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Forced fatherhood and child support (self.legaladvice)

anon000111 が 投稿

I have reasons to believe I'm being forced into fatherhood by my girlfriend purely for child support/other monetary benefits despite us agreeing that we were not ready for children yet. Is there something I can do to legally protect myself now that she's pregnant and won't get an abortion? Thanks for any and all advice!

Frustrated in TX

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[–]Napalmenator 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

Forced fatherhood? That is new.

No one forced you to put your penis in her vagina and then send your sperm to her eggs.

You can plan to pay child support. No one can force you to be a parent. But you do pay to support what your sperm make

[–]stemfish -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Just to remind you, males can be raped too as well as stolen sperm used for lab conceptions. Defidently isn't the case here, but it is possible for a women to take advantage of a guy for the purposes of creating children.

[–]placebo_addicted 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

You mean she forced you to deposit sperm close enough to an egg to make a baby because she wants child support out of you? Gosh, you must make a whole lotto money for this to work out.

[–]Feralplatypus 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

You had a hand in conceiving the child. You knew contraceptives were 99% effective. You knew there was a risk of little baby anons running around. You rolled the dice and a baby came up.

Unless this is one of those cases where the sex was accidental and you fell into her, then out of her, then into her again, rinse and repeat...

Enjoy fatherhood!

[–]grasshoppa1 11ポイント12ポイント  (6子コメント)

This again eh? Any time you have sex you are consenting to fathering a child. The end, case closed. You are not obligated to be there physically for your child (if you want to be a douchebag), but you are obligated to provide financially.

[–]key2616 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

(if you want to be a douchebag)

Based on the tone of the post, it doesn't seem to be a far stretch to think that the douchebag thing for the OP to do from the kid's perspective would be to stick around.

[–]grasshoppa1 7ポイント8ポイント  (4子コメント)

You may be right :-/

[–]key2616 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

There are times in this sub where I don't like reading those words - this is one of them.

[–]anon000111[S] -4ポイント-3ポイント  (2子コメント)

brilliant. didn't realise legal advice also constituted calling names and judging people. much obliged.

[–]grasshoppa1 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's all about context, buddy. You came in here claiming you were forced into fatherhood and looking for ways to legally protect yourself without at all giving a shit about the innocent child you created. You deserve it.

[–]Feralplatypus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Integral to the nature of the law is Judgement, that's why they call them Judges.

[–]Ramady 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Depends. Do you have access to a time machine?

[–]PM-Me-Beer 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

Were you the one that got her pregnant?

[–]anon000111[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

there's a good likelihood

[–]PM-Me-Beer 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Then it's your child, so you're paying for it. Just keep in mind, you're doing this to support the kid you brought into this world, it's not like you're just paying your girlfriend because she wants your money.

[–]anon000111[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

thanks for a straight answer; helps.

[–]Aaragon 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also if you're going to be paying child support... Make sure to get a paternity test. Now is much better than later with this sort of thing.

[–]supes1 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Make sure you request a paternity test. But otherwise, if you are the father, you can be required to pay child support. This is not considered "punishment" for you, but rather a legal obligation due to it being in the best interest of the child.

The state can't force you to act like a parent or be involved in the child's life.

[–]StpdSxyFlndrs 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Q: Is there a legal way you can avoid being forced to experience the consequences of your actions?

A: No.

[–]Cheesey_Cakes 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wear a condom next time. Never rely on anyone else's claim that they are using the proper protection. You chose to have sex with her, now you get to deal with the consequences.

[–]Napalmenator 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Condoms are not 100% either. Just saying.

[–]Cheesey_Cakes 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

True, but it's definitely better than assuming the other person is taking measures to use protection. People lie (men and women alike).

[–]agreywood 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is there something I can do to legally protect myself now that she's pregnant and won't get an abortion?

Do not sign anything that says you are the father without DNA testing first.

[–]jasperval 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

You have five options for avoiding child support:

  1. Don't have sex. You failed this, so let's move on.

  2. Play the odds, and five her to get a paternity test before signing any paternity documents. You indicated the kid is most likely yours, so this won't help anything and is just a delaying tactic, but it's possible the child isn't yours.

  3. Come to an agreement where she does not want child support, and never goes on any kind of social program like SNAP or WIC that requires the state to pursue it on her behalf. Unlikey, since you indicated she wants to collect.

  4. Marry the girl. You can't be forced to pay child support to her if you're married. Of course, if you don't treat her right or provide money in other ways, she can divorce you and then you not only have child support, but you have other financial penalties too.

  5. Have her marry someone else, and have him adopt your kid,severing your rights and child support payments. From your point of view, this is the best solution. So maybe break up with her and get her a Match subscription so she can find a real emotional partner?

You created this life, and regardless of how you feel about it, are required by society to help support it. In return, you have options for custody and visitation which may actually change your attitude about children and their value and worth to society. Being a parent can be a great and life changing experience. Or it can be a massive financial sinkhole. Your attitude will determine which one it is.

[–]another_sunnyday 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Marry the girl.

This is terrible advice. Plus, if his main objective is to avoid financially supporting a child, he's going to wind up paying a lot more if he is the custodial parent.

Have her marry someone else...So maybe break up with her and get her a Match subscription

Seriously?

[–]Krusha2117 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

He's just laying it all out so as to present a complete picture. Clearly he has taken a somewhat jovial attitude in some of his writing. Chill.