Oh, youre a lawyer, no wonder you think you can argue your way into reality! Not how the worls works outisde of law. Lawyers never get this... As my exwife was/is a family lawyer, and I was in that life, tons of friends and contacts, learning all about it second hand for 8 years (plus supporting her through law school, etc), I do know more than average people. Total side topic in terms of fault no fault, and beyond the fact that the courts default to set the woman up better than the man (in no fault states like California), that is not anything I can control, or any sentiment projected to this conversation. This is about bedroom issues, so stay in topic counselor. Your soapbox speech about all that is largely irrelevant, and lends no credibility to the rest of what you are saying.

Doesnt surprise me you are in an open marriage with this attitude. While it is a mutual agreement you are in now, and to each their own, it stems from a have my cake and eat it too approach to life. I didnt put words in your mouth, you were the one that said the second he wanted to quit trying you were out the door and on to a string of rebound guys. Which, be it a revenge motive or to fill the hole in your heart and soul (which it never will btw), it is all about you. Ok, you have someone else who you can share a selfish approach to life. Do the exbfs and gfs from your side affairs all get to come to the funeral? Maybe a set of russian doll type earns on each side with some of all of their ashes? Again, you have talked yourself into all this soooooo much you cannot see the forrest through the trees.

You are actually the man hater here. You use men for what you want, again it being all about you. I do not actually believe this is what OP is saying, nor does she seem like you. Being so quick to accuse misogyny stems from a fear of being identified as a man hater. Its like politics today, accuse the other first to try and put them on the defensive so they seem less credible. Unfortunetely, it is a straw man argument, and easily identifiable. Nothing I have said is woman hating at all, nor do I hate women, even if you hate yourself or whatever your deep rooted psych issues are.

I did not say this was all her fault either. You again are just trying to manipulate my words to justify your position, which is what exactly? Womens libs should allow you to use sex as a tool for manipulation? Youre not even really making a clear point.

What I am doing is rwding between the lines and offering an alternative perspective from a guy who sees this all too often. This couple has been together a while, they have been to sex therapy, and in a way he is trying to take pressure off himself and the whole situation (which is likely one of the biggest contributors to her lack of orgasm from sex as she is not in the right mental or emotional state). I am saying if he is at this point, but he still wants to have sex and her still wants her to orgasm in general, that her sexual pleasure is not off his table. He just doesnt know what else to do. She has never or not in a long time had an orgasm with him. She makes him feel like a failure, and that has brought him to this point. This is her fault, even if the orgasmic failures are both their fault. While you are right, I do not know exactly all the circumstances, I know what wod lead a guy to this point, and it doesnt sound like she is getting any of that perspective, especially from you.

So, go on with your man hating ways. Lash out and throw us a under the bus. But dont expect to run all this bs and not have someone say something back to you. Just like her quitting on sex in marriage because his work around suggestion sucks (and his approach really does suck, but in now way should that end this issue) should never be an option. If it is, she is not interested in sex for herself, but more what sex can do for her. Its totally different. And so many women do take the option she is contemplating it should be discussed and addressed. Its the wrong solution, and there are too many unhappy marriages because of this barter of sex for whatever is desired. In this case she desires better sex, ok, but if she cannot step back and say "maybe my approach to this has been all wrong so far" then she isnt even interested in solving the problem.

Whatever desire she has recently lost, for him to be where he is at, she beat his desire for her out of him long ago...