Trigger Warning: The following text contains allusions to rape. Everything that takes place in the following video is consensual but may resemble rape. It is not a reenactment but may seem like one. If at any point you are triggered or upset, please proceed with caution and/or exit this website. However, I do not mean to be prescriptive, for many people find pleasure in feeling upset.

Ceci N'est Pas Un Viol is not about one night in August, 2012. It's about your decisions, starting now. It's only a reenactment if you disregard my words. It's about you, not him.

Do not watch this video if your motives would upset me, my desires are unclear to you, or my nuances are indecipherable.

You might be wondering why I've made myself this vulnerable. Look—I want to change the world, and that begins with you, seeing yourself. If you watch this video without my consent, then I hope you reflect on your reasons for objectifying me and participating in my rape, for, in that case, you were the one who couldn't resist the urge to make Ceci N'est Pas Un Viol about what you wanted to make it about: rape.

Please, don't participate in my rape. Watch kindly.

A special thank you to everyone who made Ceci N'est Pas Un Viol possible, especially my actor (*********), my director (Ted Lawson), and those I love who have guided and supported me.

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Here are a few questions to help you reflect.

• Searching:
  • Are you searching for proof? Proof of what?
  • Are you searching for ways to either hurt or help me?
  • What are you looking for?
• Desiring:
  • Do you desire pleasure?
  • Do you desire revulsion? Is this to counteract your unconscious enjoyment?
  • What do you want from this experience?
• Me:
  • How well do you think you know me? Have we ever met?
  • Do you think I'm the perfect victim or the world's worst victim?
  • Do you refuse to see me as either a human being or a victim? If so, why? Is it to deny me agency and thus further victimize me? If so, what do you think of the fact that you owe your ability to do so to me, since I'm the one who took a risk and made myself vulnerable in the first place?
  • Do you hate me? If so, how does it feel to hate me?

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This is the video: