Diary of a Squeaky Giraffe

The utter hypocrisy of people bent out of shape about “Cultural Appropriation”

Social Justice Wario wakes up. He has a warm bed, and doesn’t sleep in a tent, he lives in a house - all thanks to these evil cultures taking on the habit of using a permanent residence, as well as the design of a house.

He turns on the computer - powered by electricity, because the greedy culture with the people who discovered it and powered it decided not to keep it to themselves, and thought to share it with other cultures who loved the idea of harnessing electricity. He uses a computer - not only because a culture decided to adopt the use of a computer (seeing it more practical!) but also because it helps pay his bills. He uses an OS that was written by somebody else that was not his culture, and was put together by people of various different backgrounds, including translating it into various languages so that you didn’t -HAVE- to know the language the programmers spoke. He logs onto the internet and brings up his favourite website, Tumblr - He is able to do this because greedy white people didn’t hog the internet to themselves, and shared it with the rest of the world.

What is it he sees on Tumblr? He laughs at a picture of someone’s LEGO set - Made possible because other cultures that were not Danish liked the idea of the toys. But then he sees something terrible… a picture of white people practicing Tai Chi. The sight enrages him - WHITE PEOPLE. Practicing Tai CHI. They’re learning it! What… why didn’t anybody tell them that this is cultural appropriation. When they do Tai Chi… they disrespect the Chinese culture! What nerve!

It angers Social Justice Wario so much - he clicks on the reblog and adds a comment. He types on a keyboard - which was made possible due to multiple cultures taking the idea and applying it. He types a statistic of the chinese people who died over the years - He doesn’t type it using a different number system, he uses Arabic Numerals, which themselves even have Indian numerals all thanks to the various cultures who thought they were more practical and intuitive than the number system they use. He continues to type his angry tirade about those insensitive white people - Tai Chi will become FORGOTTEN all because of these wicked greedy white people who practice it. Suddenly, he receives a text message.

He picks up his phone, which is a Nokia model. It’s available in the market of his home region all thanks to the wicked people who thought to market a Finnish company’s product outside of Finland. He notices that he has received a text message from his friend who lives in another country. Thanks to the EVIL cultures taking another peoples’ language, they are able to speak the same language thanks to it being available to learn, and even taught in their schools. He gets back to the tirade after stopping to text him back - before suddenly remembering, he had to take his antibiotics. Thanks to a group of culturally insensitive scientists, marketers, and his politically incorrect government, a compound derived from a fungus is available in the area of the world he lives, so he won’t suffer long from his illness.

After he finishes posting his tirade, he reblogs another post full of GIFs from Studio Ghibli’s Howl’s Moving Castle.