Poetry 内の TheLinz87 によるリンク [OC]: Our Internet, who art in cyberspace

[–]ModifyBit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Hail Gates,
Full of Money,
Thy Microsoft is with Thee
Blessed art thou among entrepreneurs
And hallowed be thy culmination of thy genius, Windows

Revered Gates, Father of Windows
Intervene for thine Mac Users
Now, and until the hour of CISPA
Amen

Poetry 内の [deleted] によるリンク On falling in love at the bus stop. [OC]

[–]ModifyBit 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

This was incredibly brilliant. I can feel the loneliness as the shadows try to cling together to no avail, the soft excitement of seeing someone else reading, the slight pang of regret that the book she's reading isn't actually reality. All in all, S+

Poetry 内の uarkpress によるリンク [General] I have four advance review copies to give away

[–]ModifyBit 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Me!

Poetry 内の WastedTruth によるリンク [CC] Bloomin' Ekphrasis! (Write a poem in response to some other piece of art)

[–]ModifyBit 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Oh Ye of unfathomable greatness and beauty
Cast down from thy heavens; a dog scorned by his master
Unlimited sorrow and remorse; His presence, gone from thee forever
Hatred and rage; how doth He love His final creation?
How doth He Love them more than Ye?
Ye shining light, Ye Morning Star, Ye who came before all others
Ye Light-Bringer! A mockery! Thee have been cast down to the depths
For in heaven thy served, thy bringer of light
And in this light-less place, who are Ye to serve?
Nay! For it is thy multitude that shall serve Thee!
For it is better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven!


Gustave Dore's Depiction of Satan

Poetry 内の PoetessBay によるリンク [CC] Redaction Action!

[–]ModifyBit 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

haha it was actually on /r/books for a while, here's the link

http://sean.terretta.com/dont-date-a-girl-who-reads-charles-warnke

books 内の pocketbandit によるリンク Working an an open source Android app you could call a reader for "interactive books", looking for opinions/suggestions.

[–]ModifyBit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Sounds like you're trying to remake Zork.

Poetry 内の PoetessBay によるリンク [CC] Redaction Action!

[–]ModifyBit 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

The weary squalor of a Midwestern bar.
Smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored lights.
Wherever. Find her smiling.
Kiss her under the rain.
Take her to your apartment.
Fuck her.

Evolve.
Slowly.
A relationship.

Talk about nothing of significance.
Get into fights.
You probably should get married.
You will have wasted a lot of time otherwise.
Do not be overly concerned,
You cannot feel at all.

Feel contented. Sometimes.
Mostly vacant. Ethereal.
You might never return.
You might blow away on the wind.
A terminal illness.
Your heart, tempered regret; nothing ever came of her love.

Do it, because a girl who knows life,
A girl who has read,
A girl who perceives,
She can trace, a prologue, a climax.
She feels them in her skin.
The girl will be patient, but of all things the girl knows the end.
She has bid farewell, a thousand memories of sadness.

You, in the library.
You, in the window.
You, in the cafe.

I
Really
Really
Really
Hate you.

Poetry 内の Gwyn_the_hunter によるリンク [OC] Winter's Wrath

[–]ModifyBit 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Winter’s wrath I hold most regretfully dear
While Fall is forgotten, and left at the rear

Best two lines imo.

Personally, I think

Hidden ‘neath a claustrophobic bog

sounds a bit rough and kinda ruins the whole rhyming pattern you have, but that's just me.

Poetry 内の Furtherthanfurther によるリンク Riptide [OC]

[–]ModifyBit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Well...I'm going to start off being that guy and saying I honestly didn't really like it.

It didn't really flow for me, and like someone above said the imagery is kind of difficult. I felt like you purposefully(and you probably did) used words to convey the sort of music feel and I, at least, don't think it really works.

Then again, someone once told me I have a more antiquated voice, so that might have something to do with my bias :p

Poetry 内の Seraph_Grymm によるリンク [MOD] Weekly Critique Thread 3

[–]ModifyBit 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

The microphone blares its baleful screech  
as the man at the podium begins his question.  
A glance over, his black rimmed glasses slide down his nose,   
He slips one arm around the girl next to him;  
A disconnection, causing an uninvited anger   

I fume, looking down, my glass is empty  
I stand, going up, placing glass on bar  

A mirror before me, an annoyance at best  
As I wait for a paltry taste at societies behest...  
Wait!  
There, at the door, my eyes cannot thwart,  
A girl, no a goddess! of fiery report.  
She sits at a table with unworthy cohorts, 
Her dazzling smile, her electric gaze,  
Oh and her hair! Her hair a thousand embers ablaze!  
How it moves and sways to a dance of its own  
It has me enraptured for the beauty it has shone.  
And yet, sadly I know I am but simply a dog unknown,  
A leper, a thief, a squalid peasant to disown.  
A mockery of man, merely a boy to condone,  
A tiny pebble to her leer, when she seeks a marble stone,  
A Queen looking for a King to sit next to her throne.  

I sit here contemplating, a destiny to bemoan  
One...two....three....four  

Time before time, no meaning to deplore,
He drinks the fire, so he can no longer abhor.  
Towers of glass gleam tragically before,  
He stands from the bar, a mighty hero of yore  
And approaches said maiden with bravery galore!  

"I have seen thee from afar, I have seen thee well,  
and so I hath come to speak to thee to break thy spell.  
From first glimpse I hath wrought,  
From last light I hath fought,  
Forasmuch as mine heart thou hath taken  
And I fear thou may be mistaken,  
For I am simple and meek, a pauper no more,  
Simply unworthy for a goddess such as thee to adore."  

And then she would smile and offer her hand  
And the hero, with maiden, would fly away so grand.  

The microphone unleashes its unearthly squeals  
And the dreams I hold dear, this reality, it steals.  
And I notice the pints casually standing  
Atop the mottled paper ovals cheering my reflection.  
The girl still sits with her bothersome company,  
I still sit alone among my thoughts so trite
And I wonder sadly to myself  
If a simple word would end this tragic comedy 

"Hello."

Poetry 内の Seraph_Grymm によるリンク [MOD] Weekly Critique Thread 3

[–]ModifyBit 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

Really quite incredible.

Poetry 内の Seraph_Grymm によるリンク [MOD] Weekly Critique Thread 3

[–]ModifyBit 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

ごめんなさい。これは既にアーカイブしてあり、もう投票はできません。

This is rather excellent. Your last line gave me chills. Bravo!