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[relationships]u/yahthatgirl describes perfectly the slow cycle of abuse that OP is experiencing by her husband after he hurts her cat (np.reddit.com)

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[–]Artector42 30ポイント31ポイント  (46子コメント)

I find it interesting that nobody is mentioning this guy around children. He lost his temper at a cat and injured it. What do you think he'll do to a kid? I don't have much faith.

[–]zoso471 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I just want to point out that this is one side of the story and some people need to relax. I've seen some comments extrapolating this instance told by a person who may be biased to "get away he's a sociopath, he's a serial killer, etc. etc"

Fackin reddit and their cats

[–]ShredderIV 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Seriously.

I have seen a lot of cat owners who give every excuse for the shit their annoying cat does. For all we know it could be an awful cat that this lady doesn't realize is terrible that is constantly messing with the guy and he snapped.

To take this one-sided story and say this guy is gonna abuse her is unreal.

[–]lowey2002 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thats what I took out of this as well. Dude lost his temper at a misbehaved cat who took a swipe at him. He's probably been putting up with it's bullshit for four years because he know his wife loves it.

I fail to see how this is a prelude to abuse.

[–]slamgauge 6ポイント7ポイント  (9子コメント)

This makes me think of when I was young and my mom got a Siamese cat that was mean as shit. It liked my mom but would randomly attack me and my dad. One time it pounced on my head while I was watching cartoons and scratched me bad enough to make me cry and draw blood. My dad saw it happen, picked the cat up and threw the cat against the wall hard. My dad was always super chill and laid back but I guess he was tired of that cats bullshit.

[–]candygram4mongo 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is exactly what I was calling out the linked poster (not the OP) for. It's not OK to subject your family to repeated attacks from a pet. I don't think your father's response, or the OP's husband's response, are a good way to react to the problem, but holy shit how can you justify allowing an animal to, repeatedly, physically harm your child? You either train it to behave properly, or you get rid of it.

[–]Neex 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I cringe at how excited the vet tech sounds as she psycho-analyzes the woman from her post and then goes on (with the support of many other posters) to do her best to convince OP to divorce her husband.

I sense a bit of a lust for drama making its way into her advice.

[–]jusjerm 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

As soon as someone brings an animal into a post on /r/relationships, you can expect pitchforks. There was one post about a guy mercy-killing a bird that was filled with animal abuse commentary.

[–]sadyoshi 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, and how proud she seemed about how her cat has repeatedly attacked her husband and KIDS and they have learned to deal with it. A scratch is just a scratch, but it is frustrating to live in your own home with it around.

[–]chunklemcdunkle 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ugh, seriously. The way the person was saying that OP was walking on eggshells and being painfully careful about the way she writes made me cringe the most. "You don't need to write 5 paragraphs about why your husband is a good guy and would never do this!" Person, she didn't even say that. She spent 5 paragraphs telling the story which, when asking for advice, I'd want to know as much as possible.

Yeah the husband is an asshole. And he may just be abusive. He most definitely acts like a petulant child from time to time, given what I read. But this is probably one of the stupidest best ofs I have seen. Hopefully it will help someone else.

[–][削除されました]  (6子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]profheg_II 15ポイント16ポイント  (5子コメント)

    The husband sounds like a dick. I would certainly think pretty low of anyone who clearly hurts and animal and doesn't seem to care about it. But the leap that the vet tech is taking from that into the whole "your husband is abusive, you are in an abusive relationship" is HUGE in how assuming and presumptuous it is. Even a very well qualified person wouldn't be able to judge an entire relationship's dynamic from one story about when the husband hurt the cat. I mean maybe the vet tech is right but that would be more a fluke than them being wise. This kind of opportunistic ranting about issues when there's very little initial substance really grates on me.

    [–]thewoodendesk 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This kind of opportunistic ranting about issues when there's very little initial substance really grates on me.

    Well, that's /r/relationships for you.

    [–]michaelnoir 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

    There are two sides to every story. Reddit has made an idiot out of itself several times before by jumping to stupid conclusions on sparse evidence.

    [–]Hypopyon 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

    OP gave too much meaning and planning to the male's actions, and not giving enough weight to what impulsivity and anger management problems can cause. An arsehole hurting a cat does not mean he's an abusive partner. There's way too many shitty psychological links in both threads. Half of the OP is guesswork. People just love a good narrative.

    [–]neenerpants 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The part where she says "Does he break his own things? No! He's obviously deliberately controlling his own anger in a way to hurt you out of malice" seemed really off to me. Firstly she has absolutely no idea if he does or doesn't break his own things, and secondly even if he doesn't I think it's a stretch to say that he's secretly in control of his anger and deliberately channels it in a way to get at his wife.

    I mean don't get me wrong, he sounds like a douchebag, but this vet makes him sound like he's a genuinely evil psychopath who's one step away from burying his wife under the patio.