You Don't Say: Duke University Ramps Up Its Language-Policing Campaign to Even More Ridiculous Heights

The brittle snowflakes behind Duke University’s “You Don’t Say” campaign are at it once again.

Point of inquiry, Ms. Hakeem: Do you not say “the n-word,” or “nigger”? (Or both?)

I loathe unnecessary ambiguities. Speak like a fucking adult, so we know exactly what you mean. Use your words — all of them.

This is SO gay.

#IDoSay

Okay, but that’s beside the point. Are any of them bitches?

“You all kick like a bunch of genderless children!”

Okay, now you’re starting to piss me off with all this silliness, you censorious little fucks.

Fine.

“Hey, you ladies are really looking fat today.”

You know what? Why don’t you just tell me the handful of words I can say? That’ll be much faster.

“Well, your shirt says it–

…Oh, wait, I’m sorry, that’s a ‘U’. My apologies, sir.”

Um, no it doesn’t.

(And regardless, are there even any biracial stereotypes?)

So what if your friends are niggardly? That hardly dehumanizes them!

(Oh, and did you see how she also worked the “I have Black friends” message in there? Very slick, indeed.)

Well, actually…¹These students appear to have particular trouble with this concept, as evidenced by one of the images from the campaign’s initial run: 

OH, HELL NO.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? 

“Undocumented Americans“? Shut the fuck up.

Doubtful.

Well, actually…

Whatever. But I’m still saying “Blatino,” because it sounds cool.

Oh, and “Blasian,” too.

Except that phrase would entail telling someone else to kill you, which would be homicide.

I highly doubt that.

No, I’m pretty sure that the mental retardation did the marginalizing, not the word.

That’s akin to claiming that saying “white trash” undermines the culture and accomplishments of white people.

I’m guessing the Cleveland Indians will be surprised to hear this.

Okay, first of all, I’m going to assume that you’re blind, because otherwise I’d have to assume that you’re an idiot.

Second, everyone? Really?

Tell me how beautiful Hitler was.

Or how beautiful the savages of ISIS are.

Or how beautiful Kim Jong Un is.

Not if you say it to a male.

“Retarded” is a word “that causes so much pain”? Yeah, that seems rather melodramatic.

Well, if they have HIV — a deadly disease — they’re certainly not clean! (And we all know how HIV spreads by now, so nobody thinks they’re “dirty” as in “icky.”)

Fuck you.

Some things are, actually, just a phase.

Someone’s got “crazy eyes”…

(Hint: His/her name rhymes with “Catherine White.”)

Determination is not the same thing as bossiness.

But if you’re truly not ashamed of your determination, then why would you even care if others happen to call you bossy? Sounds to me like someone isn’t as confident as she’s claiming to be.

(Looking at you, Ms. Dalton.)

No, hon. It’s not an “athlete class” because there are a lot of athletes in it. Rather, it’s an athlete class because it has a reputation for being so easy that even the dumbest athletes should be able to breeze through it. (And so, as a result of that reputation, a lot of athletes will register for it.)

The hell you say!

Then tell me this, Caroline Horrow: Why can’t you spell your name without W-H-O-R-E?

(Just kidding, of course. That one was way too good to pass up.)

How exactly do you think those women got to be leaders?

“Bitch” is not a “slur.” Get real.²I’ll note that this is not the first time the students have tried to exaggerate the linguistic power of “bitch” for purposes of their campaign. For example:and “Centuries of oppression towards women”? I don’t think so.

Unsurprisingly (because it is just so stupid), parodies of the campaign abound on the internet: