Everything's A Problem

JUSTICE. Justice, brothers and sisters. That is what we seek. And, finally, we have a measure of it: the vile act of manspreading is now a criminal offense. That’s right, dudebros. No more lounging about whilst the women scrunch their legs together in fear. Your days are numbered, and Gothamist brings us the good news:

On a recent visit to the arraignment part in Brooklyn’s criminal court, PROP volunteers observed that police officers had arrested two Latino men on the charge of “man spreading” on the subway, presumably because they were taking up more than one seat and therefore inconveniencing other riders. Before issuing an [adjournment contemplating dismissal] for both men, the judge expressed her skepticism about the charge because of the time of the arrests: “12:11AM, I can’t believe there were many people on the subway”. …

the judge, instead of dismissing the midnight manspreading charge outright, issued what’s known as an ACD, a decision meaning all the charges will be thrown out if the defendant doesn’t get arrested for a certain amount of time.

Of course, even this small measure of justice is problematic. Everything’s a problem, after all. It’s good that the scourge of spreading is being brought under control. But did the cops really need to go after a couple of minorities to make their point? As Gothamist notes in the caption of the photo that accompanies their post, folks like Matthew Broderick—a white man, whose white man tears are probably very tasty—are “statistically unlikely to be ticketed or arrested.” 

SMDH. I dream of a day when all manspreaders are equally liable to be arrested for their crimes.

I give the transgression of manspreading three problematics.

However, I also give the transgression of cracking down against the wrong kind of manspreaders three problematics.