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Swinging...wow (x-post from /r/offmychest) (self.adultery)

swinger-throwaway1 が 投稿

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[–]BabeOfBlasphemy 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (8子コメント)

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Ill tell you what's harder than divorce because you and your wife want different lives:

  • going to jail for endangerment because you passed your wife an std

  • having your wife find out & getting you by the balls with evidence in court

  • wife deciding to ruin you by gathering evidence and exposing you to all your friends, family, co workers, etc

When people are deliberately lied to and kept in the dark about information that would change their life choices they get VERY mad. They feel as if they were forced to sacrifice great time, emotional and financial investment they can't get back all because someone was selfish and dishonest. Considering that the person who duped them was the same person they are supposed to trust with their very lives, their ability to trust is usually deeply (if not permanently) damaged, and they want justice for that damage.

When my ex cheated while I was pregnant I not only put him in jail (calling the cops and reporting all his marijuana and drug paraphanilia) but he lost his job, I told his whole family and social circle, I nailed him in court with all the evidence (half his pay is mine), his children lost permanent respect for him, passed out fliers at his mistresses' church... You name it, I was head hunting. The way I figured it: if i was deniec the right to choose if I wanted to make a kid and waste ten years (giving up almost all my opportunities) on a cheat, it was only fair that in return he lost his choices and opportunities.

You can swing ALL DAY LONG for all I care, but to do so while married to an unaware partner is BEGGING to get your life utterly toasted.

Just bite the bullet and tell her. A divorce NOW will be WAY cheaper than a divorce AFTER she learns what you did for years behind her back...

[–][deleted] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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Wow, he hurt you so you destroyed his life. Don't get me wrong, he did something truly horrible to you, and I'm really sorry, but you definitely didn't weigh your response properly.

[–]Son_of_Riffdog 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

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put him in jail

Yeah, your hormones are out of whack if you still think that was a good idea.

Hope your kids turn out normal, but it's not likely given all you did. 'grats.

[–]bob-the-hoser 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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Seriously, I was thinking the exact same thing. Way to take the high road and look out for you children...

I can understand being livid and going after him in divorce court, but snitching on him for marijuana so he goes to jail and making him lose his job? How does that help anyone? The children probably have no real father now, I'm sure the relationship between the parents is beyond strained, which sucks for the kids, and quite honestly the kids will probably lose respect for their mother with time. They will learn the truth eventually and see her craziness for what it is.

[–]anymouse2 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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Why would you tell all of those things to your children? That's cruel and unnecessary.

[–]normalism 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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I understand and fully support monogamy... but you are a bit of a bitch. Like... ruining his social life is one thing. Sending him to jail and ruining his financial life? And ruining his relationship with his kids? And you passed out fucking fliers? What are you 6 years old?

I kinda wish he could have sued you for harassment, because you stepped so far over the line it's amazing you can still see it.

[–]bob-the-hoser 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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You put him in jail? Jesus...I'm not excusing your ex's cheating, but how selfish of you to ruin him and take away your childrens' father like that. Way to let your ego get the best of you. You're not much better than your ex.

[–][deleted] -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

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others are giving you grief for your choices but honestly, I think you did what you should have. I 100% agree. as a woman, your life (and body and values) are indefinitely changed as a mother. his decision to cheat was a forfeit of his opportunities and he deserved what he got. you go girl.

[–][deleted] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

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I 100% agree. as a woman, your life (and body and values) are indefinitely changed as a mother

You know what. I'm not going to argue with you, because I don't think my assumptions of what you meant here will do you justice. Would you be willing to explain more what you mean here?

is decision to cheat was a forfeit of his opportunities and he deserved what he got.

His act severely hurt her. That is truly horrible, and he deserved to lose her, and for the people that are close to her (friends and family) to know why. Ruining his life by calling the cops and loosing his job I can't quite see as reasonable no matter how I think about it.

Then there is the flyers at the church. I know nothing about the situation, but did she know?, did she have any idea of the real situation (not some lie he told her about them being separated or unhappy etc...). Not saying her actions were ok, but to socially humiliate someone who may have been misled herself (we know the guy is already lying) seems ludicrous.