I get why you think that, because I used to feel similarly. I didn't start out this jaded; I believed from the bottom of my heart that I could change people's minds if I took the time to make them
understand.
And I tried. I had hundreds of discussions with people who I thought were just un- or misinformed, with self-professed "equalists" or "egalitarians," with people who kept asking me to prove that the patriarchy exists. Often they would get angry and misogynistic; their innocent-sounding questions were merely a ruse to start an argument or derail a discussion.
And it wore me out. I wasn't convincing people that feminism had merits; they weren't even open to changing their opinions. They were making me argue, which I didn't want to do, and they were much more dedicated to "winning" the arguments than I was (of course, they were the ones who decided who "won," so it was impossible for me to "win"). When I got angry about my experiences, I was told - the same way you're telling me now - that getting angry at people is what gave feminism a "bad name." I was told that I was the problem.
And norfolktilidie, I have to tell you, that is a load of bullshit. I am allowed to get angry at people who disrespect me and the people with whom I associate (and so are you; I don't really blame you if this pisses you off). I will call out asshole behavior when I see it, and I don't care any more if that makes me disliked. A life where I suppress my anger is too suffocating.
