Before he was sentenced to life in prison, Ross Ulbricht made the longest public statement since his arrest, standing up and addressing the judge who had his life in her hands.

"I've changed," he told US District Judge Katherine Forrest. "I'm not the man I was when I created Silk Road. I'm not the man I was when I was arrested. I'm a little wiser, a little more mature, and a lot more humble."

"I've spent a lot of time grappling with the possibility that I'll never be free," said Ulbricht, noting he had already been in prison for 20 months, with plenty of time to think. "Asking myself, where did I go wrong? I wish I could go back and convince myself to take a different path. I can't do that. But I can learn from my past."

He'd "ruined his life," he said, and broke the hearts of his family and friends.

"Even though I didn't agree with the law I've still been convicted of a crime and must be punished," Ulbricht said. "I respect the law and its authority now."

Mercy wasn't forthcoming. Forrest had read all the material Ulbricht and his lawyers provided. She agonized over the sentencing, her heaviest responsibility as a judge, she said. She spent more than 100 hours considering Ulbricht's case alone. She read his arguments on "harm reduction," and went above and beyond, even rattling off a list of journal articles she'd read, with names like "The Mostly Unintended Effects of Mandatory Minimums."

In addition, Ulbricht had no criminal history, and submitted nearly 100 letters in support of his character were "profoundly moving," the judge said.

None of that would matter in the end. Forrest gave him life.

Parents

Before the sentence was handed down, the court heard from two parents of young men who died from drugs purchased on the Silk Road.

Richard, the father of "Brian B." spoke, saying how his son wasn't into drugs, but had tried heroin during his senior year of college, "realized it was a mistake, and fought off cravings to do it again."

But discovering Silk Road was too much temptation, his father said. At the age of 25, shortly after moving to Boston, Brian ordered from the site. He died from an overdose, and a package from the Silk Road was found just a few feet away from his body.

His son would never have bought from a dealer on the street, Richard said. "I strongly believe my son would be here today if not for Silk Road... Your Honor, Ross Ulbricht deserves the most severe punishment the law will allow."

The mother of Preston B. spoke next, having come to court all the way from Perth, Australia. Preston died after taking "N-bomb," distributed by a friend at his high school prom.

"He was told by his friend that the drug was only to keep you awake, and make you feel happy," his mother said.

It didn't work that way with Preston, who became "very aggressive" and began speaking what his friends described as "another language." When his friends tried to help him down the stairs, he jumped from a second-story balcony, and later died of his head injuries.

The dealer who sold the drugs taken by Preston offered free extras for anyone who bought 10 or 20 tabs, his mother said. "Silk Road made it easily accessible to everyone, children included."

Ulbricht

The lawyers spoke next, with the prosecution pointing out that the two grieving parents underscored "the global reach of Silk Road."

The site wasn't a "rash decision by some kid," said prosecutor Serrin Turner. "The defendant was a grown man, with plenty of intelligence and education. He knew exactly what he was doing."

Defense lawyer Joshua Dratel urged the judge to stick to the minimum sentence, which was 20 years because Ulbricht was convicted of a "continuing criminal enterprise," the so-called "drug kingpin" charge.

"20 years is greater than what's necessary," said Dratel. "If in 20 years he's released, no one will say 'That was too short.' The intent and impact are no different than any other drug case."

He pointed out that Peter Nash, a Silk Road moderator, had just been released after a 17 month sentence.

Then Ross himself spoke, breaking into tears as he told the judge he was a changed man. The prosecutors had said he was driven by greed and vanity—that wasn't true, he said.

"I'm not a greedy or vain person by nature," he said. "I wasn't raised that way. I remember clearly why I started Silk Road." He continued:

I wanted to empower people to be able to make choices for themselves, and have privacy and anonymity. I'm not going to say that to justify anything that happened, because it doesn't. I just want to set the record straight. I'm not a self-centered or sociopathic person. I made some very serious mistakes.

I do love freedom. It's been devastating to lose it. If I had one more chance before I pass on, there would be little joys, like throwing a Frisbee to a dog in a park, or Thanksgiving dinner with my family, that would mean a lot to me.

My nieces and nephews, I would try to share the wisdom I've gained with them. Try to help them not make the same mistakes that I made. It's in me to want to have a positive impact.

My attempt at Silk Road ended in ruin. If I ever get a second chance... everything I do will only have positive effects on those around me.

"I'm so sorry to the families of the deceased," he said, referring to the parents who had spoken before him. "I want you to know that I'm ready for whatever sentence you think is wise."

Forrest

After Ulbricht spoke, the proceedings took a short recess.

"I have spent well over one hundred hours considering this sentence," said Judge Forrest upon her return. "I've run over and over it in my mind from every angle. What is a just sentence? What does that mean?"

The guidelines for Ulbricht's crimes pointed to life, but she wasn't bound by those, she noted.

"You don't fit a typical criminal profile," she began. "It's not TV or the movies in here. You're educated. You've got two degrees, an intact family, and 98 people willing to write letters on your behalf. And yet, we have you. And you are a criminal."

"I know that word even today may sound harsh to you, even today," said Forrest.

Ulbricht had been betrayed by his own words, and over the next several minutes, Forrest proceeded to read the most damning passages from his own logs and journals. ("It's still not clear to me why you kept a journal," she noted, an aside that apparently produced laughter in the overflow room.)

"This democracy we set up, it did not exist on the Silk Road," she said. "You were captain of the ship. It wasn't a world of 'freedom'—it was a place with a lot of rules. It was a world of your laws."

Ulbricht decided what was bought and sold on Silk Road. When a staffer pointed out cyanide was being sold, Ulbricht as DPR pointed out it was a potent substance that could be used for murder or suicide—and then allowed the sale.

"Within six minutes you made that decision," Forrest noted.

She didn't believe that it was a "naive young man" who created Silk Road.

"It was a carefully planned life's work," she said, pointing to a 2010 journal entry saying he'd already been thinking about the site for a year. "It was your opus. You wanted it to be your legacy—and it is."

Ulbricht's ideological messages on Silk Road boards "reveal a kind of arrogance," she said. "Silk Road's creation shows that you thought you were better than the laws."

As for the "harm reduction" arguments, the judge could not have been more cutting. She read every academic study suggested by the defense, and then some, and was not impressed.

"No drug dealer from Harlem or the Bronx would have made these arguments," said Forrest. "It's an argument of privilege."

Ulbricht was focused on harm that could come the user. But most drug violence didn't come from buys on the street, but from "upstream" violence that grows as demand grows, she asserted. Believing that the user is the only person affected by drug violence is "fantasy, it's magical thinking," she said.

"Poppies for heroin come from Mexico or Afghanistan," said Forrest. "When Silk Road expands the market, it is expanding the demand." Silk Road brought drugs to communities that didn't have access to  them, in "staggering quantities," she added.

As for Fernando Caudevilla, or "Doctor X," the Spanish doctor hired by Ulbricht to give advice to users, the judge read his messages, and found them "breathtakingly irresponsible."

Caudevilla told a diabetic that using MDMA would be OK, as long as he remembered to check his glucose levels by setting an alarm. In another message, he advised an 18-year-old first time drug user to "be careful and I think you'll be fine," and to "stick to psychedelics."

Silk Road had done "great harm to the social fabric," the judge concluded. "Your case is without precedent. You are first. For those considering stepping into your shoes, they need to understand, there will be very severe consequences. There must be no doubt that lawlessness will not be tolerated."

For drug crimes, Ulbricht was sentenced to two life sentences, to be served concurrently. In the US federal justice system, there is no parole available from a life sentence. For aiding and abetting the distribution of computer hacking tools, fake IDs, and for money laundering, he was sentenced to five years, 15 years, and 20 years, respectively.