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Tried to initiate sexy time (i.imgur.com)

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[–]DastardlyDan 2140 ポイント2141 ポイント  (122子コメント)

You need to take your boyfriend back to the store...I think he is broken.

[–]dirtydave42 397 ポイント398 ポイント  (48子コメント)

Try turning it off and then on again :)

[–]DirtyPie 315 ポイント316 ポイント  (21子コメント)

I think the problem is that OP can't activate the "ON" function.

[–]Thomasedv 90 ポイント91 ポイント  (19子コメント)

OP hasn't found the ON "button" yet, if you know what I mean.

[–]EarthRester 167 ポイント168 ポイント  (16子コメント)

It's his penis.

[–]AuroraSinistra 124 ポイント125 ポイント  (10子コメント)

And here I was spending all my time licking his nipples! Thanks!

[–]GLaDOS_IS_MY_WAIFU 72 ポイント73 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Why were you licking OP's boyfriend's nipples?

[–]radministator 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Science. She was doing science.

[–]Ey3s 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The best kind of science ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ )

[–]soupz 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think we've found the reason why OP's boyfriend isn't interested in sleeping with her

[–]USxMARINE 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Home wrecker!

[–]DirtyPie 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

IT Support

[–]sportsterhd2005 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

She was just giving him some kisses!

[–]Magorkus 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well... that would definitely work for some of us.

[–]slipperyzig 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is this not supposed to work? <_<

[–]Littlewigum -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Have you tried a technical tap?

[–]ReasonablyBadass 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Prostate?

[–]anangryterrorist 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thats more of a lever than a button

[–]eyeliketosmokeandpoo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now kiss!

[–]Ichorous007 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, its his prostate.

[–]Snake101333 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You mean "lever"

[–]ZhuangZ2 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

probably a faulty psu

[–]SquareRoot4761 107 ポイント108 ポイント  (16子コメント)

Try putting him in a bag of rice.

[–]I_can_pun_anything 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Boyfriend with rice?

[–]Mocha_Bean 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you for your suggestion.

[–]YCYC -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Care to explain yourself?

[–]sliceof314159 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I think they are referring to the practice of placing wet electronics in a bowl of rice to dry them out and restore normal function, as OP's boyfriend is apparently broken.

[–]SJHillman 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The problem is that she's trying to expose him to more moist places...

[–]A1A5KA 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Brilliant

[–]DonOntario 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or maybe /u/SquareRoot4761 knows that OP and her boyfriend are Asian and was making a racist comment. /s

[–]YCYC -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Personnaly I'd check if he got the right fuel. I beer doesn't work then try wine, work up proof until he passes out.

[–]TaipanTacos 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I think you're drunk, but I'm not sure.

[–]YCYC 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not yet.

[–]Littlewigum 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Get some.

[–]ZoxinTV 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Some kind of wet phone analogy that isn't analogous with anything, I think.

[–]SexualAttackCopter 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

A hot asian will come and fix him, then eat the bowl of rice. Or something.

[–]YCYC -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

k

[–]puckout 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/fQO29Os.gifv

[–]mcdinkleberry 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How?

[–]notoriouslush 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Blow in him

[–]puppetry514 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (0子コメント)

blow him

[–]N7sniper 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If that doesn't work try cleaning him with a q-tip

[–]aesu 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Vomit on his cock, and then lick it off.

[–]marilmad 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Were you on efukt recently? That's like the latest added video.

[–]marilmad 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Except she doesn't lick it off (bummer), she gets handed paper towels and wipes it off in shame while the cameraman describes how orange her puke is, trying to guess what she had before coming on set. lol

[–]opticnerve 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

APPLY directly to the head.

[–]NiceFormBro 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

She did a good job of turning it off.

[–]Snake101333 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But once you turn it off it'll be a while before he can be turned on again

[–]Bromine21 427 ポイント428 ポイント  (12子コメント)

Maybe she got the wrong model, it happens.

[–]farmerwouldsay 605 ポイント606 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Gay model, non-refundable, but in-store bff credit is available.

[–]insomniacgnostic 198 ポイント199 ポイント  (7子コメント)

And fabulous.

[–]Kakkoister 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (1子コメント)

BFFF Best Fabulous Friend Forever

[–]elspaniard 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

S S S S S S S

[–]Jakethesnake98 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sometimes they come as Bi, interested some of the times. Just watch out when he "has bro time" other then that he should live a healthy lifespan.

[–]tapkap 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe he gave up boners for lent. Try again tomorrow.

[–]thehenkan 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But why male models?

[–]rubbing_lilies 93 ポイント94 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Trust me, when you don't get it a lot, those types of actions become odd and foreign.

[–]Pressondude 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I probably would have said that. But that's because I hear "no" a lot. And I generally only here "ok" not "yes". So yeah I'd wanna make sure I knew what was going on before I got excited.

[–]evboat 128 ポイント129 ポイント  (3子コメント)

In his defense a poorly done strip tease can be more hilarious than sexy. edit: why the fuck do I never proofread spelling?

[–]Lycist 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

if you edit something within a minute or two of posting it it doesn't get marked as having been edited. It's like a free do-over.

[–]evboat 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks. Didn't know that.

[–]ZenKeys88 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

When I was in high school, a girl I was dating asked me what my favorite song was. The answer I gave was an 11-minute prog rock song, which she attempted to do a strip tease to about a week later. Good effort love, but no thanks.

[–]theacidrainman 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (2子コメント)

No refunds or exchanges without receipt or proof of purchase and most people throw the receipt and box away. Maybe she could RMA him or use the warranty if she got it.

[–]eyeplaywithdirt 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Idk, if she got it from Wal-Mart and is really nice, they might give her store credit w/o receipt, as long as it's resellable.

[–]fweepa 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like how you went from "him" to "it".

[–]Aionar 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"We can do the exchange, because you are within the return policy guidelines, boy it appears that it is broken because of neglect and not because of defect. Please be more careful with the next one"

[–]ambassadortim 45 ポイント46 ポイント  (31子コメント)

Or maybe she not that hot

[–]marilmad 189 ポイント190 ポイント  (25子コメント)

Even if she's a 300+ pounds narwhal lookin' bitch, you still don't ask that. You're the one dating a 300+ pounds narwhal lookin' bitch in the first place. Deal with her efforts to make you feel manly and wanted.

[–]VoilaVoilaWashington 58 ポイント59 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Perdy much this.

If yer datin' an ugly woman, y'all better be fuckin' that ugly woman, or y'all won't be datin' her long.

[–]burbod01 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That sounds like a solid escape plan.

[–]radministator 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Especially then. She's trying hard to please her man. That stands by itself.

[–]marilmad 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Honestly, it depends on the tone.

He might have blurted it out sort of by surprise or if he felt himself blushing, cornered like a teen boy. Maybe he was even being playful like ''Heeyyy, why you getting naked? eyebrow wink

If it's said in a serious tone with slight disdain then it's just sort of cold..I definitely would have been humiliated.

[–]assi9001 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Then harpoon her!

[–]marilmad 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

With your peener.

[–]N7sniper 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Narwhal has been uploaded to my vocabulary.

[–]Caleth 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Maybe OP has a low sex drive and the Boyfriend doesn't get action a lot? Maybe she normally only has sex at night before bed, and this was the middle of the day. I know if my wife showed up to the door in high heels and silk undies when I got home I'd be confused as fuck.

There are a myriad of reasons he could have been thrown for a loop, most of them involve OP acting out of character.

[–]marilmad 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

http://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/31e4dj/tried_to_initiate_sexy_time/cq0y1qd

[–]Caleth 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

The world may never know. Unless perhaps OP recorded it for posterity so we can dissect his reaction and her technique.

[–]marilmad 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Exactly.

[–]Caleth 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is post to show that we both agree.

It has been created and approved by redundancy department of redundancy. All further agreements will be awarded the carbon copy star. Such posts must be submitted in sextuplet with individualized initials and signatures. With then need to be counter signed and initialized.

Thank you for your agreement and cooperation in this mater, thanks.

[–]marilmad 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Omg I won something! Thank you!

[–]Ickyfist -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't think it has anything to do with that. If your girlfriend doesn't really do this sort of thing often and she doesn't make it obvious that she is getting naked to strip tease and get you turned on then it is understandable that he wouldn't get it no matter what she looks like.

[–]marilmad 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

See my other comment concerning tone.

[–]MikeyJayRaymond 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe he wants to do it himself?

[–]awwwwyehmutherfurk 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or, more than likely, he probably whacked off like, just before she started doing this so now he's not in the mood.

[–]penisAlota 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is the worst.

[–]Lemurrific 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I might be broken, too, cuz random nakedness does nothing for me.