My friend lives on a farm and one day when I was visiting, I caught him fucking a chicken. I'm not one to judge but I just wanted him to know that it was dangerous to fuck animals he could wind up dead.

I saw him and later and lo and behold, he's fucking a sheep. Okay again not too crazy, I've heard other people have done this before. I leave and let him know again that this is way dangerous and he could get himself killed.

So a little time went by and when I went to visit he was getting fucked by a horse. I stopped and asked what the hell was he up to fucking these animals? He was definitely going to get himself killed. So he said to me, "Look I have this goal to fuck every animal on my farm before I die." I said, "Sorry man, this IS going to get you killed."

I couldn't really visit him for awhile, but when I came back to see him, sure enough he was sprawled out dead in his field. I screamed his name as I ran towards him with tears in my eyes. I knew it was too late, he fucked himself to death. As I drew closer, I just said over and over, "Why, why did you have to do this to yourself!!??"

That's when he pointed up, shooshed me and said, "SHHHHhhh, vultures."