. If you go outside to meet someone with a knife, for better or worse, it'll be seen as you attacking them. At least with a gun you could make the argument that he was opening your door and you shot him before he entered. Depending on the officers arriving at the scene and/or the DA, they might say that's close enough for castle doctrine to apply.

I can't imagine a sheriff deputy saying it's better to run away (the "joke" I've heard deputies tell is, "if you shoot someone outside, drag them inside.") But I'm gonna take your story at face value. Killing someone, even in self defense, often messes with your head. He might've been saying that not as legal advice but life advice.

[–]mynewaccount5 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Run away from your own house?

[–]shit_lord 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Retreat to where my guns are.

[–]SilentLettersSuck 12ポイント13ポイント  (3子コメント)

DON'T MAKE ME STAND MY GROUND ALL OVER YOUR SHIT, CALIFORNIA! FLORIDA WILL FUCK YOU UP.

[–]acwarren492 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

fuck CA up with your highest rate of public masturbation in the country

[–]SilentLettersSuck -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

WE'LL FUCK CANADA UP, TOO!

[–]walking_with_snakes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Florida is that crazy fucking kid that will bite his finger off and cut himself before a fight. Florida doesn't need to fight anyone, the whole God dammed state needs decades of therapy.

[–]AustinRivers25 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

You can shoot a man, if he is on your property with out permission.

Same here in PA.

[–]Helassaid 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pennsylvania is best sylvania.

[–]Iggins01 6ポイント7ポイント  (6子コメント)

The People's Republic of Kalifornia

[–]n4ggs 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

We prefer the full official title, The Democratic People's Republic of Kalifornia.

[–]Iggins01 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm glad I got pulled out of there back in '94.

I've seen some shit man, I wouldn't recommend it.

[–]toboggan_mantis_md 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's pretty nice these days.

[–]acwarren492 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

there are actually a ton of gun owners in North Korea

because everyone is forced to join the military

[–]Semirgy 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

But wouldn't the state own the gun in that case?

[–]Iggins01 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

No one is forced all North Koreans "volunteer" for military duty

[–]tester1000 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Virginia you can shoot someone for trespassing even if they are unarmed. It's called castle law or stand your ground law or some shit like that idk it's been awhile since I've taken my law class

[–]Captain_Kuhl 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Get the hell off my lawn, or I'll suck your dick."

"Hey--wait, what?"

"You heard me! And it involves an obscene usage of teeth!"

"Aw hell, let's get out of here!"

[–]RevBlackRage 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"So.... Are you wanting me to leave...or stay?"

[–]NigerianLips 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

So long as its not in the back and they aren't running away.

[–]RevBlackRage 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

If they have your property in hands, i think you are cleared hot.

[–]NigerianLips 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm pretty sure there was a case of a lady shooting a man running away from her home in Texas with some of her possessions. She shot him in the back of the leg and still charged. That's how I originally found out about the exception to the law.

[–]RevBlackRage 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Huh, I'll have to look into that, thanks man.

[–]barak181 -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

because California is a pussy state.

That's sounding awfully close to treason, friend. In 'Murica, true patriots love all of the United States.

[–]RevBlackRage 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh i do! But i call my brother a pussy all the time, and i love 'em.

[–]barak181 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

i call my brother a pussy all the time

But no one else can!

[–]RevBlackRage 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or I'll give them such a beating!

shakes fist

[–]AtomicSteve21 -4ポイント-3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've heard it's women and children too.

Hey you kids! Bam bam bam. Get off my lawn.

And that's how Texas does birth control.

[–]RevBlackRage 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey, you can't argue with results.

[–]rschrauf 24ポイント25ポイント  (0子コメント)

Damn straight it's true!

[–]julianlau 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

Can confirm. This is what Germans would do in Texas

Source: Am German, would do that.

[–]IHaveStupidOpinions 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shit, that's what everybody goes to Texas for, even other Americans.

[–]majinbuh 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

Would be the first thing I would ask - am German

[–]mainvolume 28ポイント29ポイント  (6子コメント)

ITT: people from california getting sand in their vagina

[–]RsonW 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's one person from California and he's being ignorant. We have the castle doctrine and stand your ground in California.

So he's "mocking" Texas for something we have here too.

[–]AtomicSteve21 9ポイント10ポイント  (4子コメント)

Well yeah, California's beaches are 10x what Texas has.

[–]DontNeedNoBadges 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'd rather live in Texas with no beaches than be from California

[–]AtomicSteve21 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not really a choice you get to make... You're pretty much from wherever your parents decide to have you.

You might say they were born that way.

[–]acwarren492 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's room enough in this world for both Californians and Texans, especially when we're all united in our hate for damn commies who are threatening this world with their tsar bombas.

You might even say it takes Different Strokes

[–]Janbiya 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Texas has some fantastic beaches.

[–]Conservativeoxen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Red eye is still pretty good. I really wish gutfeld was on every night rather than every Sunday. He's great

[–]Miraten 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

What if you invite someone over and shoot them and say they entered without your permission? Sounds like an excellent way to off people one by one.

[–]elmariachi304 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The authorities are still going to investigate the issue thoroughly... you might just not do jail time when all is said and done.

[–]TruckerJames 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

If you notice. Most republican states have a form of a castle law or stand your ground law. Pussy liberal states like New Jersey and California do not.

[–]RsonW 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

California has both castle doctrine and stand your ground.

[–]TruckerJames -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

TIL California aint so bad afterall

[–]RsonW 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's worth noting that our stand your ground isn't from code of law, but court precedent from interpreting the California Constitution. It's a very old precedent, though, so it's highly unlikely it'll get overturned since so many other cases have been decided upon that ruling. Only castle doctrine is actually codified. But still, we've got both in practice.

[–]acwarren492 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

1) Stop bringing bipartisan nonsense into this - as long as people respect the Constitution, who are we to pass judgement on their political beliefs? They're just as 'murican as the rest of us.

2) Even many liberal states (e.g. California) let you shoot people when they enter your home, but they don't want you shooting some guy on your lawn only to find out he was a sewage repair man asking if it was ok to park some vehicles in front of your house while he worked on a line under the road.

[–]TruckerJames 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Only a paranoid fool would shoot random people for just simply approaching their house...castle law and stand your ground are the rights to use lethal force whenever all other means have been exhausted or when imminent threat to life and/or property is at hand. If someone is trespassing on my property i give them to the count of 3 to leave.

  1. I ask them to leave
  2. If they refuse I inform said trespasser that I am armed and will call the cops to have them forcibly removed
  3. They either get removed by force by L.E or if they become combative they will be involuntarily removed by the coroners office.

[–]acwarren492 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

oh, sure, but in Oakland they don't need a law on their side to shoot somebody whose on their property. It's just an added benefit. We don't want a law protecting those people, do we?

[–]duglock -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because for liberals, criminals are their core voting base. Seriously. Criminals, teenagers, women and illiterates. Even though that is a hard fact they always get their panties in a bunch when people point it out.

[–]jpowell180 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

True story: when I was twelve, I went to Kansas to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and two younger cousins; that summer their A/C broke, and I was having a difficult time sleeping; I would follow the dogs around the house after everyone else was asleep, thinking they were seeking out cooler spots to sleep in; my Aunt asked me what I was doing, so I told her. My grandparents later visited, and my Aunt told my grandmother about my following the dogs around the house in the middle of the night, seeking cool spots to sleep in; my grandmother told me that what I did was dangerous, as a neighbor may have seen me through the windows and mistaken me for a burglar, and shot me, because that's how they do things in Kansas (I was from south Georgia at the time).

Has anyone ever heard of neighbors taking pot shots at their neighbors homes in the middle of the night because they suspected a burglar had broken in?????

I thought that sounded pretty strange, but maybe it's just me?

[–]Blix- 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Texan Here. Can you not shoot people who trespass on your private property outside of Texas? Wtf?

[–]CrimsonKings 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can shoot someone if he is on your property in Germany as well, only barely anyone knows that.