neurowonderful

Anonymous asks:

I am self-diagnosed with aspergers and wondered what the benefits are to getting diagnosed, I kinda want to just so I don't have to listen to people say "but it isn't OFFICIAL". I also haven't told my parents and I have no idea how I should.

Hi anon! Two good questions here— I will try to answer as concisely as possible.

On pursuing an official ASD diagnosis:

Other bloggers have written about this more eloquently and in more detail. Speaking for myself, the reasons I pursued an official diagnosis were

1) To receive better health and mental health care. I have been misunderstood by doctors and other authority figures my whole life— my SPD as anxiety, my trouble with communication as depression, my issues in school as laziness. I also have a chronic pain condition that necessitates a lot of doctor visits, and most doctors just don’t know about Autism, or their knowledge is incomplete. Having an official diagnosis helps me be understood by medical professionals so I can get better healthcare with less misunderstandings.

2) Accommodations. I eventually want to go back to arts college, and for anyone in a school or work environment, providing an official diagnosis is very helpful (and in some cases, necessary) to obtain any accommodations you need. For example, if I wanted to go back to school (and succeed) I would need a lighter course schedule, breaks in a quiet room between classes, the ability to leave class if I needed to and potentially even an in-class aid to help me understand directions and lectures. Having an official diagnosis can help you get the accommodations you need.

3) Validation. After an extensive, months-long investigation into Autism Spectrum Disorder, I was 100% sure that I was autistic. My husband agreed wholeheartedly, but sadly my doctor and family weren’t so sure. My doctor and family members were just ignorant— they had an idea in their minds of what they thought Autism looked like, and since I didn’t fit in that image, they were sceptical. But after receiving an assessment and diagnosis from experienced professionals, the sceptics had to accept my autism as a verified “fact”.

It also felt very good to be validated in that way. After a lifetime of knowing that you’re different, of struggling to get by and fighting with yourself and thinking you must be stupid or just broken— a diagnosis says, “Yes, you’re different. No, you’re not stupid. There are others like you, and there is help for you, and you are not alone.” There was a post going around tumblr that compared an autistic person receiving a diagnosis to Harry Potter being told he’s a wizard, in that all the struggles in your life suddenly make sense, and that there is a whole community of people that the same kind of different as you where you can belong. I think this is very accurate.

On telling your parents that you think you are Autistic:

I’ve heard a good idea on how to do this before. You can find a reputable website with a guideline or checklist of the common traits/symptoms/behaviours of people on the autism spectrum. Copy+paste it into a word editor and remove any reference to autism/aspergers. Print it out and show it to your parents, not saying what it is, just asking them if they think it sounds like you.

If/when they agree that it does sound like you, you can tell them where you found the information and that it describes someone with ASD. It may be helpful to think of the questions they may ask ahead of time and jot down your answers to those questions, and then have that paper on you so that if you get muddled up or forget what you were going to say, you have what you were going to say.

Other tips: Tell your parents on a day when they are both in as good of a mood as can be expected. Ask them if you can talk to them about something important beforehand (ie. Mom, can I talk to you and Dad about something important tonight/after lunch/in ten minutes?) and ask at a time when they are not in the middle of something or just about to leave. Try to speak calmly and, if your parents are sceptical or express doubt at first, remind yourself that it’s a big piece of news and that it can be a hard thing to accept or understand. Keep cool. Give your parents time to ask any questions they have and work hard on listening to what they’re really saying. Be honest!

Sorry if my advice is a bit vague. If you have any more specific questions you can send them my way. Thanks for the ask, anon, and good luck!