Except rape play literally has the word ‘rape’ in it. It is a sexual act. It is about re-enacting rape. They are directly related.

It is literally in no way comparable to ‘what women wear’ being used as an excuse for rape. The very fact you brought that up shows to me that you’re a misogynist. What the women wear and being raped are two isolated factors - but rape culture combines them. Rape play and rape are the same - but in BDSM there is consent. 

We never said that you’re raping your partner in rape play, we say that rape is not sexy. It shouldn’t be used, even with consent, to turn anyone on. It should be an atrocity to think about, not something you want to go test out on your girlfriend. It is disgusting. People’s lives are literally ruined from rape, and I don’t see how you can argue that people who engage in rape play really appreciate the severity of rape and it’s consequences when they are pretending to rape each other. If we don’t say rape jokes because it’s not something to joke about, why does re-enacting it for sexual gratification make sense to you?

Stop making excuses for potential rapists. If you can desensitise yourself from rape enough, and have the feelings to actually want to ‘pretend’ rape someone - then you are the biggest cadidate to be an actual rapist. How does this not make any sense to you?

- Ash