Why We're Bitter

MsZuko · 2時間前

All I know is, if I found out Kim Kardashian took a really big shit today, I'd be jealous. I wish I could poop.

tittypuncher · 3時間前

Also I'd like to add a giant FUCK YOU to anyone who thinks it's ok to tell someone how to feel about their infertility. FUCK YOU.

duppyconquerer · 3時間前

I took a break from this sub for a while and checked in yesterday, and it was like

I just want to say, for whatever my two cents is worth, that this post is an example of the kind of participation that I think is lovely and supportive for our "graduates" to have in this sub. We've had a few instances (not just yesterday) of graduates coming back here to berate someone for not suffering correctly, and I just have to say, FUCK THAT. Like seriously, gtfo with that.

I know IF can/will fuck you up forever and I really sympathize with that. But there are subs for people who are in the graduate phases of IF. This one is for people in the trenches.

I just would hope that if someone who doesn't HAVE to be here wants to post s/he would think for 5 seconds about whether she's making this a better place for those behind her on the path. You might not feel it because of IF PTSD, but your words have a different weight here when you have achieved one of the outcomes we are all desperate for.

If you come here and start shit with someone who's still trying, you're not just being another cranky infertile, you're punching down, and nobody here needs that on top of everything else.

fawnhollow · 3時間前

There were some amazing comments mixed in there and some totally awful ones. Yikes.

I truly hate how bitter infertility has made me. I don't want to give a shit about K&K but I still felt the pang of envy when I saw it pop up in the news while on my lunch break yesterday. I found it comforting to come here and see I wasn't alone. We are all entitled to a moment of anger and envy. Most of the time we know it's not rational. I don't think we should judge each other so harshly or divide into two camps. Infertility is lonely and hard enough. We need to stick together.

bxchica84 · 1時間前

I just want to say this, some one was upset I wrote that I've been struggling for 8 years. Yes it shouldn't be a pain contest, but if someone who has had say 8 miscarriages talks to me yeah I'm gonna say she has it harder than me cause I can't imagine that pain. Someone who has be struggling for a year emotionally is not the same as someone who been through more. It all sucks the same, but for crying out loud have some empathy for ppl who been through more. This is our place to vent may you agree with it or not. We are not all horrible bitter ppl, we do support each other, but we are allowed to either feel bitter or not. Its not anyone's place to judge how someone else is coping. So on that note, I support all you ladies and gent's.

sonalogy · 3時間前

You know, call me weird (you wouldn't be the first) but other people having children does not make me bitter. I mean, I get why it does for others here. But, honestly, I can't find it in me to get upset about this, particularly when it's someone so irrelevant to my day to day as Kim Kardashian.

And as I said, I get that other people do get very upset over this, and why. And I get that everyone needs to vent.

But maybe it's that I am a writer. I've had some success as a writer. But, that still means that I can pour my heart and soul into a story and have it rejected twenty-five times in a row. Many of my friends are writers and I see them succeed in the same places that have rejected me. Some of them write stuff I can't stand. Heck, I see poorly written crap like 50 Shades of Gray make millions of dollars, and I see people who have worked less hard get more recognition, and still I collect rejection number 26 and have to find it in me to believe this story has a home somewhere and send it out again. And it is like this almost every day. Hundreds of indicators that other people get to live the dream and I get another rejection and send it out again and hope that this time i get to be grateful to make $50.

It would be really easy to be bitter and envious all the time. Heck, many writers are.

But at some point, I had to make my peace with the fact that there will always be someone else whose work I don't respect will win the awards and get the money and the fame and the movie deal. Even if I see greater success, it's still a path filled with rejection and people getting ahead of me despite having done less. I had to separate the results from who I am, and feel good about who I am anyway.

So I mean yeah, I still have moments, but that's all they are. Moments. They pass.

I find it is not so different with infertility. There will always be people, even people I don't respect, having children more easily than me. Meanwhile I will go through everything and still face failure month after month, no matter what I do. It's likewise something I have to make my peace with. I can't live in constant bitterness.

If I wanted to sit down and make a list of reasons why I should be bitter and envious, I could sit here all day getting angry. Getting angry at people I don't even know just expends energy I need for other things in my life. Compare, and despair.

It is, indeed, a totally natural and normal response to be envious, but I also do think this is something we all have to come to terms with while we are in the process. The world is not going to stop having babies because we can't. Kardashians are gonna Kardashian. My getting upset and angry about her, while a normal response, is likewise only going to hurt me unless I find a way to be okay with the fact that irritating people exist in the world and sometimes do things that I wish I could.

Pardon me if I am sounding preachy. I do strongly believe all feelings are normal and should be respected. But sometimes you still need to do something about those feelings, lest they hurt you in the end. And why waste the energy on someone so trivial as Kim Kardashian?

tittypuncher · 3時間前

A-FUCKING-MEN

infertility

調停者