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Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! (self.Jokes)

submitted by Ozymandiastorm

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,

'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter'

Edna always replied,

'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said,

'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'

To this, Edna replied,

"Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said,

'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Buddy replied,

'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

EDIT1: I made it to the front page and my Karma has been destroyed :)

EDIT2: You guys can click on my post history and downvote all of my comments for a more efficient way to get back at me, I wanna see if I can get my Karma to 0. Thanks in advance

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[–]Asi9_42ne 1455 points1456 points  (19 children)

That's just how Edna would've wanted it.

[–]movaid7 269 points270 points  (16 children)

Plot Twist: Edna carried her parachute and went skydiving for free.

[–]grifter_love 122 points123 points  (12 children)

That's a bold plot twist.

[–]HostOrganism 47 points48 points  (7 children)

Let's see if it works out for Edna, Cotton.

[–]velocity010 11 points12 points  (6 children)

Doesn't look to good for Edna Cotton her face got cracked wide open when she fell on those pointy rocks, I don't think Edna has any comments.

[–]ImChuck 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Who's Edna Cotton?

[–]declanm2 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It was supposed to be "It doesn't look too good for Edna, Cotton"

[–]AgewithRage -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Emboldened, actually But no sense in being nit-picky, I suppose.

[–]wombatjuggernaut 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You should insert a comma after the word "actually". You should also change the "B" in "But" to lower case. There's no reason to call you out for it, though.

load more comments (2 replies)

    [–]apocalypse31 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Plot Twist: Edna had a seizure before she could pull the parachute.

    [–]blbd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    M. Night Shamealan.

    [–]Thaustar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's a nice plot twist... Have an upvote!

    [–]Mattorr 406 points407 points  (65 children)

    50=50 Math checks out.

    [–]paholg 299 points300 points  (48 children)

    You forgot units.

    $50 = $50

    Still checks out though.

    [–]SilentLurker 76 points77 points  (17 children)

    Except when $50 ≠ 50 male deer. If you find someone selling them for a buck a buck, I'd like to meet them.

    [–]paholg 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    Thus illustrating the importance of remembering units!

    [–]grumpenprole 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    no cause they're both bucks see

    jokes

    [–]Connguy 13 points14 points  (13 children)

    To be fair, the dollar is called a "buck" because at one point in time, 1 dollar was the standard price for a single buckskin. So buckskins were often used as currency for trappers out on the frontier, who would trade in their haul for an equivalent value of goods.

    So at one point in time, $50 did equal 50 male deer

    [–]HostOrganism 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    FWIW; a $10 bill is called a "sawbuck" because they originally had the Roman numeral 'X' on them, and a sawbuck is an X-shaped stand for holding up the ends of logs while they're being sawn.

    Anyone know why a $5 bill is called a "fin"?

    [–]SilentLurker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Anyone know why a $5 bill is called a "fin"?

    Yahoo answers says: "fin" (also "finnif") is from "finf," Yiddish for "five,"

    [–]HostOrganism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'll buy that for a dollar.

    [–]SilentLurker 1 point2 points  (9 children)

    50 male deer skins for $50 ≠ 50 male deer for $50. With 50 male deer, you have meat, skin, bones for tools, ect. Otherwise, someone would pay $50 for the deer, turn around and sell the skins for $50 and then have all that venison and whatnot for free.

    [–]Connguy 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    See now you're just being a butt.

    [–]SilentLurker 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    My teachers used to say the same thing. I make no claims otherwise.

    [–]HostOrganism 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    SilentLurker =/= silent lurker.

    [–]SilentLurker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am not a clever man.

    [–]RhodesianPipe -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

    By the time a society is using currency they've moved past the point of carving tools out of deer bones.

    [–]SilentLurker 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    There are still people in rural areas of the US that still practice this. I've personally seen it in the Appalachian area of Kentucky. On top of that, my response was in response to someone mentioning the fur trade, so not present time anyway.

    [–]ImChuck 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I, too, have read the Foxfire books.

    [–]SilentLurker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have honestly never heard of that, so I googled it and that takes place in Georgia, so I imagine it could be close to the same. I don't live in Georgia though, so I couldn't say.

    [–]grumpenprole 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    lol we're just makin' shit up huh

    [–]tekoyaki 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Or different currencies.

    [–]chairitable 65 points66 points  (3 children)

    Thank God, I thought Mattorr was saying that 50np = 50p

    [–]lemmiwinks81 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    50GBP = 50GBP

    [–]32Dog 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    50 Chicken Tendies = 50 Chicken Tendies

    [–]DFYX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Which is equal to np = p. Computer scientists would be devastated.

    [–]lukjad007 5 points6 points  (7 children)

    But wasn't Mattorr just simplifying? You don't need the units in math if they all are the same unit.

    [–]paholg 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    While units are often left off in math when everything has the same units, it's really only done because then unit analysis is trivial and people are lazy about how much they write. I still think that units should always be kept, as leaving them off can lead one to forget about them, leading to wrong and likely nonsensical results.

    In this case, the entire procedure is trivial, so I would argue that comparing units is just as important as comparing the value. Probably more important, as if the dimensions don't match up, then there's no point in comparing the values.

    [–]lukjad007 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    Well, if you are saying 47xy = 53x , then the x should be removed right away.

    [–]paholg 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    Assuming that x designates a unit, then sure, but in this case, what is being said is the equivalent of 50x = 50x. By a similar argument, the 50 should just be removed right away, and you're left with just something that is obviously true.

    There's no reason the 50 here would have more significance than x, so if one is represented, then the other should be too.

    [–]jboles [score hidden]  (0 children)

    This isn't what I signed on reddit for today.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]dalr3th1n 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Well, as long as x isn't zero.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]Eirheader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Ya but the units cancel out. Infact OP was kinda lazy. He could have further reduced the numerals by dividing by 50.

        1=1

        [–]awayfromdesk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        /r/theydidthemath

        [–]xbtdev 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        0.002 cents = 0.002 dollars. Math checks out.

        [–]bardatwork 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Only if you're Verizon

        [–]Isurrendertoyou -3 points-2 points  (13 children)

        you mean $50 = "$50" setting a variable to be itself doesn't accomplish anything!

        [–]paholg 27 points28 points  (12 children)

        I'm doing math, not programming and I'm comparing, not assigning.

        [–]Gin-Chan 8 points9 points  (11 children)

        Gotta use the compare operator then: 50 == 50

        Returns true

        [–]paholg 13 points14 points  (10 children)

        Again, doing math, not programming. Also, you left off the units.

        [–]ekgame 5 points6 points  (8 children)

        Just cast to dollars

        return Dollars.parse(50).equals(Dollars.parse(50));

        [–]paholg 11 points12 points  (7 children)

        Again again, doing math, not programming.

        [–]fagsindubai 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?

        [–]2147_points 3 points4 points  (5 children)

        A simple int will work in most programming languages.

        [–]paholg 4 points5 points  (4 children)

        Again again again, not programming.

        [–]Gin-Chan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'd have to escape them and I'm on my phone ... °v°

        [–]Dremora_Lord 15 points16 points  (10 children)

        r/theydidthemath

        [–]DemeGeek 4 points5 points  (8 children)

        r/combobreaker

        [–]A_Decoy86 13 points14 points  (7 children)

        /r/YouForgotThe1stSlash

        [–]gorocz 8 points9 points  (4 children)

        /r/TheyBothDid

        [–]A_Decoy86 5 points6 points  (3 children)

        /r/you'reright

        Edit: well shiiit

        [–]GhostOfLight 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        /r/subredditsarehashtags

        [–]lemmiwinks81 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        /r/ayylmao

        [–]ImChuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        whyisthisathing?

        [–]Fluffy_Viking 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Slash r Slash firstworldanarchists

        [–]DemeGeek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        /r/iDidItToMatch

        [–]leetdood_shadowban -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        /r/theydidthemonstermash

        [–]companysOkay 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        /r/FiftyFifty

        [–]Partytang 3 points4 points  (1 child)

        /r/theydidthemath

        [–]YagamiLawliet -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        I came here to comment that. You won this time, you won this time.

        [–]Surextra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        50 == 50

        [–]devilwarier9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        1 Doge = 1 Doge

        [–]brandynb 465 points466 points  (29 children)

        Edna met the Shredna, and now she's Dedna.

        [–]Tophattedteaman 88 points89 points  (12 children)

        Rekt

        [–]zamfire 114 points115 points  (10 children)

        Rekna?

        [–]EmmaWatsonSnipple 23 points24 points  (9 children)

        retina

        [–]StaigerTiger 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        It's Rhettina.

        [–]Your_Fucking_Boss 4 points5 points  (6 children)

        What's a Snipple?

        [–]Makrilli 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        It's the new house in harry potter, haven't you heard?

        [–]EmmaWatsonSnipple 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        it's like a nipple, but snip

        [–]Your_Fucking_Boss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        D:

        [–]Pick234 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

        the hell is a snipple?

        [–]Your_Fucking_Boss 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        We both wonder, man!

        [–]Pick234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Lol, it's great seeing snipple around, I always gotta ask him. The hell is a snipple :)

        [–]mike413 [score hidden]  (0 children)

        Edna Ejecta Rekta

        [–]ShadyLogic 6 points7 points  (3 children)

        Edna's deadna babyna.

        [–]LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Shady logic indeed

        [–]imjustbrowsingthx -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Me my mo meena

        [–]ImChuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Banana fanna for feena...

        [–]Heres_J 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That's so bad it's ...no, it's just bad. Sorry.

        [–]TheMcDucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        and she's Dedna.*

        [–]asj29 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Fapna

        [–]SofineBovine -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        F

        [–]schulaceTR -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        F

        load more comments (6 replies)

          [–]Planetofdagrapes 37 points38 points  (1 child)

          Edna didn't fall out, she jumped out. Tired of Buddy's stupid shit.

          [–]oldsystemlodgment 26 points27 points  (0 children)

          She was going to sneeze, but fifty bucks is fifty bucks.

          [–]the-d0c-is-in 41 points42 points  (11 children)

          Edna deserved it.

          [–]Test____PleaseIgnore 52 points53 points  (10 children)

          Edna is such a bitch.

          [–]Your_Fucking_Boss 10 points11 points  (8 children)

          Why didn't the fucking pussy get his own money and go up? Why did he need her permission?

          [–]LOHare 14 points15 points  (7 children)

          Because relationship and couples. Someday you may understand.

          [–]TreesHC 21 points22 points  (4 children)

          If you have 100$ and your wife has 100$, your wife actually has 200$.

          [–]PashaMUS 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          If you have 100$ and your wife has 100$, your wife actually has two pairs of new shoes and 100$ and you hear "why are you so irresponsible with our money."

          FTFY

          [–]mahBONES [score hidden]  (0 children)

          The neckbeard is strong with this thread.

          [–]REVERSE_GANGBANG [score hidden]  (0 children)

          Where the fuck did your wife get $100 shoes? Is her style to strut in Nikes? Found your problem.

          [–]ftrhsfdsjrgwretjh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

          only if you are a pussy

          [–]Geniusaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Someday

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]Light_Guardian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            *was

            [–]-iambatman- 87 points88 points  (67 children)

            Funny joke, but maybe instead of saying, "when Edna fell out," you should say "as Edna was falling out."

            That way there was a chance to save her that the husband didn't take. Also since Edna didn't call out as she fell, it would emphasis her commitment to thriftiness and maybe create two perspectives to the husband's actions.

            [–]IceShardd 74 points75 points  (2 children)

            Yes, but that would not confirm that he did not save her. "Fell out" undeniably means she did fall out, while falling out means she entered the process of falling out and we don't know if she finished the process and successfully fell out.

            [–]HoribeYasuna 30 points31 points  (0 children)

            successfully

            Well there's one success story I'd rather not hear

            load more comments (1 reply)

              [–]Sebbatt 18 points19 points  (2 children)

              WAIT! there is a comment next to this one, you may see it now, it's by the OP. it spoils the shit out of game of thrones. do not read it.

              [–]FuckNinjas 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              It's a season3 spoiler, if you're curious.

              [–]S_NiggaH -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Upvoted for op's invisiblity.

              [–]ARADPLAUG 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              WARNING: GoT Season 3 spoiler below.

              [–]DispenserHead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Season 3 game of thrones spoiler below!

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              .

              [–]nonstop_nosebleed 47 points48 points  (9 children)

              I'll give ya a discount. How's tree fiddy sound?

              [–]SingleStepper 40 points41 points  (6 children)

              Get outta here you Loch Ness Monstah!

              [–]Dremora_Lord 6 points7 points  (2 children)

              Would someone mind explaining me what's this tree fiddy and Loch Ness Monster?

              [–]Zantorym 10 points11 points  (0 children)

              It's a South Park reference.

              Edit:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=83bkpkCQu2Q

              [–]SingleStepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              It's an obscure South Park reference. Hey wait... is that you Loch Ness Monsta?!?

              [–]BugcatcherJay 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              But I need tree fiddy

              [–]tishstars 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Will that be in the form of bullets or pennies?

              [–]kingdomcome3914 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Yes.

              [–]ch3mistry -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Here's another dollar thirty six there dick tree.

              [–]HealthyDisease 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              "Tree fiddy is three fifty." -Buddy

              [–]idatarbell 3 points4 points  (2 children)

              This same line repeats in a sequence from a very funny 1980s movie called Used Cars: A fastidious couple kept hectoring the car salesman "Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks!" The movie made mincemeat of the man of the pair's remark. I can't remember how. What I do remember is that a rival car dealer, actually the dealer's corrupt car dealer twin brother, both played by Jack Warden., the brother hires a stunt man to try out a 57 chevy. The stunt man and the salesman get in the car, and the stunt literally drives the shit out of it, totally wrecking it on purpose. Somehow my memory has the fastidious couple in the back seat. And at the end, they get out and the husband gets out of the wrecked car and says once more "But Fifty bucks, is Fifty Bucks!" That can't be right, can anyone straighten what must be two separate film sequences out for me?

              [–]bugwug 3 points4 points  (1 child)

              Here is the clip. The stunt man test drive is at the start. The fifty bucks scene starts at exactly three minutes but you should watch from the beginning for the context. It is two scenes but the first is a setup for the second.

              [–]idatarbell [score hidden]  (0 children)

              my brother Ilka Tarbell replies from memory:"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" Redux:Redditt

              Actually, the line was "Fifty bucks never killed anybody." This line was spoken after Rudi LaRusso told the prospective buyer, "My boss is going to have a heart attack when I tell him this one." Immediately after left the room to talk to his boss, Jack Warden came in having a heart attack from riding with a crazy driver hired by his crooked twin brother. LaRusso is down on the floor, pounding Jack Warden's chest and the buyer is hollering, "All right! All right! I'll take it! I'll take it!"

              [–]joeyjojosharknado 2 points3 points  (1 child)

              Sounds like a joke the old Jewish guy in Coming to America would make.

              [–]The_camperdave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              That was Eddie Murphy.

              [–]MadGo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

              She might never get another chance

              [–]CTU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I must be a bad person as seeong her go cause she did not want to spend 50 bucks was fitting

              [–]grrirrd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              This joke has everything: an elderly couple who hate each other. Perfect r/Jokes material.

              [–]feardabear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I've been on reddit for too long.

              [–]twerkenstien 2 points3 points  (2 children)

              I wish people wouldn't use the punchline of the joke in the title. It kind of takes the punch out of it.

              [–]thenarddog13 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              Normally, sure, but in this case I think it's OK. I mean, it's not like those words aren't repeated throughout.

              [–]dannyr_wwe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

              "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks" is not the punchline. The context where it is used the last time is the punchline.

              [–]HodsonA 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              Fifty bucks = Edna

              [–]cATSup24 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Fifty bucks > Edna

              [–]CountBubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

              I thought the punchline would involve rape somehow...I need to clear my head

              [–]truthbeauty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              The pilot turned around and said that, and didn't noticed Edna was missing?

              [–]tomputer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Cheque.

              [–]TheAmajam -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Like it

              [–]DadaistaPacifista -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Bravo bravisimo!

              [–]GarlicsPepper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Jenny, Carly, and now Edna.

              [–]Its7up -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              /r/fiftyfifty

              [–]alexandergunther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of Buddy and Edna from the Incredibles

              [–]imbatshitcray 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              I was expecting a reindeer joke.

              [–]RatherBurnThanFade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              What is with Edna lately? She got married when released from the psych ward? We should start aTV series on Edna

              [–]RedPandaMediaGroup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              By golly.

              [–]ScientificMeth0d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Is it just me or was any one else thinking it would be a play on words, where bucks we're referred to as young male deers. Slightly disappointed :l

              [–]thetrollbird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              and Edna had the fifty bucks.

              [–]SeanCanary -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              I honest to God don't get it.

              [–]unsanemaker [score hidden]  (0 children)

              Amazing

              [–]crowscountingspades -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              My wife always enjoys knee-slappers like this one.

              (Whether she really does or doesn't, I'm still going to share...)

              [–]shortstory89 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              great joke, quite the biting commentary on modern society and its obsession with the almighty dollar

              [–]idontgiveaflyinfuck -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Miss you, Edna. I knew something was amiss today.

              [–]shreddinfred -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

              How about before the pilot lands he says " Alright that'll be fifty bucks." Then Edna says "Fifty bucks!?" And the pilot says, "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks."

              [–]Your_Fucking_Boss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              Huh? She fell out. She's dead.

              [–]Seusstein -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Would have been worth the 50 bucks after all...

              [–]Sandbag__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              This is a very old one. I remember my geometry teacher telling it to the class

              [–]megablast -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              It is funnier when Buddy falls out. Buddy gets his hubris thrown back in his face.

              [–]zorn64 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              What's a can opener?!

              [–]mharrizone [score hidden]  (0 children)

              EDIT2: You guys can click on my post history and downvote all of my comments for a more efficient way to get back at me, I wanna see if I can get my Karma to 0. Thanks in advance

              Don't tell me what to do!

              [–]wccghtyz -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

              lololollolololol

              load more comments (11 replies)