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Rumor has it... (x-post from /r/tumblr) (i.imgur.com)

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[–]DuapDuapIf no one knows it's not unhygienic 67ポイント68ポイント  (0子コメント)

A guy at my old school started telling people he had fingered a girl in another class. She simply said that he couldn't get her off. The teasing made the guy eventually retract his story. (Though he was still adamant that they had made out.)

[–]pandorarosie 188ポイント189ポイント  (0子コメント)

I told my little cousin to do this to her ex-boyfriend, because he was spreading rumors. She told everyone when he came he cried out 'Mommy' and then started sobbing uncontrollably...and then sucked his thumb to self-soothe. I have no pity for people who set themselves up for this.

[–]CheckYesJewlietSunny with a a very dark side 201ポイント202ポイント  (48子コメント)

So my first boyfriend broke up with me and proceeded to tell everyone I sucked a giving head. I guess I sucked in that I had never even done it. So when my guy friends started to tease me I proceeded to tell everyone how tiny his dick was. Not like I knew but it felt justified.

[–]Black_Orchid13Suck your own tit! 28ポイント29ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is hilarious. Either he can let everyone believe he has a small dick or he could admit that he was lying and you didn't see it. (Im assuming by the "not like I knew"?)

[–]tiexano 74ポイント75ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is evil. I like it.

[–]creedbrattonage30 54ポイント55ポイント  (0子コメント)

'Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy' oh my goodness I'm crying :')

[–]staticbobbleheadIf I had a uterus, it'd be called a duderus. 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or you could fake your death and haunt them

[–]krakdaddy 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think this is the only appropriate response.

[–]draw_it_nowHas a ticklish Y chromosome 27ポイント28ポイント  (2子コメント)

Srsly tho, please don't tell people about Daisy...

[–]MyLittleTarget 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

http://imgur.com/gallery/YkfaAfV

[–]draw_it_nowHas a ticklish Y chromosome 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Those are the exact looks me and my girlfriend give each other when I dress up...

[–]mand0calrissian 104ポイント105ポイント  (11子コメント)

Eh. I get the joke and all, but I'd rather speak the truth about myself than lies about somebody else. Also making fun of someone else's sexuality, and kink-shaming or body-shaming men, isn't my bag.

[–]terpichor[S] 92ポイント93ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'm definitely with you, and I'd assume almost all of us here are pretty against any sort of shaming. I'd hope somebody bragging about who they banged (especially if they're lying about it) is enough of an indicator for all decent people that said person is a huge dickbag and not worth being around.

I think showing this to somebody who doesn't get why lying about stuff like that is a big deal/bad might help them see that it is, since flipping it around on the guy is equally bad, if that makes sense

[–]tgivingleftover 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'd assume almost all of us here are pretty against any sort of shaming.

The top comment in this thread is body shaming.

[–]Anti-DolphinLobbyAlso a hugs advocate 29ポイント30ポイント  (2子コメント)

I was going to say something like "She doesn't actually know what his dick looks like, and if other people choose to take 'small dick' as an insult and make fun of him that's them doing the body-shaming" and then I stepped back and realized that that was a huge cop-out and a really stupid excuse.

I wanted to agree with the top comment because vengeance is satisfying but you're right. Spreading rumors for the purpose of convincing other people to body-shame and make fun of someone is a shitty thing to do. It's shitty whether you're saying a girl is promiscuous or you're saying a guy has a small dick, and it's shitty whether the person has pissed you off or not. An eye for an eye makes the world go blind etc.

[–]falafelwaffles_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree it's definitely not a nice thing to do and generally agree re: an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, however in this particular instance...

Sometimes people just have to learn the hard way, and sometimes that means taking what you're dishing out. If it stops even one dbag from doing that to other people, then the good outweighs the bad.

[–]DetPepperMD 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

It'd be his shame not yours. If he feels he can share lies about you then he should be able to take his own medicine.

[–]dripdroponmytiptop 29ポイント30ポイント  (0子コメント)

and he can absolutely clear the air by simply admitting that he lied and you have no clue what it's like. The onus is solely on him, at any time, to admit. It's all up to him at that point :D

[–]Mr_Quackums 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

yes, body shaming is an attack on someone. However, there are a few times when attacking someone in this way is the justified and correct response. this is one of those times IMO.

EDIT: I have a bad habbit of replying to posts after only skimming them.

making fun of someone else's sexuality, and kink-shaming [is bad].

I do agree with that part %100.

[–]Rev_Up_Those_Reposts 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Another thing is that, even though the tumblr post provides it as a given that the guy is starting the rumor, it's often other people who start rumors like this while they're speculating about the nature of the relationship between the guy and girl. It might seem like the guy is simply bragging about having sex with a girl, but the rumor may very well have not originated with him.

[–]jrl2014 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sure, but in that case you don't need to get revenge and the guy could still prevent the girl from being slut-shamed by being honest.

[–]SpermJackalope 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I mean, if someone's trying to shame my sexuality, I have no qualms about turning that back around on them.

[–]cam94509 42ポイント43ポイント  (57子コメント)

As a trans person, the whole joke about "Daisy" leaves a really bitter taste in my mouth. It feels like being made into a joke.

Edit: I guess I misjudged this space. I thought it was a reasonably nice place to be openly trans. Guess I was wrong. I don't feel that saying that these kinds of jokes leave a bitter taste in my mouth should get me told to "calm my tits."

Edit2: I really wasn't expecting an apology. I'm super not sure how to feel here.

[–]Anti-DolphinLobbyAlso a hugs advocate 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I agree. If you really feel the need to spread rumors like this, you could just say something like "He's terrible at sex". No body shaming, no kink shaming, no gender shaming, just saying that he is not good at the skill he's bragging about. I still would never spread rumors about someone (eye for an eye etc) but that would at least be proportional.

[–]takesometimetodaysexual orientation-fictional characters 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

I didn't even see it that way. I imagined a 18 year old boy dressed up as an old lady. Like curly grey hair and stuff

[–]Champion_of_CharmsBoss Witch 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I see someone else's mind went to Driving Miss Daisy.

[–]takesometimetodaysexual orientation-fictional characters 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It really did.

[–]AppleSpicer 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

Sorry hon, :( It absolutely is transphobic and cis-sexist and I hate that the response you've received is to "cis-plain" how it isn't. We gals hate being man-splained, can we please please not do it to others?

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 27ポイント28ポイント  (42子コメント)

*Edit: I'm an asshole I'm sorry. I'm going to leave the comment up for context, but I'm a douchenozzle for saying it, as I clearly misjudged the situation and shot my mouth off. I was in the wrong here, and I apologize for making anyone feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.

It's retaliation by emasculating someone who obviously takes pride in their status as a cis male. It wouldn't be funny if he were genuinely trans. It's not making fun of or joking about transgendered individuals, it's instigating ire in someone who likely doesn't want to be considered that way. I can not like the idea of people thinking I'm trans despite fully supporting trans people.

Calm your tits, whatever gender they are. Not every joke about someone's gender is institutionalized shitlording trying to oppress your toucans.

[–]FogHeadJohn 5ポイント6ポイント  (3子コメント)

... Toucans???

[–]DorianC0C0C0What would Sir Patrick Stewart do? 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

oppress your toucans

You know how people say "I just can't even" ?

From that, we get the idea that whether one "can" or not is critical. The next leap is the infinitive form of the verb - "to can"... and then we go to personify it: as a toucan.

So a "toucan" is the personification of the idea of whether or not someone can or "just can't even."

It's reductive and dismissive, but with a touch of whimsy.

I need to spend less time online.

[–]ineffable_mystery 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It pleases me when I see TiA leaking

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

A play on the increasingly common phrase "I can't even! I have lost my ability to can!". Sounds like toucan.

[–]AppleSpicer 16ポイント17ポイント  (16子コメント)

Why is it funny? Because it's humiliating? How is it humiliating? Because it's cis-sexist?

Instead of jumping on a trans person who's saying something is transphobic ask them why and recognize that they're the resident expert in transphobia because, surprise surprise, they deal with it more than us cis folk. Most of us don't put up with dudes who try to shut us down by telling us something isn't sexist so don't do that to trans people either.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 2ポイント3ポイント  (15子コメント)

Why is it funny?

It's not humiliating. Nobody ever said that humiliation has anything to do with it.

It's funny because the majority of modern society has largely distinct definitions of masculine and feminine, and when someone or something traditionally considered firmly in one camp crosses over and becomes the other, it can create a somewhat humorous shock effect, not quite like absurdity, but more along the lines of "campy".

It's not at all cis-sexist. It's more like imagining a dog meowing. "Huh, that's odd, dogs don't usually meow! What an odd thing to bear witness to!" I'm not humiliating the dog by giggling at it, am I? Or does that make me speciest because the dog can opt to be whatever animal it chooses to, and my giggling at its meowing is species shaming it?

I'm certain many transgendered individuals face plenty of discrimination, and have plenty of firsthand experience to share in the field. My friend Chris (formerly Eric) had plenty of issues in our good old conservative midwestern town during her slow but steady transition. I have seen how difficult it can be.

It does not however invalidate my opinion that I think this mentality is injecting transphobia where there is none. I am not required by any stretch of the imagination to simply accept someone else's definition of transphobia simply because I am not trans. I have a pretty functional sense of perception and judgment, and I'm always willing to discuss the issue, but my opinion stands.

[–]PolyneophiteNarwals aren't a real animal. 4ポイント5ポイント  (14子コメント)

It's not at all cis-sexist.

How about asking the trans people if it is instead of deciding if it is? You didn't phrase this as being open to discussion, you phrased it as them being wrong.

Calm your tits, whatever gender they are.

Cannot believe that this was up voted.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 0ポイント1ポイント  (13子コメント)

I am not required to be transgendered to develop an opinion on the matter, any more than I have to be gay to have judgment on whether something is homophobic or be black to have an opinion on whether something is racist.

I don't know where you or anyone else picked up the notion that you have to somehow be a member of a group to use your judgment and decide if an activity is oppressive towards that group, but you're wrong.

[–]JosieAndThePuddyTats 3ポイント4ポイント  (7子コメント)

If you were using the same arguments to defend why spreading rumors that someone is gay as a form of retribution is not offensive to gays, people would be jumping your shit right now. It's the same concept.

You don't have to be of a particular minority to understand the dynamics of how these things work, but if I tell you that, as a [fill in the blank] something has offended me, you should probably try to figure out why I feel that way instead of fervently defending your own point of view.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts -4ポイント-3ポイント  (6子コメント)

It's not the same concept. Lumping trans people in as "essentially the same thing" as homosexuality is dishonest to both groups. Each has a very different set of challenges and obstacles, and the situation WOULD be different.

There is a difference between someone saying "Chad likes to wear ladies undies" and "Chad is a dirty transexual, let's bully him until he kills himself!" I see a difference in the two. One is getting a laugh out of the thought of the traditionally masculine individual Chad in a feminine position, which I don't feel is malicious. The other is discrimination against individuals struggling with gender identity, and absolutely is.

I'm absolutely trying to see it that way. I would love to see a compelling argument of why this is harmful or malicious towards trans people, rather than just going on faith that it is because someone said they were trans on the internet.

[–]SpermJackalope 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

Your gender essentialism in it itself malicious, actually. This is how boys get bullied out of pursuing things they actually care bout because those are "too feminine". Like gardening, or becoming a teacher, or whatever.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts -3ポイント-2ポイント  (3子コメント)

You may disagree with my take on the matter, but recognizing that people tend to sit on one side or the other of the gender spectrum isn't exactly absurd. I'm definitely not in the "men should be men!" camp, and I definitely don't mean to imply that opinion by what I've said.

I just mean that seeing something traditionally viewed as masculine suddenly appear feminine can be shocking to some people, and even somewhat humorous. no malice intended.

[–]JosieAndThePuddyTats 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's the idea that it's somehow amusing that makes it offensive. That's the very stereotype being fought against. It's"funny" because it's meant as an insult. How is that not offensive?

Edit: also, I'd like to add that you completely misrepresented what I was saying to begin with. I never even compared gays to transgender. I simply stated that telling a minority that something isn't offensive to them is absurd. Just because you don't think the spirit of the joke malicious doesn't mean it doesn't have trans-phobic roots. And it is intellectually dishonest to say that this joke isn't passively making fun of men who prefer to wear women's clothing. It's perpetuating a stereotype that is definitely harmful, and it is a shame that you can't see that.

[–]PolyneophiteNarwals aren't a real animal. 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

You don't have to be a member of a group to decide if something is oppressive towards them, but neither do you get to decide for another individual, or a group of individuals that you are not a member of, if something is hurtful.

"Having a trans friend" and claiming it as authority as you did is no different then someone saying "I have a black friend, so its okay that I think this" and makes me incredibly skeptical of anything you have to say on this topic.

Someone who is trans said that they found a portion of this hurtful and oppressive. Instead of talking about it you explained to them how they were wrong. Think about it.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

I intentionally avoided using my trans friend as a "defense" of my position, but rather just noted that I am not completely blind to the issue, and accusing me of being one of those people is unacceptable. I simply meant that I'm not a person that has never witnessed the discrimination that trans people face, not that "having a trans friend" somehow makes me immune to being transphobic or whatever you're trying to accuse me of.

I explained to them why I felt they were wrong, yes. That's called a "disagreement". People have them regularly, and I'm sorry if my language was a little strong because I felt the accusation here was a bit dramatic for the situation. I then proceeded to discuss my opinion with anyone that replied to me, including you, despite silly comments like "why is this even upvoted".

[–]PolyneophiteNarwals aren't a real animal. 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

I intentionally avoided using my trans friend as a "defense" of my position,

No, you didn't. The entire point of that inclusion was a "claim to experience" so that you could tell a trans person that their views on how they feel about something were wrong. They said the words left a bad taste in their mouth, thats a personal feeling to something. You then proceeded to say that they were wrong and you know they are wrong because you have a trans friend. Thats BS.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

No, I never said that, and you're intentionally putting words in my mouth in a poor attempt to personally discredit me. My only "claim to experience" is as a bystander, but saying that being witness to the harm is utterly irrelevant is wrong. I did NOT use that as leverage to say "You are wrong, I have a trans friend, so I know better!"

If I was unclear then, let me be clear now: I absolutely do NOT view the fact that I have a trans friend as some sort of defense or leverage or trump card of any kind to convince anyone else that they are wrong.

If I am telling someone that I think they are wrong, its because my combined experience as a human being has allowed me to develop an opinion on the matter. When I say "I think you're blowing this out of proportion, here's why..." it is not "because I have a trans friend." It's because that's MY personal feeling, and I've taken plenty of opportunity to explain where I'm coming from. My ONLY point in stating that is "This is my personal experience regarding transgendered individuals; I have seen hate occur firsthand." That is it. That's all. It was a personal bit of information to help people get a better understanding of my background and the position I'm coming from.

Or am I not allowed to share that?

[–]Subclavian 17ポイント18ポイント  (3子コメント)

You blew your response way out of proportion compared to the actual post. Its like you are defending your religion.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 7ポイント8ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ah, okay. I need some sort of sliding scale that tells me just how much I should be defending my viewpoint. This happens pretty frequently. I'm guessing this was more of a "half ass defend your position" rather than a "fervently defend your opinion" situation? I never know which is which.

[–]SpermJackalope 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

And yet you feel a need to tell other people to calm their tits?

[–]Anti-DolphinLobbyAlso a hugs advocate 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

I see what you're saying, but imagine if instead of trans the insult was "gay". What if a boy was spreading rumors about a girl, and in response she told all of his friends that he was gay with the intent to make them start teasing him. Does it really matter whether or not the girl believes that being gay is a bad thing? She's encouraging other people to use it as shorthand for somebody being fucked up. She's using it as "retaliation because he obviously takes pride in his status as a cis heterosexual male", but that doesn't excuse calling him "faggot". The gay kids in the school can't read her mind and discover that she supports them, they can only hear everyone else using gay as an insult because of what she did.

So, a boy spreads a rumor that a girl had sex with him, and the girl spreads a rumor that the boy wants to be called Daisy in bed. At the end of the day, a trans kid sitting a few lunch tables over doesn't know whether that girl is okay with trans people or not. She just knows that now everybody's talking about how Brad wants to be called Daisy in bed and how disgusting that is, and when she goes home and changes into female clothes to feel comfortable, she's going to hear those voices and opinions and feel a little worse about herself.

[–]Simplerdayz -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a difference between straight up being called gay and outing an emasculating kink. Laughing at someone for cross dressing doesn't make it trans bashing just because cross dressing is a hobby associated with transgender. This is like a emo being offended because someone is mocking a goth's heavy eyeliner just because they also wear heavy eyeliner and assume the person is targeting emos or anyone with heavy eyeliner. No, it's about the individual.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

See, this has a few far-reaching assumptions, but I can certainly see where you're coming from.

she's encouraging other people to use it as shorthand for somebody being fucked up

Here's where we disagree. I don't think the intent or the end result here is to generate some sort of actual bullying based on the idea that "Chad" as we'll call him, is transgender. I think she's likely trying to create a situation that leads to some mostly good-natured ribbing. High school kids can often be mean, as I'm sure we all remember, but the scenario your painting is one where the student body suddenly becomes a mob of transphobic hatemongers that somehow went from poking fun at a guy for a very likely untrue rumor to making a random bystander feel like shit about their gender because because people find the image of Chad the masculine dude in traditionally feminine attire and position to be somewhat humorous.

I just want to reiterate; I'm absolutely opposed to the bullying or ridicule or shaming of transgendered people. I just think this is injecting hate or harm where there is none. It seems to me like occasionally victimization is sought out in places it doesn't exist, and I think it's ridiculous to pin every individual that makes a joke regarding gender as a shitlord in disguise.

[–]Anti-DolphinLobbyAlso a hugs advocate 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Again, I do understand why you feel the way you do, but I think we must have had very different experiences.

When I was in High School, (which was from 7 years ago to 3 years ago, so not exactly the distant past) gay-bashing was serious business. When I decided I was bisexual, the guidance counselor literally told me not to come out because she was afraid of what would happen. She told me that nobody would understand, I'd just be getting myself hurt, and to wait until college. I know every school isn't the same, but my first instinct when I see someone teasing someone else is that it's bullying, because I saw a lot more of that than I did of gentle ribbing.

I guess it probably depends on where you live. There are places where spreading that Daisy rumor would be laughed off and cause no harm, and there are places where it would get someone actually beaten. I have more experience with the second kind of place, so that's what I tend to assume without any more context to go on.

[–]PolyneophiteNarwals aren't a real animal. 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

What the hell is this and why is it up voted?

[–]cam94509 4ポイント5ポイント  (8子コメント)

Calm your tits, whatever gender they are

I was pretty calm, just disappointed.

I'm a little more disappointed now.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 2ポイント3ポイント  (7子コメント)

Look, I'm sorry if this has lead to disappointment on your end. Your comment just came off as unduly hostile where there wasn't any hostility. Clearly I misjudged.

I'm sorry. I'll say it publically, and personally. I was wrong. And I'm sorry if you feel like somehow this isn't a safe space for you to be openly *transgender. Please don't put that on other people n this community. That was MY doing. There are people coming out of the woodworks to defend you. And they're absolutely right to.

[–]cam94509 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Eh, you're forgiven. Please try to listen more and get mad less when folks talk about how things make them feel in future, though.

I actually try to keep a reasonable judge of "how hostile should I be", and I decided this was a "talk about your feelings thread."

It doesn't help that I literally have a good friend who is also trans who goes by daisy.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can see why that would especially hit home. I actually have a long history of completely missing the mark on "how hostile should I be". As I've put it jokingly before, I tend to go Malcolm X even though I know Dr King is the more reasonable, rational, and impactful way of doing things. Sure enough, I've proven it again.

Thanks for being understanding. There's a lot of people who wouldn't be willing to forgive an argument like this, and it's big of you to do so.

[–]magic_luver101[🍰] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Just an FYI it should be transgender not transgendered. Transgendered is generally not the word the Trans* community uses for themselves.

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm sorry if it offended anybody. Consider me educated. All appropriate persons hitherto shall be distinctly transgender in present tense.

[–]magic_luver101[🍰] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That one's not going to offend anyone it just reads/ sounds odd.

[–]SpermJackalope 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

holy fuck do you even register how condescending you are?

[–]Mast3r0fPip3ts 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

... what about that is condescending? I'm genuinely apologizing here.

[–]Glass_Underfoot 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

Holy defensiveness. The "SJW" meme-spew you drop for no reason makes you look like you're trying to start a fight by throwing yourself on the ground at /u/cam94509's feet. It's embarrassing. And really, "I'm not laughing at someone because they are trans, I'm laughing at someone because I approve of the humiliation of trans people when it's being directed at an asshole" is terrible reasoning.It's like prison rape jokes, or asking a guy if he's "on the rag". You're still endorsing something messed up.

[–]VerticalSmileyCyrus 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mean girls vs. Trans girls - let's get ready to rumblllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle~!

[–]LENIN-WAS-A-MUSHROOM 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks for bringing this up, it was tired and just unnecessary

[–]randy_buttcheese 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm sorry you feel unwelcome here, to me as someone who is not trans, this stuff tends to just go over my head, you see jokes in the movies all the time but when I imagine how it would feel being in that position, it is really hurtful and I realize it makes trans come off as 'creepy' or 'weird' when people use it like a joke like that. Thank you for giving me a little understanding and insight, I am always trying to broaden my views more.

[–]Subclavian 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hope you feel ok, the whole sub pretty much ran to your defense. We like you, there's no restriction or requirements to be a woman.

[–]SpermJackalope 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

I understand where you're coming from, but I interpreted it more as a sissification kink - which happens to be a thing that leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I am totally down to rag on.

I'm sorry someone's being a doucher to you.

[–]melancholymelanie 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

If something leaves a bad taste in your mouth, why is that a good reason to rag on someone for it? Do you know why it leaves a bad taste in your mouth? I mean, say it is a sissification kink. What's wrong with that? It's something entirely harmless that happens between consensual adults, it doesn't affect you at all. Why does it upset you?

[–]SpermJackalope 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's not harmless. It's based on misogyny.

[–]melancholymelanie 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, so is being squicked out by male crossdressers. Just in one case, you're ragging on someone who's made vulnerable by a kink society isn't cool with, and in the other case you're processing a cultural taboo by sexualizing it.

I mean, rape is one of the worst things one human can do to another. Rape kinks, on the other hand, are a way our brains have found to help us process that fear by eroticising it. Slavery? Also pretty awful. M/s relationships? Nothing wrong with that. Tying someone up and caning them? Not really a nice thing to do. Tying someone up and caning them because you both find it hot? Sounds like a tuesday night to me.

Kink is a tool we have to process our fears. It's like a conversation. In this case, it's a conversation about fucked up gender roles.

[–]melancholymelanie 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yup. The rest of the comments were kind of gross and kink-shaming, but that one was a real doozy. It manages to be transphobic, kink-shaming, and a little bit misogynist all in one. (misogynist because the sentiment there is that the worst thing you could say about a guy is that he's girly. That shows a pretty negative view of femininity.)

Seriously, if someone is spreading rumors like that and you want revenge, just say they were selfish in bed or something.

[–]ItsDieselTime 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

How about everyone grew up and stopped being 16?

[–]ImOldGreggggggwants to be Avatar Korra 129ポイント130ポイント  (2子コメント)

Pretty sure this advice is for 16 year olds. Seriously, people in the adult world don't typically spread false rumors about who they've slept with.

... or at least I hope not.

[–]spadfie 32ポイント33ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sadly, not all adults are that evolved. I had a 32 year old (at the time about 10 years my senior) tell everyone we worked with that I had sex with him at a company party. It's a very teenager thing to do, but some people never stop being teenagers.

[–]F_S_RocksChocolate and Coffee are my crack and cocaine 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

You and I must be living around different kinds of adults. In which case can I have your life?

[–]batter159 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

He could say the same lies about you

[–]Azure_phantom 39ポイント40ポイント  (0子コメント)

He already has if he's lying about sleeping with you. But he probably hasn't thought it out that you could also lie about him. He's probably banking that wanting to not be seen as someone who's slept with him will take precedence so you'll go into deny mode.

[–]BaadKitteh 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Not only what azure_phantom said, but if he says bad things about her it only makes him look bad, like "why did you have sex with her then?"

[–]batter159 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I dont really see the difference, shouldn't this work the same way for her? like: "why did you have sex with him then ?"

Also, that doesn't seem like a valid question to me (how could he or she know sex details before having sex together ?)

[–]Anti-DolphinLobbyAlso a hugs advocate 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I dont really see the difference, shouldn't this work the same way for her? like: "why did you have sex with him then ?"

It should, but I think the point is that the situation itself is based on outdated and hypocritical gender ideas--boys having sex is great, to the point where boys will lie to make people think they have more sex--and /u/BaadKitteh was suggesting you use those gender ideas against the person screwing you over--men are always the ones who have to convince women to open their legs, so if a man had sex with a woman it was deliberate but if a woman does it she let herself be talked into it. Therefore, if he says she's bad at sex, he's admitting that he couldn't convince anyone actually good at sex to sleep with him and had to settle for someone bad at it.

I'm not sure how well that would work in real work, but it's an interesting idea to consider on paper.

[–]fuadthecat 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Where was this advice when I was in high school.