so I was in class and I felt my period starting. I asked the teacher if I could use the bathroom–keep in mind that this is no ordinary teacher. this is a teacher who will never, under no circumstance allow you to use the bathroom during her class. obviously, she said no. this was a very cute pair of underwear, and I just was not about to let them get ruined. so I did the unthinkable. I said the most crude sentence in the entirety of the english language. brace yourselves for this one kids.  “I just got my period”. the moment that horrible expletive had left my mouth, I knew there was no going back. a second passed, as my fellow students’ and teacher’s brains struggled to register the fact that I actually had said what I said. then it started. the screaming, the shrieking, and the horror. boys screaming EW EW EW and girls screaming WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF BOYS? and best of all, my female teacher’s look of utter horror; her apology to the innocent males in the class, now clearly scarred for life “I’m so sorry you had to hear that boys”. meanwhile I’m still bleeding, so I go the bathroom, put in a tampon, and come back to class. the uproar had not subsided. it was anarchy. and then, it hit me. I let out the secret. the secret of the vagina. prior to my big reveal, every cis male on the planet had thought the period was simply a myth. an old wives tale meant to scare young children. a spooky campfire story. the plot to a horror movie that nobody had the courage or a strong enough stomach to watch. but I confirmed it. I confirmed the existence and reality of their biggest fear.  no not bigfoot, not ghosts, not man eating insects. something far scarier. something in an entirely different realm of horror. the period. I let the secret out, and their lives will never be the same. they will never recover. their worldview is now twisted, dark, and full of fear. I have tainted the innocent mind of man. red like period blood itself, I am the devil.