You have been banned from /r/gaming

The words glared at /u/RAPE_THEM_ALL* like a black-suited judge atop a towering podium, banging out a sentence. He was now an outcast, doomed to wander the barren wastelands of the exo-reddit webs.

/u/RAPE_THEM_ALL slithered to his fridge, chair sticking to his butt after several weeks of inactivity, finally coming loose of his rear and falling over a pile of discarded pizza boxes and meticulously clean dorito bags. He opened the fridge, hissing at the piercing light of the fridge lamp. Blinded by the gleam, /u/RAPE_THEM_ALL's hand shot out, guided by muscle memory, to snatch a Mountain Dew and slammed shut the tiny refrigerator. He chugged the whole can in one sitting, tears flowing down his cheeks, leaving trails of shining brightness through the muck and grime on his cheeks. It was because of the fizz. He wasn't crying.

The creature howls suddenly, a mournful, pitiful song, testament to the anguish of an innocent man judged guilty of a crime he did not commit. He throws himself into the warm embrace of a pile of detritus. It did not question him. It did not ask him uncomfortable questions. It did not ban him.

He would have stayed there for longer, but he still had a mission that fired an ember in his heart even while the oppressive force of Pao and her SJW minions snuffed out every light he knew. He was a glorious warrior in the crusade against political correctness and he knew it. He had friends. Men who went their own way, voaters, red pillers. All good people who saw through the bullshit and made none of their own. People who went through with their beliefs and were not offended by non-slights like the SJWs.

But as /u/RAPE_THEM_ALL returned to his computer, righting the chair and wiping off the seat, leaving it more crusted with dorito crumbles than before, the momentality of the injustice inflicted upon him fell upon him as he saw the damning space right of "give gold". He was silenced. He could make a new username(/u/RAPE_SOME, he thought and laughed loudly at his mature sense of humour), but it wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't have the presence of ten thousand karma backing his words up.

Moaning mournfully again, /u/RAPE_THEM_ALL throws himself to the ground and wails and punches the floor. His mother ventures into the basement and asks him what is wrong. Stupid overbearing post-wall hag, he thinks, and screams at her to get out, he has been banned and is in pain. She goes, probably to find some alpha male to get plated by. AWALT.

It was so unfair, /u/RAPE_THEM_ALL thought as he climbed out the basement window, running across the street and discarding his matted clothes. All he had done was tell people some women needed to be raped, sent threatening PMs to people, called the mods nazis several times, brigaded, lied, harassed, and argued with the admins. And now he was banned. He had never been punished for that before, why was it fair to be punished now? Red and blue lights flashed around him, but he didn't care as he ran on. He wouldn't play their game anymore. He was done.

/u/RAPE_THEM_ALL threw himself into the murky river. A few moments later he raised his eyes up from the water, sliding lazily down the river, looking very much like a log as he prowled quietly in search of animals foolish enough to stray onto the Mississippi banks.

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*^{I had to go through several ridiculously offensive names before I found one that wasn't already taken...}