I've been threatened by a tremendous variety of people throughout my 28 years. On the serious end, I have been threatened in real life by a street gang leader as well as a professional MMA fighter back when I did Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. On the funny end, I have been threatened by a number of silly children over Twitter.

However, I have never been threatened by someone this delightfully absurd.

It all started yesterday night when I was chatting with a girl on Fetlife, a kink-oriented site. I should have known better, since she looked like a typical SJW, but I was telling her about a feud between two pornstars (Nikki Benz and Lisa Ann, for those curious) which she was wildly interested in at first.

However, when I mentioned one of Nikki's Tweets, it "triggered" her. Since this wasn't the first time a woman has acted crazy around me, I calmly defriended and blocked her.

I largely forgot about it until this morning, when I received the following messages. They were from a member in British Columbia listed as "friends with benefits" with the SJW girl (who is from California, like myself). I doubt they have ever actually met.

But that wasn't the best part. The guy was in a wheelchair. Oh, and in the (worst) Fetlife tradition, he had multiple pictures of his penis on his profile.

However, this did not stop him from being an Internet Badass and threatening to rip me apart with his arms! (That's right; not hands, but arms!) Read and laugh;

http://imgur.com/RtgVogM http://imgur.com/cZWeMG5 http://imgur.com/X7gJ7yc