What's something women do that's essentially shooting themselves in the foot when trying to meet guys?

Svardskampe · 14時間前

Not show signs of interest. A conversation can be just that; a platonic conversation. To actually show interest and make the guy know you are into him is another point.

EllenPaotriarchy · 14時間前

Thinking that the qualities they find attractive in men are the same qualities that men like in women.

westop · 13時間前

Some things I have seen, heard, or experienced. Some of these are even encouraged by their friends.

Not asking the guy out first.
Feigning disinterest to not seem needy.
Not helping with keeping the conversation going. One word answers.
Talking about their ex.
Bitching or complaining about stuff.
Only talking about herself.
Belittle the guy, so she seems like some prize for him to get.
Ask her girlfriends to give him the once over and start making fun of him.
Tell the guy how she "is just looking for a nice guy to settle down with and have kids, but everyone who approaches her are sleazeballs and jerks."
Not ask about the guy.
Bad or pessimistic attitude.
Start flirting with another guy to make you jealous.
Get too drunk.
Acting superficial.
Asking the guy to buy stuff for her.
Violence of any kind.
Puking on the guy.

Feroc · 12時間前

Checking mobile every 5 minutes
Talking about ex-boyfriends
Not showing any interest in what I just said

FreddyFeelgood · 14時間前

Not all women do this, but those who feel that simply being female is enough.

Gray_Squirrel · 14時間前

It's something they DON'T do, but nonetheless: not approaching or initiating a conversation.

adhominis · 10時間前

Feigning disinterest. Chances are I'll believe you and disengage.

i_heart_blondes · 14時間前

Expect me to read their mind. Want me to ask you out, then mention something you'd like to go to. If I pick it up in conversation just say you'd like to do it and maybe ask if I would like it to. That's clear enough to get a bite.

Talk about other guys. I know women base a lot on relationships but leave out that you were with a boyfriend when talking about an experience you had. Especially if it was recent.

Breath mint.

bathoz · 7時間前

Playing hard to get. If you give off 'nope' signals – even coy ones – it's over.

The bit in the Pitch Perfect 2 trailer with "No" {wink}, means no. I'm going to take that and leave.

Lost_in_Thought · 14時間前

A condescending statement along the lines of "...Men..."

pridejoker · 12時間前

felt like making this thread cuz I've been going through a pattern where the girls I've been meeting and talking to are being playful and hard to get (which I'm not that bothered by), but sometimes they take it too far and the interaction just dies. Eventually I have to do hit them up with a reinitation text or sometimes they'll even text me after a few weeks saying "what happened? how come we never did x y and z?"

"uh cuz you kept being coy and throwing out line after line of yes, no, maybe followed by a ";)"

jt3611 · 3時間前

A friend of my girlfriend asked me why guys never really hit on her while we were out but all of their single (and less attractive) friends got a lot more attention. I asked why it mattered since she was engaged (I did not know her well at this point.) She was confused and asked why I would think she was engaged. I said "If you're not engaged, then you should take off the fucking ring on your left ring finger."

Leezoat · 13時間前

Feminism is great, but if it is a large enough part of your life that you actually consider it part of your identity, my experiences tell me you will be insufferable. Just don't bring it up.

Same with being progressive.

Vandredd · 5時間前

"whatever you want to do"

GoBackToUzbekistan · 11時間前

The big one for me is assuming subtle body language is a universal sign of interest. Ladies, there are no universal signs of interest unless they are explicitly obvious like you putting your hand down my pants and telling me "I want this now."

Anytime you hear men being self deprecating about how oblivious they are, they're actually just taking the blame away from you. The reason men seem oblivious is because what constitutes as a sign of interest to one woman might be just friendly interaction to another. I once made the mistake of thinking a girl was into me because she went out of her way to sit on my lap at a dinner party when there were empty chairs around us. She was just being friendly because I was like a teddy bear to her. Apparently, some women don't realize that putting your ass on a man's lap could be construed as flirting.

Meanwhile, another girl once teased me by saying I missed an obvious sign of interest when she stood in front of me with her legs crossed over. What the fuck kind of an obvious sign of interest is that?

Women are just as bad, if not worse than men when it comes to communicating these things. It's just that men choose to take the blame because we all have an inner white knight that likes to take responsibility for everything that goes wrong when it comes to relationships.

PigeonsOnYourBalcony · 13時間前

If I want to catch a dog I'm not going to leave a saucer of milk out and hope he comes by, I'm going to think like a dog and act accordingly.

This is how so many women shoot themselves in the foot when trying to meet men, they act as if their target's nature is identical to their own but it isn't. Anyone with half a brain can tell you that men and women think differently but for some reason I see women act as if men and women are the same. If you want to appeal to women then start asking women out, but if you want a boyfriend then appeal to his nature, how he thinks and then you'll get results.

atlasimpure · 8時間前

"I'm not like other girls."

Lost_Afropick · 4時間前

Trying to do what she thinks typical guy stuff is. Toilet/gross out humour really doesn't do it for me. I hate it (from guys as well).

Being mean about other women present. It doesn't elevate you above them by your comparison. Just makes me think you're mean.

Current_Poster · 11時間前

These aren't so much "instant failure", so much as "time and a place, and this wasn't it" stuff, but:

-Just not holding up her end of a conversation. If someone I've just met is talking to me but keeps trailing off, making noncommital answers, and otherwise just not doing much, it's kind of confusing.

-Insulting herself in such a way that I feel compelled to "do something". Some healthy modesty or self-deprecation is good, but there's a certain point after which it either feels like a "compliment me" prompt or something I probably don't know enough about you to be useful about.

Worst example: In college, I was out and talking with a girl who said she was positive she was gonna tank on an upcoming final in her major. I told her I was sure she was gonna do fine- generic social encouragement, you know? She laid into me with "how do you know? You don't know me", at enough length that I pointed out that she could be studying instead of out ruining someone's night off by yelling at them for trying to be nice. That was the end of it, and that was for the best.

Basically, it was a no-win situation. Nobody likes those. If you're telling a guy that you think you're unattractive, that's another one. There's no good response to that.

-This is one of those 'everyone' things, but I'm not "men" any more than she's "women". I understand about nerves, and I get that going meta and talking about the process of socializing while in the process helps some people, but I'm not there as a customer-service rep for my gender.

"Why do you...?" questions about 'guy behavior' I wasn't there for, seriously wouldn't do or (in some cases) don't get any more than you do just aren't appreciated.

-Insult-joking is something you earn. Or at least don't do right away. It's not a walk-in thing. (I'm presuming you don't do this, but there's a difference between getting jabbed at by a friend or loved one and some stranger being an ass. And not everyone knows that.)

StillNeverNotFresh · 3時間前

Following their fucking friends' terrible advice

KazanTheMan · 12時間前

Dropping subtle hints.

Assuming that because they are attractive and female, they deserve to be treated better than the person they are with.

ridingthetaxi · 9時間前

Do not go out in groups bigger than 2!! The more and more girls in a group, the more closed off the circle becomes and the harder it is to talk to anyone girl individually and get to know her

i_cant_tell_you · 12時間前

Over the past few weeks I have had multiple women start a conversation, then walk away when I am mid sentence. They seemed very interested in me (looking nervous and giggling a lot) then just get too nervous and leave. Just tonight at work, a woman who had been checking me out all night walked up to the line and waved while nervously smiling and giggling. I said "Hey! How are you are walking away now. Alright, good talk" Shame because she was pretty cute too

justbe- · 12時間前

Be negative about other people, talk about their sex life.

MachineMagic2 · 5時間前

A lot of women walk around with a very entitled attitude, like a man ought to be grateful that he has her attention. Like they're doing you a favor by letting you take them out.

A lot of women also bring absolutely nothing to a relationship except pussy, because they're too self-absorbed and narcissistic to actually appreciate men.

A lot of women just end up getting used for sex because of this -- men are only interested in them because of the challenge they present, and once that challenge has been overcome and they've slept with her, she has nothing left to keep them interested. And once a guy is no longer in pussy-hunting mode, he starts to notice the massive personality deficits, the entitlement more befitting a princess, and the inability to genuinely love and appreciate other human beings, all of which are real turn-offs.

MiatasAreForGirls · 14時間前

I usually lose all hope of getting with them when they bring up their husband or boyfriend.

MrFister6688 · 14時間前

It depends who you're talking to. I'd say interrupting is a big one though.

Ebriate · 4時間前

The smartphone and her desire to fill every available social media site with bullshit, too much texting and the constant desire to look at it. It's so fucking annoying. Put the phone away.

rainbowmoon · 5時間前

But guys, what about the feeling of 'I want to talk to him but I don't want to come across as clingy'? Where is the line? :/

I get the whole 'if you like him, go for it' mindset, but what about from his side. I would die if I knew a guy thought 'oh god, her again' after seeing my name pop up on his phone.

Does this make sense? Sorry, I'm running on 4 hours sleep

Thepaladinofchaos · 11時間前

Not being funny or interesting.

rockcanteverdie · 12時間前

Getting drunk, using phone.

speaksInJavaScript · 7時間前

guysInTheWorld = 3000000000;

guysThatApproachInAGivenWeek = 3;

function proportionILike(numberOfGuys) {
    return numberOfGuys * .25
};

meritOfPassiveness = proportionILike(guysThatApproachInAGivenWeek);

meritOfAssertiveness = proportionILike(guysInTheWorld);

meritOfAssertiveness > meritOfPassiveness;

true

thatguyhere92 · 14時間前

Sitting down on their ass with a stank ass bitch face thinking their entitled; and thinking their looks garner respect.

ChuckyJo · 10時間前

Being way too subtle. Flirting's well and good, but if you like a guy don't assume he knows it just because you're talking to him.

Agreeing too much. I'm not saying to be argumentative, but a challenging my opinions (and being able to back up why!) makes you more interesting to talk to not less

Not taking the initiative to move things from the conversation stage. If the conversation is good, don't leave it there. Say "do you want to go see that movie" or "hey, you should come over this weekend, I'll show you that thing" or whatever. Extend an invitation or give him a specific instruction to follow up on.

wtknight · 6時間前

Not being more direct. I can understand women not wanting to make the first move but they should at least try to give clearer signals when they are interested in a guy. Some women are better at this than others, of course.

Lost_Afropick · 5時間前

Standing in the bar in big groups. Or going out with a male friend or relative while actively looking to get hit on.

I'm fairly confident approaching women but in large groups nuh uh. I won't do it. Two women I can walk up to and speak to. Three or more, no way.

And I'll assume a guy you're with is your guy and I'm not talking to you.

megazver · 4時間前

Literally shooting yourself in the foot is not high on my list of turn-ons.

almostSFW · 3時間前

Too much self-deprecating humor to the point where it's coming off as a lack of confidence.

such-a-mensch · 1時間前

IF a girl i'm interested acts like she's dumb or flighty I immediatly loose interest. I've walked away mid conversation when a girl flipped her hair and gave a "tee hee''

That's some manipulative shit right there, I know it and you know it and if you're going to act dumb I'm going to treat you like you're dumb. Have some agency and i'll respect you enough to take you home.

dicklord_airplane · 3時間前

acting snarky or shitty towards the guy in the hope that he will push through your resistance and win you over. putting up shields like that usually just makes a guy want to give up and find a less bitchy girl. we ain't got time for any of that hard-to-get nonsense. girl, your eggs are drying up while you sit around playing masturbatory mind games.
not showing any sexual interest.
not carrying the conversation. some girls sit quietly waiting for the guy to ask all the questions and lead the whole conversation, and that's not fun.
not asking for the guys number or at least saying that you want to see him again. don't wait for him to do everything.
talking about exes or other guys.
being arrogant, judgmental, negative.
talking about feminism or social justice stuff. you'll look similar to one of those annoying, cringey atheists. evangelizing social politics causes erectile dysfunction, especially if it's a set of socio-political beliefs that are hostile to men in general.

TheBlindCat · 6時間前

Expecting men tondo all the work of approaching, asking for numbers, initiating communication, planning dates, etc. Women in 2015 who revel in gender roles of 1950 are asking for disappointment.

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