Roosh V

How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend Without Getting Caught

Over the past year I’ve been much more open to getting into a relationship with a girl I like, but unfortunately I can’t tame the dog inside me that wants to fuck a new girl every other week. So my current game strategy is to get a girl-next-door type who isn’t a club rat and treats me well and then return the favor by taking her out, pleasuring her, and caring for her when she has the sniffles. During that time I lie and creep on the side with random girls.
Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend is morally wrong, but I do think it’s wrong to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation. But besides that I feel very little guilt when I cheat because my main girl will never know. I keep it locked down so tightly that it would take a lottery chance event to get me. The result is I get to fulfill my perverse needs while having something stable with a girl that I care for. That’s win-win… unless she finds out. Here’s what I do to make sure that doesn’t happen:
1. Get started on the right foot. Do not get into that pattern where you must talk on the phone every day. To accomplish this you’ll have to state that you need your “space” early in the relationship, that you don’t want it to get into that friendly boring zone where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch. She’ll honor your request but slip and send frequent text messages, which is fine—it’s easy to creep with another girl when all you gotta do is send texts.
Also, if you want to actually have the ability to cheat, you need time not only to meet other girls but to take them out on dates. This means you want to get into no more than a twice-a-week date pattern with your girl, one date on the weekday and one on the weekend. Resist her efforts to see you more by saying again you need space and are the loner type that feels smothered easily.
2. Don’t give her access to your phone or computer. This is how 90% of guys get caught cheating. They left their phone laying around, unlocked, and the girl finds incriminating text messages. It’s easy to brush off female numbers in your phone as old, but not a text message stamped yesterday where you confirmed fresh plans. Either delete the text messages manually before you see her or lock your keypad. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually, guaranteed. Girls are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history.
I’ve caught two girls messing around with my phone. Once I went to go wash my cock after sex and came back with my phone on the floor instead of the nightstand. I guess she panicked when she heard I was finished with washing my cock and threw it on the floor. The other time I spent the night at this Brazilian girl’s house and woke up in the morning with all my clothes gone. I walked around her place dazed and naked, wondering if I just got got, and found her sitting on the bathroom toilet going through all my shit.
For your computer, log off your email account when you know she’s coming over and then launch a different browser that you never use. While it would take time for her to sift through emails if you slip to the bathroom, girls go straight to the Sent folder to gather evidence. I’m certain that the female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things laying around. Also lock down anything else that could get you in trouble like Skype (call history) and the secret pick-up blog you operate.
3. Don’t create a lasting impression with her friends. While some guys will argue that a way to win a girl is through her friends, I only find that to be the case with very young girls around college age—once she’s in her mid-20’s she doesn’t seek as much approval from her friends as before. If you’re meeting her friends for the first time then show up in an outfit you never wear and also a slightly different hair or beard configuration. You don’t need to wear a disguise but appear a little differently.
The reason is that her friends are spies and when you’re creeping they may spot you and then immediately rat you out. By looking different and not making an impression, the goal here is they don’t recognize you when you’re creeping. It also offers a layer of plausible deniability because you can say that you were experimenting with a new look when you met them and they probably confused you for someone else. Furiously deny it was you that they witnessed making out with another girl. You have no other choice, not matter how obvious it was you. Be like the United States government where photo or video evidence is required to pursue torture charges.
4. Do not mix dating venues. You want to have two parallel sets of venues to minimize cross contamination. If you take your girlfriend to the same bar as your creep girls, a bartender or regular may accidentally out you, or tip her off while you’re in the bathroom. We all know those don’t-date-him girls who’s life mission it is to warn other women of cheating men.
5. Don’t frequent her regular spots. This doesn’t need to be said but there is an exception: when one of her spots is a place you can get laid like a champ.
In Rio there is a club where, as of this writing, I have a 33% bang rate. This means every three times I’ve went, I banged a girl. There’s no way I’m going to stop going to a place like that, but the success I had at this club could easily lead to my doom.
Here’s how I have avoided problems: I’d go without telling my girl and for the first hour I’d be diligent about scanning the room for her or her friends. As the night went on, and the chances of her coming was reduced, I’d ramp up my game and start touching girls and going for kisses. If I know my girl likes going to the place at 1am and it’s 2:30am and there’s no sign of her, I can get sloppy without any fear. Of course I always scan, a pretty paranoid way to mack, but that’s what it takes to not get caught cheating.
6. Pick a friend who will be your go-to excuse for why you can’t hang out with her. It’s best she has met the friend but I’ve invented guys as well. Be consistent and have him be the excuse whenever you didn’t want to hang with her. Examples:
“Friday I’m hanging out with Steve but how about Saturday?”
“Steve wants to go to Sushi on Tuesday night to talk about some girl problems so let’s do movie night on Wednesday.”
“Sorry I didn’t answer I actually hung out with Steve in this lame club and didn’t hear the phone ring.”
Never allow her to join you with Steve, explaining that he doesn’t like being the third wheel. Add that you need guy time to do some male bonding, to talk trash and just be men.
What’s going to happen is she will develop a deep hatred for Steve because she thinks he’s keeping you away from her. That’s not a bad thing because Steve will be the channel for her hate. Feel free to milk this by making it seem like Steve has an influence over you since he’s “cool” and “fun.” Many of my friends in D.C. would use me as their Steve and I can tell you that a dozen girls still hate my guts because of it.
7. Be mindful of when you blow your load. If your girl expects a gallon of cum on her face when you bang, and then this one time have a trickle because you just got done banging another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy sex episode, then allow that much time before banging a mistress and then your girl. This is why when it comes to the weekend I always try to put my girl on Friday. If I bang another girl on Friday then I will show up in her bedroom on Saturday already sated and she will pick up on it.
8. Try to bang your mistresses at their places. You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, unique perfume scent, or blood. Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to bang a mistress in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Flush used condoms down the toilet and put the wrappers deep in the kitchen trash can.
9. Construct and rehearse your alibi. Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. For example say you went out on a Thursday night after telling your girl you’d stay in. You met a girl in the club who bit the hell out of your neck in the heat of passion. You brought her home and she turned out to be a flooder. The sheets were destroyed.
Let’s focus on each aspect of the situation. If she asks why you didn’t answer the phone or call her back, say you wanted to stay in but Steve called and begged you to go out because he’s trying to get this girl that has an ugly friend. So for most of the night you had to talk to a fatty, but you wished you were with her instead. The club was so loud that you didn’t see the call and by the time you noticed it was too late to call back.
Second, the scratch on the back of your neck happened when you were in the kitchen. You left a cabinet door open and when you reached down to pick something up off the floor, you come back up right under it and caught your neck. Of course you will wear a collared shirt to cover it up and prevent her discovery, but if you never wear collared shirts around her then she will be even more suspicious if she catches the scratch. If you have a sister and can borrow her makeup this may also be a good play, or just go to the nearest department store’s cosmetic counter. I’m not joking.
Third, the sheets. In America you can do a wash and dry load quickly, but in countries without a dryer it has to hang for quite a while. If she insists on coming in during the late afternoon before it dries, say how mad you are at the maid for dicking around and always coming in on the wrong days.
You’ve closed the gaps. Otherwise it would be a very damaging situation. While subconsciously she will know something is going on and be moody and testy, consciously she will accept your airtight alibi and things can proceed as normal.
10. Don’t let guilt change your routine. After a successful creep you’ll probably feel guilty for cheating on such a nice girl. You’ll then feel compelled to make a surprise phone call, be more affectionate or loving, or even buy her something small like a chocolate truffle or rose. Resist this urge and proceed with your normal routine because girls can sense when you’re doing something out of the ordinary. She’ll know that you are trying to relieve your guilt, and while she may not automatically assume it’s from cheating, she’ll know you did something wrong.
When you get good at cheating, you also get good at identifying cheating along with the precursors of cheating, like when she meets another guy that she’s attracted to. In due time you’ll be able to piece together storylines. For example let’s take a look at this following hypothetical situation:
Friday: Your Brazilian girl texts you from a party, says there are “a lot of gringos.” Stays there late.
Saturday: You send her a text at 6pm but she waits three hours before replying that she was “sleeping.”
Following Friday: She says she’ll be busy Saturday, but doesn’t say with whom. Even though it’s easier to say “I’m going out with Stevie,” some girls have trouble lying.
Saturday night: She says she is free.
Likely Story: She met a gringo on the first Friday and he asked her to a coffee date or drink early Saturday evening. There he told her to keep the following Saturday free but eventually flaked on her. This means she’s actively looking for better. Either you step up and offer more of her core needs (without being needy about it of course), or you can say fuck it, get a couple more bangs, and move onto another girl.
Besides concrete evidence like a text message, email, or hair clip, your girl will never have 100% solid proof against you. By being an accomplished liar, avoiding sloppy moves, and covering holes that develop, it becomes very close to impossible for her to catch you. All this so you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it’s a good way for a man to live, but if your ass gets caught don’t blame me.
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        • Avatar
          Jason 5 years ago
          You're a talented writer and know a lot about game, so I usually agree with what you say. I can't here though. It might be different in foreign countries, but why don't you just date multiple people, with her knowing? I found that if you act like it's normal to see several people at once from the start, then she has no choice but to accept that if she wants to date you.
          I've tried cheating, and it's not the guilt that got to me. It's the stress. While girls might be aroused by the forbidden aspect of cheating, it just became stressful for me to hide everything. I spent so much time keeping my lies in order that I could of spend meeting other people.
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              Bravo 5 years ago
              She was in the bathroom toilet going through your shit? Ewww...
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                Krauser 5 years ago
                All good advice but I simply have a different frame, with simpler outcomes:
                I wait until I've banged her a few times, then subtly reveal that I go out and meet lots of girls. I also subtly let her think she is my only LTR and thus in a priveleged position.
                I also make it clear that nobody anywhere has any control over my life whatsoever.
                I'm still field testing this, but I suspect that so long as (i) you don't rub her nose in the creeping (ii) you project high value and (iii)she knows she will lose an ultimatum, then she'll go along with it.
                Working so far. Will amend it if it stops working.
                Krauser's last blog post: This is day game!.
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                    Anonymous 5 years ago
                    ive aready told my girlfriend of 9 months that i flirt with other girls often. its just the way i am. her answer was. i know you love me, so i know you wont do anything stupid. i would never get this answer from a american girl. i dont know if its normal for turkish women..but when she is jealous of other girls..sex gets more interesting..its like she knows to step her game up the date after im with another girl.
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                        Anonymous 5 years ago
                        This breaks my heart. I know you don't write for women so my opinion means little to you but you've just lost a reader. I typically follow your blog with interest, even though I often disagree with you, but this really just makes me sick. You hate on jaded women all the time. I'd suggest we were never this way until we were scorned by men who think just like you.
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                          The G Manifesto 5 years ago
                          This is a good one and a great accompanied piece to "How to Swoop Tons of Different Girls at the Same Time and Not Get Caught"
                          The easiest way to avoid this is to not have girlfriends.
                          - MPM
                          The G Manifesto's last blog post: Mardi Gras: The G Manifesto Way.
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                              Anonymous 5 years ago
                              Roo... is right i would never date a guy who wanted to date other people...
                              If i did it would be just because i'm bored and i would never let them touch me
                              They can beat it.
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                                  URF 5 years ago
                                  Roosh, Like Jason (commenter 1) said...you're a good writer, with a lot of insight and wisdom regarding Game. You've helped a lot of men and even women with Bang, helping guys to start approaching in the first place, and the women who want to be approached by these guys. You're passing on a skill-set and info that, for some reason isn't transmitted culturally anymore.
                                  That's why it's disappointing to see that you'd condone and promote cheating?? You're all about being an Alpha and a "real man" but that also means having character and self-restraint. Not just going for instant gratification and self indulgant behavior.
                                  If you want a relationship, have a relationship. If you want many partners do that. But what's the point of deception and hurtful behavior.
                                  You recently wrote a post about what's wrong with Amer. culture. Cheating, lying, and deception are a big part of our cultural decline. Great - Now you're contributing to that.
                                  This post is nihilistic, and the disturbing thing is you're definitely smart enough to know that.
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                                      Thursday 5 years ago
                                      Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend is morally wrong, but I do think it’s wrong to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation.
                                      Condoms only cut the herpes transmission rate by 50% and you can give it to her without having experienced any symptoms yourself. HPV is similar.
                                      Thursday's last blog post: The Types of Female Stomach.
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                                          Anonymous 5 years ago
                                          i wouldn't date a guy like roo either...
                                          Selfish, dishonest and too into himself.
                                          Funny that roooo and loser sound similar
                                          But i do like saying roo
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                                              Virgle Kent 5 years ago
                                              LOL @ the haters.
                                              Roosh you once wrote a post on haters and how to properly hate on you and I think someone read that and the same person is commenting.
                                              Dear Roosh I've been a fan and a loyal reader for the past 10 years, I went to middle school with you and once bought you a shot at the bar.
                                              After saying that, this post makes me sad and upset... blah blah blah I'm so disappointed in the man you've become.. you fucking hairy asshole.
                                              Anyway, nobody else sees the humor of this post coming after Valentine’s Day
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                                                Tampa 5 years ago
                                                I think there is a time in your life where you just come to the point that it's going to take a special girl to prevent you from banging other chicks. You just get so jaded and scorned that you almost become sociopathic.
                                                After years of seeing the crazy shit bitches do and how betas just get run over, you become this man of no heart. You see what this whole deal is. Bitches trying to lock you down for stability, kids and ego.....and guys just trying to get laid and find that one girl who strikes their emotional chord.
                                                Problem is, the more chicks you wax, the harder it is for a girl to play the emotional guitar that makes you want to settle down.
                                                Older the I get, the more I don't care. I think all women are cheating whores who would trade me up in a second for some professional athlete rich guy, so why not keep it real from the beginning?
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                                                  Evan 5 years ago
                                                  Unless you like wearing latex gloves and casually have a UV lamp with you when you creep on girls, this sounds like a time-consuming, stressful and LAME pasttime. smell tests of different zones? disposal of evidence? pushing your friend under the bus? wear a disguise? keep track of your loads? not FUN, which should be the point of picking up girls.
                                                  ps. is this post actually a joke?
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                                                      MARK > Evan a year ago
                                                      well done! my problems are gone My woman came back last night, i thought it's a joke she came to say good bye to me ,then i waited ,suddenly i saw preparing food,bed and hide under branket, i couldn't believe any thing i see, i decide to sleep at the gouge to see what happens next ,only see her come and slow her self on me start kissing and then i realize you are the true healer, its now 2 weeks since she came home ,but doc my sex life has gone down i don't know why , i want to come and order for that medicine. i will phone you later today! i appreciate your services, be there for us please. thanks you to obadamtemple@gmail.com
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                                                        Anonymous 5 years ago
                                                        I'd really love an age/race/location description from the guys protesting this post. I'm used to guys protesting loudly about stuff like this in public in order to put up a good guy image, but it shocks me even on an anonymous forum where they could speak freely that so many guys are so openly appalled by this post.
                                                        what are the ages, races and locations of these guys?
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                                                            Hamster 5 years ago
                                                            Is it some kind of money saving scheme not to have a couple of fresh changes of bedsheets around? Come on, don't be that cheap they're not that expensive. Especially not the jungle or bird themed ones...
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                                                                Anonymous 5 years ago
                                                                or maybe it's chicks posting as men for some reason to prove some weird point?
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                                                                  Anonymous 5 years ago
                                                                  i disagree with your comment that no quality girl would put up ith a person knowing they see other people. i might not have my game as tight as yours. but i know how to play my cards. the girl im seeing doesnt like that i might see another girl, but she seems needy enough to accept it
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                                                                      mr. pilkington 5 years ago
                                                                      Chicks dismiss the sheer amount of work it takes for a man to become good with woman. It is equitable with being a good door to door salesman. The sheer amount of rejection, dealing with inane conversationalist, dealing with cockblockers etc.
                                                                      Most women on the other hand, particularly American women don't care about learning a skill set to have a man DESIRE to remain faithful. Instead, they take the easy route and appeal on a sense of a man having a moral obligation to be faithful.
                                                                      American women want to be loved, but do not know how to be lovable. In the mean time, chicks should be a little less like Maureen Dowd and a little more like the chick in this song.
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                                                                          Tampa 5 years ago
                                                                          "A man is only as faithful as his options"
                                                                          -Chris Rock
                                                                          And it's no coincindence that women become more faithful as they get older. That's because they get uglier - it's not by choice.
                                                                          I want to see some guy look down a 23 yrd old knockout for more than 12 months. Aint happening bro. Too many dicks being thrown her way. My attitude is either play the game knowing how it's played or get run over; it's your choice.
                                                                          Most people who rage against cheating are people that can't really get laid when they want.
                                                                          If you think your average looking 150 lb brunette girlfriend wouldn't fuck Derick Jeter or some toned out surfer, I have some metro accessible real estate in Georgetown to sell you.
                                                                          It's played or be played people. Nice post Roosh.
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                                                                              Cinque Powell 5 years ago
                                                                              "For your computer, log off your email account when you know she’s coming over and then launch a different browser that you never use. While it would take time for her to sift through emails if you slip to the bathroom, girls go straight to the Sent folder to gather evidence. I’m certain that the female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things laying around."
                                                                              That's real talk. I once had a broad that acted like a damn Luddite when I first met her, but then I caught her sifting through my gmail chat logs once and later once I broke it off found out her ass was up on Skype and mad other apps.
                                                                              Cinque Powell's last blog post: Valentine's Day Game.
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                                                                                  Porkchop 5 years ago
                                                                                  If you live in the DC area I would think it would make sense to have multiple girls who live in different regions. For instance, have a girl in DC, Maryland and Northern Virginia. For the most part, you'll never have to worry about them coming over the border to catch you with another girl.
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                                                                                      Cliff Arroyo 5 years ago
                                                                                      This pretty much sums up what's wrong with game. It's all about pretending you're something that you're not. You're lying all the time. Only sociopaths can keep that up for long (and have _no_ cause to complain about being lied to themselves).
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                                                                                          phillipmarlow 5 years ago
                                                                                          It sounds like common sense, but it's insane how many guys don't do this right.
                                                                                          phillipmarlow's last blog post: John Stossel Lays It Down.
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                                                                                              UgSlayer 5 years ago
                                                                                              LOL@ the judgemental pricks and haters. Having a loyal girlfriend and creeping on the side is the best of both worlds. Don't knock it til you've tried it. Keep doing your thing, Roosh.
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                                                                                                  Basil Ransom 5 years ago
                                                                                                  Lock your phone and turn it off the moment you enter intimate settings.
                                                                                                  Do not let her use your computer. If you must, create a guest account and password protect your own. Avoid using hers.
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                                                                                                      URF 5 years ago
                                                                                                      Really? You're blocking as spam, comments that adhere to your comment rules?
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                                                                                                          Lika 5 years ago
                                                                                                          Great advice Roosh.
                                                                                                          And the good thing about Latin America is that there are security guys down the buildings, usually (although I'm not sure about your quasi-favella building :-). The best is to tip the guards sometimes and brief them to always say that you're not home to anyone that shows up when they know that you're already with a girl...
                                                                                                          When you don't have security and your girlfriend can come up knocking at your door unexpectedly, it is not good...
                                                                                                          It happened to me once in Europe after a one year relationship and I was in bed with a Brazilian model. It was a mess...
                                                                                                          Actually even if you have a guard who would call you to say that someone is here to see you, I don't know how you would deal with it since your girlfriend would already know that you're in the building...
                                                                                                          The only way is to never open the door when your girlfriend comes to your place unexpectedly, if you have a guard or an interphone (if you don't, you're screwed). The only way I can think about to justify it is to say that you are working "on a project" with a friend and you don't what to be bothered, in a somewhat angry way. But that will make you look like a fool to the girl you're with and it will piss your girlfriend off.
                                                                                                          Anyone has a better idea ?
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                                                                                                              The Rookie 5 years ago
                                                                                                              creeping. a great manly pastime
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                                                                                                                  . 5 years ago
                                                                                                                  Your thinking is too logical but women don't need logical strings of evidence to find you guilty. They already know what type of a guy is likely to cheat - selfish, too full of himself, etc.
                                                                                                                  Actually, I'm about to use some of this advice soon but definitely not going as far as the jizz count.
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                                                                                                                      Hammer 5 years ago
                                                                                                                      My solution for this problem of wanting to be in a relationship but also wanting random ass is to only date bisexual girls. Most girls (I'd say 80%) are at least bicurious and if you have game converting that into a threesome is pretty easy. Then it's just a question of managing the situation and making sure that she doesn't have jealousy issues.
                                                                                                                      Hammer's last blog post: Psychoanalysis Game.
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                                                                                                                          Ali C. 5 years ago
                                                                                                                          I'm willing to bet that although you don't value honesty or fidelity, you expect that your future girlfriend does, which makes you an amoral hypocrite.
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                                                                                                                              Anonymous 5 years ago
                                                                                                                              Hey Roosh, great post. But do you have any posts on jealousy? I'm having a hard time getting over a girl, we've broken up but the jealousy lingers
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                                                                                                                                Quasi 5 years ago
                                                                                                                                Love your comments Tampa..priceless, thats exactly how I feel it, the more I know about women the less I care about loyalty and honour or any moral concepts, which only seem to be one directional roads to getting dumped :)
                                                                                                                                Dont know if I would go for the LTR and girls on the side, guess there is still some part of my disney brainwash program keeping me from that. But I am not looking for a LTR anymore, think the best man-life is to be highvalue and eat of the woman buffet... lets face it if it wasnt for their pussy we probably never talk to them anyways.
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                                                                                                                                  Tyler 5 years ago
                                                                                                                                  Man, this is so true....and exactly what I do. And you even touched upon the subtle things like, not changing your attitude. Sometimes you feel a bit compelled to do something nice after you bang some slut in the ass....but I always think, "Would I normally do this?" probably not, so I don't.
                                                                                                                                  For anyone who hasn't cheated on their gf's but think they want to, here is something to note. You might feel guilty the first 3 girls, but by the time you hit 4, you don't anymore. And don't EVER underestimate where another girl's strand of hair could be hiding...CSI sweep is required, nothing less...
                                                                                                                                  Tyler's last blog post: Picking up girls while on dates.
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                                                                                                                                      Gunslingergregi 5 years ago
                                                                                                                                      The truth is so much easier to do.
                                                                                                                                      Plus woman always know when you cheat they can smell the sex.
                                                                                                                                      So really not fooling anyone and she will be looking for payback one day more than likely or be able to guilt trip you.
                                                                                                                                      If the truth be told there is no guilt for real and then you won't be as tempted to lie to yourself either.
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                                                                                                                                          pepini 5 years ago
                                                                                                                                          Having two phones is also an option. You can say one is for work calls (really for mistresses) and the other for personal life.
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                                                                                                                                            157233
                                                                                                                                            0%
                                                                                                                                            10%
                                                                                                                                            20%
                                                                                                                                            30%
                                                                                                                                            40%
                                                                                                                                            50%
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                                                                                                                                            70%
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