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DiscussionHere's an idea (self.MensRights)

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[–]Karissa36 -7 ポイント-6 ポイント  (24子コメント)

Well sure, but seriously the best advice you can give these college men is don't be an asshole. That is the advice I have given my own college age son. Avoid hook-ups with strangers, but if you go there, no matter how bad it feels the next morning don't just ditch her. Be kind and polite for the next two weeks at least and get some friendly texts going back and forth. A woman who files a false rape allegation against you fucking hates you. Avoid having women hate you. That's the best advice to avoid a false rape allegation.

[–]o9JOhY6iPn 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (6子コメント)

It's better to just make fun of them relentlessly, don't fuck them, and always be recording.

[–]Karissa36 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Seriously, you should seek help. This is painfully dysfunctional.

[–]o9JOhY6iPn 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

But seriously, why kowtow to the oppressors?

[–]aesopstortoise -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (3子コメント)

My take is that gender feminism wants to destroy trust and intimacy between the sexes, so adopting a totally cynical approach is playing into their hands. Building a relationship with a girl before you have sex, aiming for emotional attunement and understanding, lessens the risk that either side will feel exploited or abused, and also gives you a chance to find out whether the girl concerned has drunk from the feminist well. If she has then get out, because she is the sort that will redefine your relationship at a later date and see it in the worst possible light.

[–]o9JOhY6iPn 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

My take is that gender feminism wants to destroy trust and intimacy between the sexes, so adopting a totally cynical approach is playing into their hands.

That's what everyone should do every time the assholes take over.

In reality, they're counting on you to be the better person. Why be the better person?

[–]aesopstortoise 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why be the better person?

Because gender feminists don't represent all, or even a majority, of women. Because they are wrong in such a deep way that I don't want to take my lead from them, or live by reacting against them. I want to live my life by values that don't rely on victimising or being victimised. I want, I really want, to find ways of showing them that their ideology is a poisonous irrelevance, and a beginning of that is to behave in a better way than they do.

[–]o9JOhY6iPn 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Were you born yesterday? When has that ever worked?

[–]5HourEnergyExtra 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Not sure why that'd work. She could still regret the sex. She might think you're a loser, unattractive, her friends might make fun of her, in some circles it's uncool not to have a rape story, etc. She isn't going to sacrifice her entire reputation for you just because you're a nice guy.

[–]aesopstortoise 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

in some circles it's uncool not to have a rape story,

Could somebody please contact Agent Smith, I need to discuss getting reinserted into the Matrix.

[–]5HourEnergyExtra 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't get it.

[–]Karissa36 -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Hmmm. If you are reasonably sure she will regret having sex with you then don't have sex with her. That's pretty basic.

[–]5HourEnergyExtra 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

How are you supposed to know if she'd regret having sex with you? Maybe she has a friend who heard a rumor that wasn't true and will use it to make the woman call rape. Maybe you accidentally and unknowingly insulted one of her friend's views at some point without knowing they even know each other. Maybe she gave consent and acted enthusiastic so you had good justification for believing she wanted to have sex but then in the morning she realized that she's been sleeping with enough guys that her friends will think she's a slut and she needs an excuse.

[–]Karissa36 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I am very sorry for your social context. Look most people, male or female, are actually reasonable. Most people, male or female, you can trust to act in a reasonable manner. If shit happens, and you are innocent, you can easily find people to stick up for you. Really. Granted you need to pay lawyers, but even so my heart bleeds for you. It's not so scary out there. Dude, take a chance. Take a chance. She wants you too. Dive in, it's life, take a chance.

[–]5HourEnergyExtra 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am very sorry for your social context.

I didn't say anything about my social context, nor is it relevant to the discussion. I'm talking about a large nation wide issue or false rape accusations.

Look most people, male or female, are actually reasonable. Most people, male or female, you can trust to act in a reasonable manner.

I didn't say anything to the contrary. I said that there exist unreasonable individuals and unreasonable social groups.

If shit happens, and you are innocent, you can easily find people to stick up for you.

No you can't. This is nothing more than a just-world hypothesis. In reality, the standard of evidence for rape is extraordinarily low, campuses have political interests in siding with the accuser no matter what, and reputations are destroyed by mere allegations. Here's a good collection of essays and letters about it.

Granted you need to pay lawyers, but even so my heart bleeds for you. It's not so scary out there. Dude, take a chance. Take a chance. She wants you too. Dive in, it's life, take a chance.

What is this feel-good type bullshit? I never said anything about my own risk taking capabilities. I only talked about the legal situation surrounding it. No inspirational words of "take a chance, dude!" will make that go away. We need a real solution that has the defendant's due process rights in mind.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Imagine you, as a woman, having to live with the 'advice' you gave your son, while having to live in the world your son does. Just imagine having to smile, and tell yourself your mother means well, while listening to it.

Jesus.

[–]Karissa36 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

OK, I admit that your comment did at least make me think twice, eventually. I lecture my son on how not to be a wolf while simultaneously advising my daughter on how to avoid wolves. In my mind the difference is social competence and vulnerability. My son is tremendously popular while my daughter is kind of shy. But just maybe I do have my own ingrained prejudices here and view my daughter as more vulnerable. Something to consider...

[–]Karissa36 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

What's the problem here? Act like a fucking normal polite compassionate human?!!! Pretty damn sure my son can handle that. Except he's in a fraternity and it's a hook-up culture and yeah. He's cute as hell and he gets around. Shit might happen. Note that our discussion was how to avoid FALSE rape allegations. Unfortunately, that could be a problem. Because some women are just crazy. A couple weeks of affectionate texts are the best possible defense. Give me something to work with. Just in case. Because between you and me, I'm scared as hell. One crazy woman and his future could be derailed. Get it on record and give me something to work with. Don't make her hate you. If you make a mistake, suck it up and deal for a couple weeks. Just in case. There really is no better advice from a legal perspective.

Edit: OK, the best advice from a legal perspective is just don't have sex. I don't think that's all that reasonable or particularly good from a social perspective. I'm trying to balance out the potential legal problems if he unfortunately comes across a special flipped out snowflake. Which unfortunately these days is not all that rare. Defense is the best offense. Yeah, sue me, for making sure my kid has a defense. Good luck with that.

[–]Pornography_saves_li 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes there is, but you're a woman and can't bring yourself to admit his best options are either to not go to college, or avoid women completely while there. But that's beside the poing. Imagine someone who suffers from absolutely none of the persecution in question, advising 'be a good, obsequious mule, and maybe the guillotine will pas you by'. How fuck in scared do you think HE is?

But yeah, poor Karissa, scared for her son.

[–]Karissa36 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How fuck in scared do you think HE is?

LOL. Not scared at all. This rates right up there in his mind with me lecturing about him wearing his seat belt. Which I also do.

Yes there is, but you're a woman and can't bring yourself to admit his best options are either to not go to college, or avoid women completely while there.

Good heavens! So, dude, do you ever actually leave the house? Cause you know there is this extremely remote chance you might be hit by lightening. /sarcasm

[–]Pornography_saves_li 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm telling you that you are giving your son absolute cap advice, that is virtually guaranteed to land him in prison. But whatever, you obviously know way more than me, so you, and your son, can go fuck yourselves.

[–]Karissa36 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sure, you have fun going off and hiding in a cave somewhere. Tell yourself that you are somehow doing this because of "big bad mean women" and maybe "feminists" instead of your own social anxiety. Jesus fucking Christ. Can we show some reasonable level of social competence in these comments?

[–]aesopstortoise 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I find your response odd, as the advice makes sense to me. We may have a generation gap going on here, as I don't understand what you mean. Could you explain further?

[–]TotesMessenger 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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