#FHRITP: an open letter to bros

Yes, there's a difference between a prank and harassment
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Over the last couple of years, it’s become a trend for groups of men to shout “Fuck her right in the pussy!” into the microphone or toward the camera when broadcast reporters are out in the field. The joke’s caught on and #FHRITP is now a popular expression, hashtag and T-shirt slogan.
Bros (aka dude bros): incredibly insecure men. Key symptoms: overly jealous of their girlfriends, macho behaviours and laughably homophobic. Currently, there is no cure for being a dude bro.
Dear Bros,
Is “Fuck her right in the pussy!” merely an instructional tip for your pals?
I know. It isn’t about that, is it, bros? Targeting mostly female reporters, often in sports and yelling “Fuck her right in the pussy!” is harassment, a rape threat, a symptom of rape culture, immature, disgusting and, for the reporter trying to do her job in front of her colleagues, other normals and sometimes children, humiliating.
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Oh, what’s that bros? #FHRITP is just a harmless joke?
One of you Twitter bros, @tbuxbaum (account now defunct), summed up your side of the matter:
“@CityNews don’t turn a prank into something it’s not. AKA harassment.”
Well, Tim Buxbaum: a prank is something harmless, done among friends. Like, you know, when you and your high school besties would fall asleep at house parties and draw dicks on each other’s faces. Now, just imagine you ran around the city drawing dicks on your colleagues’ faces. That would qualify as harassment.
Prank: a practical joke or mischievous act.
Harassment: A form of discrimination. It involves any unwanted physical or verbal behaviour that offends or humiliates you.
And then there’s sexual harassment, bros. You know about it. That thing women should probably just learn to deal with because you think it’s funny. Shouting out “Fuck her right in the pussy” to a TV reporter’s audience is the actual definition of sexual harassment.
Sexual harassment: harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.
Many of you bros are claiming that this is a violation of your freedom of speech. @CurtisCunning, a hockey-playing bro whose Twitter feed is full of misogynist gems such as “grabbing your girl’s ass in public to claim your territory,” had this to say: “I’m glad that living in a country with Freedom of Speech, that I have to watch what I say. #FHRITP.”
Well, Curtis Cunning, freedom of speech doesn’t cover rape threats.
But, bros, here’s food for thought for your pea brains: You’re the only class of society that hasn’t been socialized to fear for their safety or brace themselves for regular bouts of discrimination. You feel entitled to your fun, and fuck anyone’s pussy who gets in your way. Your level of entitlement has overshadowed your human decency. Shame on your mothers and fathers. Shame on your teachers. Shame on our culture for catering to your bro needs.
Historically, men, mostly white, killed, stole and raped their way to power. They made all the rules. This kind of engrained supremacy takes generations to diffuse.
You, bro, are the last remnant of that species, desperately clinging onto an era of superiority. You live in the present day, so, officially men and women are equal. But you also live in present day 2015, so you see lots of examples of lingering misogyny. You get to watch shows like Mad Men and listen to your dad and the older bro generation, and you long for the good old days when you just had to exist. You’re coming to the realization that in 2015, you might not get by in life just for being a bro.
But how do you take back that power? By making other people feel smaller than you. By disguising a threat in a joke, and reminding us that you and your bros could very well rape us if you wanted to. It’s our fault for stepping on your bro-dominated sports turf, after all.
Empathy: the capacity to understand what another person is experiencing from within the other person's frame of reference.
Did you know that some jokes are only funny for you because you’ve never had to be scared?
Your “jokes” remind us of all the times people made “jokes” but were actually trying to legit rape us. And before you start bros, it’s not our fault for walking home alone at night or going to a packed concert or going to the bar with our friends or driving alone on a quiet country road. It’s not our fault for being around you, bros.
You bros who think we should be cool with you yelling about our pussies are the same ones who claim not to be homophobic, you just hate it when guys hit on you. First of all, bros, you’ve probably never been hit on by a gay person (in your dreams). But if you’re saying that unwanted sexual attention makes you uncomfortable, then… Eureka! You might have a chance at this empathy thing.
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Comments (29)

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Ridiculous

Yelling "FHRITP" into a live camera is a number of things. It's vulgar, disrespectful and disruptive.

One thing that it is simply NOT is a rape threat. Who exactly do you think is being threatened? Why do you think that the phrase "FHRITP" necessarily implies rape rather than consensual sex? Furthermore, anyone halfway familiar with "FHRITP" knows that the reason for using that particular phrase is because it's a meme, not because of the specific meaning of that phrase.

Is spite of the number of articles attempting to claim otherwise, yelling "FHRITP" into a live camera is simply a vulgar prank. That doesn't make it right, but let's not pretend this is something that it isn't.
DF 1 hour ago | reply
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Response to DF

Guessing you are a guy. Re-read the last couple of paragraphs. Go somewhere and ponder it until you understand.
KB 18 minutes ago | reply
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Response to KB

I'm not defending yelling "FHRITP". My issue is with the assertion that "FHRITP" is a rape threat. If you think I'm wrong, please explain why.

I also don't appreciate the condescension. Reasonable people can disagree and there's no reason to be nasty to each other just because we have a different view.
DF less than a minute ago | reply
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Bros being used

Arby has got to the crux of the matter. Harassment and misogyny is a bigger problem today than 20 years ago. Hate groups seem to be more prevalent. The internet is a breeding ground of anti-social ideologues. Cockroaches swarm to the web's dark corners to bask in a self-affirming circle jerk of hate bonding -- free from the scorn of free-thinking, critically minded humanists.

When they show their face in public we must take immediate action to say "no". Speech is free, but hate has a price. The only thing saving us from these evil creeps are everyday heroes (like Shauna) who bravely shine a light in the face of a mob of bullies. Big Evil happens when good people say and do nothing to stop Little Evil's growth and cancerous progression. I'm happy this trend was effectively ended in a Canadian city.

Perhaps I've become too cynical and paranoid, but I would not be surprised to find these shills of racism, sexism and reactionary populism to be on the payrolls of shady corporate lobbies and political parties. Machiavellian politics are alive and well - hate group discussion boards are full of advice on propagandist debate techniques, how to manipulate social media like twitter and reddit, and how to create false flags and sock puppets.

Is it strange that Stormfront neo-nazis (self-proclaimed "voice of the new, embattled white minority") have Tea Party rallys and GOP fundraisers on their social calendars? Disturbing or surprising that these shitheads actively recruit on reddit (a haven of young male outsiders) and provide members with instructions on how to capture the hearts and anger of a valuable hate group:commodity: young, angry, militant men. Coincidence that the back-door panderers to racists during the black POTUS era are now turning their recruiting efforts to Men's Right's Groups and RedPill/PUA culture when a woman POTUS is on the horizon?

If Goebbels could incite an entire country to commit genocide with posters, speeches and colouring books, could any jerk-off start a movement to harrass using the free, limitless and ubiquitous TV station and publisher in their pocket? The abundant hate drivel on the 'net seems a deliberate attempt to gaslight the public into thinking bad ideas that should have died to decency decades ago are acceptable, given the mobs of anonymous consent. A whole generation is being brainwashed into a hate cult right under the noses of the pure-hearted and naive (like myself).

Disillusioned youth, full of anger over lack of economic opportunities and corrupt governments are scapegoating the easy victims they see as responsible for their diminishing power and privilege: women and minorities.

The only way to deal with this scum is through free speech and critical thinking. We can't lose our freedoms or fall victim to hate because of fear. When you hear and see hate - Don't ignore it. Call it out - shame it for what it is. Bullies thrive in a vaccuum of fear & silence. Be brave - see & hear then speak to evil.
mellot7even 2 hours ago | reply
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NOW is a joke

This article takes the moral highground but wouldn't exist if it weren't for exploited and objectified women. See ads in the back of a NOW magazine for proof.
Ty 3 hours ago | reply
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Whoa!

Thanks for the letter, Julia.

On behalf of us grown up men with wives we respect and daughters we love, calling disrespectful behaviour unacceptable is clearly required. Googling the hashtag found your article, I appreciate the clearheaded treatise you wrote.

Children at any age, including 30 or 40 or 50 something, need to be clearly reminded that the higher ideals of respect and decency are choices they need to cognitively make.

I also note children need to be told the same thing many times, and sometimes suffer unpleasant consequences, before they truly learn a lesson.

Let's remember how to teach these boys to be men, and agree to improve our society for all its members from both sexes.
John Gellatly 3 hours ago | reply
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Maybe They're envious

Maybe those losers see other bros elsewhere really stepping up and it makes them feel inadequate. Lucky us (gals and normal guys with principles). See: https://youtu.be/L3-0LC-yCL8 and https://youtu.be/mlCRMxUDPPw and https://youtu.be/kzd4pytX7bg. What scares me is that our fascist leaders see this particular bro category as a group of gatekeepers who they can use. Gatekeepers are those with the 'right' political views. The right political views are not hard to determine. They are 'right' when they simply support the powerful. That's how it is within a mafia corporatocracy and within the mafia corporatocracy states, presided over, perversely, by law and order governments whose leaders are also creative in their use of language, calling their fascist rule 'democracy' and 'good for the people'.
Arby 10 hours ago | reply
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Grow up!

Time to evolve, 'bros'! I can't believe how many guys are on here defending these morons! Shows we still have a long way to go with house training the male of the species!
Catherine Bowerman 11 hours ago | reply
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Lol

Typical feminist comment
Meme 11 hours ago | reply
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Man Hater

"Historically, men, mostly white, killed, stole and raped their way to power. They made all the rules. This kind of engrained supremacy takes generations to diffuse."
So white men killed and raped their way to power?...i think we see a glimpse of the real chip on your shoulder.
Only a world class idiot could say something like that.
The country you live in was created by white men..if they were all rapists and killers maybe you should try moving to iran or saudi arabia..
When you are getting whipped for driving a car maybe you'll decide white men arent that bad after all.
Tony 12 hours ago | reply
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Really

Yes, white men mostly DID kill, steal and rape their way to power. Do you have any conception at all of the history of North America and what happened to the native populations of Canada and the United States? I wouldn't be so quick to call anybody a "world class idiot" until you have read a couple of history books.
Big Daddy 12 hours ago | reply
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We Don't Need Educated Roughnecks

We (elites and their political tools) don't need educated roughnecks. It might not hurt them. I mean, elites are educated (and therefore reprehensible). But it might. Let's stick to Playboy.
Arby 10 hours ago | reply
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Velo

Or maybe a world class idiot who read...oh I don't know...Ovid...whose classic work describes rape and fear as a route to power in ancient Rome... It's kinda a theme through ALL classic work. Go to college, then comment.
Velo 12 hours ago | reply
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Disillusioned

I can't believe people actually think like this. I really thought that this mentality was relegated to the deep, dark reaches of society. But the more stories like the one above happen, the more I see there are terrible, misogynistic, aggressive, ignorant men out there. It's sad.
Jamie 2 hours ago | reply
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WRONG

Wrong, explain why women also say it and why it gets said regardless of the sex of the reporter ... I have never read an op ed piece before where the writer knew so little about what they were going on about
Steve 14 hours ago | reply
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WRONG

Wrong, explain why women also say it and why it gets said regardless of the sex of the reporter ... I have never read an op ed piece before where the writer knew so little about what they were going on about
Steve 14 hours ago | reply
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Hate as respect bring to table for hoes

Their mother trained them to be dickless so their sexual urge comes out the wrong hole.
Beof 17 hours ago | reply
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Exaggerate much?

Quote came from guy who wanted to be funny. I agree what they are saying is rude and harassment but eluding to rape. Come on that's crazy. They are drunk idiots with poor judgement and no manners. But being torn limb from limb comment below. You are a psychopath. I don't believe this was a targeted act to a women. These idiots would have shown the same class to a man with a microphone.
Bob 18 hours ago | reply
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Really?!!!

'Fuck her in the pussy' doesn't 'elude' to rape?!! (I believe the word you're looking for is 'allude') Yes, they might have done the same to a man with a microphone, because they knew women might be watching! Don't try to imply that their words don't have any meaning! Their victims know what they mean!
Catherine Bowerman 11 hours ago | reply
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Ashley waltho

Clearly Ashley is the gf or wife of one of these idiots....lol...
Shannon 20 hours ago | reply
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