Official button push regret thread

Jambot- · 1 日前

Didn't realise YOPO, was beaten by the urge.

BonerDude · 1 日前

my favorite thing is that everyone is either non-presser or 59 seconds, no in betweeners

FluffySuperDuck · 1 日前

I pushed it and 6000 flashed...what does it mean? Was I one second off from discovering the mystery!?!?

AnAwesomeMiner · 1 日前

I was like "Hey, a button! Lets press it."

And then i was like "AW RLY I CAN ONLY PRESS ONCE?"

Seized7x · 1 日前

I pushed the button. Shortly after, parents texted me a picture of the new goat they just purchased.

The button dispenses goats.

charlienesh · 1 日前

http://i.imgur.com/fSV89.gif so sorry

greynol5 · 1 日前

I pushed it before I realized that it happens only once....

Ivmar · 1 日前

I feel like getting shot at the first second of a nine hour match of paintball.

Acid__Reflux · 1 日前

ITT:

Weak willed button pushing plebs. Enjoy your lifetime of regret, jerks.

mirrordog · 1 日前

It was everything I thought it would be.

igor_s · 1 日前

God, why didn't I read the rules first... What have I done...

dumboe · 1 日前

I didn't regret it. Until I saw the flair.

Llama_fo_yo_mama · 1 日前

I regret nothing

dawnroselyn · 1 日前

59 seconds. I didn't last long, did I?

joerlegacy · 1 日前

We messed up guys... :/

Sweet_Walrus · 1 日前

I thought I saw the counter about to say 58 and I wasn't about to let that happen...

oceanicairlines · 1 日前

My only regret is that I can't press it again.

Skelmi · 1 日前

I regret pushing the button.

D3r3k23 · 1 日前

I thought to myself, "I'll just press it once to try it." I didn't know you could only press it once :(

HeWhoPunchesFish · 1 日前

http://i.imgur.com/qojQSTE.jpg

whovianhaille · 1 日前

REGRET

Dengar · 1 日前

...Dad?

JIDFshill87951 · 1 日前

YOPO!

NobleHalcyon · 23 時間前

I once pressed the button...

...then I realized I only got one push...all of the smiling, hip Redditors cheerfully shouting "YOPO", living in the moment, saving their push for a special time. Not me. Salty tears of sadness rolled down my cheek as I drained the bottle.

Spiraling into a deep depression, I brought my anxieties and self-consciousness home to my wife. I was no longer the man she once loved. Seeing me, hopelessly despondent, she packed up our young son and left me.

I did my best to fix the problems...all the while suffering through my own demons...the button...why the button? Why couldn't I try once more? Just one do-over and I could do it right...

...my low point was this past September. In a guilty rage I reacted...err...disproportionately to my a simple question...

"Hello, NobleHalcyon, do you have those TPS reports I asked you about?"

"No, Gary, I don't."

"Okay, well I need them by end of day."

Unable to bear the weight of such responsibility, and remembering all I had left, I finally snapped. I left the office and went to the bar. Though it was only 11am, my local Chili's was more than happy to over-serve me. By 3pm I had returned, crying tears of shame and madness.

"HERE GARY. HERE'S YOUR GOD DAMNED TPS REPORT."

As I handed Gary the folded piece of paper I sat on his desk. Gary opened the paper and read where I had smeared "Fuck you, Gary, and the button too!" on the paper with Chili's Honey Chipotle Sauce^TM . Horrified, Gary looked up to see me shitting on his desk.

Escorted to the security shack by Dave, my once trusty friend, I realized the position I was now in. As the police hauled me off, I knew it was time for a change.

I went through twelve weeks of twelve-step. Rehab. Cold turkey. The hard struggle. I would dream of all I once held dear-my child, my wife, my job, our dog Fumbles, my button-virginity. All of it, now gone, along with my self-respect and dignity. I dreamed of a better time...before I had done it.

I realized now that I had to be a better man. I had to provide for my son, and guide him on what to do with his button-virginity. I was there to guide him, to teach him. A small portion of me realized I could live vicariously through his "Non-presser" status.

"You're a new man, NobleHalcyon."

"Thanks, Rene, time to go get my life back."

I stepped out of the cab and walked to my ex-wife's parent's house, carrying flowers and sincere apologies. I knew I could make things right. I was now the man she fell in love with again.

I rang the door bell, and a tiny boy answered. It was him-my son, in all of his press-less glory.

"Hey buddy, do you remember me?" I asked him.

"Dad, there's a weird stranger here..." he called back inside the house.

I watched, horrified as he ran away. My ex-wife appeared, along with Gary carrying my son.

"What are you doing here, NobleHalcyon?"

"I came to see my son...I came to make things right."

"He's not your son anymore. I'm with Gary now. He didn't..."

"He didn't what, FUCKING TINA?"

"HE DIDN'T PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON, OKAY?"

Shamefully, and full of sadness I left...once again to my place of safety. Retreating in my mind to a time...where I had not pressed the button.

MrDrumline · 1 日前

Tsk. Look at all of the 59s heathens here. Non-presser master race!

NikkoE82 · 1 日前

You know that joke where the guy walks past an insane asylum every day and hears people chanting a number that gets higher every day? Then finally he looks through a hole and gets poked in the eye and the number being chanted automatically goes up one?

I feel like that guy.

mrjuggiecz · 1 日前

Regret deeply.

like_2_watch · 1 日前

Proud Periwinkle non-button pusher

FergingtonVonAwesome · 1 日前

I HAVE NO RAGRETS fuckyou.jpg

Thanatos- · 1 日前

Regret :( Should have read the threads and understood what this was all about first. NOPE press it as soon as it loaded doomed to the 59s purple circle.

mocheesiest1234 · 1 日前

You are all scum. All 59'ers with no innocence anymore.

ambyrjayde · 1 日前

I immediately regretted that. I wanted more than one press.

indianajobes · 1 日前

I am shocked and saddened

tokol · 1 日前

Friend sent me a link.

"/r/thebutton", huh?

Go to page

See button

Press button

Press button again

Ooo, neat graphics

It's done. Button pressed. Felt good.

I'll press this button all day!

Looks literally any other place on the page.

Despair.

RobinOfReddit · 1 日前

How I felt after I pressed the button

samholmes · 23 時間前

I really regret pressing this button. I know this may not seem like it matters, and it may not matter to you whether I pressed the button, but it matters a great deal to me. On December 1st 2014, I pressed thebutton on reddit. It wasn't a large button, but then again it wasn't a small one either. All I could really tell you for sure is that it was a blue button, and now it's grey. If I said to you that I didn't enjoy pressing it, I would be lying. I did enjoy it; very much so. It gave me great pleasure, but now, that pleasure has dwindle like the erections in the arctic ocean. What's worse is that I'm not the only one. There are many else out there who share my story. And what's worse, there are those who can't stop; can't stop pressing thebutton; can't stop not pressing the button; and those that can't stop caring about whether or not this god forsaken button is being pressed or not pressed or whether people are caring about pressing or not pressing this button. I've learned a lot from these people. And more importantly, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that no two people are alike and that not all buttons are the same. And that maybe one day another button will come along, and one day someone will press it. One day there might now be anymore buttons, and thus no more pressing. Even worse, one day there might not be anyone to press the buttons or non-buttons that can or can't be pressed...That day might never come, or it may be just around the corner. So press on my fellow button pressers. Let this day stand as proof that we were here, and we pressed the button. And that my friends, ... isn't entirely true because some of us didn't press the button at all; which is also a good thing because it made it important or non-important that others pressed the button...which is a magical thing. It is a beautiful thing, no...It is a buttonful thing.

FuhrerMudflows · 1 日前

Ohhh the benefits of having a throwaway

xbrittykitty167 · 1 日前

See a button, press the button, instant gratification

SirPotato_III · 1 日前

My only regret is not being able to hit the button twice.

FredeFup · 1 日前

I just regret it. I feel useless now that i can't press the button anymore. Its like a big empty hole inside of me.

What good am i now?

windelf9182 · 1 日前

I REGRET NOTHING!

Splendidisme · 1 日前

Pressing the button was the lowest point of my life.

reubenbubu · 1 日前

you should all be ashamed of yourselves. have you got no self control?

DrGhostfire · 1 日前

Mistakes were made.

Kazuroka · 1 日前

No ragrets.

chudleycannon · 1 日前

It wasn't my fault. I was trained as a child to push the button.

Officer_Rabbit · 1 日前

You all have made a bad choice and you should feel bad.

Bergenheimen · 1 日前

Test

foramen_ovale · 1 日前

did i press it?

Mummys_Spaghetti · 1 日前

Damnit

thebutton

How to press the button

You can only press the button once

Only accounts created before 2015-04-01 can press the button

We can’t tell you what to do from here on out. The choice is yours.

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