I am a very, very firm advocate of the saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up”. If you can’t find it in yourself to be respectful about a person and are unable to see their value, then at least keep your mouth shut until you find the scrap of common decency in yourself that helps you recognise that this same person might mean something good for someone else. Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t be able to call people out on their shit when the situation calls for it. I fully support that sort of thing. But there is a strong difference between calling them out and calling them names. Don’t be that person resorting to the latter in your anger and indignation. Own your talk and think it through, because words can’t be taken back once you’ve said them.

I’m horrified over some of the things I’ve read last night and today. Horrified in the sense that I cannot believe that anyone thinking themselves a mature human being would have the sheer audacity to be this disrespectful toward the memory of a very young guy who died by his own hand last night. It’s even more disconcerting to see this happen in the Columbiner community, where you’d think people speaking kind and understanding words about Eric and Dylan would also be able to find the empathy in themselves to speak kindly of one of their own regardless of what a terrible act this person may have planned to do. If I can find the words and warmth in myself to embrace two long-gone young murderers, then I can certainly find the words and warmth to embrace the guy who’s been described to me non-stop as ‘funny and kind and sensitive and sometimes a bit of an ass’.

Here’s to you, James. May you rest in peace.