I don't get it, you weren't top mod (not that this would make any difference), why should anybody care about the already random anonymous people moderating? What kind of vainglorious bullshit is this?

And what's with this "mods don't get enough credit". Firstly, mods are the friction that cause most of the bullshit. Secondly, most of the shit that happens on reddit is censoring people saying "oh fuck you idiot" - I don't see how rushing to an internet argument between two idiots, with a shiny badge and a hard hat makes you a hero.

Spam is nigh automatic, so most of your job is fixing the many false-positives.

So, I find it weird that you "retire". Isn't it the same as just... not clicking "moderation queue"?

Hey everyone... I will no longer be clicking the queue link FYI

Or is there something else involved like having to ignore the mod message indicator?

This is a sincere fucking question, because, due to your need for attention I've had to read:

/u/tottenhamhotsauce Best of luck moving forward, thanks for your contributions.

Holy fucking shit. Best luck moving forward? I don't know bro, can you ever move forward from writing shit and clicking shit on reddit?

What next? Update your résumé with I was a mod of justiceporn for x months and apply for /r/plumbing because you think you'd be good at it, or /r/legaladvice because you've always wanted to be a lawyer?

Or, what about /r/lumberjack, you know because you've always wanted to work outside?

How fucking removed from reality are you? Why the fuck do we need the hubris and bullshit of "who is wearing the sheriff's badge today?". Eh? Let's all get some walkie talkies and some sticks shaped like guns and run around the park playing internet superheros?

It's embarrassing.

That said, while justiceporn is one of those subs where the theme is something that requires someone of higher than dog intelligence to get and not turn it into something stupid, that's what downvoting is for.

300k people can downvote things that aren't justiceporn.

A word from our Brawndo spondor: Reddit's CEO Ellen Pao under SEC/FBI investigation for her part in her husband's ponzi scheme

If someone is going to le gild my comment and make Ellen look good as CEO, I'll have to balance things out. This part is unrelated to the top part of this comment. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

The current (before she is in prison) reddit joke CEO is Ellen Pao, as of a few weeks ago when Yishan Wong, (who personally hired her and put her forward for the CEO position, and has totally not had sex with her either, honest, he's married, she wouldn't do that) stepped down instantly without warning... and she was instated within the week. Unheard of.

Ellen Pao, a psychotic and entitled monster who is being investigated by the SEC and FBI along with her hubby for their role in a ponzi scheme ripping people off. Ellen Pao is fraudulently suing their previous employer to get some go-money as she is:

• Bankrupt
• Illiquid
• In massive debt
• Any other synonyms for fucked?

While doing so she is taking every chance to shit on every woman who has truly suffered discrimination at their job.

Ellen Pao is trying to characterize a relationship she had while at the company as "almost" rape, saying she "succumbed to advances"... and "while it wasn't rape, it was consensual... not rape... did I say rape enough yet?":

• She invited the guy out for dinner
• she said he was her hero and his mind was amazing
• she bought him chocolates
• she admitted she loved him
  • wanted to marry him
  • wanted to have kids with him
• FYI: She never said this was rape, in fact she has MANY MANY TIMES, said "it was not rape". You know. Like a suspicious number of times. Which is weird. She usually says it like "it was entirely consensual dot dot dot", or "it wasn't rape at all dot dot dot". Like, I don't know, there's something sinister and almost rapey about her having sex with someone if he didn't leave his wife for her afterwards. Or she just wants the words "^not rape" and "^wasn't non-consensual" on the jury's mind.

But, wait for it. They had sex... and you know what that means in her mind. Entitlement.

So it turns out HE DECIDED NOT TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR HER. Ellen Pao seduced (sorry, succumbed to the advances of, and clearly someone who cannot make their own sober decisions about which dick to suck, needs to be a CEO. I know many (many) women who are capable of saying no to sucking dick (someone hold me...)) and screwed a married guy at work, then got antsy when he didn't leave his wife.

Wait... but that can't be true, I just said she didn't have sex with Yishan Wong, because he's married and... wait. Just to be clear *moves mic closer* Yishan Wong did not have sexual relations with Ellen Pao. Allegedly. I mean.

The current Reddit CEO Ellen Pao totally did not have sex with the last Reddit CEO Yishan Wong, just making that clear in case anyone else reads between the lines and gets the wrong idea, ALSO Ellen Pao DID NOT RAPE Yishan Wong. I know I probably shouldn't even bring it up, but I just want to be clear on that.

No, honestly, she didn't rape him, but you see the effect first hand now. Seriously though guys, this rumor should not get out of hand. Please make sure you tell people that Ellen Pao DID NOT rape Yishan Wong in case it comes up. I mean, even if people don't bring it up, it's probably salubrious and prophylactic just to casually mention that Ellen Pao did not rape Yishan Wong to get the CEO position. I mean, let's nip this rumor in the bud, before it spreads. Let's get ahead of it.

Edit: Guys this is getting out of hand, I've heard rumors that huffingtonpost is going to run the rape allegation story, that seems a bit unfair, we really shouldn't let this get out of hand.

She also did not promise him a cut of her "winnings" of $16,000,000 if he stepped down his reddit position (poorly paid one at that) and vie for ten years salary payment from her instead, by making her a "CEO", although a joke title here at le reddits, it looks good for her case.

ooooooooh snap! *Maury-I am not the father dance*

So when he decided not to leave his wife for her after a brief fling, she is on record showing she spent FIVE YEARS deliberately trying to stir shit up, only keeping emails and parts of reply chains that gave a context to her being "shunned". She goads people and tries her damnedest to cause conflict to get it on record. AND FAILS!

1. She was paid MORE than her male colleagues
2. Given the best mentorship, guidance and coaching from the most reknown and expensive coaches
3. She had hundreds of complaints filed against her from WOMEN in the organization, that she MASSIVELY discriminated against filing poor reviews and criticisms and complaints against almost all women she worked with.
4. She has emails showing her taking advice from lawyers back in 2008, then one friend of hers saying "delete all emails except those you can use to try and sway your case". So she did that. For five years.
5. Her complains amount to: I was made to sit at the back and take notes. Despite only doing that on ONE occasion and actually spending the first days in the front row, people not letting me in to their deals... after people complaining she was always trying to get into deals after the research and diligence was done, instead of coming up with her own ideas. That's it, literally it.
6. She was offered her dream job, the job she wrote she wanted, when she was found to have failed EVERY SINGLE employee assessment for five years running, and missing EVERY TARGET. She refused, knowing it would hurt her CASE she had been building if she accepted.
7. She starts suing them while working there, being extremely abrasive, basically like Westboro Baptist abrasive, while trying to goad someone to make a move that would help her case. Nobody did.
8. As SOON as she complained they hired an investigator for her, literally within the minute, to help her. She refused to speak to the investigator they hired to HELP HER, while she was preparing her case, and finally did ONLY WITH HER OWN LAWYER PRESENT lol.

So she wanted to paint a picture of her being oppressed. What a sad fuck. Pissing in the face of every hard working person and shitting on the progress so many amazingly talented women have made. That's right Ellen Pao, pull down your kegs and shit into their mouths of all those professional women who would never stoop to such dirty fraud to get ahead.

She goes mental (read the whole thing) and now wants $16M. I don't want 1 gold to go on her record as "growing reddit". le lulz. Reddit, you crazy.

Ellen Pao wants someone to gild her $16,000,000 because she fucked a married guy, they talked about him leaving his wife and marrying her and having kids, he didn't... somehow that entitles her to $16,000,000, and it's totally not a hail-mary because she's going to prison when the SEC / FBI get through untangling the ponzi scheme in the Caymans accounts of her husband.

This TL:TL;DR;DR was brought to you by Brawndo and m'night shyamalamanalalan

TL:TL:TL;DR;DR;DR /u/ekjp (Ellen Pao) /r/BetterCallSaul

You Don't Need A Criminal Lawyer, You Need A "Criminal" Lawyer.