上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 247

[–]FUPA69 334ポイント335ポイント  (124子コメント)

120 mph?

[–]anothershittyalt 99ポイント100ポイント  (83子コメント)

Squirrels can go 12 mph according to this link (there's a different source on the bottom as well fwiw).

I don't know whether that's on land or up a tree though.

[–]FUPA69 95ポイント96ポイント  (82子コメント)

So 10x less than what was claimed.

[–]Juslotting 69ポイント70ポイント  (9子コメント)

It's a typo

[–]pearthon 65ポイント66ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, he is talking about the squirrels that he sees after all.

[–]js3521 -5ポイント-4ポイント  (5子コメント)

The kid can't even proofread a single paragraph.

[–]Presentist 28ポイント29ポイント  (4子コメント)

Yeah, you're way smarter than that kid

[–]js3521 42ポイント43ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'll bet I could kick his ass too.

[–]jmerc83 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Shouldn't count on that.

[–]MrShoveyShove 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

If I played little League now I'd be way better than before

[–]MrJoseGigglesIII 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

My dad can beat up his dad!

[–]Pinyaka 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

One order of magnitude is okay for a biologist.

[–]Synonysis 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

His little brother probably writes info for the Pokedex.

http://imgur.com/nKOuc0d

[–]FuzzyWazzyWasnt 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not unless we just shot it!

[–]MagmaGuy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

In all fairness, this was promotional info made available at E3 when squirrels were announced.

[–]Circletwerk42 96ポイント97ポイント  (33子コメント)

That actually sounds reasonable for the terminal velocity of a squirrel. It's a bit high but I bet if you got rid of it's tail a squirrel could go 120 mph.

[–]bunnylover726 206ポイント207ポイント  (29子コメント)

As an engineer, my first thought was to capture a squirrel, cut its tail off, shove it into a potato gun and shoot it. My brain sometimes makes me think I'm a monster (cries)

[–]Ircza 158ポイント159ポイント  (8子コメント)

You are an engineer, of course you are a monster.

[–]dmaul 8ポイント9ポイント  (6子コメント)

I am going to need to see some empirical evidence.

[–]Anticept 36ポイント37ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well technically that doesn't make you a monster. Not having the restraint to stop you from carrying it out would make you a monster. A very entertaining monster.

[–]Sophophilic 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

But he'd have to record it. You know, for science.

[–]jhutchi2 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ok, a very very entertaining monster.

[–]HuntBoston1508 21ポイント22ポイント  (8子コメント)

But it has to be a circular squirrel with a perfect center of mass.

[–]lessdothisshit 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey, that's a physics major. We engineers know how to deal with that shit

[–]MEatRHIT 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

No... that's physics not engineering.

[–]johndoev2 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Engineering is applied science. Scientist would get the dimensions and mass of the squirrel, the accelaration force of the potato cannon and run simulations to test if it's possible. Engineers would capture a squirrel give the whole "trust me I'm an engineer" speech, and shoot it out a canon.

Whatever humanity we have is sucked out in engineering school. This is why "Morality and Ethics" is 1/3rd of the license test

[–]MrNeverSatisfied 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

Less to do with centre of mass, more to do with drag Co efficient, hence the cutting off the tail part

[–]HuntBoston1508 13ポイント14ポイント  (2子コメント)

whoosh.bmp

Did you hear that? It's the sound of the squirrel flying by.

[–]kingphysics 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

You might want to get your ears checked if you can hear .bmp files.

[–]MrNeverSatisfied 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Atleast i have a brain to process that sound

[–]hoochyuchy 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Of course you're a monster for suggesting that! A potato gun? What are you, 10? No, you need to tie the squirrel to a weather balloon with a timed release so that you can actually test its terminal velocity with and without a tail.

[–]notLOL 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Just use a dead one

[–]bunnylover726 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Can I kill it? Or does it have to be like dead on its own, dead?

[–]notLOL 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can buy it from your neighborhood child psychopath. Probably kills a few a week just for fun

[–]bennyis 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You'll want that tail for drag so he shoots like an arrow

[–]InterimFatGuy 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen squirrel?

[–]SnartFiffa 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was thinking use the tail to swing it.

[–]BeakerandBunsen 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe if you threw it off a tree.

[–]Icuras_II 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe I'm just dark, but I thought this was the joke. although still fast.

This does not work on cars though.

[–]iqaboveyou 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I spent 10 seconds trying to convince myself that squirrels could, in brief sprints, go 120mph.

[–]FUPA69 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That must have been funny to see in your head though, right?

[–]DarkCaterpie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know man. It seems a little ridiculous but this kid sounds like a squirrel expert to me. Imagine seeing him being interviewed on an Animal Planet documentary and at the bottom of the screen, he'll be labeled "Squirrel Scientist".

[–]iamnomoney 161ポイント162ポイント  (46子コメント)

Sounds like my little brother.

He got hit by a car, too.

[–]fork_yuu 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

HE CAN RUN 120MPH?!

[–]BassWool 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

And swiftly turn around 360 degrees!

[–]millamusen 46ポイント47ポイント  (41子コメント)

No

[–]Active_Mancano 27ポイント28ポイント  (40子コメント)

F

[–]51314a36596e427a656b 14ポイント15ポイント  (39子コメント)

A

[–]ricrodz 11ポイント12ポイント  (37子コメント)

N

[–]Omnipotent_Orifice 451ポイント452ポイント  (16子コメント)

[–]Xzillerationer 102ポイント103ポイント  (10子コメント)

Cuz cars can go faster than 120

[–]Glitch_King 55ポイント56ポイント  (0子コメント)

That sounds like proper science to me.

[–]AsylumPlagueRat 32ポイント33ポイント  (8子コメント)

Tell that to my Jeep...

[–]alvik 12ポイント13ポイント  (7子コメント)

He said cars, not SUVs.

[–]Sean1708 7ポイント8ポイント  (6子コメント)

Tell it to my Fiat Panda then.

[–]JedNascar 32ポイント33ポイント  (4子コメント)

He said cars, not large Asian land mammals.

[–]66bananasandagrape 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

Large Asian land mammals

Edit: Edited for Asians

[–]JedNascar 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I feel like I should point out that the man on the right is Takanoyama Shuntarō (A.K.A. Pavel Bojar), from the Czech Republic. He's not actually a large Asian land mammal.

[–]NoNations -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's like normal size for a certain American mammal.

[–]Sardonislamir 9ポイント10ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hey, where is the base image for that without text?

[–]YourEverydayUsername 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

A quick google search gave me this

[–]Omnipotent_Orifice 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just googled badass squirrel and found it

[–]AssSandwich 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It doesn't say they can run 120 mph, it says that their speed can reach 120 mph, which is technically true...

[–]Roscopicoman 141ポイント142ポイント  (0子コメント)

" We regret to inform your application to Yale university has been denied"

[–]Violets-Are-Blue 27ポイント28ポイント  (2子コメント)

When in that action it uses its legs and can turn then all the way around 360 degrees for swiftness when climbing.

He's got a future in blogging.

[–]DrDraek 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds like a sentence automatically translated from a Chinese website.

[–]Notcow 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also in the FaZe clan.

[–]svkb 37ポイント38ポイント  (20子コメント)

Does anyone else have trouble reading this? It seems the sentences are worded weirdly and I still have no idea what he's trying to say.

[–]nekoningen 43ポイント44ポイント  (4子コメント)

Souirell run around tree. Squirell run fast and shake tail to warn buddies of danger. Squirell run quick back and forth to confuse predator. Does not work on cars.

[–]PanRagon 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

Souirell

[–]wasMitNetzen 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Isn't that the Hogwarts teacher who had Voldemort on his head?

[–]julesburne 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

She said "little brother" so I'm assuming it's a kid's writing. Young writers, especially when they're being introduced to word processors, often have a lot of great ideas and funny shit to say, but still lack the grasp of sentence structure to express it clearly. That's why we teach them the grammar!

Source: am middle school teacher

[–]capn_untsahts 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

It was written by a 5th grader (10-11 years old).

[–]svkb 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am aware. I'm not slamming a kid's writing, I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that couldn't get what he was trying to convey, since everyone that commented before me seems to understand it fine.

[–]PlumbTheDerps 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I mean it looks like it was written by a 3rd grader for a science project, so it's not exactly going to be James Joyce material

[–]IndignantChubbs -5ポイント-4ポイント  (9子コメント)

Honestly I think the problem's on your end. For a non-professional writer this is way better than average and a breeze to follow.

[–]RyGuy997 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was readable, but certainly not anywhere close to 'better than average'. It's clearly written by a kid who hasn't read very many books.

[–]electricK00Laid 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

If this is better than average then we are in serious trouble.

[–]svkb -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was assuming it was my issue, I think it's just worded too differently from what I normally read, since I don't read the writing of many children.

I disagree that " this is way better than average." Unless you mean better than average for the age of the kid. Even in high school students are loads more eloquent and grammatically correct, not even mentioning non-pro adults.

[–]mark445 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

brother's

[–]thetouchdownkid 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

This adds further proof that Pokédex entries are written by children.

[–]FantasyFoody 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

120mph... it's fur would be ripped off clean if it ran 120mph.

[–]waterlilis 38ポイント39ポイント  (20子コメント)

What grade is he in?, he writes better than my freshly graduated sister.

[–]RyGuy997 129ポイント130ポイント  (4子コメント)

That was really bad writing though

[–]fork_yuu 39ポイント40ポイント  (0子コメント)

But then his sister's would be worse

[–]akbort -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's all relative. I'm a humanities major and we do a lot of peer review and I have to constantly keep myself in check to ensure I don't get too judgemental or end up on a high horse because I read some fucking atrocious writing. So this really isn't that bad. It helps to remind myself that there's probably a dozen things that they're better at than I am.

Also my redditing is in no way indicative of my writing abilities. I'm usually on mobile and sometimes stoned.

[–]wasMitNetzen 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

humanities major

sometimes stoned.

Checks out.

[–]PanRagon 27ポイント28ポイント  (7子コメント)

Well I certainly hope your sister didn't graduate with a degree in English, then...

[–]waterlilis 25ポイント26ポイント  (6子コメント)

Haha no, she just graduated from high school & unfortunately wasn't able to get in the UC she wanted due to her extremely bad essays.

[–]notLOL 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

You should have helped her lie

[–]theghostofme 19ポイント20ポイント  (2子コメント)

Or at least post her essays here so we can all mock her anonymously.

[–]RandomNobodyEU 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

I love feeling smarter than people that I don't know

[–]theghostofme 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty sure that could be Reddit's slogan. That or:

Reddit: Feel Smarter than You Actually Are!

[–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]TylerTJ930 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Not really. She didn't work hard enough in school so she didn't get into the college she wanted. Cause and effect

    [–]Soapiestlyric4[S] 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Fifth grade, and regardless of the naysayers, it's actually real. I don't have that kind of wit.

    [–]bigrich1776 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Funnier than most people in my undergrad writing classes.

    [–]BassWool -5ポイント-4ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I'm 80% sure op just wrote that. There's no proof whatsoever and anyone could print paper and say it was their friend or brother or something along those lines.

    [–]TylerTJ930 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

    The rule of thumb is that every time somebody posts a picture of a piece of paper and claims it's their dad's, son's, brother's, etc it's made up for karma

    [–]caelum19 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Or maybe, people have more relatives than selfs, so it's more likely not to be OP?

    [–]MrSquirrel0 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I am squirrel, can confirm. Tell brother to hand in assignment.

    [–]unassuming_squirrel 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Are you coming to the squirrel meeting on Tuesday?

    [–]GlobalVV 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Redditer for 2 years, this squirrel checks out.

    [–]carlip 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Wow, what kind of gas mileage do squirrels get?

    [–]unassuming_squirrel 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    About 12 acorns per mile city and 20 highway

    [–]mans1ayer 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I was leaning against a counter at work years ago. See some co-workers come running down an aisle chasing a squirrel toward the exit. It makes a sharp turn and bolts for me.

    I didn't care, was just enjoying the sight, but was wondering wtf was it doing. It continues toward me and I realize I need to do something. So I quickly pull my leg back, prepared to swat it away if it took just a few more steps toward me and it jumps 3 or 4 ft straight up in the air. I'm pretty sure the squirrel thought I was a tree and wanted to climb me. I'm black btw. o.o And no, I wasn't naked.

    [–]PunkAssGhettoBird 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    When you look at a squirrel, you might just see an animal. I see an animal with legs that can turn it 360 degrees.

    [–]goodygood_274 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about squirrels to dispute it.

    [–]notagreatguy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    he meant to say cats

    [–]Blarty97 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    So both your brothers had the same assignment?

    [–]balloonman_magee 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The thing is her little brother is 19 years old...

    [–]perr0 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    "When in that action it uses its legs and can turn them"

    [–]Jahayolt 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Squirrels sound like they can be trickshotters.

    [–]HappyfeetDN 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I kept looking for some hidden message in between the lines. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

    [–]Jovan008 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    A hit a squirrel once...It panicked, I slow down for it to move out of the road (which it did). Then, I speed up and it moved back on the road.

    [–]celticguy08 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

    What wasn't unexpected was how shitty of a paragraph that was.

    [–]ranchdepressing -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

    No lies detected.