HOST: Hi, I’m Trish Hansen, and this is To Catch a Redditor. Tonight’s investigation takes us to a small town in Ohio. We’ve set up a fake moderately-feminist-themed post by a woman of colour using the decoy screen-name “MochaGoddess” on the subreddit TwoXChromosomes.

A picture of TwoX appears on the screen

...to lure this man

A picture of John appears on the screen

...into either posting or private messaging one of this trademark angry, misogynistic, and threatening posts which we will then reveal to his mother.

To Catch a Redditor logo appears on the screen. We then see John sprawled out on his couch, Breaking Bad on TV, and him scrolling through his phone. Suddenly he stops scrolling and starts quickly typing.

In the kitchen, to the camera

Trish: I think he sees it...

Talks to someone off-camera offscreen Did we get a notification? Did we get the red? Yes? Okay, open it up.

To the camera

It’s a private message.

Trish clears her throat and begins to read

“You dumb brown bitch, I’m so sick of the SJW bullshit. What the fuck has oppressed you, you curry-smelling cunt? Everything is such an fucking issue with you so-called “third wave feminists”, the only reason you hate men is because you probably have never had a dick in you because you’re probably a fucking fat beached whale hambeast piece of shit. I should fucking find you and give you the dicking you need because I don’t think you’re going to shut the fuck up any other way. Stop fucking playing victim, you oversensitive princess-culture bitch.”

Camera pans to John – he’s watching Breaking Bad now, and eating chips – back to Trish

Trish: I think it’s time we bring out John’s mother.

Somebody with a headset walks an older lady out – she looks mild-mannered and obviously distraught

Trish: Mrs.White, we need to go confront your son now.

Trish takes her by the elbow and leads her into the living room, John sits up with he notices them

John: Mom! I didn’t even know you were home.

stands up and extends his hand to Trish

John: Hi – I don’t think we’ve met.

Trish doesn’t shake his hand, puts her arm across Mrs. White’s shoulder

Trish: You’re very polite John. Are you always this polite?

John: Er... excuse me?

Trish: Did you not, just seconds ago, reply online to a reddit poster named “Mocha Goddess”?

John: What? How did you... Yeah, but...

Trish: And was that reply not rude, sexist and threatening sexual violence?

John: Looks wildly at his mother What? No! What are you ...

Trish: “MeanEggsAndSpam”, isn’t that you?

John: Who the hell are you? I don’t have to talk to you without a lawyer!

Trish: Did you do something that needs a lawyer to be present?

John: No! Mom, I don’t know what she’s taking about!

Trish: Why don’t you have a seat? Just sit down.

John sits, looking vaguely defeated and still very angry. Mrs. White looks like she’s about to cry

Trish: I need you to read your post to your mother.

John: No, I don’t have it. I’m not going to.

Trish: I have it right here. You posted it on your phone while you were watching TV. You weren’t even really paying attention when you said these things. It was just something you did to kill time. Shall I read it?

John: No, don’t!

Trish: If you don’t read it, I will.

John: FINE! Goddammit. furious now, pulling out his phone

“You dumb brown bitch...”

Mrs. White gasps

“I’m so sick of the SJW bullshit. What the fuck has oppressed you, you curry-smelling cunt?”

Mrs. White covers her mouth with her hands and her eyes start to tear up

“Everything is such an fucking issue with you so-called “third wave feminists”, the only reason you hate men is because you probably have never had a dick in you...”

Mrs. White is crying now

“... because you’re probably a fucking fat beached whale hambeast piece of shit. I should fucking find you and give you the dicking you need because I don’t think you’re going to shut the fuck up any other way.”

Mrs. White whispers, “Oh my god” and cries harder

“Stop fucking playing victim, you oversensitive princess-culture bitch.”

Trish turns to face Mrs. White, her back to John

Trish: I know that was hard to hear, but you have to know what kind of man your son has turned out to be, Mrs. White. You raised him the best you could, but this is the choice he has made. And he has made it repeatedly. This is NOT the first message of this calibre he has made. This is not a sickness, or a product of a bad childhood. He is an adult, and this is his choice to speak to women like this when he has anonymity.

John: Mom, don’t listen to this bitch! It was just a joke! I didn’t mean it! Everyone talks like that on the internet!

Trish turns back around to face John

Trish: That’s not true, John. Not everybody talks like this. Not even close. The least you could do now is not lie to your mother. And I should tell you, this conversation is being videotaped.

Mrs. White is sobbing hard

John: You don’t understand, these women on reddit, they’re just so privileged and they’re always complaining about men oppressing them and hurting them! They have it so good! We’re always buying stuff for them and we’re so nice, but that doesn’t get men anywhere anymore!

Mrs. White is suddenly furious, speaks through tears and clenched teeth

Mrs. White: So you send a message threatening to RAPE a girl?!

John: Mom... you don’t understand...

Mrs. White: WHAT? WHAT don’t I understand? That my only son is... is.... oh god, I can’t even say it. breaks down crying

John: weakly It was just a joke...

Scene fades out to the studio

Trish: John’s mother has since insisted he visit a therapist to help him work out his issues with women. John tried to convince her that the issues were societal and rooted in a loss of masculinity, but the general consensus – and John’s mother agrees – is that he’s just a massive dick.

Next week, on To Catch a Redditor, we visit the home of Steve, who sends unsolicited sexually graphic pictures to any poster who he comes across who says she is a woman.

Edit: Thank you guys for the gold and all the kind words <3