Meet Magres, SA's Biggest Fan of Moderation

[Patriarchy]

In a forum filled with pathetic threads, none might be sadder than the PYF Probation and Ban Thread. This whimsical shitfest is filled with members of the forum highlighting their favorite probations and bans on the forum. This is their chance to tell Senior Woodchuck and Eggplant Wizard how funny they are. And the moderators eat it up. Almost all participate in some form and take their virtual bow in front of an approving crowd of sycophants. This thread turns these moderators into Justin Bieber in front of a group of 12 year old girls.

But amidst these losers is one man who shines above the rest in terms of worship. His name is Magres and here are just a sampling of his posts in the most recent thread.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3538428

I wonder if Joenen will give us our first infinite probate from the DR2 thread.  I can dream

This is the probation that just keeps on giving.  I've re-read it and sung it in my head half a dozen times since I first saw it this morning and it just keeps being funny.

Joe makes me think of Hank Hill sometimes.  He reads a post, utters an exasperated "Gosh dangit, Bobby," and reaches for the probate button.  It makes reading his probation reasons so much fun.  Especially the Mittens Toxx ban spree I can just imagine Hank reading Ayn Rand and saying "Now what the hell?!"

Poor Louisgod, I don't know how he can deal with Games.  So many threads devolve into stupid spergy arguments, I would just ban people constantly.

Oh yeah the probation itself is funny for sure (I always love sarcastic six hour probations), I just somehow thought someone had made a "wow what a dumbass who would post that" crack at him that I thought was mean.  It was a crack at someone else posting actually stupid things in another thread, and I misread it.

Louie is starting to crack

Holy fuck can we talk about funny probations or not?

Oh DotA, I have yet another reason to love you - you get so many people probated

Louisgod is officially not fucking around with people not posting content in gamers.txt

All hail Joementum, benevolent dictator of D&D

Shine laying down the law in the bodybuilding thread

Mmmmmmmmm, feels good to see that ban :byewhore:.  I fell hook, line, and sinker for his shit until I saw someone call it out as a troll and realized it was Honeyboy Bradley.

Guy's rap sheet is huge, go T

There are tons more, but you get the point.

[Peak Monostat]

Faggots gonna fag. Niggers gonna nog.

[Black Gardener]

I love you guys I love you guys love you guys and love you guys can I be a mod now????

[Jaded]

[reactionary]

not even the biggest brown nosers on the forum will go as far as to suggest the mods have done well with their lives outside the forums

[Z3R0 C00L]

Waiting for the thread pairing of 'PYF Ban/Probation' and 'PYF kneepads to wear when sucking off mods'

[BubbaCat]

magres

This guy is like the League of National German Jews were to the Nazi's.  Just cannot bask enough in the glory of punishment and punishers.  He probably types with only one hand in that thread.

[Black Gardener]

A gay post:

I like to think you've carefully followed this thread to where you kind of know how much punishment comes with each action, like a sort of shitposting menu. "Hrm, do I want to take the one day for posting a meme outside the meme thread, or the three days for telling someone to get out."

[Rape Artist]

He's the house nigger standing behind massah' saying "sho nuff" over and over again

[Doctor CisAlter]

 

[unprivsplain]

Whatever happened to that carnivoue person that was a huge mod cheerleader in QCS a few years ago. I saw that it was a mod at one point.

[Mon-O-Stat 888v8.0]

He's the house nigger standing behind massah' saying "sho nuff" over and over again

I'd compare him to Sam Jackson's character in Django but no way he's that smart.

[Doctor CisAlter]

Is this him?

 

[Big Duck Equals Goose]

I mean, I'm mostly just bewildered - who gets angry about posting things mods do that we like in a thread about posting things do that we like? 

Someone called me a fag... but but but.... I always talk about the mods... 

[Huffington Post]

magres is the girl in a 3-way ATM scene who sucks the shitty dick after it's been in the other girl's ass except he genuinely enjoys it and isn't getting paid

[Fade to Vanilla]

so are these useful idiots a real life manifestation of an idealized snowflake who has never been disciplined in their life by parents or teachers (for whatever reason) who finally latches on to any form of guidance that presents itself and being grateful for it?

i would use the modifier "consistent guidance" but there is zero consistency in SA forums moderation.  my hypothetial formula for SA moderation a complex function of chocolate intake, PMS status, time since klonopin intake and number of cats per square foot of living space (measured by the dozen).

[bunnybean]

I nominate No Your Other Left for Biggest Fan of Forums Moderation and Faggotry.

Good riddance. The creep was shitting up what used to be a good thread.

Make better posts and people won't want to ignore you.


(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Start a new Goons.txt that everyone can see but only mods can post in.

Have a week where the mods are assigned to different subforums than usual, just to see what happens.

Punish slurs in FYAD like in the regular forums.

Is it just me, or have there been more chatspeak idiots posting here lately?

Maybe we could get some more mods to reduce the workload of the current ones? Because it feels like some of you folks are getting overworked and burnt out.

Shouldn't even bother.


No Your Other Left fucked around with this message at Mar 26, 2013 around 21:45

Retracted

Are general internet mock threads (Like PYF thing to hate on the internet) disallowed (Still, I think? I remember I stopped reading the last one then it got gassed)?

No, the mods don't want the extra work.

Was trying to avoid mod sass. I'll stop talking about it.

The "ironic" pedophiles are starting to surface again. Might be time for another purge.

It's in PYF, specifically the meme thread, but it says I can't report any more today.

[Huffington Post]

It's in PYF, specifically the meme thread, but it says I can't report any more today.

how can you tell when your forum is full of faggots?
when you have to limit how many people they can tattle on each day

[Rape Artist]

Maybe we could get some more mods to reduce the workload of the current ones? Because it feels like some of you folks are getting overworked and burnt out.

YO 'TAX Can we get some more oppressive moderation up in this bitch?

[Doctor CisAlter]

SA is a PC safe place now.

Fucking crazy.

[Z3R0 C00L]

SA is a PC safe place now.

Fucking crazy.

Yeah it's sad that when TastyArmageddon was the biggest faggot on the forums those are the 'golden era'

 

[Black Gardener]

SA is a PC safe place now.

Fucking crazy.

There used to be jokes on there!  Now, no fun.  Just...not fun anymore.

[Jester]

The Internet used to be a fun place, but most of it is worried about hurting people's feelings.

If something a complete stranger says to you actually does hurt your feelings, it's time for you to take a break from the Internet and grow a thicker skin.

[Doctor CisAlter]

The Internet used to be a fun place, but most of it is worried about hurting people's feelings.

If something a complete stranger says to you actually does hurt your feelings, it's time for you to take a break from the Internet and grow a thicker skin.

Reminds me of that scene from PCU after the meat protest them all filling out the forms about how butthurt they are.

[Patriarchy]

I nominate No Your Other Left for Biggest Fan of Forums Moderation and Faggotry.

Welp, it looks like we have a new King. I have a bad feeling there are a dozen of these people in those threads.