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Recipes for misogynists

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
23 Mar 2015 at 10:41 ET                   
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Lest there was any lingering doubt that the whole “men going their own way” subset of “men’s rights activists” is little more than a bunch of losers trying to convince you—and themselves—that their woman-free existence is a personal choice, this latest post from David Futrelle at We Hunted The Mammoth should end it. To summarize, “men going their own way”—they call themselves MGTOWers for short—are men who claim they are trying to end their interactions with women, on the grounds that women have failed in our duties to men. Those duties appear to be offering unpaid and uncomplaining sexual and housework services, along with a side dose of worshipping these losers while showing no signs or suggestions of having a life or opinions of their own. Finding women who are unwilling to play the role of the service robot, MGTOWers are striking out on their own, swearing up and down that women will be sorry to lose their manly presence. Any day now. They are going to be so sorry.
Anyway, part of the whole thing is learning to cook for yourself, which is supposed to be a Big Deal, because women will supposedly be weeping at the loss of an opportunity to cook for them. And so August Løvenskiolds at A Voice For Men posted a, uh, chicken “recipe” so as to free men from the evils of dependency on women’s culinary entrapments. I’m not exaggerating the ideological weirdness here, I promise:
Men like me who choose this path may experience a decline in disposable income as we no longer strive to be the stripper pole of cash climbed by needy, seductive succubi eager to harvest us for our resources. But this doesn’t mean that MGTOW should be denied the gastronomic pleasures of preparing our own easy, affordable, and low-cost meals.
Yep, warming up your own food is a strike for independence. These guys really know how to throw a revolution! Of course, to be fair, if you’re revolting against imaginary oppression, it’s not like taking real action is going to get you any further, so you may as well fantasize about how warming up a chicken breast will show those bitches.
But what is really amazing is the instructions themselves:
Now, the basic preparation of one of these frozen breasts is easy: remove from freezer and wrapping, plop onto a pan and place into a 450 degree Fahrenheit (about 230 Celsius) oven for about an hour or less.
While you are waiting, get on Twitter and give hell to any feminists you can find.
It appears that, just as he tries to convince you that his female-free existence is intentional, he meant to get so obsessed with harassing women online that he baked his chicken until it was a rubbery, tasteless mess.
I thought I’d help the men of A Voice For Men in their mission in their revenge through bad cooking mission by offering a few more recipes to help you convince yourself that it’s you who are doing the rejecting, not them.
Frozen Burritos Of Online Dating
Buy a pack of frozen burritos. Take a couple, unwrap them and put them in the microwave for 3 minutes. While you are waiting, message someone 20 years younger on OK Cupid, telling her she’s beautiful and you want to worship the ground she walks on. When she doesn’t reply before your microwave beeps, get angry. Who does this bitch think she is? Send another message explaining to her that she’s an ungrateful cunt and she really shouldn’t be on this service if she’s not going to reply immediately when you put yourself out there like that.
Rotate your burritos and put on another 2 minutes. Return to find that she has not replied yet. Get absolutely furious. Drop your pants and start jerking off until your cock is nice and hard. Pull out your iPhone and take a picture of it, to show her what she is missing. Send it to her. Ignore your microwave beeping, because you are too busy scrolling through her pictures of her laughing with friends and convincing yourself she’s just playing a game with you. Suddenly she messages back. “Jesus, dude, WTF,” it reads. Pen a 4 page manifesto explaining how women like her are the ruin of the world and they will be sorry one day when they’re alone with cats and frozen burritos. Send. Wait a few more minutes. She blocks you.
Eat your burritos, now cold, while drinking a Bud Light. Watch some porn, and laugh at all those women who are sorry now that you’ve found an alternative to dating them.
Gamergate Pizza
While playing video games, decide you are hungry and order some pizza. When it gets there, realize you can’t eat it while holding the controller in your hands. Take a break from gaming to eat your pizza while going onto Twitter and ranting about how Social Justice Warriors are ruining gaming by taking your games away from you. Return to your game, relieved that it is still there. Another day, another battle won.
Ex-Wife Grilled Cheese
Take two pieces of white bread and some Kraft singles. Butter the bread while heating up a non-stick frying pan on the stove. Put the cheese inside the bread and toss it in the pan. The phone rings. It is your ex-wife wondering if you remembered that it’s your weekend with the kids. Oh shit, you forgot, but you’re not going to admit that to her, because no doubt she’ll probably try to use it as leverage to squeeze more child support from you. Instead, blame her, saying that you were under the impression that she was cutting you off from the kids forever and that she just thinks you’re a child support check. She gets exasperated and asks how she is supposed to explain that you’ve forgotten yet another weekend to the kids. Tell her that you’re sick of her trying to poison them against you, and slam down the phone.
Your grilled cheese is now burned on one side. Irritated, you pull out your frozen burritos and decide to soothe your hurt feelings by going onto OK Cupid.
The Feast Of The Pick-Up Artist
After a few hours of trying to shout “negs” at women in a dance club who roll their eyes and walk away, you go home demoralized. You’re feeling peckish and open your refrigerator. Inside, there’s a bowl of strawberries and a bottle of champagne you had ready for the hot young thing you whose self-esteem you intended to undermine until she came home with you to prove that she was all that by fucking you.
You pour yourself a bowl of cereal and go on Reddit, where you write a multi-page description of how your night was supposed to go: You bowled some 19-year-old over, brought her home where she sucked your cock for hours, grateful that a magnificent specimen of alpha maleness like yourself paid her mind. She’s sleeping in your bed right now as you post your field report, you assure your online bros. You joke about how fun it will be to kick her out in the morning and refuse to call her back. You toss your cereal bowl in the sink without washing it.
I’m sure you guys have recipes of your own to share with these mighty men who know that living and eating well is the way to show those bitches. So feel free to share in comments!
About the Author
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
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  • jupitaur 7 days ago
    Why Do I Have To Wash My Ass Sauce
    Ingredients:
    Manly nuts. You may leave the hair on.
    Assemble nuts in sweatpants. Stew in own juices for a minimum of 96 hours. Fart as desired. Spend the time commenting in great negative detail on any picture of a woman that isn't a perfect 10.
    Run your hand along the bottom of the nuts. If you can't get your hand closer than 12 inches to your nose without gagging, it's done.
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            • Damian ibarra 6 hours ago
              I came here because of google news,but it doesnt surprise me the usual hypocrisy coming from moronic feminist.Its ironic that these guys are exactly like you feminist,in reality you both should just get together,both groups are full of people whom believe that another sex is responsible for the way they feel about themselves,its pathetic in this day and age for woman or men to claim they are oppressed,just grow up and start depending on yourself without believing that you are supposed to be handed everything,the world isnt fair and it never will be,men and women have strengths and weaknesses that mean they will have advantages and disadvantages,for every man that is given unfair advantage,there is a woman who is as well,if you think otherwise your an imbecile.And btw the fact that such a juvenile imbecilic comment is the featured comment here with 64 thumbs up is the apitamy of childishness that feminist hypocrits have become known for,no different than when they obliterate any man for looking at thier revealing outfits or criticising women for dressing full of cleavage, yet they crucified the man from the philae comet team because he wore a shirt with comic book character women on it,he almost lost his job and his career is irreparably damaged due to feminist hypocrisy yet if it were anyone criticizing any of you,you would equally crucify them,so just grow up and stop being so pathetically naive.
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                • Lightbringer 7 hours ago
                  Feminism: because equality just isn't good enough.
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                    • John Warbuck 8 hours ago
                      I personally find it appalling that anyone, man or woman, would consider it acceptable to post something so vitriolic and offensive. I've always believed that the way to earn respect is to respect other people and throwing barbs at people is only inviting conflict.
                      Articles like this do the feminist movement no favors. They actually prove the opposition's point.
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                        • SayHi2YourMom4Me 9 hours ago
                          This food is shockingly bad. These recipes are terrible! What kind of self respecting misogynist would want to eat this. Are you even a chef? Look just because you are a feminist, doesn't mean you can't spend time in the kitchen and learn how to prepare a decent meal. Look, to be fair, I'll go ahead and try the Ok Cupid suggestion, but frankly I have serious doubts it will make those tasteless frozen burritos you suggest any more palatable.
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                            • Glen Barrington 14 hours ago
                              What hate filled comments on both sides of this issue. It's OK for guys to decide to do without women, I just don't want to hear about it if you do. Just lead your lives and shut the eff up.
                              AND it's OK for women to feel a bit insulted by the comments of some of these guys. But seriously, is doing without this sort of man THAT big a hardship? It seems to me they make it easy for you to spot them and avoid them. This is a "win/win" situation for everyone.
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                              • Nimravid 19 hours ago
                                The whole movement is "if women won't serve me, I hate them and I'll leave without letting them serve me." But they never leave. They just keep honking and bleating and expecting them being male is an argument.
                                They never go their own way. Never. I think they can't, considering the gasps of wonder at basic life skills.
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                                  • chromecommando a day ago
                                    I am not part of this but might I say why are you throwing such a temper tantrum over this? I mean if these guys are such " losers " which I do not agree on based on my clients on my therapy reception but if these guys are such " losers " then wouldn't you be glad they are going away. Thus the whole article is illogical and pointless.
                                    Unless that is; you do care and you do know that what you write is not actually so. That would explain the ques that imply frustration. If you did not care then you would have not written this article and then post it nor would you post such over extensive insults. And no offense but the article is quite childish to be honest.
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                                      • Kiryu a day ago
                                        This is a quite hilarious article and so ignorant on the subject.I feel alot of frustration from you Amanda.We are leaving you women alone because we have better,more productive things to do then wasting our money and time on you.Why are you so angry?You also have less to fear from getting raped (female paranoia of 21st century) because nothing you have to offer interests us so again,why so angry?
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                                        • Phil McCracken 2 days ago
                                          Sure, I'm a misogynist. It's a good thing.
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                                            • Budmin 2 days ago
                                              Who ever informed you that this movement was about hot pockets and forcing women back into the kitchen has done you a disservice.
                                              Mgtow is the realization that once industrialization and western culture settles in to a community, traditionalist social norms like interdependency, gender essentialism, and the family unit inevitably gives way to raw female self-intrest.
                                              All Men should be informed that women have always been nothing more than a competing special interest group for political power. We're cutting the apron strings that leave men vulnerable to manipulation. MGTOW is good for everyone.
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                                              • MGTOW 4Ever 2 days ago
                                                Men need women like Banks need Robbers.
                                                I love it that if you give to much attention to a woman you are a misogynist oppressor. Don't pay any attention to women you are misogynist. Which is it Amanda?
                                                Why should I spend my hard earned money on women, why should I do anything for women? What exactly have they done for me? How do I benefit from a Female relationship? What do women even bring to the table? Please list the benefits of interacting and getting involved with women? ( This is a serious inquiry, because I simply can't find a logical argument "for" women)
                                                FYI Ladies your whole argument based on you need companionship is not applicable to men. Men unlike women are designed to deal with prolonged isolation, men don't need no where as much social interaction as women do.
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                                                  • Ben > MGTOW 4Ever 2 days ago
                                                    Alright MGTOW 4ever, lets break this down a bit. You say 'if you give too much
                                                    attention to women then...' as if the "attention" is always well received. YOUR perception of attention can very easily be seen as excessive or creepy. Secondly, if you aren't paying attention to women, than how is it possible for any woman to call you misogynist, posting on feminist articles is hardly "not paying attention to women", I would say it's the exact opposite. MGTOW have 'removed women from their life' yet they still watch porn, read feminist articles, talk about women's domination over men... if you are cutting out women from your lives, then don't fucking talk about women. Period. In all honesty you sound like a 5 year old threatening to run a way from home, just to get the attention you so desperately seek.
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                                                      • MGTOW 4Ever > Ben 2 days ago
                                                        Is this the best rebuttal that you can muster? Seriously?
                                                        YOUR perception of "attention" is your opinion. YOUR lack of paragraphs make you look like uneducated buffoon that lacks basic English fundamentals. Should I also mention your moronic run on sentences? (I'm not even a Native English Speaker)
                                                        Your lack of understanding MGTOW is astonishing.
                                                        MGTOW haven't removed women from their lives they just choose not to make them a priority like most Beta males do.
                                                        Reason why I post on a Femitard article is because social policy set forth by Governments are driven by airheads such as the author. I also comment on said Femitard articles because it references mgtow phenomena in an incorrect manner, therefore if you are "talking" about me you will actually have a MGTOW comment on it. I am sure if I wrote about Femitards I would have Femitards comment on it.
                                                        Run away, I run from nothing I just choose not to make women the pimples of the world.
                                                        You sir frankly read like a complete Male Feminist BETA pussy beggar. I have no respect for Turds like you.
                                                        To top it off you still FAILED at answering MY QUESTIONS:
                                                        Why should I spend my hard earned money on women, why should I do
                                                        anything for women? What exactly have they done for me? How do I benefit
                                                        from a Female relationship? What do women even bring to the table?
                                                        Please list the benefits of interacting and getting involved with women?
                                                        ( This is a serious inquiry, because I simply can't find a logical
                                                        argument "for" women)
                                                        You just keep on trucking on the Feminist Retard bus, because Facts and logic doesn't seem to be your strong suit.
                                                          see more
                                                          • JMPesq > MGTOW 4Ever 2 days ago
                                                            You shouldn't pursue a relationship; the women of the world are much, much better off with creeps like you who use "pussy" as an insult completely ignoring them. There is great benefit to all women if you won't get involved with any of them.
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                                                              • Ben > MGTOW 4Ever 2 days ago
                                                                I don't think it matters what my response is, you will still call it asinine. You will still say I don't understand. You will still call me uneducated. You will still do so in an overtly aggressive/agitated/angry way. I don't need to use paragraphs to make a point, and I don't need to use full sentences in the comment section of an online blog. If you expect this, try reading peer reviewed and published work, but good luck finding content in that format that supports your view on oppressed men in American culture.
                                                                [new paragraph]
                                                                Now, I know that I will never change your mind about women. Your belief that women only use men as disposable objects and have no positive benefits to bring to a relationship is clearly too engrained to change. However I do feel that you should understand, there is never a reason to be hateful, or spiteful online. You have never met me yet you openly aggress, attacking attributes of my response that have nothing to do with my opinion of MGTOW.
                                                                [new paragraph]
                                                                This type of response has interesting psychological effects on a person. As humans we group ourselves, but we tend to do so with like minded people who tend to remind us of ourselves. There are a million examples but one is how white people tend to hang out with white people. However, this grouping directly conflicts with our understanding of being culturally responsive individuals (Being Inviting/ Accepting/ Open minded etc.). To validate our self segregation we use subconscious tactics that provide us a reason 'outside of our control' for our grouping. One example of this tactic is white people saying black people just don't try hard enough, which is incredibly racist and assumes blacks are treated equally and so must be innately inferior in their ability to succeed (Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S... omg wikipedia!
                                                                [new paragraph]
                                                                You happen to be using a similar tactic. Because you want to dissociate feminism with real people, you attack things that have nothing to do with feminism. You attack grammar, education, intelligence, just to disconnect your perception of women, and feminism from being in anyway relatable, or connected to YOU. Through this disassociation of feminists being people you could actually relate to if you tried, you continue to validate, in your eye's, the hate you spread so willingly on the internet.
                                                                  see more
                                                                  • Law > MGTOW 4Ever 2 days ago
                                                                    "Your lack of understanding MGTOW is astonishing."
                                                                    No, it really isn't. Because you can't seem to figure out how to Go Your Own Way. Please do get on with it! The way does NOT lead to feminist blogs like this one, does it?
                                                                    MGTOW always seem to end up finding their way to places like this, which to us is rather baffling. Shoo already!
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                                                              • androgyne anode 2 days ago
                                                                His behavior here aside, I'm actually astonished that he hasn't been scrubbed and banned given his rather "special" comment history. Do the mods want to weigh in on this? Bueller? Anyone?
                                                                This is a real freakshow.
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                                                                • Brandon 3 days ago
                                                                  You can just taste the bitterness of the author as she struggles against the reality that some men really have absolutely no use for her.
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                                                                        • makingcomments 4 days ago
                                                                          Oh no! The MGTOW trolls have arrived to complain about how awful women are and talk about feminism as if they are experts despite not knowing what a feminist is...I guess this is what you are used to, Amanda. Keep up the writing!
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