Is it REALLY just a preference?

lebanesetraveller · 11時間前

No burritos? Is that like no Latinos/Mexicans?

marhigh · 10時間前

Part of me gets it, I can totally see why people would say they are attracted to or not attracted to a variety of things, race included.

The issue I think we have is that the gay community as a whole has this can do no wrong mentality when it comes to how it treats other minorities while systematically fetishizing them, we've also collectively allowed and done a good job of creating this ideal gay man that the further you're away from in race, body type, status, social standing etc the less value you're given in the community.

If you realize the problem it's important to be a part of the solution I don't care if you don't date black guys, asians, latinos etc for whatever reason, but we should all care when we have members that purposely or unintentionally allow their race, body type, status or social standing to stand on a pedestal and invalidate the existence of millions of people sexually and romantically because they "just don't do it" for them.

Peer_Pressure-er · 11時間前

I look at it this way, i can't help who i find attractive. Now am i going to go out of my way to be a dick to black guys or put that shit in my profile? No, and i don't think that makes me racist either

jpw5x4 · 11時間前

Ugh, do we have to have this same debate every single day?

bifapaway · 11時間前

I don't exclude any race a priori, but people from some races/countries are less frequently close to my "type" . Very simple explanation.

Justsomeposter · 9時間前

I would think it has to be a mix as a whole, and vary by individual right? Some people say no [race] because they are genuinely racist. Some say no [race] because they have literally never seen a person of that race they've considered attractive, and are (I would say unwisely) generalizing to the population as a whole. To me their profiles say "I would rather say something that could hurt people's feelings rather than have to spend an extra 10 seconds a day glancing at an extra few profiles I'm pretty sure I won't be interested on." Comes off as douchey and unfeeling, even if the person isn't racist. But the issue is that people who are genuinely racist post the same thing under the guise of "just a preference" so now you've put people in the position of trying to tell you apart, which isn't a first good impression...

canadski56 · 9時間前

Race preferences exist in straights too,ex. many straight friends of mine aren't into black women which I find weird because if I was straight there are totally some black girls I will be into.

The only thing in straight people is there are lots of people to go around,they can just choose which ones they are attracted to and just ignore the ones they don't,and since straight people are the majority,straight race prefrences aren't as noticeable

RuralPride · 9時間前

Not attracted to another ethnicity due to biological reasons? Not racist.

Use food slang to describe others physical appearance? Racist (or at least, offensive).

Much like our sexuality, attraction to other peoples physical traits is largely determined by factors outside of our control. However, just because we may find some groups unattractive does not justify attempts to marginalize and degrade them.

fluffhoof · 5時間前

Straight people don't seem to necessarily care as much

Really?

bruceville_road · 11時間前

I see people mention race, but it's pretty rare.

lachlansreddit · 9時間前

I don't really see the difference with somebody writing "I'm not really attracted to twinks/bears" and "I'm not really attracted to Asians/Latinos"

Lets face it, you're not going to find certain groups of people attractive, whether that be a racial group or otherwise. Certain physical attributes that a group shares just may not be desirable for you.

Maybe just don't be a dick about it and post things like "No rice, no spice." If someone is talking to you that you don't find attractive, just kindly tell them that you're not interested. Isn't that just common sense?

Chris770 · 11時間前

People just have their particular preferences, nobody's obligated to explain or justify them. Trying to tell anyone else whether theirs are right or wrong is pretty much a swan dive into a cesspool of hypocrisy. Nobody in their right mind who's ever been told they ought not to be attracted to other guys, or should be attracted to women, has an excuse for repeating that some sort of behavior.

static_snow · 9時間前

It's a preference fostered by the ideology of white supremacy, which promotes eurocentric ideals of beauty. In a sense it is racist, but we're socialized to feel this way. A lot of people manage to break out of this mode of thought and that's great. Progress. But I would also be equally weary of people interested solely in non whites on the other side of the spectrum; fetishism much?

BlkManX · 7時間前

Captain-TomTom the question you're asking is one white gay men are afraid to answer honestly, maybe some aren't, but you're asking them why they have the preferences they do and for them to answer that question honestly will cause them to have to look deep inside themselves and question the very nature of what made them the man they are, and that my friend is something they're not ready or willing to do. To answer that question they would have to take into account their life experiences, what history they've been taught, how they were raised and what they've been exposed to. If you've never been exposed to People of Color (POC's) outside of TV & fast food and the history you've been taught is so diluted of actual facts you will grow up thinking that POC aren't as equal as you and that their looks are not as attractive as yours. Example [–]John2Nhoj's ignorant comment: "Race and skin color aside; I just don't find pubic-like hair on the head, big full lips, big flattened noses, scaly\ashy skin, perspiration that smells like stale popcorn, antique racial baggage and a culture I have no interest in to be sexy, not even on a white guy." He tries to be funny, but comes off ignorant, by using physical characteristics of a particular culture as a joke to explain why he's not attract to persons of that culture, what is does is expose the ignorant upbringing he had by the people who instilled those racist beliefs in him. The concept that your experiences and cultural exposure form you're ideals and beliefs is a foreign concept to them, they just think POC are too sensitive and need to get over past ills not understanding that it was those past ills that have helped form who they are and how they think.

CelestialBeekeeper · 11時間前

Hey, personally I'm not attracted to racists. It's not prejudice, I just can't help what my preferences are.

But to answer your question, yes, I believe it's a preference, it just happens to be a preference that's completely consistent with racist attitudes. Who says racism can't inform one's preferences? Surely you would expect a racist to prefer white people.

(According to the massive OkCupid data analysis that came out recently, though, straight people do it to. Straight people are just much better at not communicating their sexual preferences, racist or otherwise.)

snorbaard · 4時間前

Straight people don't seem to necessarily care as much, nor do lesbians.

This is very much incorrect. I've see explicit instructions about the same stuff. It definitely isn't a gay thing.

stilig · 3時間前

No. Preferences are flexible.

brassware · 1時間前

Preferences can be benign. They can also reflect prejudiced attitudes. These are racist preferences. Just because a physiological response is involved in arousal doesn't mean that social attitudes are at play. Plus, the idea that racial preferences are related to physical preferences is a farce given the phenotypical diversity within any racial group.

GoGoGo_PowerRanger94 · 2時間前

Simply put: No its not. I think alot of white guys(who lets be honest are the ones dishing out the preference prejudice/racism, mostly) deep down know that this "preference" talk is bullshit, but they don't want to change as that would require deep introspection & asking of some very uncomfortable questions about themselves. So they have this talk of "preference" as a defence mechanism, a disguise to hide from that nasty, ugly side of thier personality.. they can still think of themselves as that right-on, accepting & progressive guy then. But its simply a mask they don't want & can't deal with taking off).

Now personally as half black x half white guy.. i find i am attracted to one race the most... the human race. I find guys of all ethnicities, shades & creeds, bodytypes. Be they black, asian, white or mixed, purple etc...Attractive. Sexy is sexy in my book regardless of colour. Its all gravy, no biggie. I think its silly, if not dumb to limit oneself & be close-minded in such a way. I mean imo we're all related to each other on some level, we're of the same species, all related... connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemicaly & the rest of the universe atomically. Beauty is equally shared amongst all of us regardless etc... that having such hang ups is nonsensical to me.

Being open minded, seeing other people as individuals and not some monolithic block...removing yourself of your preconceptions and cultral baggage & not allowing media/society/culture(which of course it does play the biggest role of all. I mean we're not born with these "preferences" already in place, they come later after we've been conditioned. We live in a time where currently there's a hierarchical standard of beauty that puts whiteness & european features on a pedistal at the top as the epitome of beauty, (in the gay community you can also throw in muscled, tall, masculine n well hung as being highly prized) so the further you are from that the less attractive many will deem you as) to indoctrinate your mind is the best way to go :). So no i've no preferences. Though i do think there's a fine line between fetishising. Just as long as you treat the person with respect & as an sexual equal n not just a straight up servicing sex object i see no issue. But to clarify: No its not a preference.

Firecrotch2014 · 7時間前

Its just a preference for me at least. I would never treat anyone different(better or worse) because of their race. Im just simply not attracted to certain races. Just like Im not attracted to women. Does that make me a misogynist? Probably not by most people's standards.

John2Nhoj · 10時間前

Race and skin color aside; I just don't find pubic-like hair on the head, big full lips, big flattened noses, scaly\ashy skin, perspiration that smells like stale popcorn, antique racial baggage and a culture I have no interest in to be sexy, not even on a white guy.

John2Nhoj · 11時間前

It makes no difference if race is a factor.

Race cards are not redeemable for sex, so get over it, quit obsessing over guys of other races and date your own race. If your own race isn't good enough for you then it's not good for anyone else either.

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