I said it last time and I'll say it again. Honest communication about this. You should be sober, kind and not tie the conversation to pre- or post-sex times.

It's been 8 days since you posted. If you're having sex 3-4 times a week topping him, that can be hard on someone's rear. Also, if they have a sensitive rear or low pain tolerance, that could still be entirely too much. That's the physical argument.

Now the emotional. Dude. You're 26 years old and can't hear the words "no, just finish" without a massive red flag going off? No, you don't get credit for asking how to make it better for him. Because once again, you are missing the point. You're treating the symptom and ignoring the disease. "No, just finish" means he's getting zero pleasure from the situation and that should bother you a lot. To the point that you stop all sex with him out of respect to what he's going through. You can't just pound him into liking what you're doing. He doesn't. Look, it could be something you're doing. It could be something he's dealing with emotionally you don't know about. Whatever the reason, he's not into sex with you right now and you owe it to him (and he owes it to you) to have a conversation about why.

That "why" is important. It's not a "why he doesn't want the ultimate physical experience," "why he isn't into you or doesn't appreciate you," "why it doesn't feel good, or he doesn't feel good enough during sex," or "why he doesn't like it as much as you do." This "why" is about whatever is underneath all those questions and what's causing his actions. You're gonna need to take some time, be empathetic, stop all attempts to try to have sex with him and really ferret this out. On his end, he has to talk to you about this. Without crying. Without shutting down. Without freaking out. You have to talk like two adults. Two adults who have equally important and relevant viewpoints- he's not in the wrong here any more than you (and if he is in the wrong, boy oh boy are you so much more in the wrong). You have a guy who is trying to please you despite clear emotional trauma on his end and despite all your claims to care about this guy, you keep coming back to why you can't have sex with him 3-4 times a week. It's time for you to step up and be there for him regardless of how much sex (and I strongly recommend none for a few weeks- it really won't kill you) you two are having.