'I will be your captain for today to guide you through the deep dark depths of the social justice seas. Expect gusty winds. Only the most hardened soul can make it out alive, without catching the social justice disease upon these stormy seas.

Keep your hands inside the boat at all times please and hold on tight. On the right you will see the island of Feminazi’s. Their leader a bright red haired obnoxious specimen who looks like a haggard troll. Her second in command, a money grabbing lieutenant formerly known as patient 0. The first in a long line of zombie commander clones. Their goal? End all men. Destroying everything you love. Gaming is lieutenant Skeeters job. Nearly thrown off course by ‘5 guys’ Quinn she quickly got back on track with some fake death threats followed by a link to her patreon. The tumblrinas and social justice wankers had no clue. Blindly they followed like a sheep to its shepherd.’

As the boat drew closer, all you could hear was their red haired queen shouting ‘Fuck you,’ and serenading the men with ‘cry me a river’ whilst her pack of rabid wannabes threw male tears mugs at the decks.

'We better move out' screeched the captain trying to mask his panic. He turned the boat only to find himself heading straight for the cave where the pigs did dwell. These overly porky hambeasts were not to be messed with. 

'Ladies and Gentleman we are about to enter the caves. The sights you will see may horrify and shock you. This will be disgusting. This is not a sight for the faint hearted.'

And sure enough deep inside the caves was a smog thick with arrogance and self importance with a slight hint of ‘oppression’. These thick thighed, pot bellied, double chinned hambeasts were sat gorging themselves on anything they could find with in rolling distance. Of course these creatures couldn’t walk. Instead these primitive beings spend their time blogging all day. Topics include: oppression, thin privilege and trying to recruit new fatties to join the crusade. Of course they’d never get off their butts to try do anything about this. That would require actual effort and work. When these rather voluptuous creatures are not complaining about ‘muuuh genetics’, they can be found at the nearest buffet stuffing their face with a look of contempt at anyone below a size 8.